pjlzslove

Hi there,
My name is Megan and I have 4 children ages 1,3,6,8. We live in Los Angeles and currently the 6 & 8 year old are attending private Catholic school and I work from home with my husband in real estate. I would really love to take the older ones out of school and start unschooling with them, but I'm a little nervous. In my heart I feel confident about it, but how do I leave the work force? I do enjoy what I do and my husband enjoys partnering with me in business. However, I want to be a full-time mom and I want the kids out of school. Their school is great, but I feel we are missing out on so much together...I'm looking for advice, tips, anyone else who has left the workforce? I want this so badly but I'm afraid once I get it, I'll be overwhelmed and miss my day-job! Also, tips for the husbands? Help! Thanks!

Robin Bentley

Megan, I see you just joined this group today. Have you read here:

http://sandradodd.com/lists/alwayslearningNEW

and here:
http://sandradodd.com/lists/alwayslearningPOSTS

and here:
http://sandradodd.com/lists/alwayslearning.html

and maybe here?:
http://sandradodd.com/johnholt

It's *really* important to be aware of how this list operates before
anyone else jumps in with help and you respond. You have lots of
questions; maybe slow down a bit!

BTW, this is the best place to get real, honest-to-goodness help to
unschool well!

Robin B.


On Oct 29, 2012, at 2:11 PM, pjlzslove wrote:

> Hi there,
> My name is Megan and I have 4 children ages 1,3,6,8. We live in Los
> Angeles and currently the 6 & 8 year old are attending private
> Catholic school and I work from home with my husband in real
> estate. I would really love to take the older ones out of school
> and start unschooling with them, but I'm a little nervous. In my
> heart I feel confident about it, but how do I leave the work force?
> I do enjoy what I do and my husband enjoys partnering with me in
> business. However, I want to be a full-time mom and I want the kids
> out of school. Their school is great, but I feel we are missing out
> on so much together...I'm looking for advice, tips, anyone else who
> has left the workforce? I want this so badly but I'm afraid once I
> get it, I'll be overwhelmed and miss my day-job! Also, tips for the
> husbands? Help! Thanks!
>

Joyce Fetteroll

On Oct 29, 2012, at 5:11 PM, pjlzslove wrote:

> Their school is great, but I feel we are missing out on so much together

Do the kids want to come home? What you've written is about you. Forced homeschooling is just as bad as forced schooling.

> I would really love to take the older ones out of school and start
> unschooling with them, but I'm a little nervous. In my heart I feel
> confident about it, but how do I leave the work force?

Are you asking for what's good about unschooling? Are you asking for alternative ideas of how people blended unschooling and work?

One thing that's certain is that work will be there, but each day the kids grow and change and then one day they won't be there. And the relationship you have with them for the rest of your lives is built on what you create today and all the todays they're with you.

What you're asking is really more about decision making than about unschooling. And there are ways to go about that:

The simplest is a list of pros and cons of the question "Should I quit working and start unschooling?"

Better is a list of pros and cons and then giving each a "weight", a number representing how important that thing is to you.

(A slight modification is to add an "interesting" column for things that are neither pluses or minuses.)

And then add up the columns.

Here's a good page:

http://www.businessballs.com/problemsolving.htm

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=- In my heart I feel confident about it, but how do I leave the work force? I do enjoy what I do and my husband enjoys partnering with me in business. However, I want to be a full-time mom and I want the kids out of school. Their school is great, but I feel we are missing out on so much together...I'm looking for advice, tips, anyone else who has left the workforce? I want this so badly but I'm afraid once I get it, I'll be overwhelmed and miss my day-job! Also, tips for the husbands? Help! Thanks!-=-

Joyce's response is good. This list is maintained for discussing natural learning, not for advising husbands on how to help wives decide about jobs. Sorry.

There are some resources for dads here: http://sandradodd.com/dads

As to your real estate business, you could potentially continue to do that, especially if your office is at home, by hiring someone to be with play with, feed your kids while you're showing properties or doing paperwork. If you count all the waking hours in a week, that's a LOT of learning time, and you don't need to be with the kids all the time if there's someone they like and trust who understands that you don't want them "taught" but you want them to have help to explore the world.

