Newbie question
[email protected]
I'm sure somewhere along the line a similar question has been posted as I cannot assume I am the only newbie to unschooling. We are only 4 mnths into homeschooling after 10 yrs (including preschool) of public schooling. We discover unschooling "by accident" our second day o homeschooling. A bought curriculum brought about the comment: "If THIS is homeschooling, send me back to school to deal with the bullies. This is beyon boring." So began our journey.
Thus begins my question. My oldest is almost 13, my youngest almost 4. We LOVE our days, how our family has grown together bc of unschooling in the past 120 days, and everything about how things in our deschooling is running. We visit museums, have an entire floor of our house dedicated to activities strewn about with wonderful. Natural light from 5 skylights-art, computers, reading, science, math, strategy games, roll play with Barbies and animals, dress up, mirrors, etc. In none of that do I feel insecure.
What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again. How have others, who have entered the unschooling world later in (pubic) life, handled this feeling, knowing they are doing what's best for their child?
This spark visits in glimmers and I accept it comes and goes but I sometimes worry because we are so isolated from the rest of the world. She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.
Any advice to a newbie on where to meet other unschoolers? We're in Fairfield Cnty, CT. I met Sandra during her talk in Redding. (LOVE the book, btw.) It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone else. Where do I find similar mindsets?
I appreciate the advice and insight from those who have traveled down this road before me.
Mary
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Thus begins my question. My oldest is almost 13, my youngest almost 4. We LOVE our days, how our family has grown together bc of unschooling in the past 120 days, and everything about how things in our deschooling is running. We visit museums, have an entire floor of our house dedicated to activities strewn about with wonderful. Natural light from 5 skylights-art, computers, reading, science, math, strategy games, roll play with Barbies and animals, dress up, mirrors, etc. In none of that do I feel insecure.
What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again. How have others, who have entered the unschooling world later in (pubic) life, handled this feeling, knowing they are doing what's best for their child?
This spark visits in glimmers and I accept it comes and goes but I sometimes worry because we are so isolated from the rest of the world. She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.
Any advice to a newbie on where to meet other unschoolers? We're in Fairfield Cnty, CT. I met Sandra during her talk in Redding. (LOVE the book, btw.) It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone else. Where do I find similar mindsets?
I appreciate the advice and insight from those who have traveled down this road before me.
Mary
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Sandra Dodd
-=- We are only 4 mnths into homeschooling after 10 yrs (including preschool) of public schooling. -=-
A month per year for each child (assuming the parents are not panicking and going back to schoolish means and pressures), and on top of all that, outside of that, but crucial--a month per year-of-school for the parent. It always takes parents longer.
-=-What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again.-=-
Assume "never." What then?
Was it already gone while she was in school?
-=-It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone else. Where do I find similar mindsets? -=-
Others who were there? :-)
I hope you don't mean to say you already felt like you knew everything that was in the book. Maybe you meant to say you liked the tone of it. That would be good! I got another compliment from one of the talks in Pennsylvania, that I was saying simple things in plain words, and yet I wasn't trying to sell something. (Not counting the book, which I'm pretty bad at asking people to buy. And I was saying these things for many years before there was any book involved.)
-=- My oldest is almost 13, my youngest almost 4. We LOVE our days, how our family has grown together bc of unschooling in the past 120 days, and everything about how things in our deschooling is running. -=-
I don't understand why you would feel insecure, if things are going well. That's called "buying trouble." Don't. You're going to museums and playing and your daughter (at home) "is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical." Let another six months of peace pass, during which you as mom (without talking about it to the kids much) keep thinking about your own childhood experiences and little hurts, so that you can put warning signs in your mind by those kinds of things and not pass them on. By doing that, you begin to heal your own childhood sorrows to be a better unschooling mom (and happier person within yourself)!
Sandra
A month per year for each child (assuming the parents are not panicking and going back to schoolish means and pressures), and on top of all that, outside of that, but crucial--a month per year-of-school for the parent. It always takes parents longer.
-=-What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again.-=-
Assume "never." What then?
Was it already gone while she was in school?
-=-It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone else. Where do I find similar mindsets? -=-
Others who were there? :-)
I hope you don't mean to say you already felt like you knew everything that was in the book. Maybe you meant to say you liked the tone of it. That would be good! I got another compliment from one of the talks in Pennsylvania, that I was saying simple things in plain words, and yet I wasn't trying to sell something. (Not counting the book, which I'm pretty bad at asking people to buy. And I was saying these things for many years before there was any book involved.)
-=- My oldest is almost 13, my youngest almost 4. We LOVE our days, how our family has grown together bc of unschooling in the past 120 days, and everything about how things in our deschooling is running. -=-
I don't understand why you would feel insecure, if things are going well. That's called "buying trouble." Don't. You're going to museums and playing and your daughter (at home) "is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical." Let another six months of peace pass, during which you as mom (without talking about it to the kids much) keep thinking about your own childhood experiences and little hurts, so that you can put warning signs in your mind by those kinds of things and not pass them on. By doing that, you begin to heal your own childhood sorrows to be a better unschooling mom (and happier person within yourself)!
Sandra
Tina Tarbutton
Finding Unschoolers in real day to day life is difficult in some
areas. In this area I know of 1 family who does child led learning,
but aren't lifestyle (radical) unschoolers. The rest fall somewhere
between eclectic and school-at-home. Draven has been able to meet a
dozen or more unschoolers through the unschool gaming list (I can dig
out the information if you're interested). If your daughter is at all
into Xbox live or other online games than this is a great resource.
As for me, I meet other unschoolers online and hope to eventually make
it to a conference.
