food again
Verna
I have read what I can find about food limits and trusting my
children and I question how I deal with my kids in this area but I
have not quite been able to give up controls about food. Of my 4
kids I really feel that for 3 of them I could do this, but then there
is my youngest. He is 3 and has a history of malnutrition (not abuse
or neglect), but lack of food availability. (we adopted him when he
was 2 1/2). He knows there is food available, he doesnt horde it.
But when he is given food he eats it incredibly fast and will
continue to eat until sick or told he has had enough. If anyone has
anything he wants what they have and is on constant look out for
people eating. I sometimes feel that he is always aware of any food
being eating in the house and noone can go in the kitchen without him
knowing it.
So I have gotten to the point where I tell him he is done and full
and has to stop. He gets upset because the other kids might still be
eating.
I have been trying to identify my fear in all this. Why I feel like
I need to continue to try to control how much he eats. He eats just
about any foods by the way. I seriously have found nothing he will
turn down except one time a mushroom and another time he had a
stomach bug and didnt eat much for 2 days.
I guess I feel I need to control him because I am afraid for his
health (getting overweight), how much money we spend on food, and I
am getting him things to eat constantly. I tried making a monkey
platter for him on a few occasions but gave up because he just sat
there and finished it off at one sitting and as soon as it was
replenished did it again.
I have been reading about unschooling for along time and have been
moving toward it for a long time and in some areas feel like we have
really made alot of progress but my contoling behavior about food has
really hendered us from progressing even further.
children and I question how I deal with my kids in this area but I
have not quite been able to give up controls about food. Of my 4
kids I really feel that for 3 of them I could do this, but then there
is my youngest. He is 3 and has a history of malnutrition (not abuse
or neglect), but lack of food availability. (we adopted him when he
was 2 1/2). He knows there is food available, he doesnt horde it.
But when he is given food he eats it incredibly fast and will
continue to eat until sick or told he has had enough. If anyone has
anything he wants what they have and is on constant look out for
people eating. I sometimes feel that he is always aware of any food
being eating in the house and noone can go in the kitchen without him
knowing it.
So I have gotten to the point where I tell him he is done and full
and has to stop. He gets upset because the other kids might still be
eating.
I have been trying to identify my fear in all this. Why I feel like
I need to continue to try to control how much he eats. He eats just
about any foods by the way. I seriously have found nothing he will
turn down except one time a mushroom and another time he had a
stomach bug and didnt eat much for 2 days.
I guess I feel I need to control him because I am afraid for his
health (getting overweight), how much money we spend on food, and I
am getting him things to eat constantly. I tried making a monkey
platter for him on a few occasions but gave up because he just sat
there and finished it off at one sitting and as soon as it was
replenished did it again.
I have been reading about unschooling for along time and have been
moving toward it for a long time and in some areas feel like we have
really made alot of progress but my contoling behavior about food has
really hendered us from progressing even further.
Robyn L. Coburn
If he is 3 and you adopted him at 2 1/2 it has been only somewhere around or
a little more than 6 months.
I don't think he has had enough time to truly feel full (of love and safety)
and to truly feel comfortable and trust that the food won't become
unavailable again. His body is reacting to plenty after famine.
If telling him to stop is upsetting him, you are bringing an extra layer of
emotional discomfort that will be more static preventing him from hearing
his body's satiation cues.
You are afraid that he will be overweight? He's three. You put out the
monkey platter how many times? But then you are upset that it got eaten.
Are you envisioning that he will be like an increasingly large vacuum
cleaner and the amount that he consumes will increase exponentially with his
growth, so that he ends up like Mr. Creosote?
If he eats the whole platter, put out another.
If he is still eating, offer him more.
You are worried about how much his food is costing. Can it really be so
much? I would caution you against having an attitude in your heart that he
is costing you "too much". I think our subconcious thoughts or fears can be
clearer to those around us than we realize. I refer you to the epiphany I
just had yesterday (at the age of 47) about my mother's unspoken belief that
I was lazy. It wasn't that she said so to me, it was something internalized
that I somehow internalized as well over my youth and childhood.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
a little more than 6 months.
I don't think he has had enough time to truly feel full (of love and safety)
and to truly feel comfortable and trust that the food won't become
unavailable again. His body is reacting to plenty after famine.
If telling him to stop is upsetting him, you are bringing an extra layer of
emotional discomfort that will be more static preventing him from hearing
his body's satiation cues.
You are afraid that he will be overweight? He's three. You put out the
monkey platter how many times? But then you are upset that it got eaten.
Are you envisioning that he will be like an increasingly large vacuum
cleaner and the amount that he consumes will increase exponentially with his
growth, so that he ends up like Mr. Creosote?
If he eats the whole platter, put out another.
If he is still eating, offer him more.
You are worried about how much his food is costing. Can it really be so
much? I would caution you against having an attitude in your heart that he
is costing you "too much". I think our subconcious thoughts or fears can be
clearer to those around us than we realize. I refer you to the epiphany I
just had yesterday (at the age of 47) about my mother's unspoken belief that
I was lazy. It wasn't that she said so to me, it was something internalized
that I somehow internalized as well over my youth and childhood.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Verna" <lalow@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2009 7:31 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] food again
>I have read what I can find about food limits and trusting my
> children and I question how I deal with my kids in this area but I
> have not quite been able to give up controls about food. Of my 4
> kids I really feel that for 3 of them I could do this, but then there
> is my youngest. He is 3 and has a history of malnutrition (not abuse
> or neglect), but lack of food availability. (we adopted him when he
> was 2 1/2). He knows there is food available, he doesnt horde it.
