"If you give a cat a Nintendo..."

Posted by DaikiniCrossroads ~Crystal~
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2006 at 9:46 PM

Typically when I am up late working on our blog my two cats Sampson & Legolaus, the Chihuahua Abablis, and my daughter Sorscha are hangin’ out with me. Tonight I turned to look at our cat Sampson and there he was lying on his back. Normally I would not disturb him but then a thought came to my mind. I’m kind of feisty these days….and it said, “put the video game controller on his stomach”. Once I did that my husband had walked in and we began busting up. Sampson looked so funny. I said to my husband, “Well, you know what happens when you give a CAT a Nintendo”. It was just too much for us. Especially after spending five days at the Live & Learn Conference. I came up with this parody (Well, maybe not a parody...but just a funny) of another work using links from Sandra Dodd's Radical Unschooling website. It is meant in fun and jest and to me truly confirms how idiotic the mainstream opinion about video games is. I was there once…I know! When you read it really think about how stupid this sounds and I hope you’ll see video games in a whole new light...unless you already get it. Mary and Sandra...I hope you laugh and are not disappointed in my jesting. Truly your work inspired me and on a late night like this...a gal gets a little cheekie!

If you give a CAT a Nintendo…”

Well look who we found here! Even with all the rules about that darn Nintendo, which, by the way, we never should have purchased in the first place, we caught the CAT playing during a non-designated time-slot. Yes, it's some sort of drug-induced stupor. That’s a sneaky and dishonest and really bad cat. I know he’s doing it purposefully just to make us mad. I’m going to go yell at him or hit him . That will make him change his ways. That CAT needs to conform. There will be no individuality in MY house. It is his nature to rebel against our house rules. He has better things to do with his time then play that thing! Like stuff that I approve of. Stuff that I think is educational. Stuff that he has to learn before he leaves our home which he must at 18….or at least be in college with a part-time job. There’s no benefit for that CAT to play Nintendo. None at all!!! I know everything and I especially don’t need to relearn anything new or improved.

I knew it! I told Dave, "If you give a cat a Nintendo" you know what he’s likely to do or should I say not do. He just won’t use the cat-box. He won’t eat. He won’t sleep. He won’t chase mice, birds or lizards. He won’t play with our other cat. He won’t play with us. Oh and he’ll become very violent. He does not know or understand the difference between those Nintendo cats and real cats. He’s just a stupid kitten. I must pump all my rules, morals, and life experiences in him. And I just know it, he’s gonna rip our other cats head off just to see the neck bones and blood. He’s gonna kung fu the dogs. He certainly will be up all hours of the night and day just playing it and doing nothing else. He won’t do anything but play that dang thing. Yup, he’s ruined forever. We’ll have to throw it away and forbid that CAT to play those violent video games anywhere or at anytime. That will solve the problem. We’ll just keep them from him…that’s it…I’m a genius. Yes, what a great mother I am. Now he will respect me because he knows that I know what is best for him.

Sampson the CAT caught in the act!

Crystal's cat on its back with a game controller on his belly

This is based on another article that was well known at the time of the writing: "If you give a kid a Nintendo..." which was a play on If you Give a Mouse a Cookie which was current (and not yet expanded to a series of other books) in those days.

Comment from the author of the first, to the second, at the time:

Hey Crystal, thanks for the parody! I showed it to Conor and he pointed out that the cat is actually holding a PS2 controller. That's my gamer!
And I had written:
Okay, I stole your couch (a photographic piece of it) for a background, and planted your cat here. And one link you might want to add (or not) is sandradodd.com/lizard. Seriously. You do mention lizard in your article. 🙂
She responded:
Sandra...my husband is laughing so hard at the lizard page. He says...unschooler!!!! Thanks for the link and I added it to this critter funny! ~Crystal~
(The background was lost, over the years; that's fine.)