I wasn't a shy child, however due to bullying in school I had severe
social phobia. I didn't leave my house for a few years unless I was
with one very trusted friend, and even then being in public was hard.
Finding friends online was my main social outlet. Too bad we didn't
have facebook back then. If it makes you feel any better, as an adult
(12 years after graduating) I am a very social adult and may even be
running a program abut unschooling at my library. I still have
twinges of my anxiety occasionally, but through time I've been able to
overcome them.
Tina
areas. In this area I know of 1 family who does child led learning,
but aren't lifestyle (radical) unschoolers. The rest fall somewhere
between eclectic and school-at-home. Draven has been able to meet a
dozen or more unschoolers through the unschool gaming list (I can dig
out the information if you're interested). If your daughter is at all
into Xbox live or other online games than this is a great resource.
As for me, I meet other unschoolers online and hope to eventually make
it to a conference.
I wasn't a shy child, however due to bullying in school I had severe
social phobia. I didn't leave my house for a few years unless I was
with one very trusted friend, and even then being in public was hard.
Finding friends online was my main social outlet. Too bad we didn't
have facebook back then. If it makes you feel any better, as an adult
(12 years after graduating) I am a very social adult and may even be
running a program abut unschooling at my library. I still have
twinges of my anxiety occasionally, but through time I've been able to
overcome them.
Tina
On Wed, Mar 2, 2011 at 2:22 PM, <sinlessconfections@...> wrote:
> What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again. How have others, who have entered the unschooling world later in (pubic) life, handled this feeling, knowing they are doing what's best for their child?
>
> This spark visits in glimmers and I accept it comes and goes but I sometimes worry because we are so isolated from the rest of the world. She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.
aldq75
When we moved cross country, I did a google search for homeschoolers/unschoolers in my area, plus moms groups because some of my kids were still very young. I found a few Yahoo groups and LLL. It didn't take long to make a few contacts that knew of more lists/groups. We met other unschoolers at potlucks, beach days and park days that were posted on the groups. After two years in our current home, our calendar is full most weeks :)
Specific to New England, there's a Northeast Unschooling Conference in Wakefield, MA in August:
http://www.NortheastUnschoolingConference.com/
The NEUC also has a Yahoo group.
There's a New England Unschooling Yahoo Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewEnglandUnschooling/
There's an Unschoolers Unlimited group organized by Luz Shosie and based in Guilford, CT.
http://unschoolersunlimited.blogspot.com/
Andrea Q
Specific to New England, there's a Northeast Unschooling Conference in Wakefield, MA in August:
http://www.NortheastUnschoolingConference.com/
The NEUC also has a Yahoo group.
There's a New England Unschooling Yahoo Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewEnglandUnschooling/
There's an Unschoolers Unlimited group organized by Luz Shosie and based in Guilford, CT.
http://unschoolersunlimited.blogspot.com/
Andrea Q
--- In [email protected], sinlessconfections@... wrote:
>
> I'm sure somewhere along the line a similar question has been posted as I cannot assume I am the only newbie to unschooling. We are only 4 mnths into homeschooling after 10 yrs (including preschool) of public schooling. We discover unschooling "by accident" our second day o homeschooling. A bought curriculum brought about the comment: "If THIS is homeschooling, send me back to school to deal with the bullies. This is beyon boring." So began our journey.
> Thus begins my question. My oldest is almost 13, my youngest almost 4. We LOVE our days, how our family has grown together bc of unschooling in the past 120 days, and everything about how things in our deschooling is running. We visit museums, have an entire floor of our house dedicated to activities strewn about with wonderful. Natural light from 5 skylights-art, computers, reading, science, math, strategy games, roll play with Barbies and animals, dress up, mirrors, etc. In none of that do I feel insecure.
>
> What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again. How have others, who have entered the unschooling world later in (pubic) life, handled this feeling, knowing they are doing what's best for their child?
>
> This spark visits in glimmers and I accept it comes and goes but I sometimes worry because we are so isolated from the rest of the world. She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.
>
> Any advice to a newbie on where to meet other unschoolers? We're in Fairfield Cnty, CT. I met Sandra during her talk in Redding. (LOVE the book, btw.) It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone else. Where do I find similar mindsets?
>
> I appreciate the advice and insight from those who have traveled down this road before me.
>
> Mary
> Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
>
chris ester
Have you looked at the list of unschool groups that Sandra has on the group
site? I found a couple that are local to my area, one of which I am already
familiar with. I also googled unschool, my state and yahoo and found some
groups that at least say that they are unschool.
Many local groups provide social activities like game days in the library or
park days.
Chris
site? I found a couple that are local to my area, one of which I am already
familiar with. I also googled unschool, my state and yahoo and found some
groups that at least say that they are unschool.
Many local groups provide social activities like game days in the library or
park days.
Chris
On Wed, Mar 2, 2011 at 2:22 PM, <sinlessconfections@...> wrote:
>
> >>>Any advice to a newbie on where to meet other unschoolers? We're in
> Fairfield Cnty, CT. I met Sandra during her talk in Redding. (LOVE the book,
> btw.) It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone
> else. Where do I find similar mindsets?<<<<
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Have you looked at the list of unschool groups that Sandra has on the group
site? -=-
http://sandradodd.com/world
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
site? -=-
http://sandradodd.com/world
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In regards to your book, reading your view on parenting is what is so much like mine. I have never met anyone else who believes their child can make choices and decisions that are in their own personal best interest. For example, my daughters have both been picking out their clothes since they were about a year old. Unless their choice was seriously a danger to their health (shorts/tshirt in -10 weather) I let them go with what they chose. The belief that I am raising to-be adults seems foreign to many around me. Your book makes me smile. :)
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2011 13:10:10
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
-=- We are only 4 mnths into homeschooling after 10 yrs (including preschool) of public schooling. -=-
A month per year for each child (assuming the parents are not panicking and going back to schoolish means and pressures), and on top of all that, outside of that, but crucial--a month per year-of-school for the parent. It always takes parents longer.