> But when he is given food he eats it incredibly fast and will
> continue to eat until sick or told he has had enough. If anyone has
> anything he wants what they have and is on constant look out for
> people eating. I sometimes feel that he is always aware of any food
> being eating in the house and noone can go in the kitchen without him
> knowing it.
> So I have gotten to the point where I tell him he is done and full
> and has to stop. He gets upset because the other kids might still be
> eating.
> I have been trying to identify my fear in all this. Why I feel like
> I need to continue to try to control how much he eats. He eats just
> about any foods by the way. I seriously have found nothing he will
> turn down except one time a mushroom and another time he had a
> stomach bug and didnt eat much for 2 days.
> I guess I feel I need to control him because I am afraid for his
> health (getting overweight), how much money we spend on food, and I
> am getting him things to eat constantly. I tried making a monkey
> platter for him on a few occasions but gave up because he just sat
> there and finished it off at one sitting and as soon as it was
> replenished did it again.
> I have been reading about unschooling for along time and have been
> moving toward it for a long time and in some areas feel like we have
> really made alot of progress but my contoling behavior about food has
> really hendered us from progressing even further.
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.237 / Virus Database: 270.11.3/1967 - Release Date: 02/23/09
07:17:00
Verna
My son is almost 4 so he has been with us 1 1/2 years. Still not long
in many ways though and attachment, safety etc. take alot of time.
He does have a lot of stress around food and I can see I am making it
worse. of course I would never want for him to believe I think he is
costing us too much money or anything like that. i will watch the
messages I send to him.
just now as I was typing this he came in and asked me for popcorn. i
said yes, I will go pop it. Then he looks up and said, can I have a
cheese stick too. I said, yes. Then he gets this look and says, "and
can I have yogurt too. I said, yes. And he looks and me with a great
big grin and said, "yeahhhhh" and ran out of the room. and I feel like
a heal for in the past making him choose between the three instead of
just giving him what he asks for.
I guess I need to look at him each time he asks for something and ask
myself what answer will help our relationship and his stress levels.
in many ways though and attachment, safety etc. take alot of time.
He does have a lot of stress around food and I can see I am making it
worse. of course I would never want for him to believe I think he is
costing us too much money or anything like that. i will watch the
messages I send to him.
just now as I was typing this he came in and asked me for popcorn. i
said yes, I will go pop it. Then he looks up and said, can I have a
cheese stick too. I said, yes. Then he gets this look and says, "and
can I have yogurt too. I said, yes. And he looks and me with a great
big grin and said, "yeahhhhh" and ran out of the room. and I feel like
a heal for in the past making him choose between the three instead of
just giving him what he asks for.
I guess I need to look at him each time he asks for something and ask
myself what answer will help our relationship and his stress levels.
Tangee
Verna,
By giving him a choice you are doing nothing wrong. You are helping to
give him such extra structure and teaching him not to be excessive. I would
have said yes to 2, but not all 3. I am an adoptive parent as well and we
brought our oldest daughter home at 18 months. At that time she was our
only child and we allowed her to have everything she could possibly want.
That's how she stayed overweight for about one year. Then I saw that I
wasn't helping her to give into her every demand for food and started saying
no and helping to implement healthy choices. She's almost 10 now and is a
healthy happy little girl who is very bonded to her Daddy and I. Just
another perspective.
Tangee
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of Verna
Sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2009 9:35 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: food again
My son is almost 4 so he has been with us 1 1/2 years. Still not long
in many ways though and attachment, safety etc. take alot of time.
He does have a lot of stress around food and I can see I am making it
worse. of course I would never want for him to believe I think he is
costing us too much money or anything like that. i will watch the
messages I send to him.
just now as I was typing this he came in and asked me for popcorn. i
said yes, I will go pop it. Then he looks up and said, can I have a
cheese stick too. I said, yes. Then he gets this look and says, "and
can I have yogurt too. I said, yes. And he looks and me with a great
big grin and said, "yeahhhhh" and ran out of the room. and I feel like
a heal for in the past making him choose between the three instead of
just giving him what he asks for.
I guess I need to look at him each time he asks for something and ask
myself what answer will help our relationship and his stress levels.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
By giving him a choice you are doing nothing wrong. You are helping to
give him such extra structure and teaching him not to be excessive. I would
have said yes to 2, but not all 3. I am an adoptive parent as well and we
brought our oldest daughter home at 18 months. At that time she was our
only child and we allowed her to have everything she could possibly want.
That's how she stayed overweight for about one year. Then I saw that I
wasn't helping her to give into her every demand for food and started saying
no and helping to implement healthy choices. She's almost 10 now and is a
healthy happy little girl who is very bonded to her Daddy and I. Just
another perspective.
Tangee
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of Verna
Sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2009 9:35 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: food again
My son is almost 4 so he has been with us 1 1/2 years. Still not long
in many ways though and attachment, safety etc. take alot of time.
He does have a lot of stress around food and I can see I am making it
worse. of course I would never want for him to believe I think he is
costing us too much money or anything like that. i will watch the
messages I send to him.
just now as I was typing this he came in and asked me for popcorn. i
said yes, I will go pop it. Then he looks up and said, can I have a
cheese stick too. I said, yes. Then he gets this look and says, "and
can I have yogurt too. I said, yes. And he looks and me with a great
big grin and said, "yeahhhhh" and ran out of the room. and I feel like
a heal for in the past making him choose between the three instead of
just giving him what he asks for.
