Carmen

I am new to Yahoo groups. Well I have taken a leap of faith in my journey with Unschooling my 5 year boy after really bad experiences with public school for 6 months, and even homeschooling did not go well at all.
I just feel nervous because all he wants to do is watch cartoon videos on TV, play his DS and PS2 and get on the Computer and play games. You know the Superheroes, racing, Mario, and everthing that is a game. He likes to get on PBS Kids and Nickelodeon. In between these activities we do art, we read alot, and we talk, have conversations all the time.
He learned how to spell his name in school and his last name he learned from hearing me spell it to people all the time.
My son has a variety of likes. Sometimes I ask myself how could he be interested in so many things all at once?
My problem is how do I use all those interests and teach him what he needs to know. How do I come up with ideas, to expand on that interest and that he learns. I battle with my upbringing when it comes to focusing on what he needs, not what I think he needs. I am careful not to impose my self will on his.
Is there an easy way you Unschooling Veterans can recommend on personally applying the de-schooling method to myself? LOL
I find myself going to sites for Curriculums. I would feel so much at ease if I could follow some type of unschooling curriculum. I know no two childs are the same, but reading an unschooling curriculum would perhaps give me some ideas, on how to follow my childs interests and get the most in teaching at that moment. Ideas, Ideas is what I am looking for. Thank you all for reading my nerve ranting introduction. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Joyce Fetteroll

On Mar 1, 2012, at 7:36 PM, Carmen wrote:

> reading an unschooling curriculum would perhaps give me some ideas, on how to follow my childs interests

How could an anonymous person know more about your son than your son?

Rather than trying to get the world into your son, help your son reach what he's already trying to reach from the world.

Put other things in his reach. Let him decide if he's interested enough to pick them up.

> and get the most in teaching at that moment.

This may be where you're going wrong. Don't try to use your son's interests as openings to get in what you think needs to get in.

Unschooling is like putting out a monkey platter for a child to choose what he wants and how much he wants from:

http://sandradodd.com/eating/monkeyplatter

The goal isn't to get him to open his mouth so you can pour in the vitamins and minerals he needs for the day ;-) The goal is to provide a variety of foods he like and might like in a way he can pick and choose what looks tasty to him.

For now, until you feel you've comfortably deschooled, don't think in terms of anything he might do in school. Look just at his interests. Find more like that. Find other things that are related. Sit back and watch. Participate if he wants you to. Get to know who he is and why he believes what he believes.

He is busy assembling the universe inside him. You supply the raw materials for the parts he's working on now. The raw materials are whatever he's interested in. And they truly are raw. They won't look like assembled pieces at all. They'll look like rocks and worms, TV shows and computer games, popsicles and talking about dandelion fluff. Do less taking and way more listening to him.

I know that's frustrating! When they're young they seem ready to pull in the world if you could just figure out the opening that would let it flow in. They've pretty much mastered an entire language by 5! :-) so it seems calculus is not far behind ;-) But natural learning is pulling raw data so kids can grow their own understanding, not memorize someone e'se's understanding.

Joyce

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Sandra Dodd

-=-reading an unschooling curriculum would perhaps give me some ideas, on how to follow my childs interests-=-

Perhaps, but what will really help is becoming an unschooler. It takes a change of belief and behavior on the part of the parent. I bet you can do it, and we can help! :-)

Here are some ways unschooling can be described after the fact:
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum
but to get to the point where the learning is happening in those ways, these might help:

http://sandradodd.com/pam/howto

http://sandradodd.com/howto/precisely

http://sandradodd.com/checklists

Sandra

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Meredith

"Carmen" <cooki01@...> wrote:
> Is there an easy way you Unschooling Veterans can recommend on personally applying the de-schooling method to myself?
*****************

A common suggestion for deschooling is to live as though you were on vacation - a nice, relaxed vacation, with no agenda, but not a dull holiday. Do fun things for the fun of it, relax and take it easy, spend time snuggling and playing and reconnecting with your child.

For some people, it can also be helpful to think and learn about learning, itself - because natural learning doesn't look much like education, it looks a lot like people living their lives. Here's a good place to start with that:
http://sandradodd.com/connections/

>>I would feel so much at ease if I could follow some type of unschooling curriculum.
*************

I'd say your son already had a pretty good "unschooling curriculum" already ;) Let's see... he likes to:

<<watch cartoon videos on TV, play his DS and PS2 and get on the Computer and play games. You know the Superheroes, racing, Mario, and everthing that is a game. He likes to get on PBS Kids and Nickelodeon. In between these activities we do art, we read alot, and we talk, have conversations all the time.>>

That's a lot of different things he's doing! If he's enjoying that and isn't bored, you'll do better looking at what he does and seeing the interest, drive, and thoughtfulness he brings to those things. If it's reassuring to you, for now you can think about what he might be learning - but over time that sort of thing can get in your way because learning is more often a subtle process of making connections which swirl around and make even more connections.

> My problem is how do I use all those interests and teach him what he needs to know.
***********

You can't, no-one can - you won't know what he "needs to know" for another seventy or eighty years, when he's done needing any of it.

The good news, is that human beings love to learn, are driven to learn, and we have marvelously flexible brains which are very, very good at learning, able to make all sorts of incredible connections. There's no need to try and second-guess the future in hopes of presenting "the right material" it's totally natural for people to draw useful information and understanding out of all sorts of diverse, unlikely sources. Here's a really great description of how lots and lots of little bits of information from different sources all come together:
http://sandradodd.com/day/presidents

Here's another good story about learning, but from the opposite angle - taking a snapshot day and considering the learning going on:
http://sandradodd.com/puddle

---Meredith

Sandra Dodd

-=- My problem is how do I use all those interests and teach him what he needs to know.-=-

Ah.
No, your problem is that you think you should, need to, or can possibly teach him what he needs to know. :-)

For one thing, unschooling works without teaching.
For a bigger thing, you don't know what he needs to know.

So learn to see what he is already learning.
If you've forgotten how to learn for fun yourself, so more of that, without trying to even share it with your son, while you're getting back in practice. And that will help you see what he's learning, too.

Don't look for school-style learning. Look for real-world learning.
http://sandradodd.com/seeingit

Sandra

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Carmen Pita

Thank you Sandra.
It is true. I do have a problem.
Which I pray on
everysigleday every minute I catch myself trying to teach.
Reading alot about
unschooling is teaching me alot. I realize there is alot to be learned to
de-school myself, but I know I can do this. It is difficult but many people
have done it, and I know with effort and faith I will be able to do this also.
My focus is my son, but I have to start with me and in time things will fall
into place.
Carmen

On March 2, 2012 3:59:49 PM PST, Sandra Dodd wrote:
> -=- My problem is how do I use all those interests and teach him what he needs to know.-=-
>
> Ah.
> No, your problem is that you think you should, need to, or can possibly teach him what he needs to know. :-)
>
> For one thing, unschooling works without teaching.
> For a bigger thing, you don't know what he needs to know.
>
> So learn to see what he is already learning.
> If you've forgotten how to learn for fun yourself, so more of that, without trying to even share it with your son, while you're getting back in practice. And that will help you see what he's learning, too.
>
> Don't look for school-style learning. Look for real-world learning.
> http://sandradodd.com/seeingit
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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Sandra Dodd

-=- I know with effort and faith I will be able to do this also. My focus is my son, but I have to start with me and in time things will fall into place.-=-

Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.

-=-My focus is my son, but I have to start with me ...-=-

You don't have to, and that's very important. And if "start with me" means wait until you think you've changed to start unschooling, that won't work.

http://sandradodd.com/haveto
http://sandradodd.com/issues

Sandra