-=-What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again.-=-
Assume "never." What then?
Was it already gone while she was in school?
-=-It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone else. Where do I find similar mindsets? -=-
Others who were there? :-)
I hope you don't mean to say you already felt like you knew everything that was in the book. Maybe you meant to say you liked the tone of it. That would be good! I got another compliment from one of the talks in Pennsylvania, that I was saying simple things in plain words, and yet I wasn't trying to sell something. (Not counting the book, which I'm pretty bad at asking people to buy. And I was saying these things for many years before there was any book involved.)
-=- My oldest is almost 13, my youngest almost 4. We LOVE our days, how our family has grown together bc of unschooling in the past 120 days, and everything about how things in our deschooling is running. -=-
I don't understand why you would feel insecure, if things are going well. That's called "buying trouble." Don't. You're going to museums and playing and your daughter (at home) "is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical." Let another six months of peace pass, during which you as mom (without talking about it to the kids much) keep thinking about your own childhood experiences and little hurts, so that you can put warning signs in your mind by those kinds of things and not pass them on. By doing that, you begin to heal your own childhood sorrows to be a better unschooling mom (and happier person within yourself)!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2011 13:10:10
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
-=- We are only 4 mnths into homeschooling after 10 yrs (including preschool) of public schooling. -=-
A month per year for each child (assuming the parents are not panicking and going back to schoolish means and pressures), and on top of all that, outside of that, but crucial--a month per year-of-school for the parent. It always takes parents longer.
-=-What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again.-=-
Assume "never." What then?
Was it already gone while she was in school?
-=-It's "scary" how much it's like reading my own words through someone else. Where do I find similar mindsets? -=-
Others who were there? :-)
I hope you don't mean to say you already felt like you knew everything that was in the book. Maybe you meant to say you liked the tone of it. That would be good! I got another compliment from one of the talks in Pennsylvania, that I was saying simple things in plain words, and yet I wasn't trying to sell something. (Not counting the book, which I'm pretty bad at asking people to buy. And I was saying these things for many years before there was any book involved.)
-=- My oldest is almost 13, my youngest almost 4. We LOVE our days, how our family has grown together bc of unschooling in the past 120 days, and everything about how things in our deschooling is running. -=-
I don't understand why you would feel insecure, if things are going well. That's called "buying trouble." Don't. You're going to museums and playing and your daughter (at home) "is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical." Let another six months of peace pass, during which you as mom (without talking about it to the kids much) keep thinking about your own childhood experiences and little hurts, so that you can put warning signs in your mind by those kinds of things and not pass them on. By doing that, you begin to heal your own childhood sorrows to be a better unschooling mom (and happier person within yourself)!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=I have never met anyone else who believes their child can make choices and decisions that are in their own personal best interest. -=-
Ah. You should've gone to La Leche League meetings when you had babies, maybe! That's where I met lots of people whose children were given lots of choices. That pre-dated any thought of homeschooling by several years.
So about this "sinlessconfections" e-mail address... How hard would it be to create another e-mail for this list? It does seem to divide the world of food into sin and non-sin, and that's not good for thoughts about choices. If you have a business called "sinless confections," can your children really make food choices without thought of "wrong"?
Sandra
Ah. You should've gone to La Leche League meetings when you had babies, maybe! That's where I met lots of people whose children were given lots of choices. That pre-dated any thought of homeschooling by several years.
So about this "sinlessconfections" e-mail address... How hard would it be to create another e-mail for this list? It does seem to divide the world of food into sin and non-sin, and that's not good for thoughts about choices. If you have a business called "sinless confections," can your children really make food choices without thought of "wrong"?
Sandra
[email protected]
I would have gone to LLL meetings but my milk didn't come in for 3 weeks and I had to bottle feed in order for my little one to survive. I was told that I wasn't welcome because of the need to bottle feed. :(
As for my email address, interesting viewpoint on the name. My girls and I have severe allergies to gluten and dairy (if we digest any we end up in the hospital!). Actually, I ingested something at Mary's that landed me in bed for 4 days and I was super careful (or so I thought). So, in truth, there are ome foods that ARE "sinful" for us because it can land us in the hospital. Can they choose to eat it? Sure and we have gone to the hospital after a bought of "I need to have that brownie". I actually have a business selling gluten free/dairy free products. If it makes you more comfortable, I will gladly change it. But, in real life, choices sometimes are "sinful" if they are going to land you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :).
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 08:52:36
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
-=I have never met anyone else who believes their child can make choices and decisions that are in their own personal best interest. -=-
Ah. You should've gone to La Leche League meetings when you had babies, maybe! That's where I met lots of people whose children were given lots of choices. That pre-dated any thought of homeschooling by several years.
So about this "sinlessconfections" e-mail address... How hard would it be to create another e-mail for this list? It does seem to divide the world of food into sin and non-sin, and that's not good for thoughts about choices. If you have a business called "sinless confections," can your children really make food choices without thought of "wrong"?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
As for my email address, interesting viewpoint on the name. My girls and I have severe allergies to gluten and dairy (if we digest any we end up in the hospital!). Actually, I ingested something at Mary's that landed me in bed for 4 days and I was super careful (or so I thought). So, in truth, there are ome foods that ARE "sinful" for us because it can land us in the hospital. Can they choose to eat it? Sure and we have gone to the hospital after a bought of "I need to have that brownie". I actually have a business selling gluten free/dairy free products. If it makes you more comfortable, I will gladly change it. But, in real life, choices sometimes are "sinful" if they are going to land you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :).
