"If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
Diana Jenner requested discussions because of a talk she would like to give in 2007 (which might have passed when you read this, or else you're early!), and those are (if they still are) at the
Someone in an exchange had written
I don't think anybody in the family needs to bend over backwards to make anybody else happy. Not possible, not fair even if it were.I responded:
I think the mom needs to bend over backwards.LauraB added this:
I have tried this past year to really quit acting so grumpy about everyday things such as laundry and emtpying the dishwasher. To look at it as something I want to do to help my family function smoother and help myself feel better about things. For the past two mornings my 4 year old got up and made me breakfast on his own. Yesterday he heard me talking to my mother on the phone and I mentioned that my foot was really hurting and i was having a hard time just getting the dishwasher empty. Next thing I knew he was in there doing it for me. I offered to help him finish but he said "no, I got it". At four as you can imagine he had to climb up on the counter to put it all away.
Meredith, on facebook, December 2012:
Expecting human relationships - of any kind - to be fair and equitable is a set-up for cynicism and disappointment in the human race. Human beings are marvelously varied in their needs and capabilities. It helps a whole lot to think in terms of needs and capabilities rather than rights or fairness or equality. What more can you do to support the people you love - including yourself? Kindness, grace, and generosity go a lot furthur toward creating warm relationships and a joyfully harmonious home than measuring out equality.