A Curse about Accomplishments

Curses...
I've received some curses over the years. One was "I hope karma smites you and yours."

I had one last November that I had left in message requests, but last night I accidentally clicked to accept it. I have accepted the curse. :-) But I wanted to share and dissect it, like an owl pellet. Not just to dissect the curse, but to look at why Facebook, even more than other platforms before it, emboldens people to be so _______________ [in your face / rash / antagonistic.... what?]

I hope you lose everything you’ve tried to accomplish. You only damage people’s process in the unschooling philosophy.

You are not great. You are not a voice. And even though some will follow you, your tarnishing feedback WILL catch up to you and you will deal with those consequences.

The person had joined Radical Unschooling Info, given some bad advice that involved insulting the good advice that had come before, and when someone (not me) politely pointed out to her where she was, and then I asked her to hang back as she had only joined four days before, she became more adamantly insulting. Anyway. Below, I will try to neutralize the curse.

Its author has no mutual friends with me. I don't know that she has children. Her "likes" are mostly marketing sites.


-=-I hope you lose everything you’ve tried to accomplish.-=-

That's interesting, because I haven't tried to accomplish anything. I helped people who asked me about unschooling, when Kirby was little. Sometimes it was in person, and sometimes it was in writing (articles for local Albuquerque/Santa Fe parenting newsletters), and then in a homeschooling usegroup... one thing led to another. I spoke at two local parenting / homeschool conferences, and then was invited out of state. None of that was an attempted accomplishment, at all. It was just another thing, another question to answer. I don't think it can be lost.

-=-You only damage people’s process in the unschooling philosophy.-=-

Not everyone's. Maybe some. There are other places they can go to ask questions.

Some people's process might need to be "damaged" (or re-directed).
Some people's process isn't leading to any useful place.

-=-You are not great.-=-

I was a mom living in New Mexico, and never claimed to be great. I was me, and being honest. Sometimes helpful.

-=-You are not a voice.-=-

m'kay.
Sometimes I spoke and was recorded. :-) That's a little vocal.
It's an interesting idea, though, for someone who joined a discussion and then assured us all she didn't care who owned it.

-=-And even though some will follow you, your tarnishing feedback WILL catch up to you and you will deal with those consequences.-=-

I have never asked anyone to "follow me."
What I've done is tell stories of how learning was playing out with my kids—what I had seen work well, and what seemed harmful. I've collected other people's ideas and experiences, too, and made them available for free.

So I guess the curse part of it was "-=-I hope you lose everything you’ve tried to accomplish.-=-

If we had said "Good idea!" about what she wrote in the discussion, then would she have hoped I kept my accomplishments?

______________________________________

She's no longer in the group, but the discussion is still there.
Her first name's Michelle, and her first comment began
-=-Some of you are taking this ‘educational’ remark too far.-=-
Some of the other people's suggestions in the topic are fun, and surely useful to the original poster. And hers was fun, for those who like to see people teeling me I'm wrong about strewing.

Some of what she wrote in the group, though:

Some of you are taking this ‘educational’ remark too far. I loved free learning as a child but I wish I would have been exposed to things instead of always having to use my imagination. I know that stewing isn’t very unradical but it’s just trigger without expectation.

[to the original poster]...follow your guts. If you want to ‘strew’ to see if your kids will take interest in something, then don’t let some of these comments distract you (with appropriate wording and their meanings, etc) ❤️


[addressing me and Virginia Warran with tags]:

With all due respect; Your position in the group does not concern me, nor would it silence my opinion. It was not a direct disregard for anyone’s opinion. I was pointing out a distraction because she asked for a list. Not to be schooled in proper terms. And while some of the advice is great, I can, freely, disagree. How’s that for English? You can keep your condescending tone about my lack of the English language to yourself. Before I’m politically correct in your eyes, I’ll choose how to connect with fellow folks.
I didn’t realize that your opinion/ advice is the only valid one.

But please feel free to remove me from the group. Because your subtle condescendence is visible. And unacceptable.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10155338072309751/?comment_id=10155339080669751&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R%22%7D&hc_location=ufi
(needs a facebook account, but it's an open group and should be visible)


Following the discussion linked just above this, she wrote to me on messenger, three messages. The curse was the third one.

For nine months it sat in "message requests," so that she didn't even know I had seen it. On July 22, 2018, I accidentally clicked it, while looking for another note. As she was notified I had seen it, I'm saving it here.

11/09/17
So now that you’ve disabled my ability to respond, I hope you’re just as responsible to remove the posts entirely. We wouldn’t want members to think you made an example of me. Not very unschool like. 😉

← She made a bad example of herself, with several people asking her to stop.

I read this, and the next one, and didn't respond.

11/09/17
And you’re group can stop tagging me in their responses. If I can’t have a discussion and engage, I certainly won’t be talked at. Thank you.
← Facebook puts those links in automatically, when someone responds to a comment. Our group couldn't stop facebook's programming.

"I certainly won’t be talked at."
Or what?

11/22/17
I hope you lose everything you’ve tried to accomplish. You only damage people’s process in the unschooling philosophy.

You are not great. You are not a voice. And even though some will follow you, your tarnishing feedback WILL catch up to you and you will deal with those consequences.

(Nearly two weeks later, and I still didn't respond.)


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