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 08:52:36
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
-=I have never met anyone else who believes their child can make choices and decisions that are in their own personal best interest. -=-
Ah. You should've gone to La Leche League meetings when you had babies, maybe! That's where I met lots of people whose children were given lots of choices. That pre-dated any thought of homeschooling by several years.
So about this "sinlessconfections" e-mail address... How hard would it be to create another e-mail for this list? It does seem to divide the world of food into sin and non-sin, and that's not good for thoughts about choices. If you have a business called "sinless confections," can your children really make food choices without thought of "wrong"?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- I was told that I wasn't welcome because of the need to bottle feed. :(-=-
You were told by a leader, or by someone at the hospital? (it doesn't need to be discussed here, but it might be worth considering that you shouldn't ever decide based on a single person's response to something.)
-=-But, in real life, choices sometimes are "sinful" if they are going to land you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :). -=-
"Sin" is a pretty serious concept to refer to food choices.
Sandra
You were told by a leader, or by someone at the hospital? (it doesn't need to be discussed here, but it might be worth considering that you shouldn't ever decide based on a single person's response to something.)
-=-But, in real life, choices sometimes are "sinful" if they are going to land you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :). -=-
"Sin" is a pretty serious concept to refer to food choices.
Sandra
[email protected]
To sin means to transgress. So, depending on the situation, sinning in it's true form is not a harsh word. It is just a word. It doesn't have any other intention other than the definition and what one reads into it (much like the American middle finger compared to the Chinese pinky-both fingers are just fingers but what does it mean to the person/society is what gives it meaning).
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 09:27:18
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
-=- I was told that I wasn't welcome because of the need to bottle feed. :(-=-
You were told by a leader, or by someone at the hospital? (it doesn't need to be discussed here, but it might be worth considering that you shouldn't ever decide based on a single person's response to something.)
-=-But, in real life, choices sometimes are "sinful" if they are going to land you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :). -=-
"Sin" is a pretty serious concept to refer to food choices.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 09:27:18
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
-=- I was told that I wasn't welcome because of the need to bottle feed. :(-=-
You were told by a leader, or by someone at the hospital? (it doesn't need to be discussed here, but it might be worth considering that you shouldn't ever decide based on a single person's response to something.)
-=-But, in real life, choices sometimes are "sinful" if they are going to land you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :). -=-
"Sin" is a pretty serious concept to refer to food choices.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Mar 3, 2011, at 11:40 AM, sinlessconfections@... wrote:
particularly important.
In that light, an awareness of how people are likely to interpret a
word is what's most helpful to clarity. In most people's minds sin has
a negative connotation. And that's what people will think of when they
read the word. They're not likely to run to the dictionary looking for
a positive definition just because someone wants them to ;-)
The dictionary I checked on line has two negative definitions before
one that sounds more like what I think you want it to mean (maybe
"eating without greatly regretful consequences"?).
an idea from one person's head as cleanly as possible into another
person's head, the more awareness they have of how someone else will
interpret the words -- and what kinds of baggage the words might carry
for others -- the more successful they'll be. If the goal is for
someone to think clearly about an idea then more precise words and
fewer ambiguous words moves in that direction.
Sandra has a good page on clear words:
http://sandradodd.com/teaching/
Joyce
> To sin means to transgress.Well, you've joined a list where the words members use and clarity are
particularly important.
In that light, an awareness of how people are likely to interpret a
word is what's most helpful to clarity. In most people's minds sin has
a negative connotation. And that's what people will think of when they
read the word. They're not likely to run to the dictionary looking for
a positive definition just because someone wants them to ;-)
The dictionary I checked on line has two negative definitions before
one that sounds more like what I think you want it to mean (maybe
"eating without greatly regretful consequences"?).
> 1. transgression of divine law: the sin of Adam.People can use words however they wish. But if the goal is to transfer
> 2. any act regarded as such a transgression, especially a willfulor
> deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.
> 3. any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse,etc.;
> great fault or offense: It's a sin to waste time.
an idea from one person's head as cleanly as possible into another
person's head, the more awareness they have of how someone else will
interpret the words -- and what kinds of baggage the words might carry
for others -- the more successful they'll be. If the goal is for
someone to think clearly about an idea then more precise words and
fewer ambiguous words moves in that direction.
Sandra has a good page on clear words:
http://sandradodd.com/teaching/
Joyce
[email protected]
Joyce,
You were right in my view of the word and what is meant by it. I suppose we all come to interpreting all words by our own experiences and having a sensitivity for how others will interpret/feel those words is important. I will look into how to change my email acct name. :)
For me, sin isn't a word which conjures up hurt or evil doing or control over others but I can see how others can think/feel that.
I find it interesting (and exciting) to find others who think through such things.
So, if in the same vein of words being interpreted through one's own experiences, when someone mentions unschooling to either public schooled people or other homeschoolers (curriculum based through eclectic) how do you think/feel they interpret what unschooling means? Doesn't "un" (meaning not) in itself imply that the word schooling (or the act of schooling) is in all actuality against learning since people tend to correlate school to learning?
Being very wet behind the ears here and greener than green I hope no one finds my post offensive. I am truly just searching for answers to questions I ask myself.