I guess I need to look at him each time he asks for something and ask
myself what answer will help our relationship and his stress levels.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 2/24/2009 9:34 AM, Verna wrote:
be an overriding concern. Instead, make sure he has lots of chance for
activity.
My sister adopted a child with similar issues - seems not to be uncommon
for kids who have been really neglected and abused as babies/toddlers.
My sister did limit and restrict food and her daughter looked trim and
healthy during all of her childhood. She's 27 now and has gained a very
large amount of weight.
Just saying....controlling his food intake now isn't going to keep him
healthy later, and it could very well backfire. How can he ever relax
around food and feel a sense of abundance if you don't let him?
I can't promise that early food deprivation won't have any lasting
effect. But you can make it worse by continuing to create a sense of
deprivation.
-pam
> I guess I need to look at him each time he asks for something and askIt won't be so awful if he gains some weight. Definitely don't let that
> myself what answer will help our relationship and his stress levels.
>
>
be an overriding concern. Instead, make sure he has lots of chance for
activity.
My sister adopted a child with similar issues - seems not to be uncommon
for kids who have been really neglected and abused as babies/toddlers.
My sister did limit and restrict food and her daughter looked trim and
healthy during all of her childhood. She's 27 now and has gained a very
large amount of weight.
Just saying....controlling his food intake now isn't going to keep him
healthy later, and it could very well backfire. How can he ever relax
around food and feel a sense of abundance if you don't let him?
I can't promise that early food deprivation won't have any lasting
effect. But you can make it worse by continuing to create a sense of
deprivation.
-pam
Sandra Dodd
-=- You are helping to
give him such extra structure and teaching him not to be excessive.-=-
"Teaching him not to be excessive?"
That's about teaching, and it defines a child wanting yogurt as
"excessive."
He wasn't asking for a box of Twinkies and half a gallon of ice
cream. And if he had? (Probably nobody has a box of Twinkies
onhand, but we usually have ice cream. Nobody's ever eaten even a
pint at once, let alone half a gallon.)
-=- Then I saw that I
wasn't helping her to give into her every demand for food and started
saying
no -=-
The phrasing there is very antagonistic. I never "give in" to my
kids, because they don't have to beg. They've never "demanded" food.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
give him such extra structure and teaching him not to be excessive.-=-
"Teaching him not to be excessive?"
That's about teaching, and it defines a child wanting yogurt as
"excessive."
He wasn't asking for a box of Twinkies and half a gallon of ice
cream. And if he had? (Probably nobody has a box of Twinkies
onhand, but we usually have ice cream. Nobody's ever eaten even a
pint at once, let alone half a gallon.)
-=- Then I saw that I
wasn't helping her to give into her every demand for food and started
saying
no -=-
The phrasing there is very antagonistic. I never "give in" to my
kids, because they don't have to beg. They've never "demanded" food.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
I thought I had sent this as soon as I wrote it, but it was under
Lyrics game and photos of pattern books and all kinds of stuff. Sorry.
-=-I seriously have found nothing he will
turn down except one time a mushroom=-
That will continue until you let him have his fill, physically and
emotionally, and until he trusts that you will let him have his fill.
Friday there will be a chat on food and eating.
http://sandradodd.com/chats/food
We should discuss it here too, but if you think that might help,
there's another resource.
-=-He is 3 and has a history of malnutrition (not abuse or neglect),
but lack of food availability. (we adopted him when he was 2 1/2).-=-
How far into three is he? How long has he been with you?
-=-He knows there is food available,-=-
"Available" isn't the word you should use, if it isn't available to him.
-=-So I have gotten to the point where I tell him he is done and full
and has to stop.-=-
My mom used to tell me I wasn't hungry. She was wrong. I lost
faith in her very early on, largely because of that.
If you tell him he "has to stop," what is the threat that goes with
that? "Have to" or else what?
One thing that will make unschooling flow more easily is if every
time you say (or even think) "have to" you rephrase it. Recast it in
light of choices.
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
-=-I guess I feel I need to control him because I am afraid for his
health (getting overweight), how much money we spend on food, and I
am getting him things to eat constantly-=-
Save this somewhere, please, because you will see it much diffently
in a couple of years.
If you were to ask overweight people whether they had all the food
they wanted or whether there were people shaming and limiting and
haranguing them, which do you think they would report?
-=-I tried making a monkey platter for him on a few occasions but
gave up because he just sat there and finished it off at one sitting
and as soon as it was replenished did it again.-=-
Make one twice as big as you think he could possibly eat. He needs
to have so much food he cannot possibly finish it, and more than
once. It needs to be a constant in his life.
-=-I have been reading about unschooling for along time and have been
moving toward it for a long time...-=-
http://sandradodd.com/doit
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lyrics game and photos of pattern books and all kinds of stuff. Sorry.
-=-I seriously have found nothing he will
turn down except one time a mushroom=-
That will continue until you let him have his fill, physically and
emotionally, and until he trusts that you will let him have his fill.
Friday there will be a chat on food and eating.
http://sandradodd.com/chats/food
We should discuss it here too, but if you think that might help,
there's another resource.
