jenyerxa

Hello everyone. I'm very new to yahoo and don't know any etiquette,
so tell me if I miss something. Here's my question. Am I doing
what I'm supposed to do? Am I doing too much? I want to do less,
but will I be neglectful? Here's where I'm at. We homeschooled for
3 years using a boxed cirriculum. This September I started trying
to create individual cirriculum for each child. Then I realized
that I was looking to the child to see where to go and that giving a
cirriculum was just getting in their way. Now we start our day with
chores then I give them 1 math page. We were just playing shopping
games at the grocery store, cooking, sewing, that kind of thing and
calling it math. But my husband is a little freaked that they
can't "Do Math". So now I give a worksheet a day to make him
happy. But the kids say the pages are fun. And I still do those
other things mentioned above. Then I read to them, history, fairy
tales, whatever else they ask for, or I want them to hear. During
this time we look at maps and globes or read something else that is
sparked. Then I have each kid read something, whatever they want.
I do this so I can help them with hard words while I'm fully focused
on them and not in the middle of something else. Then I have them
spend some time working on any projects they've been wanting to do.
Again, I set time aside to do only this with the kids. Then we have
lunch, and I start cleaning, checking on the animals (we have a
small hobby farm), and the kids do whatever they want. I don't know
if this is still too schooly. Am I still swimming upstream? Should
I just go about my day and stop whatever I'm doing when they come to
me? And whatever I don't get finished that day wasn't important
enough to worry about and it'll get done later? It's nagging at me
that 1/2 the kids day is involved with, "I have them..." Is that
the clue here? Stop "having them..." and just enjoy "...with
them." I'm eager to hear your experience and opinions. -Jen

Sandra Dodd

I'm going to respond in a swirly but detailed way.

The only real advice I have yahoo-wise is to break your writing into
paragraphs. More people will read it.

-=-Here's my question. Am I doing
what I'm supposed to do? Am I doing too much? I want to do less,
but will I be neglectful? -=-

The answer to all of that is "It depends. It depends what you want
to do and why. Neglectful is in the eye of the neglected. If you
got to the point you were doing too little for your children, then it
might be worth considering.

-=-It's nagging at me that 1/2 the kids day is involved with, "I
have them..." Is that the clue here? Stop "having them..." and just
enjoy "...with them." -=-

It's one big clue.

Avoid the word "just" as in "just enjoy." There's more to
unschooling than "just" anything. Enjoy a busy, happy, amusing,
joyful, musical, artsy life with them. They'll start learning like
crazy at some point a few months after you stop doing anything like
school. It won't look like school, though. It will look like life
on a good day.

-=-Now we start our day with

chores then I give them 1 math page. We were just playing shopping
games at the grocery store, cooking, sewing, that kind of thing and
calling it math.-=-

I recommend dropping three things from that list:

--giving them chores

--math pages

--calling anything "math"



http://sandradodd.com/subjects

http://sandradodd.com/chores

http://sandradodd.com/math

That's a lot of reading, but it would help you, I'm pretty sure.

-=-I don't know if this is still too schooly.-=-

Yes.

-=-Am I still swimming upstream?-=-

If you're trying to get to unschooling, you're on the whole wrong river.

-=- Should I just go about my day and stop whatever I'm doing when
they come to me? -=-

Not for the first few years. When they're older you'll be able to do
that, and occasionally, but mostly find things to do together.

http://sandradodd.com/nest

Pam Sorooshian described it better than I can so that's on that nest
link.



Sandra



















Here's where I'm at. We homeschooled for
3 years using a boxed cirriculum. This September I started trying
to create individual cirriculum for each child. Then I realized
that I was looking to the child to see where to go and that giving a
cirriculum was just getting in their way. Now we start our day with
chores then I give them 1 math page. We were just playing shopping
games at the grocery store, cooking, sewing, that kind of thing and
calling it math. But my husband is a little freaked that they
can't "Do Math". So now I give a worksheet a day to make him
happy. But the kids say the pages are fun. And I still do those
other things mentioned above. Then I read to them, history, fairy
tales, whatever else they ask for, or I want them to hear. During
this time we look at maps and globes or read something else that is
sparked. Then I have each kid read something, whatever they want.
I do this so I can help them with hard words while I'm fully focused
on them and not in the middle of something else. Then I have them
spend some time working on any projects they've been wanting to do.
Again, I set time aside to do only this with the kids. Then we have
lunch, and I start cleaning, checking on the animals (we have a
small hobby farm), and the kids do whatever they want. I don't know
if this is still too schooly. Am I still swimming upstream? Should
I just go about my day and stop whatever I'm doing when they come to
me? And whatever I don't get finished that day wasn't important
enough to worry about and it'll get done later? I'm eager to hear
your experience and opinions. -Jen-=-


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jenyerxa

Wow. This week, when we went shopping, the clerk asked the kids if
there was no school today. I told her we homeschool, and she didn't
understand. She kept asking when do they start? I feel just as
clueless right now as she seemed to me then.

