Darcel

Hello all!

My name is Darcel. I'm a SAHM to two girls 4 and 2
I'm in VA and will be attending the HEAV conference with my husband in June.
I always said I would never homeschool my kids, then one day I woke up with it heavy on my heart. It was a hard pill for my husband to swallow. He's not completely on board either. He doesn't understand that I want unschooling to be a way of life for us. The way I see it, we've been unschooling since birth, why stop now? I read John Holt's 'Learning all the time' Loved it!

DH grew up with education pounded into his head. Go to school and learn this this and that.
He often tries to teach dd things when she is having fun on her own. Every single time she stops and finds something else to do.
I hated school and now wish I had been homeschooled. I think I would've done so much better.

Everything our girls know they taught themselves.
My oldest is in speech therapy 5 days a week for 3 hours a day. She loves riding the bus and going to "school".
When she was 3 she scored on the level of a 5 yr old for colors, numbers and letters and word recognition.
My husband said we could try homeschooling this year. She is supposed to register for Kindergarten next year. She'll be 5 in December.
He was totally against the idea at first, but now he's open to it and wants to read more and learn more about homeschooling. Whenever I say unschooling to him he gets tense, lol
I know it's because he doesn't get it yet.

I'm scared. It feels natural, but I can't completely get the school way of thinking out of my head.
We paint, color, go for walks, do puzzles and my girls have tons of play w/out me. They also like to help me cook and clean. My oldest has some Kindergarten workbooks that she got for her 3rd bday from a friend. I leave them out and she picks them up every now and then. Sometimes she asks for help and others she just browses the pages with her sister.
I feel there is more I should be doing with them. There is more I want to do with them, but finances are tight.
I guess I just need encouragement.

I know that was long and I apologize.
Thanks for reading

Darcel

Sandra Dodd

-=-I'm in VA and will be attending the HEAV conference with my husband
in June.-=-

If there won't be unschoolers there, don't go. Regular conferences
are about politics and about the sale of school-at-home materials.
Save your money for better, real-world things.

-=-When she was 3 she scored on the level of a 5 yr old for colors,
numbers and letters and word recognition.-=-

You should let that go. It's not worthy of your attention. Your
daughter would have as much ability to learn if she had scored as a
one year old at three. Colors, numbers and letters are an
infinitesimal part of the world. They're a huge part of school, which
is itself a small part of the world.

-=-Whenever I say unschooling to him he gets tense, lol
I know it's because he doesn't get it yet. -=-

Don't say it then. Say unstructured homeschooling or personalized
homeschooling.

-=-I'm scared. It feels natural, but I can't completely get the school
way of thinking out of my head.-=-

You can, but it takes desire and conscious thought and time.
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

For your husband, he might like Joyce's site better than mine. Mine
is more emotional than Joyce's (in a way). Hers is very logical in
more ways than one. It's not that mine isn't logical, it's just that
I'm not at all above using emotionally manipulative rhetoric. <bwg>
And I'm not above shining a light on other people's bad ideas. Joyce
does that too, but her light is operating room light and mine's as
likely to be a torch or a candle.

-=-I feel there is more I should be doing with them. There is more I
want to do with them, but finances are tight.-=-

http://sandradodd.com/checklists
http://sandradodd.com/youngchildren
http://sandradodd.com/toddlers

Sandra






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenny C

>>> DH grew up with education pounded into his head. Go to school and
learn this this and that.>>>

I think most of us grew up this way! It's hard to overcome that. It's
hard to get over the fact that for years, we had to do things for other
people, completely unrelated to our own selves. Then one day, you
realize that life doesn't have to be that way! It sounds like that is
where you are at, but perhaps your husband hasn't gotten there yet.


>>> He often tries to teach dd things when she is having fun on her own.
Every single time she stops and finds something else to do.>>>

Does your husband enjoy that? Would he enjoy just playing with her with
no motivation behind it other than joy and time shared together?
Perhaps he needs some gentle coaching on how to play with his kids.
Some fathers really don't know how to do that.


>>> I hated school and now wish I had been homeschooled. I think I
would've done so much better.>>>

I know what you mean! One of my good friends growing up was
homeschooled. She was able to do all the stuff that I wished I had time
for but never did because I was in school all day, then homework, then
down time from all that stress.

>>> Everything our girls know they taught themselves.>>>

Everything your girls know, they learned from living.