Mary
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2011 13:16:57
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
You were right in my view of the word and what is meant by it. I suppose we all come to interpreting all words by our own experiences and having a sensitivity for how others will interpret/feel those words is important. I will look into how to change my email acct name. :)
For me, sin isn't a word which conjures up hurt or evil doing or control over others but I can see how others can think/feel that.
I find it interesting (and exciting) to find others who think through such things.
So, if in the same vein of words being interpreted through one's own experiences, when someone mentions unschooling to either public schooled people or other homeschoolers (curriculum based through eclectic) how do you think/feel they interpret what unschooling means? Doesn't "un" (meaning not) in itself imply that the word schooling (or the act of schooling) is in all actuality against learning since people tend to correlate school to learning?
Being very wet behind the ears here and greener than green I hope no one finds my post offensive. I am truly just searching for answers to questions I ask myself.
Mary
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2011 13:16:57
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
On Mar 3, 2011, at 11:40 AM, sinlessconfections@... wrote:
> To sin means to transgress.
Well, you've joined a list where the words members use and clarity are
particularly important.
In that light, an awareness of how people are likely to interpret a
word is what's most helpful to clarity. In most people's minds sin has
a negative connotation. And that's what people will think of when they
read the word. They're not likely to run to the dictionary looking for
a positive definition just because someone wants them to ;-)
The dictionary I checked on line has two negative definitions before
one that sounds more like what I think you want it to mean (maybe
"eating without greatly regretful consequences"?).
> 1. transgression of divine law: the sin of Adam.
> 2. any act regarded as such a transgression, especially a willfulor
> deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.
> 3. any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse,etc.;
> great fault or offense: It's a sin to waste time.
People can use words however they wish. But if the goal is to transfer
an idea from one person's head as cleanly as possible into another
person's head, the more awareness they have of how someone else will
interpret the words -- and what kinds of baggage the words might carry
for others -- the more successful they'll be. If the goal is for
someone to think clearly about an idea then more precise words and
fewer ambiguous words moves in that direction.
Sandra has a good page on clear words:
http://sandradodd.com/teaching/
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
Mary/sinlessconfection, I'm sorry if it's frustrating you that your suggestions are being met with "but wait..."
It's not good to join the list and blast in without reading long enough to understand more what's what and who's who. The list is nearly ten years old now, and it's never been a tentative sort of list, but began with a solid foundation from the beginning.
-=-To sin means to transgress. So, depending on the situation, sinning in it's true form is not a harsh word. It is just a word.-=-
No, that's not true.
One cannot transgress nothing at all. There need to be rules in order for there to be a transgression. One cannot trangress principles.
http://sandradodd.com/rules
Sin has to do with moral transgressions against God or society. Accidents aren't sin. Sin carries intent.
It's not a good word to use when people are trying to clarify their thoughts and beliefs about children's choices and actions.
-=- It doesn't have any other intention other than the definition and what one reads into it (much like the American middle finger compared to the Chinese pinky-both fingers are just fingers but what does it mean to the person/society is what gives it meaning). -=-
Well we're speaking English, most of us in a country founded largely by fundamentalist Christians who would risk their lives to get away from other Christians. We can't see which finger(s) you might be holding up, we can only read about which ideas you're presenting and defending.
The only right way to go on the list is toward what will help more people undertand unschooling. Other lists, other discussions, other places, other things are "right" within that context.
Sandra
It's not good to join the list and blast in without reading long enough to understand more what's what and who's who. The list is nearly ten years old now, and it's never been a tentative sort of list, but began with a solid foundation from the beginning.
-=-To sin means to transgress. So, depending on the situation, sinning in it's true form is not a harsh word. It is just a word.-=-
No, that's not true.
One cannot transgress nothing at all. There need to be rules in order for there to be a transgression. One cannot trangress principles.
http://sandradodd.com/rules
Sin has to do with moral transgressions against God or society. Accidents aren't sin. Sin carries intent.
It's not a good word to use when people are trying to clarify their thoughts and beliefs about children's choices and actions.
-=- It doesn't have any other intention other than the definition and what one reads into it (much like the American middle finger compared to the Chinese pinky-both fingers are just fingers but what does it mean to the person/society is what gives it meaning). -=-
Well we're speaking English, most of us in a country founded largely by fundamentalist Christians who would risk their lives to get away from other Christians. We can't see which finger(s) you might be holding up, we can only read about which ideas you're presenting and defending.
The only right way to go on the list is toward what will help more people undertand unschooling. Other lists, other discussions, other places, other things are "right" within that context.
Sandra
Joyce Fetteroll
On Mar 3, 2011, at 1:29 PM, sinlessconfections@... wrote:
the other person's "box of information" tied to a word is empty, I'm
not telling them anything by using the word. I might as well call it
plongreep for all they'll understand.
I don't even like homeschooling. It conjures up images of kids locked
away schooling at home. (And some are!) World Learning might be a more
encompassing term. But people at least have an idea of what someone
means when they say homeschooling even if the details they imagine
don't match what I've done with Kathryn.
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/theterm
Joyce
> when someone mentions unschooling to either public schooled peopleI rarely use the word unschooling outside of unschooling circles. If
> or other homeschoolers (curriculum based through eclectic) how do
> you think/feel they interpret what unschooling means?
the other person's "box of information" tied to a word is empty, I'm
not telling them anything by using the word. I might as well call it
plongreep for all they'll understand.
I don't even like homeschooling. It conjures up images of kids locked
away schooling at home. (And some are!) World Learning might be a more
encompassing term. But people at least have an idea of what someone
means when they say homeschooling even if the details they imagine
don't match what I've done with Kathryn.