-=-He is 3 and has a history of malnutrition (not abuse or neglect),
but lack of food availability. (we adopted him when he was 2 1/2).-=-
How far into three is he? How long has he been with you?
-=-He knows there is food available,-=-
"Available" isn't the word you should use, if it isn't available to him.
-=-So I have gotten to the point where I tell him he is done and full
and has to stop.-=-
My mom used to tell me I wasn't hungry. She was wrong. I lost
faith in her very early on, largely because of that.
If you tell him he "has to stop," what is the threat that goes with
that? "Have to" or else what?
One thing that will make unschooling flow more easily is if every
time you say (or even think) "have to" you rephrase it. Recast it in
light of choices.
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
-=-I guess I feel I need to control him because I am afraid for his
health (getting overweight), how much money we spend on food, and I
am getting him things to eat constantly-=-
Save this somewhere, please, because you will see it much diffently
in a couple of years.
If you were to ask overweight people whether they had all the food
they wanted or whether there were people shaming and limiting and
haranguing them, which do you think they would report?
-=-I tried making a monkey platter for him on a few occasions but
gave up because he just sat there and finished it off at one sitting
and as soon as it was replenished did it again.-=-
Make one twice as big as you think he could possibly eat. He needs
to have so much food he cannot possibly finish it, and more than
once. It needs to be a constant in his life.
-=-I have been reading about unschooling for along time and have been
moving toward it for a long time...-=-
http://sandradodd.com/doit
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nicole Willoughby
My godchild lived with me for a year and her mother limited food. I never said no to food yet she would still get up in the middle of the night to get food, hide it in her room etc.
So i told her she didnt have to hide or sneak she was welcome to eat whenever she wanted. She hapilly said ok but would still scarf down her food at meals, say she was full . Then Id find evidence of sneaking food.
At five being ashamed of eating to much has been brainwashed into her it seemed like .
The 2 things that helped are what Sandra just said...making the plates bigger than they can possibly eat and making a box for her. I filled a box with a large variety of snacks and checked it daily ...its was hers to keep wherever she wanted.
Nicole
Never play with hot lava in the house ~Alyssa,5
So i told her she didnt have to hide or sneak she was welcome to eat whenever she wanted. She hapilly said ok but would still scarf down her food at meals, say she was full . Then Id find evidence of sneaking food.
At five being ashamed of eating to much has been brainwashed into her it seemed like .
The 2 things that helped are what Sandra just said...making the plates bigger than they can possibly eat and making a box for her. I filled a box with a large variety of snacks and checked it daily ...its was hers to keep wherever she wanted.
Nicole
Never play with hot lava in the house ~Alyssa,5
--- On Tue, 2/24/09, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] food again
To: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 24, 2009, 12:11 PM
I thought I had sent this as soon as I wrote it, but it was under
Lyrics game and photos of pattern books and all kinds of stuff. Sorry.
-=-I seriously have found nothing he will
turn down except one time a mushroom=-
That will continue until you let him have his fill, physically and
emotionally, and until he trusts that you will let him have his fill.
Friday there will be a chat on food and eating.
http://sandradodd. com/chats/ food
We should discuss it here too, but if you think that might help,
there's another resource.
-=-He is 3 and has a history of malnutrition (not abuse or neglect),
but lack of food availability. (we adopted him when he was 2 1/2).-=-
How far into three is he? How long has he been with you?
-=-He knows there is food available,-= -
"Available" isn't the word you should use, if it isn't available to him.
-=-So I have gotten to the point where I tell him he is done and full
and has to stop.-=-
My mom used to tell me I wasn't hungry. She was wrong. I lost
faith in her very early on, largely because of that.
If you tell him he "has to stop," what is the threat that goes with
that? "Have to" or else what?
One thing that will make unschooling flow more easily is if every
time you say (or even think) "have to" you rephrase it. Recast it in
light of choices.
http://sandradodd. com/haveto
-=-I guess I feel I need to control him because I am afraid for his
health (getting overweight), how much money we spend on food, and I
am getting him things to eat constantly-= -
Save this somewhere, please, because you will see it much diffently
in a couple of years.
If you were to ask overweight people whether they had all the food
they wanted or whether there were people shaming and limiting and
haranguing them, which do you think they would report?
-=-I tried making a monkey platter for him on a few occasions but
gave up because he just sat there and finished it off at one sitting
and as soon as it was replenished did it again.-=-
Make one twice as big as you think he could possibly eat. He needs
to have so much food he cannot possibly finish it, and more than
once. It needs to be a constant in his life.
-=-I have been reading about unschooling for along time and have been
moving toward it for a long time...-=-
http://sandradodd. com/doit
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
He wasn't asking for a box of Twinkies and half a gallon of ice
cream. And if he had? (Probably nobody has a box of Twinkies
onhand, but we usually have ice cream. Nobody's ever eaten even a
pint at once, let alone half a gallon.)
-=---------------
When I was yonger and exercised a lot and was super healthy I used to eat a gallon of icecream in one, maybe 2 sit downs. My husband , who is a runner, does that with cookies now. He is super healthy and fit.
Neither of us where unschooled but if my kids wanted we would never say anything.
Let me tell you that after eating a gallon of ice cream I would go for a long while without being able to even SEE ice cream in front of me.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cream. And if he had? (Probably nobody has a box of Twinkies
onhand, but we usually have ice cream. Nobody's ever eaten even a
pint at once, let alone half a gallon.)
