"Too Much"
Below are responses to a post from someone with a two-year-old concerned about such things as this:
Another question is about giving freedom in things that may cause permanent damage - like eating only sweets for a month and damage teeth without possibility to restore. Or play computer games for several months non-stop and damage eye sight without possibility to recover.Sarah Dickinson:
Of course a person can continue to live with these damages but the quality of life, the fullness, the freedom is so much compromised.
My optician told me that my eyesight (I'm long sighted) was probably made worse by reading a lot (hours and hours a day) as a child before I realised I needed glasses, and so straining my eyes. An earlier eye test might have been a good idea but I wouldn't have given up all those hours of reading, even if a lifetime of perfect sight was on offer. Balance wasn't a priority even with the benefit of hindsight.Equally today I made lunch with two perfect avocados today. Then my husband had to go out suddenly, so I ate 1.5 avocados all on my own. Perfect avocados are too rare to waste.
So I'm very full and wearing glasses, but I'm happy with my choices.
Some people ride bicycles a lot. Graham Dusseldorp rides his because that's the way people get around where he lives, but I know others are riding them who don't "have to." Ben Lovejoy. Carl Fetteroll. They ride them a long way, just to turn around and come back home again. I think they're riding them too much. Carl had an accident and was hurt. Bicycles are dangerous. When Carl visits us, he goes to a gym and does spin classes. I think he's an addict.It's a good thing I'm not in charge of telling them how to balance their lives.
In the past three weeks I've been to two car boot sales and a flea market. Some people would say that's too much. Why should I listen to what other people say about that, though? Why would someone criticize that? I was learning about the local culture, finding MANY "trivial" connections, and finding souvenirs and gifts of the countries I'm visiting for my family at home.
I did criticize too much drinking the other day, though. I think there can be too much parental intoxication, and I do think that can prevent safety and harm relationships. I don't think there should be a big balance between being a dangerous, impaired parent and a safe, present one.
In the past three weeks I've been to two car boot sales and a flea market. Some people would say that's too much.My husband and I were just talking about "too much" the other day. We both find it fascinating that if someone is passionate about something, and does a lot of whatever it is, there is often someone else (several someones, sometimes) who will start using words like "obsession" and/or saying "that's too much" or "you need to do other things too" or "where is the balance??"Passion, enthusiasm; real true, big enjoyment… they seem to make some people nervous, and though I don't *quite* get why, I would guess that at least sometimes, it has to do with those people not wanting their own lack of enthusiasm and lack of passion to point to them as anything Less Than—like if we are all neutral and moderate and even-keeled about things, no one will look or feel bad for their lack of enthusiasm and passion.
I am quite pleased that everyone in our little family feels quite free to be enthusiastic, passionate, and extremely into whatever we're into at the moment. All things Star Trek, cemetery exploration, birding, keeping track of the Yankees, Minecraft, and photography are things that right now are taking up most of our time. I don't think we're obsessed and I don't think we need to be more well-rounded and find "moderation." I think we're happy and having fun and learning, and that to me is all good.
I've been thinking about that saying "All things in moderation." Next time someone says it to me, I think I might just ask them: "Do you mean we should have joy in moderation? Should we have peace in moderation? Kindness in moderation? Patience in moderation? Forgiveness? Compassion? Humility?" Honestly, I used to think it sounded like a very wise and balanced philosophy. Now, the more I think about it the less sense it makes.