> Doesn't "un" (meaning not) in itself imply that the word schoolingSandra has (another) good page on the word:
> (or the act of schooling) is in all actuality against learning since
> people tend to correlate school to learning?
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/theterm
Joyce
Sandra Dodd
-=-So, if in the same vein of words being interpreted through one's own experiences, when someone mentions unschooling to either public schooled people or other homeschoolers (curriculum based through eclectic) how do you think/feel they interpret what unschooling means? Doesn't "un" (meaning not) in itself imply that the word schooling (or the act of schooling) is in all actuality against learning since people tend to correlate school to learning? -=-
It seems you're saying if you don't get to use "sin" any way you want to, that we should stop using "unschooling."
Unschooling was the term for what we're doing before I was doing it. That's nearly 20 year ago (will be 20 years this spring/summer when we decided not to enroll Kirby in kindergarten and REAL 20 years in August since the time he didn't go to kindergarten).
The word "sin" is over a thousand years old. The word "unschooling" is over 30 years old. Let's not change either one of them. :-)
Suzanne Carter wrote something beautiful about the word on AOL 15 years or so ago:
[To the frequently voiced complaint that the word "unschooling" seems negative, this was written years ago and has not been bested:]
"Lots of people make this point, but I never see the negation as negative in a value-judgment sense when I use the word--to me unschooling is as positive as unchaining, unbinding, unleashing, unfolding, unfurling, unlimiting....
"All mean freedom and growth and vast possibilities to me."
Suzanne Carter
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/definition.html
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It seems you're saying if you don't get to use "sin" any way you want to, that we should stop using "unschooling."
Unschooling was the term for what we're doing before I was doing it. That's nearly 20 year ago (will be 20 years this spring/summer when we decided not to enroll Kirby in kindergarten and REAL 20 years in August since the time he didn't go to kindergarten).
The word "sin" is over a thousand years old. The word "unschooling" is over 30 years old. Let's not change either one of them. :-)
Suzanne Carter wrote something beautiful about the word on AOL 15 years or so ago:
[To the frequently voiced complaint that the word "unschooling" seems negative, this was written years ago and has not been bested:]
"Lots of people make this point, but I never see the negation as negative in a value-judgment sense when I use the word--to me unschooling is as positive as unchaining, unbinding, unleashing, unfolding, unfurling, unlimiting....
"All mean freedom and growth and vast possibilities to me."
Suzanne Carter
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/definition.html
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 3/3/2011 10:29 AM, sinlessconfections@... wrote:
burning in the everlasting fires of hell. Knowing that, doesn't it seem
kind of heavy-duty to apply to food choices?
I know you didn't join the list to have your email address analyzed, but
it is a good example of how the list works. For some people, this seems
like unreasonable nitpicking and ultra-critical and judgmental. But
there are probably people who hadn't really thought about the word "sin"
and will be more thoughtful about how they use it in the future AND
there are people reading this who are examining other words they use and
thinking more about them.
I remember what it was like to have my words examined so closely, at
first. There were lots of words that I'd use thoughtlessly and others
would call me on them. An example that I can remember was once I posted
that my kids were "just playing." People pointed out how the word "just"
is a way of minimizing the importance of something and questioned
whether I thought their play was really unimportant. After that, I
became extremely aware of the use of the word "just." I noticed how
others used it and how it really was so very often a way to discount
something or someone.
I'd write my posts and then go back through to catch any uses of the
word. If I had used it, I'd think about why and what it meant about how
I was thinking. It was an extraordinarily valuable exercise for me and
it led to much more clarity in my mind about all kinds of things (not
just about how I thought about my children's play). I still have a habit
of rereading my own posts before hitting send, and I do that with
awareness of how others will read them. Reading my own posts critically
still helps me think more clearly and become more aware of
inconsistencies or illogical thought processes or, sometimes, unhelpful
or even unkind urges I might have.
Sandra and the rest of us moderators aren't asking others to do anything
we aren't doing ourselves, and we know from personal experience how
valuable it can be. Read carefully, think about what you write. Whenever
you're feeling defensive, it is usually an opportunity for the greatest
personal growth if you can step back and take a more objective look at
yourself.
-pam
> For me, sin isn't a word which conjures up hurt or evil doing or control over others but I can see how others can think/feel that.So - do you really not know that for lots of people it conjures up
burning in the everlasting fires of hell. Knowing that, doesn't it seem
kind of heavy-duty to apply to food choices?
I know you didn't join the list to have your email address analyzed, but
it is a good example of how the list works. For some people, this seems
like unreasonable nitpicking and ultra-critical and judgmental. But
there are probably people who hadn't really thought about the word "sin"
and will be more thoughtful about how they use it in the future AND
there are people reading this who are examining other words they use and
thinking more about them.
I remember what it was like to have my words examined so closely, at
first. There were lots of words that I'd use thoughtlessly and others
would call me on them. An example that I can remember was once I posted
that my kids were "just playing." People pointed out how the word "just"
is a way of minimizing the importance of something and questioned
whether I thought their play was really unimportant. After that, I
became extremely aware of the use of the word "just." I noticed how
others used it and how it really was so very often a way to discount
something or someone.
I'd write my posts and then go back through to catch any uses of the
word. If I had used it, I'd think about why and what it meant about how
I was thinking. It was an extraordinarily valuable exercise for me and
it led to much more clarity in my mind about all kinds of things (not
just about how I thought about my children's play). I still have a habit
of rereading my own posts before hitting send, and I do that with
awareness of how others will read them. Reading my own posts critically
still helps me think more clearly and become more aware of
inconsistencies or illogical thought processes or, sometimes, unhelpful
or even unkind urges I might have.