>>> My oldest is in speech therapy 5 days a week for 3 hours a day. She
loves riding the bus and going to "school".
> When she was 3 she scored on the level of a 5 yr old for colors,
numbers and letters and word recognition.>>>

This sounds like way too much school. Speech therapy is becoming really
popular these days. I think it's way overused for issues that resolve
themselves on their own. I don't know why your child is in speech
therapy, but, wow, 3 hrs a day, 5 days a week! That is a LOT of school,
for not even being school age.

I wouldn't hold your daughter to her score that she got at the age of 3.
Lots of kids have lots of talents, sometimes they are way ahead of
others their own age in various things and sometimes they are way
behind. OR you could see it like this; All kids are exactly where they
need to be, knowing exactly what they need to know, for who they are,
and all kids know lots of things that other kids don't.


>>> My husband said we could try homeschooling this year. She is
supposed to register for Kindergarten next year. She'll be 5 in
December.
> He was totally against the idea at first, but now he's open to it and
wants to read more and learn more about homeschooling. Whenever I say
unschooling to him he gets tense, lol
> I know it's because he doesn't get it yet. >>>

Maybe don't say unschooling to him. Maybe talk about good reasons not
to push academics on young children. There is a lot of information out
there about that, there are expensive private schools that base their
education on it! Maybe, for now, do lots of things with your kids that
are involved and interesting and engaging, keep them busy with fun
activities where your husband can see physical results of those
projects.

I did that a lot when my oldest was little because my husband didn't
really get unschooling. We did a LOT of projects and field trips. He
could see that she was creatively engaged with life and that helped him
relax and let me do what I wanted to do. He did eventually come around.
It was slow and it took many years until he "got it" to the point that
he was doing it too. That daughter is 15, and she's an awesome kid!

>>> I'm scared. It feels natural, but I can't completely get the school
way of thinking out of my head.>>>

It's always hard to buck the system! School is so integrated into
people's lives, our culture, and the way people live. As my oldest has
gotten older, so have her schooled friends. Something that my husband
and I have noticed is how parents stop really seeing their kids. By the
time they are in middle school they are so far into seeing their kids
through the lense of how well they do in school, that nothing else
really matters. As long as the kids are getting good grades the parents
and kids get along fine. Parenting is no longer about raising kids, and
helping them become wonderful people, it's ALL about making sure they
get good grades and graduate.

We have something different than that! We have real people for kids,
real people with real feelings and real likes and dislikes. Unschooling
preserves that "sight", being able to see your kids for the people that
they are.


>>> We paint, color, go for walks, do puzzles and my girls have tons of
play w/out me. They also like to help me cook and clean.>>>

It might help for you to see those activities and how and what your kids
are learning from them. Puzzles build math and spatial skills.
Cleaning builds organizational skills, detail data. Cooking can be oh
so many things. A walk in the park can be one huge discovery of
ecology, or it could be all about physical exhertion and knowledge of
how bodies work. These are just examples, small examples.

>>> My oldest has some Kindergarten workbooks that she got for her 3rd
bday from a friend. I leave them out and she picks them up every now and
then. Sometimes she asks for help and others she just browses the pages
with her sister.>>>

We always had workbooks and coloring books and the like. We have some
still from when my oldest was little, that my youngest has pulled out
and played with. They get used sometimes, and sometimes not. I've
recycled loads of them over the years. I never graded them or had any
investment in them as fill in answer type things. They were toys,
things to play around with.


>>> I feel there is more I should be doing with them. There is more I
want to do with them, but finances are tight.>>>

Enjoy the time you have with them while they are little and thrills are
cheap! There are so many things you can do with young kids that don't
cost loads of money! Sometimes I wish I was still there... the ways in
which I need to support my older daughter these days costs money, there
is no way around that! It's a fact of life that kids cost money!
Unschooling costs money, homeschooling costs money, even public school
costs money (do you even know how many fundraisers they have?)!

Sandra Dodd

-=-It might help for you to see those activities and how and what your
kids
are learning from them. Puzzles build math and spatial skills.
Cleaning builds organizational skills, detail data. Cooking can be oh
so many things. A walk in the park can be one huge discovery of
ecology, or it could be all about physical exhertion and knowledge of
how bodies work. These are just examples, small examples.-=-

Yes. Think it, share it with your husband, but don't tell the kids.
And before long you'll be trusting that learning is happening even
when you don't analyze the activities.