Please be patient with me. I learn best if I can hear then repeat
back, then be redirected. So thank you in advance.

I went to the sights you recommended, and will go back more. It's a
lot to digest. Yes, I want to be on the Unschooling River. But
that school thinking is insidious! I have been trying to unschool
using school parts. Deep in my intuition, what I see as unschooling
is so beautiful. Yet it's hard to let go.

Have you ever read the Earth's Children series by Jean Auel? What I
picture for my family, when I think of unschooling, is living like
the people in pre-history. That is, being together, doing the basic
housekeeping to survive together, sharing the joys of discovery,
making things together, rejoycing when someone excells at something
unexpected. Living simply, loving, playing, and lots of good food.

Is that it? I think I can do that, I know I can. But lots of
sloughing is necessary.:)

-Jen

Sandra Dodd

-=-Yes, I want to be on the Unschooling River. But
that school thinking is insidious! -=-



http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

(you've probably seen that, but maybe look again every week or two at
the beginning)



-=That is, being together, doing the basic

housekeeping to survive together, sharing the joys of discovery,
making things together, rejoycing when someone excells at something
unexpected. Living simply, loving, playing, and lots of good food.-=-



Do you have an obsession with chores? Just asking. Try not to freak
out when you see this stuff:



http://sandradodd.com/chores



Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

tracyliebmann

Unschooling is life without expectations :-)





--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-Yes, I want to be on the Unschooling River. But
> that school thinking is insidious! -=-
>
>
>
> http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
>
> (you've probably seen that, but maybe look again every week or two
at
> the beginning)
>
>
>
> -=That is, being together, doing the basic
>
> housekeeping to survive together, sharing the joys of discovery,
> making things together, rejoycing when someone excells at something
> unexpected. Living simply, loving, playing, and lots of good food.-
=-
>
>
>
> Do you have an obsession with chores? Just asking. Try not to
freak
> out when you see this stuff:
>
>
>
> http://sandradodd.com/chores
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Joyce Fetteroll

On Dec 13, 2007, at 8:33 PM, jenyerxa wrote:

> Then I read to them, history, fairy
> tales, whatever else they ask for, or I want them to hear. During
> this time we look at maps and globes or read something else that is
> sparked.

I think what you're doing is seeing what you want to get into your
kids and finding ways to do that.

Unschooling is about helping the kids reach out to what they think is
fun or intriguing.

What will help you maybe is to *not* see what you direct toward them
as learning, but what they reach out toward as learning.
Unfortunately for new unschoolers, what kids often reach out toward
doesn't resemble school at all ;-) If they're interested, reaching
out to TV and video games is as learningful as reaching out to maps
and globes.

Unschooling is less about "important information" and lots more about
figuring things out. By playing and exploring what interests them,
they figure out who they are and they figure out how the world works.
It's much more learningful to figure things out than it is to be
handed the information. (Though of course when they ask questions,
that's reaching out too, and we answer.)

They even figure out math by using it as a tool to explore their
interests. There's more meaningful math in video games and guides
than in a 4th grade math book. Kids *use* math to extract meaning
from what they're doing and in the process learn -- as a side effect
-- how numbers work.

> Should
> I just go about my day and stop whatever I'm doing when they come to
> me? And whatever I don't get finished that day wasn't important
> enough to worry about and it'll get done later?
>
You can invite them along with your day. Ask if they'd like to help.
(And accept no as an answer.) You can be with them, close enough to
know what is fascinating them and be able to pick up enough to help
them explore and have conversations.

> It's nagging at me
> that 1/2 the kids day is involved with, "I have them..." Is that
> the clue here? Stop "having them..." and just enjoy "...with
> them."
>

That's a pretty good direction to head :-)

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Dec 14, 2007, at 2:19 PM, jenyerxa wrote:

> Have you ever read the Earth's Children series by Jean Auel? What I
> picture for my family, when I think of unschooling, is living like
> the people in pre-history. That is, being together, doing the basic
> housekeeping to survive together, sharing the joys of discovery,
> making things together, rejoycing when someone excells at something
> unexpected. Living simply, loving, playing, and lots of good food.

It's a pretty vision and if that's what you want to do, you should :-)

*But* give your children the freedom to create the worlds *they*
envision.

What if they want to bring Oreos and video games and metal music and
black nail polish and South Park into their worlds?

Share the joys of discovering their world as you share your world
with them :-)

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]