Sandra and the rest of us moderators aren't asking others to do anything
we aren't doing ourselves, and we know from personal experience how
valuable it can be. Read carefully, think about what you write. Whenever
you're feeling defensive, it is usually an opportunity for the greatest
personal growth if you can step back and take a more objective look at
yourself.
-pam
Sandra Dodd
-=- Reading my own posts critically
still helps me think more clearly and become more aware of
inconsistencies or illogical thought processes or, sometimes, unhelpful
or even unkind urges I might have.-=-
This reminded me of something someone said once, when in a discussion like this she was asked to think carefully before she made decisions, to look at information critically. She went off in a rant about how critical thinking was something they had tried to teach her in school, and so it sounded really schoolish, and unschoolers shouldn't be doing anything schoolish.
WHAT!? Not thinking? Not using critical thinking skills?
I was told the other day that someone heard an unschooler tell other unschoolers (I don't know where) that unschoolers didn't use things like globes and maps.
WHAT!?
If any of you know ANYone suggesting that unschooling doesn't involve being thoughtful or analytical or using maps (or charts or graphs or ANY information available in the real world) feel free to send me their e-mail address and I'll ask them to just stop.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
still helps me think more clearly and become more aware of
inconsistencies or illogical thought processes or, sometimes, unhelpful
or even unkind urges I might have.-=-
This reminded me of something someone said once, when in a discussion like this she was asked to think carefully before she made decisions, to look at information critically. She went off in a rant about how critical thinking was something they had tried to teach her in school, and so it sounded really schoolish, and unschoolers shouldn't be doing anything schoolish.
WHAT!? Not thinking? Not using critical thinking skills?
I was told the other day that someone heard an unschooler tell other unschoolers (I don't know where) that unschoolers didn't use things like globes and maps.
WHAT!?
If any of you know ANYone suggesting that unschooling doesn't involve being thoughtful or analytical or using maps (or charts or graphs or ANY information available in the real world) feel free to send me their e-mail address and I'll ask them to just stop.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***But, in real life, choices sometimes are "sinful" if they are going to land
you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :).***
Choosing between eating something and getting sick or eating a religiously
forbidden food isn't the same thing. Sin is a moral choice. Have you seen the
movie "Chocolate"? It is ALL about that!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
you in the hospital. Just food for thought. :).***
Choosing between eating something and getting sick or eating a religiously
forbidden food isn't the same thing. Sin is a moral choice. Have you seen the
movie "Chocolate"? It is ALL about that!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb Lewis
***What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again.***
If she's playing games, messing around on the computer, hanging out with you, etc., then she *is* learning. Every time she decides to do any of those things she's obviously curious, obviously "sparked." <g> She wouldn't be doing them if she wasn't interested.
"Research" means finding out more about something you're interested in. Every time she plays a game she's finding out more about that game and about herself. Every time she does *anything* she's finding out more. Children are natural researchers.
Are you waiting for her to do something that looks like school? Are you waiting for her to wonder about mirror symmetry and start reading Brian Greene? Maybe that will never happen. If it doesn't she'll still be ok.
***She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.***
The bullying she experienced might not be the reason she's not comfortable in social situations. Her more withdrawn, quiet personality might have made her an easy target for bullying. She might be more of an introvert. Some very brilliant and successful people are introverts. It's ok to not love and crave the company of others.
If she's not enjoying social situations then avoid those as much as she wants and find other things to do. There's walking and hiking and driving and snowshoeing and cross country skiing and croquet or badminton or bocce in your own back yard. There's Netflix and movie rentals and Chinese take-out and pizza delivery. And if she wants to go to the museum, go on a day that's less busy. Take a cooler full of food and drinks so you can escape to the quiet and relative privacy of the car if she needs a break. When you go out to eat, go during the off hours, go to dark and quiet places. When you go to movies, go to the matinee, or to the midnight show when fewer people will be there. Help her be comfortable.
But twelve is too early to decide she's any particular thing. Puberty can make a person feel very awkward and in a few years she might feel differently. Don't be tempted to pin her with a label. It's hard to be twelve/thirteen. And she's freshly out of school. School is so different from the real world that it takes awhile to feel easy with having time and choices. Think of it as if she were recovering from a long illness. Let her take things slowly. Be glad for all her happy moments.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
If she's playing games, messing around on the computer, hanging out with you, etc., then she *is* learning. Every time she decides to do any of those things she's obviously curious, obviously "sparked." <g> She wouldn't be doing them if she wasn't interested.
"Research" means finding out more about something you're interested in. Every time she plays a game she's finding out more about that game and about herself. Every time she does *anything* she's finding out more. Children are natural researchers.
Are you waiting for her to do something that looks like school? Are you waiting for her to wonder about mirror symmetry and start reading Brian Greene? Maybe that will never happen. If it doesn't she'll still be ok.
***She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.***
The bullying she experienced might not be the reason she's not comfortable in social situations. Her more withdrawn, quiet personality might have made her an easy target for bullying. She might be more of an introvert. Some very brilliant and successful people are introverts. It's ok to not love and crave the company of others.
If she's not enjoying social situations then avoid those as much as she wants and find other things to do. There's walking and hiking and driving and snowshoeing and cross country skiing and croquet or badminton or bocce in your own back yard. There's Netflix and movie rentals and Chinese take-out and pizza delivery. And if she wants to go to the museum, go on a day that's less busy. Take a cooler full of food and drinks so you can escape to the quiet and relative privacy of the car if she needs a break. When you go out to eat, go during the off hours, go to dark and quiet places. When you go to movies, go to the matinee, or to the midnight show when fewer people will be there. Help her be comfortable.
