Rude Feedback

I didn't save it all; maybe I should've. It's not fair to put up the positive feedback without the negative, and this page is for long or particularly rude feedback. Some is also here.

Annie Ryan:
Sandra Dodd I just want to let you know that I'm leaving the group (I feel like you should know that first). Please be aware that as someone that was raised all 12 years of "school" unschooled, and am now unschooling my own children, I've never met someone as unkind, self-focused, and defensive as you. While I love all the other dear ladies on this page you do not emulate anything that I wish to imitate in my own life, and therefore no longer wish to listen to your opinions on anything. You may feel that you, "have a website" and other works full of knowledge, but you lack kindness, which is something I look for first with anyone. Please feel free to copy and paste this with one of your snarky responses. I'm sure those in the group that benefit from you wisdom will appreciate it. In the meantime, I hope that one day you realize how unkind, aggressive, and self conceited you come off as (as I'm sure you don't see it that way). Best wishes in your endeavors to promote your works, I am glad that others seem to find them helpful.
I didn't respond there, just deleted it. If she wanted me to know, it could have been in a private message instead of public.

She "loves" everyone else in the group, but I'm all kinds of terrible.

original, about six comments down, when it was there

Marys Rainbow:
I have read this thread over and over and still fail to see how I am the one treating you and Deb Lewis and others crappily. I was merely annoyed at you for only acknowledging me by
1- saying 'if all is good then there is nothing to discuss or learn' ( which i replied to and you didnt acknowledge)
2- you saying i had bad advice
3- you misquoting me and not acknowledging me again and
-4-5- u get my point... Im sorry If I just made you sad by saying hahaha i have no need for your advice but wtf?? its all i can muster...WT F-ing F?! really... and now you mock my :) and my ♥ and question the way I treat my babes...the loves of my life... Le sigh...Good day,Sandra Dodd

I read your entire website before I subscribed to the list. If all you can do is refer people to read more material – you cannot help me. If I wanted to read more about unschooling information I would buy a book. I have read everything I could get a hold of. What I need is rewording of everyday situations. I spend almost all day everyday with my children, how dare you imply that I don’t spend enough time with my children. My computer sits in the mainstream of our life and we all spend a good deal of time on it –

You know what it doesn’t matter any more I don’t need to explain myself to you. I have unsubscribed from your fucking list. I am sick of your high and mighty attitude. The controlling nature of this list is more then my unschooling mind can understand. You are closed minded and I truly hope karma smites you and yours.

My Defense:

All I was doing was asking her (again) to remove the advertisements from her sigline. Other moderators (on a different list) had asked her to, too, but I don't think she cursed them with smiting. It didn't scare me or hurt my feelings.

I wondered what book it was she would buy if she wanted to learn more about unschooling.

And I wondered how she had read my entire website. I can't even FIND all of "my entire website."

That was a curse above. I got another one in November 2017. I'll put the details on another page, but the curse part was:

I hope you lose everything you’ve tried to accomplish. You only damage people’s process in the unschooling philosophy.

You are not great. You are not a voice. And even though some will follow you, your tarnishing feedback WILL catch up to you and you will deal with those consequences.

Curses (a small collection)
and more details on this particular one at Accomplishment

Years ago (January 2004), in reaction to the UnschoolingDiscussion group, a new group was formed with much fanfare (but without a decent name). UnschoolingDiscussions was created, purposely with such a similar name that they hoped they would catch people trying to join the other. On the day I put this here, UnschoolingDiscussion has 1551 members (even though we moved to google and so had some disruption, but it also cleaned out deadwood when we moved). They have 100 members listed. There have only been two posts in 2008 (as of June 10), so I thought I should save their insulting group intro because their list probably will die out.

Sandra note: The "unparenting or anarchy" phrase is interesting, and clearly a suggestion that that's what was advocated on the other list. Any group (list, club) formed in so reactionary a way can't be healthy. It needs to have a positive, happy core and not live in the shadow of the former group.

That's why I've told unschoolers they need to turn away from school and not live in the shadow of school. If they think "school" with every thought, they might as well be in school. Move away from the school. Find strength and joy and *then* you you can have growth.

"LOL" and then saying we're rude for objecting to being laughed at

Someone came to Always Learning once to ask about whether and how kids can get into college. She had three children under eleven. She didn't like the responses. Joyce and Pam were angels to keep helping her. It's here, now: "An argument resolved"

Positive Feedback for me personally, and about the lists and the old site: Great Feedback on Unschooling Forum and List