-=---------------
When I was yonger and exercised a lot and was super healthy I used to eat a gallon of icecream in one, maybe 2 sit downs. My husband , who is a runner, does that with cookies now. He is super healthy and fit.
Neither of us where unschooled but if my kids wanted we would never say anything.
Let me tell you that after eating a gallon of ice cream I would go for a long while without being able to even SEE ice cream in front of me.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
Rosie (18) has months where she is playing soccer, dancing, and doing
Kung Fu - that's more than 2 or 3 hours of intense exercise every day,
some days she'll have 6 or 7 hours of high-intensity exercise. Her body
tends to get worn down with that schedule, but it doesn't usually last
more than a few months, doing all of them at once.
She's a small person, but the quantity of food she eats during those
months is amazing. She'll eat 2 or 3 avocados, with a whole box of
crackers, as a snack, between hearty meals, for example. During those
months, we sometimes go to a buffet. She'll pile a mountain of food on
her plate and I'll see people looking sideways at it, thinking she
surely can't eat it all. <G>
-pam
Kung Fu - that's more than 2 or 3 hours of intense exercise every day,
some days she'll have 6 or 7 hours of high-intensity exercise. Her body
tends to get worn down with that schedule, but it doesn't usually last
more than a few months, doing all of them at once.
She's a small person, but the quantity of food she eats during those
months is amazing. She'll eat 2 or 3 avocados, with a whole box of
crackers, as a snack, between hearty meals, for example. During those
months, we sometimes go to a buffet. She'll pile a mountain of food on
her plate and I'll see people looking sideways at it, thinking she
surely can't eat it all. <G>
-pam
On 2/24/2009 10:54 AM, BRIAN POLIKOWSKY wrote:
> When I was yonger and exercised a lot and was super healthy I used to eat a gallon of icecream in one, maybe 2 sit downs.
k
>>>> just now as I was typing this he came in and asked me for popcorn. isaid yes, I will go pop it. Then he looks up and said, can I have a
cheese stick too. I said, yes. Then he gets this look and says, "and
can I have yogurt too. I said, yes. And he looks and me with a great
big grin and said, "yeahhhhh" and ran out of the room. and I feel like
a heal for in the past making him choose between the three instead of
just giving him what he asks for. <<<<
Verna.. I don't know how you're other kids eat/ate at that age. But
Karl could put away a LOT of food and still does the same at times.
The description you've written above sound very normal to me!
~Katherine
Jenny C
> By giving him a choice you are doing nothing wrong. You are helping towould
> give him such extra structure and teaching him not to be excessive. I
> have said yes to 2, but not all 3.Why though? What purpose would it serve to say yes to 2, but not 3?
Sometimes kids like to explore certain flavors together. For a little
one who was deprived of food, that could be especially true. Babies
explore by tasting and differentiating between what is and isn't food.
If that wasn't available, they are still needing to explore that.
No person can teach another what is excessive or not. It's totally
personal to the individual body and needs of that body. Some kids eat a
lot even if they were never deprived of food. My friend's little kid,
at the age of 3 and 4 ate twice as much food as I did for every meal.
She's almost 15 now and is super tall and skinny.
I am an adoptive parent as well and we
> brought our oldest daughter home at 18 months. At that time she wasour
> only child and we allowed her to have everything she could possiblywant.
> That's how she stayed overweight for about one year.How does anyone know that a 3 or 4 yr old is overweight? Is it by how
they look? Is it by how much they weigh? Will they really stay that
way after a couple of years? The child mentioned above was a huge baby
and a very round little kid, she was extremely heavy, very solid. She
still weighs a lot, but she's not overweight by any means, she very very
thin and has a hard time finding pants tiny enough around the waist and
still long enough for her super long legs. How could anyone have
predicted that when she was 3 or 4? There is only one other really tall
person in her family.
I have a really hard time accepting someone calling a little kid
overweight, even for a year. Kids are growing and changing all the
time. One year a kid may be very round and the next they may grow tall.
Then I saw that I
> wasn't helping her to give into her every demand for food and startedsaying
> no and helping to implement healthy choices. She's almost 10 now andis a
> healthy happy little girl who is very bonded to her Daddy and I.Being 10 and bonded is great, but it has nothing to do with food issues.
Just because you've implemented "healthy" choices, doesn't mean that you
will ever control what your child eats or how it will affect her. 10 is
still young, the teen years are looming ahead. A healthy 10 yr old
eating what her parents see as healthy will NOT garauntee that it will
produce a healthy 14 yr old happily eating what her parents deem
healthy.
I object to the idea of "giving into" demands of a child. As parents,
we can either be their partners and help them get what they want or we
can set life up so that everything is doled out by the parents and
requested by the child and given at the parent's discretion. It doesn't
help natural learning when a child can't make the decision for
themselves as to what is good and healthy and enough.
Verna
> >>>> just now as I was typing this he came in and asked me forpopcorn. i
> said yes, I will go pop it. Then he looks up and said, can I have alike
> cheese stick too. I said, yes. Then he gets this look and says, "and
> can I have yogurt too. I said, yes. And he looks and me with a great
> big grin and said, "yeahhhhh" and ran out of the room. and I feel
> a heal for in the past making him choose between the three instead ofjust came in to check if I got any responses.
> just giving him what he asks for. <<<<
>
> Verna.. I don't know how you're other kids eat/ate at that age. But
> Karl could put away a LOT of food and still does the same at times.