But twelve is too early to decide she's any particular thing. Puberty can make a person feel very awkward and in a few years she might feel differently. Don't be tempted to pin her with a label. It's hard to be twelve/thirteen. And she's freshly out of school. School is so different from the real world that it takes awhile to feel easy with having time and choices. Think of it as if she were recovering from a long illness. Let her take things slowly. Be glad for all her happy moments.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Thank you for such a sensitive email. I am doing all the things you mention below, and always have since she has never been a "main stream" kiddo.
We are actually buying her an iPad tomorrow so she can explore her world at her fingertips. Liz's goal in life is to "be an anti-social author.". I laughed when she said this and told her she picked a great time to do so because JD Salinger has now passed. I love that she is true to herself and that we honor that; yet she is sad she has no friends to share her birthday with in May. That makes my heart break.
She is going to read me her journal entry about puberty, her thoughts and how she is feeling. I must go now.
Thank you for your insight and kind remarks. It is a good check-in for me.
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: "Deb Lewis" <d.lewis@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2011 08:08:17
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
***What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again.***
If she's playing games, messing around on the computer, hanging out with you, etc., then she *is* learning. Every time she decides to do any of those things she's obviously curious, obviously "sparked." <g> She wouldn't be doing them if she wasn't interested.
"Research" means finding out more about something you're interested in. Every time she plays a game she's finding out more about that game and about herself. Every time she does *anything* she's finding out more. Children are natural researchers.
Are you waiting for her to do something that looks like school? Are you waiting for her to wonder about mirror symmetry and start reading Brian Greene? Maybe that will never happen. If it doesn't she'll still be ok.
***She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.***
The bullying she experienced might not be the reason she's not comfortable in social situations. Her more withdrawn, quiet personality might have made her an easy target for bullying. She might be more of an introvert. Some very brilliant and successful people are introverts. It's ok to not love and crave the company of others.
If she's not enjoying social situations then avoid those as much as she wants and find other things to do. There's walking and hiking and driving and snowshoeing and cross country skiing and croquet or badminton or bocce in your own back yard. There's Netflix and movie rentals and Chinese take-out and pizza delivery. And if she wants to go to the museum, go on a day that's less busy. Take a cooler full of food and drinks so you can escape to the quiet and relative privacy of the car if she needs a break. When you go out to eat, go during the off hours, go to dark and quiet places. When you go to movies, go to the matinee, or to the midnight show when fewer people will be there. Help her be comfortable.
But twelve is too early to decide she's any particular thing. Puberty can make a person feel very awkward and in a few years she might feel differently. Don't be tempted to pin her with a label. It's hard to be twelve/thirteen. And she's freshly out of school. School is so different from the real world that it takes awhile to feel easy with having time and choices. Think of it as if she were recovering from a long illness. Let her take things slowly. Be glad for all her happy moments.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We are actually buying her an iPad tomorrow so she can explore her world at her fingertips. Liz's goal in life is to "be an anti-social author.". I laughed when she said this and told her she picked a great time to do so because JD Salinger has now passed. I love that she is true to herself and that we honor that; yet she is sad she has no friends to share her birthday with in May. That makes my heart break.
She is going to read me her journal entry about puberty, her thoughts and how she is feeling. I must go now.
Thank you for your insight and kind remarks. It is a good check-in for me.
Sent on the Sprint� Now Network from my BlackBerry�
-----Original Message-----
From: "Deb Lewis" <d.lewis@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2011 08:08:17
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Newbie question
***What I DO feel insecure about is when my oldest have the spark to learn and be curious and to research and explore a question again.***
If she's playing games, messing around on the computer, hanging out with you, etc., then she *is* learning. Every time she decides to do any of those things she's obviously curious, obviously "sparked." <g> She wouldn't be doing them if she wasn't interested.
"Research" means finding out more about something you're interested in. Every time she plays a game she's finding out more about that game and about herself. Every time she does *anything* she's finding out more. Children are natural researchers.
Are you waiting for her to do something that looks like school? Are you waiting for her to wonder about mirror symmetry and start reading Brian Greene? Maybe that will never happen. If it doesn't she'll still be ok.
***She is recovering from massive bullying for 10 yrs and doesn't trust others easily. She barely talks when with others-with family she is dynamic, funny, engaging and magical. With others, withdrawn, quiet and sometimes frighteningly so.***
The bullying she experienced might not be the reason she's not comfortable in social situations. Her more withdrawn, quiet personality might have made her an easy target for bullying. She might be more of an introvert. Some very brilliant and successful people are introverts. It's ok to not love and crave the company of others.
If she's not enjoying social situations then avoid those as much as she wants and find other things to do. There's walking and hiking and driving and snowshoeing and cross country skiing and croquet or badminton or bocce in your own back yard. There's Netflix and movie rentals and Chinese take-out and pizza delivery. And if she wants to go to the museum, go on a day that's less busy. Take a cooler full of food and drinks so you can escape to the quiet and relative privacy of the car if she needs a break. When you go out to eat, go during the off hours, go to dark and quiet places. When you go to movies, go to the matinee, or to the midnight show when fewer people will be there. Help her be comfortable.
But twelve is too early to decide she's any particular thing. Puberty can make a person feel very awkward and in a few years she might feel differently. Don't be tempted to pin her with a label. It's hard to be twelve/thirteen. And she's freshly out of school. School is so different from the real world that it takes awhile to feel easy with having time and choices. Think of it as if she were recovering from a long illness. Let her take things slowly. Be glad for all her happy moments.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]