But if your kids aren't unhappy, don't change things.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pjlzslove

-=-As to your real estate business, you could potentially continue to do that, especially if your office is at home, by hiring someone to be with play with, feed your kids while you're showing properties or doing paperwork. If you count all the waking hours in a week, that's a LOT of learning time, and you don't need to be with the kids all the time if there's someone they like and trust who understands that you don't want them "taught" but you want them to have help to explore the world.-=-

This is a relief to read. I appreciate the honesty and true helpfulness of the replies thus far. Excuse me for jumping into a group without first reading the guidelines! I have now done so and will attempt to stay within the list parameter...always learning, right?! My kids do want to be homeschooled, they love the idea of being with me all day and discovering the world together, however they are also happy. For now I will keep reading, digesting, learning, and discussing. Joyce is right on about work always being there, but children growing up so quickly, and we cannot take the years back. I already feel like a better mother. Just a bit confused about whether or not I let the kids start without limits on media, etc now? Or just more open and receptive to their wants and ideas? Get away from "no"? I have always been a bit of a stickler on the idea of too much TV, computer, video games. This will be a very hard adjustment for me to make and accept.

Working on the pro/cons list. I do have a wonderful and very trusted helper with my children who is a natural at the unschooling approach. She is next to Saintly. I will change my alias, my name is Megan Valnes.

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=- In my heart I feel confident about it, but how do I leave the work force? I do enjoy what I do and my husband enjoys partnering with me in business. However, I want to be a full-time mom and I want the kids out of school. Their school is great, but I feel we are missing out on so much together...I'm looking for advice, tips, anyone else who has left the workforce? I want this so badly but I'm afraid once I get it, I'll be overwhelmed and miss my day-job! Also, tips for the husbands? Help! Thanks!-=-
>
> Joyce's response is good. This list is maintained for discussing natural learning, not for advising husbands on how to help wives decide about jobs. Sorry.
>
> There are some resources for dads here: http://sandradodd.com/dads
>
> As to your real estate business, you could potentially continue to do that, especially if your office is at home, by hiring someone to be with play with, feed your kids while you're showing properties or doing paperwork. If you count all the waking hours in a week, that's a LOT of learning time, and you don't need to be with the kids all the time if there's someone they like and trust who understands that you don't want them "taught" but you want them to have help to explore the world.
>
> But if your kids aren't unhappy, don't change things.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Meredith

"pjlzslove" <meganvalnes@...> wrote:
> Just a bit confused about whether or not I let the kids start without limits on media, etc now?
*************

Go slowly. Think about why you want to say no to things, what your reasons and concerns are. At the same time, think about what your kids want and why - take their desires and concerns seriously.

You may find, doing that, that a great many of your Nos and limits are more automatic than you previously realized. You may find you're saying "no" when you could say "I don't know, let me think about it". You may find you're saying "not now" when it would be sweeter and gentler to say "yes, as soon as I finish this".

If your kids are in school, then chances are they need some time each day to unwind and decompress - and watching tv or playing a video game may be a good way for them to do that. At the same time, as long as they're in school, their time Is limited - time to do what they enjoy along with time to spend with their parents. You can make that easier on them by spending time With them while they relax - don't use that time to do your own thing, use it to enjoy their company, see what they like, what interests them. Don't do it with a wrinkled nose, ready to tell them what's wrong with their interests! That won't help you know them better or improve your relationship. Find out what lights them up and makes them smile.

>>I have always been a bit of a stickler on the idea of too much TV, computer, video games.
*************

I was too, once. It was really shocking to me to discover how much of what I "thought" about all those topics wasn't really My thoughts at all - they were things "everyone" kind of parrots back and forth as though they were true, with very little real evidence to back them up. It was kind of embarrassing, especially as one of the things I "thought" about tv was that it was a big brainwashing machine.

It helps to read about unschooling kids in general and get a feel for the diversity of interests they have - they're not all zombie couch potatoes, they're busy, interesting people. Here's a good place to start:

http://sandradodd.com/typical

And collected comments and articles on video games in particular, to help you start to question all those things "everyone knows" about them:
http://sandradodd.com/videogames/
including Mary Gold's classic "if you give a kid a Nintendo"
http://sandradodd.com/game/nintendogold

---Meredith