> The description you've written above sound very normal to me!
>
All my kids are good/big eaters. My oldest especially could put away
some food at that age.
Gold Standard
>>But when he is given food he eats it incredibly fast and willcontinue to eat until sick or told he has had enough. If anyone has
anything he wants what they have and is on constant look out for
people eating. <<
Along with the answers regarding lifting all limits with food...
I was close with a foster child of 3 who had the same behavior. Turned out
he had a common intestinal parasite(s) that had been there for at least a
year. As soon as he was treated (simple treatment), his frantic food
behavior stopped and he gained weight, finally feeling full.
Just thought I'd put that thought out, in case.
Jacki
Dawn
I am new to posting here (not reading here) but I can talk about this
one.
We have a little daughter who we adopted at 3 1/2 that is now almost
6. She came from a history of severe neglect and malnutrition. She
came home with a tummy full of parasites, and an appetite that seemed
to never quit. We treated the parasites, but doing so could not treat
her underlying fears around food. Fears that she would never have
"enough". She also seemed to have no "off" button and would eat until
she couldn't move, or until she vomited. She also panicked if one of
her siblings was eating and she wasn't. If we went anywhere, her first
questions were always about when and where she would eat.
Two and a half years later and she is NOT the same kid in regards to
food. Yes, she gained a lot of weight, but she is healthy and active
and is just now leveling off.
I think what's most important, is for you to address your own fears
behind your child's eating. For me, my daughter's eating brought up a
lot of my own fears from my childhood and mealtimes. I realized at one
point, that it was better for me to set her food in front of her,
smile at her, and calmly leave the room than to stay with her. She was
picking up on my anxiousness and it was making her more anxious. I
allowed her to eat in peace, without me hovering over her with MY fears.
We stopped regulating her eating at all. I let her eat what she wanted
when she wanted. I also made sure that I was filling her "love tank"
constantly. I wanted her to associate filling up with love to get rid
of her feelings of "emptiness". We kept finger foods handy in a
cupboard where she could reach them at anytime. We told her it was
"ok" to be full and that she could eat HER foods anytime she wanted.
We told her over and over that there would "always be food". She would
often go to the cupboard just to open it and see if there was food
still in there.
It broke my heart, but we stayed consistent and loving.
Today she is healthy and her eating issues are mostly a thing of the
past. I still remember the first time she left food on her plate and
walked away. I cried. :) I knew she had reached a place of some
healing. She now regularly "forgets" to eat or chooses to eat later
when she is busy playing. She leaves food if she is full. She still
loves to eat and still worries some, but she trusts me to care for her
now and is not obsessed with food as she once was.
Just wanted to give you some hope. :) And hope I didn't ramble on too
much!
dawn
one.
We have a little daughter who we adopted at 3 1/2 that is now almost
6. She came from a history of severe neglect and malnutrition. She
came home with a tummy full of parasites, and an appetite that seemed
to never quit. We treated the parasites, but doing so could not treat
her underlying fears around food. Fears that she would never have
"enough". She also seemed to have no "off" button and would eat until
she couldn't move, or until she vomited. She also panicked if one of
her siblings was eating and she wasn't. If we went anywhere, her first
questions were always about when and where she would eat.
Two and a half years later and she is NOT the same kid in regards to
food. Yes, she gained a lot of weight, but she is healthy and active
and is just now leveling off.
I think what's most important, is for you to address your own fears
behind your child's eating. For me, my daughter's eating brought up a
lot of my own fears from my childhood and mealtimes. I realized at one
point, that it was better for me to set her food in front of her,
smile at her, and calmly leave the room than to stay with her. She was
picking up on my anxiousness and it was making her more anxious. I
allowed her to eat in peace, without me hovering over her with MY fears.
We stopped regulating her eating at all. I let her eat what she wanted
when she wanted. I also made sure that I was filling her "love tank"
constantly. I wanted her to associate filling up with love to get rid
of her feelings of "emptiness". We kept finger foods handy in a
cupboard where she could reach them at anytime. We told her it was
"ok" to be full and that she could eat HER foods anytime she wanted.
We told her over and over that there would "always be food". She would
often go to the cupboard just to open it and see if there was food
still in there.
It broke my heart, but we stayed consistent and loving.
Today she is healthy and her eating issues are mostly a thing of the
past. I still remember the first time she left food on her plate and
walked away. I cried. :) I knew she had reached a place of some
healing. She now regularly "forgets" to eat or chooses to eat later
when she is busy playing. She leaves food if she is full. She still
loves to eat and still worries some, but she trusts me to care for her
now and is not obsessed with food as she once was.
Just wanted to give you some hope. :) And hope I didn't ramble on too
much!
dawn
Pam Sorooshian
On 2/25/2009 7:18 AM, Dawn wrote:
bigger person - tall, broad shouldered, normal weight. Her mother is
tall, too, but very thin. Her parents are very very controlling. To the
point that the mother controls exactly what food goes into her mouth. I
mean - when the girl is eating, the mother is watching and counting the
bites. When the girl asks for more, the mother gives her a lecture about
eating too much. She refers to her as a "chowhound."
The girl really does think about food all the time. We went on a trip
together and when the itinerary was being planned, she was always really
panicky if it didn't include exactly when and where we were going to
eat. She could hardly think about what else there was to do if the
eating plans weren't settled first. When she's serving herself food, she
does it with one eye on her mother, who indicates when she should stop.