Sandra

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Darcel

Thank you both so much for the insight! You've given me lots to think about. DD is not enrolled in the school yet. She was supposed to start 2 weeks ago, but for some reason we haven't taken her back. I asked DH yesterday why we were putting her back in the program anyway. She keeps asking to go to school like she did back home. She went 3 days a week then. I can honestly say back then she truly needed it and has improved SO much.
Now we were thinking of putting her back in because she keeps asking to go to school.

I talked with DH more yesterday and sent him the link to Joyce's site.
Thanks again Jenny and Sandra!

Darcel


--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-It might help for you to see those activities and how and what your
> kids
> are learning from them. Puzzles build math and spatial skills.
> Cleaning builds organizational skills, detail data. Cooking can be oh
> so many things. A walk in the park can be one huge discovery of
> ecology, or it could be all about physical exhertion and knowledge of
> how bodies work. These are just examples, small examples.-=-
>
> Yes. Think it, share it with your husband, but don't tell the kids.
> And before long you'll be trusting that learning is happening even
> when you don't analyze the activities.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sandra Dodd

-=Now we were thinking of putting her back in because she keeps asking
to go to school. -=-

Some kids are appeased and satisfied with something like a dance
school, music class or art class.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenny C

> -=Now we were thinking of putting her back in because she keeps asking
> to go to school. -=-
>
> Some kids are appeased and satisfied with something like a dance
> school, music class or art class.
>


Yes this is soo true! Not only would something like an art class
provide that "school" like activity, it's not forever or high pressure.
The time commitment is more relaxed, you can skip a class if you or she
wants to, or even drop the whole thing if needed. School isn't so easy
about that sort of thing, you have to attend or be penalized.

Joanna Murphy

"HEAV conference"

I don't know what this anacronym stands for, but could there be a much worse one? I mean that would actually be used--not that I couldn't come up with plenty of terrible ones... LOL

Hmmmm, let's see, how about HURL (Homeschoolers Unite for Real Learning)
BARuF (Baltimore Association for Radical unschoolers Fun)

If anyone can come up with PUKE, let me know.

Joanna, whose been chuckling for 2 days over this one... :-)

Leah Little

There's an area outside Houston called Sugar Land. Some of those mamas were forming an Attachment Parenting group. The acronym of the first name they came up with was going to be SLAP. I got a good chuckle out of that one.

--- In [email protected], "Joanna Murphy" <ridingmom@...> wrote:
>
> "HEAV conference"
>
> I don't know what this anacronym stands for, but could there be a much worse one? I mean that would actually be used--not that I couldn't come up with plenty of terrible ones... LOL
>
> Hmmmm, let's see, how about HURL (Homeschoolers Unite for Real Learning)
> BARuF (Baltimore Association for Radical unschoolers Fun)
>
> If anyone can come up with PUKE, let me know.
>
> Joanna, whose been chuckling for 2 days over this one... :-)
>

Ren Allen

--- In [email protected], "Joanna Murphy" <ridingmom@...> wrote:
>
> "HEAV conference"
>
> I don't know what this anacronym stands for, but could there be a much worse one?


Ours isn't worse, but we use the acronym ARGH (autodidactic radical gathering of homeschoolers) for our Eastern TN campout/gathering up in the mountains.:) I just think of pirates though, not barfing actions.

Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com

Robin Bentley

>
> If anyone can come up with PUKE, let me know.
>
Peaceful Unschooling Kids Everywhere?

Punxsutawney Unschoolers Kaffeklatsch Event?

Phoenix Unschoolers Kind-hearted Education?

Pokemon Unschooling is Kool and Excellent?


Well, that was fun!

Robin B.

Sandra Dodd

-=-
There's an area outside Houston called Sugar Land. Some of those mamas
were forming an Attachment Parenting group. The acronym of the first
name they came up with was going to be SLAP. I got a good chuckle out
of that one. -=-

Cedar Rapids could have had a group called CRAP!




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Danielle Conger

>
> In [email protected]
> <mailto:AlwaysLearning%40yahoogroups.com>, "Joanna Murphy"
> <ridingmom@...> wrote:
>
> >
> > "HEAV conference"
> >
> > I don't know what this anacronym stands for, but could there be a
> much worse one?
>

Home Education Association of Virginia, I do believe.


--
~~Danielle
Emily (11), Julia (10), Sam (8)
http://www.organiclearning.blogspot.com