off my game
carashank@...
Hi, was wondering if I could get a little help from the more experienced moms.
I'm a bit off my game. I was very sick for 6 weeks, and just as I was recovering, became pregnant (surprise!). Then they told me baby had died, then it was actually alive, then morning sickness kicked in, and it has been a rough several months (although simultaneously very happy, we are so happy about baby). This past week or so, I'm finally feeling better, but I think I'm in a bit of a rut and don't quite know how to pull out of it. I'm also very tired, which I think might be the state of things for the next several months, so I'm trying to figure out how to proceed.
My unschooled child is 5 (children start school this year here, so maybe I'm having a disguised wobble?), my toddler is 2. They are happy and we have had a good time watching a lot of shows and I hired some young women to come play with them a few days a week while I rest, and my husband has been very active with them, making up for some of the physical play that I have not been up to. But, as I feel better and can take a better look around, I can see that I'm not providing a great environment. It is not sparkly enough. I think it might even be a little depressing. I'm so tired that I'm not responding as actively as I normally would. I encourage more videos than I think they are actually interested in. I'm overwhelmed by mess, and still having massive food aversions, so not fun to cook with, etc.
I should mention that we had some major money problems this year and are only just recovering, so we weren't able to buy as many things as I would like them to have. Normally we would go out frequently, there are very nice parks and woods within driving distance, but we lost our car in our financial difficulties, and this pregnancy has been difficult (walking and buses are a limited option), so we aren't getting out much. We have a very small house with a square cement back yard- although I think that is actually my complaint more than theirs.
They are actually very happy and seem like they are getting their needs met, but I just don't feel like it is good enough. I'm noticing behavioral issues that make me think they aren't stimulated enough- a bit more fighting than usual, getting into things in a destructive way, for example, purposely dumping toys in order to see my reaction, or tearing up artwork angrily that they then deeply regret and are upset about. I have ordered some more craft supplies (they like painting and clay and stamps, etc, and I had run out completely) and have booked in my calendar some more homeschool meet ups, some manageable activities with considerate friends. I plan to continue with the babysitters a few afternoons a week. I think the children are short on toys, so trying to stock up a bit using re-selling websites. But does anybody remember being at this stage (or any stage where you are not at your physical/mental best)? Are there any tricks/perspective I'm missing? Thanks so much.
Sandra Dodd
Lots of times.
Kirby was five when Holly was born.
I had three, bam.
Four years after that, Keith accepted a six month contract to work in Minneapolis (very far from Albuquerque). They extended it for six months. And again. And again.
When it had been four years, I asked him not to extend. He came home for 8 days each month and we visited there a few times a year (part of the contract perqs) but still.... it was rough.
-=- Are there any tricks/perspective I'm missing? -=-
It sounds like you're doing pretty well. There are ideas here that could help, I hope.
http://sandradodd.com/youngchildren
http://sandradodd.com/toddlers
http://sandradodd.com/mentalhealth
And ask here if you need more ideas, too. Things pass. The darkest and scariest times fade, later.
If you're not already subscribed to Just Add Light, consider that, too. And poke around the blog if you need cheering up. Breathe deeply, and look at the "You might also like" links under posts.
http://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com
They're short enough that you can read one and keep on moving while you think about it.
Sandra
michelle_m29@...
>But does anybody remember being at this stage (or any stage where you are not at your physical/mental >best)? Are there any tricks/perspective I'm missing? Thanks so much.
and it kept them busy for large chunks of the next two days. That was in the middle of our month with a dry well and it wasn't messy at all. What about mixing food coloring with some water and corn starch to make sidewalk paint to use in your concrete backyard? Mircowaving ivory soap? <http://kidsactivitiesblog.com/8994/how-to-make-erupting-soap> If you've got a really good mixer make flour and water playdough and mix it until the gluten forms and you can stretch and spin it like pizza dough...maybe outside on the concrete. :-)
Sam
Sent from my iPhone
On 31 Aug 2015, at 18:09, "carashank@... [AlwaysLearning]" <[email protected]> wrote:
Hi, was wondering if I could get a little help from the more experienced moms.
I'm a bit off my game. I was very sick for 6 weeks, and just as I was recovering, became pregnant (surprise!). Then they told me baby had died, then it was actually alive, then morning sickness kicked in, and it has been a rough several months (although simultaneously very happy, we are so happy about baby). This past week or so, I'm finally feeling better, but I think I'm in a bit of a rut and don't quite know how to pull out of it. I'm also very tired, which I think might be the state of things for the next several months, so I'm trying to figure out how to proceed.
My unschooled child is 5 (children start school this year here, so maybe I'm having a disguised wobble?), my toddler is 2. They are happy and we have had a good time watching a lot of shows and I hired some young women to come play with them a few days a week while I rest, and my husband has been very active with them, making up for some of the physical play that I have not been up to. But, as I feel better and can take a better look around, I can see that I'm not providing a great environment. It is not sparkly enough. I think it might even be a little depressing. I'm so tired that I'm not responding as actively as I normally would. I encourage more videos than I think they are actually interested in. I'm overwhelmed by mess, and still having massive food aversions, so not fun to cook with, etc.
I should mention that we had some major money problems this year and are only just recovering, so we weren't able to buy as many things as I would like them to have. Normally we would go out frequently, there are very nice parks and woods within driving distance, but we lost our car in our financial difficulties, and this pregnancy has been difficult (walking and buses are a limited option), so we aren't getting out much. We have a very small house with a square cement back yard- although I think that is actually my complaint more than theirs.
They are actually very happy and seem like they are getting their needs met, but I just don't feel like it is good enough. I'm noticing behavioral issues that make me think they aren't stimulated enough- a bit more fighting than usual, getting into things in a destructive way, for example, purposely dumping toys in order to see my reaction, or tearing up artwork angrily that they then deeply regret and are upset about. I have ordered some more craft supplies (they like painting and clay and stamps, etc, and I had run out completely) and have booked in my calendar some more homeschool meet ups, some manageable activities with considerate friends. I plan to continue with the babysitters a few afternoons a week. I think the children are short on toys, so trying to stock up a bit using re-selling websites. But does anybody remember being at this stage (or any stage where you are not at your physical/mental best)? Are there any tricks/perspective I'm missing? Thanks so much.