She constantly asks for more and her mother sometimes gives in and
sometimes doesn't. She always says things like, "You don't need more,"
or "If you must, you can have one more and that's all." When we were
traveling together, the mother commented several times on how much my
girls eat. My girls are in good shape - they're very healthy and not
overweight or underweight. We were at a buffet and the mom stayed right
with her daughter and told her, "One biscuit only. And you must have
some fruit with it." Stuff like that. My kids just picked out whatever
they wanted to eat, and the mom commented on their choices not being
"balanced." Rosie likes potatoes a lot - she had french fries and hash
browns, both. Plus a bagel. The mom said something like, "I see you're
having a whole meal of carbs." Her daughter constantly asks for more
and absolutely always wants dessert. My kids seldom have dessert after a
meal, they have sweets whenever they want them, but right after eating
isn't usually one of those times. We had a birthday party here last
weekend and had a really delicious huge cake - and half of it was left.
It sat here for 3 days with little plates and forks and a cake knife
right at hand, and the kids never touched it. They'd had enough at the
party and didn't feel like having more cake. For her, right after a meal
is one of the few time her mom will allow it (because she's just had
healthy foods, first), so she almost never fails to have dessert. I
wonder, when she goes off to college next year, how she'll handle her
food issues.
So - I'm not surprised that a kid who has been deprived of food seems to
have a desperation about it - but it is interesting to observe some of
the same behaviors when the child feels deprived but is actually getting
enough food to be healthy as well as when they are truly being
undernourished.
-pam
> If we went anywhere, her firstThis reminded me of someone else I know. This teenage girl is kind of a
> questions were always about when and where she would eat.
>
>
bigger person - tall, broad shouldered, normal weight. Her mother is
tall, too, but very thin. Her parents are very very controlling. To the
point that the mother controls exactly what food goes into her mouth. I
mean - when the girl is eating, the mother is watching and counting the
bites. When the girl asks for more, the mother gives her a lecture about
eating too much. She refers to her as a "chowhound."
The girl really does think about food all the time. We went on a trip
together and when the itinerary was being planned, she was always really
panicky if it didn't include exactly when and where we were going to
eat. She could hardly think about what else there was to do if the
eating plans weren't settled first. When she's serving herself food, she
does it with one eye on her mother, who indicates when she should stop.
She constantly asks for more and her mother sometimes gives in and
sometimes doesn't. She always says things like, "You don't need more,"
or "If you must, you can have one more and that's all." When we were
traveling together, the mother commented several times on how much my
girls eat. My girls are in good shape - they're very healthy and not
overweight or underweight. We were at a buffet and the mom stayed right
with her daughter and told her, "One biscuit only. And you must have
some fruit with it." Stuff like that. My kids just picked out whatever
they wanted to eat, and the mom commented on their choices not being
"balanced." Rosie likes potatoes a lot - she had french fries and hash
browns, both. Plus a bagel. The mom said something like, "I see you're
having a whole meal of carbs." Her daughter constantly asks for more
and absolutely always wants dessert. My kids seldom have dessert after a
meal, they have sweets whenever they want them, but right after eating
isn't usually one of those times. We had a birthday party here last
weekend and had a really delicious huge cake - and half of it was left.
It sat here for 3 days with little plates and forks and a cake knife
right at hand, and the kids never touched it. They'd had enough at the
party and didn't feel like having more cake. For her, right after a meal
is one of the few time her mom will allow it (because she's just had
healthy foods, first), so she almost never fails to have dessert. I
wonder, when she goes off to college next year, how she'll handle her
food issues.
So - I'm not surprised that a kid who has been deprived of food seems to
have a desperation about it - but it is interesting to observe some of
the same behaviors when the child feels deprived but is actually getting
enough food to be healthy as well as when they are truly being
undernourished.
-pam
John and Amanda Slater
If your son is constantly eating past the point where he is full, you could try offering transition activities. Instead of "you have had enough", try "after you finish, lets play a game." It might help him move on, without limits or worry that the food is being taken away.
Another option might be eating while another activity is happening. Taking food to the park or while playing might help reinforce the idea of eating a bit and coming back when you are hungry.
Amanda
Eli 7, Samuel 6
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Another option might be eating while another activity is happening. Taking food to the park or while playing might help reinforce the idea of eating a bit and coming back when you are hungry.
Amanda
Eli 7, Samuel 6
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Teresa
Just an odd suggestion. Have you tried giving him something like an entire head of iceberg lettus and helped/shown how he can eat it layer by crunchy layer? It is one of those foods you can eat all you want of and not get too much of anything that will upset your digestion. It also has a very satisfying way of disappearing slowly into a tiny ball. There are other similar foods like a nice loaf of french bread perhaps with a olive oil and balsamic vinegar dip. Just something big he can sit and munch on that isn't too unhealthy but will satisfy his visual faculties and requires some creativity to eat.
Another thought. Does he have a food allergy or intolerance? Some celiacs crave and eat a lot of breads and other gluten filled products and so do some people with milk and other food allergies. just a thought.
Also helping them learn about proper nutrition so they can have the information they need to make healthy food choices. Not sure what it's called in the US but in Canada we have the Canada food Guide and in the past it was taped to our fridge. Not as a set of rules but a general sort of guide to what is healthy and what we might want to try to consume. When asked I explained things like "No you don't have to eat all this everyday or only this amount. Some days you will be more hungry others less so. Just keep in mind what you have eaten over the last week or so and think about what your body might need." When preparing meals for the family I was in the habit of talking to myself out loud and to the kids about what have we eaten today or the last week and what might we need more or less of to maintain a healthy body. Never said you can't have that or this unless it was some else's birthday cake or something.
Last idea look for other needs he might have that he might be trying to satisfy with food. He might need more of something -one on one time, sports, books, snuggles, jumping whatever you might think of, games at the table- and be using food to fill that need. If he was lacking food it could have become his comfort item like a blanky or stuffy. It may have been the thing he needed or that satisfied his feeling of "need". Perhaps he has not developed the ability transfer his feelings of "need" to the thing he actually "needs" and so when that "need" feeling comes up he thinks food instead of the thing that would actually fill the need.
Just thought I would throw some suggestions out there. It can be tough helping a little guy figure out what his body requires when his physical cues might be messed up from the inability to use them properly. You might also want to help his develop a digestion vocabulary. Talk about your own bodies feelings so he can think about or explain how his body might be feeling. "My tummy is so full it feels tight I think I ate too much." "When I eat too much fiber my bowels on my sides cramp and my poo comes fast.." "when I eat spicy foods my tummy feels all full of acid and burns." What ever is happening give it a name and a feeling and a result and talk about how his body might react. Creating dialog helps create awareness with out any need for the child to feel they are being accused or blamed ro shamed or what have you.
Just ideas feel free to toss them.
Teresa
__________________________________________________________________
Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at http://ca.answers.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Another thought. Does he have a food allergy or intolerance? Some celiacs crave and eat a lot of breads and other gluten filled products and so do some people with milk and other food allergies. just a thought.
Also helping them learn about proper nutrition so they can have the information they need to make healthy food choices. Not sure what it's called in the US but in Canada we have the Canada food Guide and in the past it was taped to our fridge. Not as a set of rules but a general sort of guide to what is healthy and what we might want to try to consume. When asked I explained things like "No you don't have to eat all this everyday or only this amount. Some days you will be more hungry others less so. Just keep in mind what you have eaten over the last week or so and think about what your body might need." When preparing meals for the family I was in the habit of talking to myself out loud and to the kids about what have we eaten today or the last week and what might we need more or less of to maintain a healthy body. Never said you can't have that or this unless it was some else's birthday cake or something.
Last idea look for other needs he might have that he might be trying to satisfy with food. He might need more of something -one on one time, sports, books, snuggles, jumping whatever you might think of, games at the table- and be using food to fill that need. If he was lacking food it could have become his comfort item like a blanky or stuffy. It may have been the thing he needed or that satisfied his feeling of "need". Perhaps he has not developed the ability transfer his feelings of "need" to the thing he actually "needs" and so when that "need" feeling comes up he thinks food instead of the thing that would actually fill the need.
Just thought I would throw some suggestions out there. It can be tough helping a little guy figure out what his body requires when his physical cues might be messed up from the inability to use them properly. You might also want to help his develop a digestion vocabulary. Talk about your own bodies feelings so he can think about or explain how his body might be feeling. "My tummy is so full it feels tight I think I ate too much." "When I eat too much fiber my bowels on my sides cramp and my poo comes fast.." "when I eat spicy foods my tummy feels all full of acid and burns." What ever is happening give it a name and a feeling and a result and talk about how his body might react. Creating dialog helps create awareness with out any need for the child to feel they are being accused or blamed ro shamed or what have you.
Just ideas feel free to toss them.
Teresa
__________________________________________________________________
Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at http://ca.answers.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kate
I'm not an adoptive parent so I can't speak to that issue specifically.
But I offer my daughter food whenever she wants it. She is 13 months.
I have found that if I give her what she needs (NOT wants...i.e. I
don't let her play with the knives I use to cut the food up, though
she would if I allowed it) she does not cry or beg or act clingy. She
is content and free to do whatever she needs -- exploring her world,
typically.
She is very picky right now too...lucky for me with healthy food.
Some have told me "you have to teach her to sit in her chair for meal
times and you must offer her whatever you are serving and if she
doesn't eat it she can go hungry." This doesn't work for us at all.
I serve her what I know she'll eat and if she doesn't I assume she is
not hungry. I let her do a LOT of things most people wouldn't. I let
her stand up in her high chair and climb on it (while I was watching).
She only had to fall once to stop trying. Maybe that sounds mean but
the alternative was to constantly yell at her, take away her food
(she'd turn around and grab another bite, then turn back to play, she
was still hungry), hit her, etc. whatever people do to "teach" kids to
stop doing things like that. I just ignore her and after she fell I
comforted her and now she does not do it.
Anyway -- your son will learn to self-regulate in time and natural
consequences (i.e. feeling sick) will teach him soon enough what is
enough and when to stop.
Why with hold food? If he is making himself sick he will soon learn
that being sick doesn't feel good and he will stop eating quite so much.
--Kate
Mommy to Rebekah, 1-26-08
Baby #2 due 7-26-09
But I offer my daughter food whenever she wants it. She is 13 months.
I have found that if I give her what she needs (NOT wants...i.e. I
don't let her play with the knives I use to cut the food up, though
she would if I allowed it) she does not cry or beg or act clingy. She
is content and free to do whatever she needs -- exploring her world,
typically.
She is very picky right now too...lucky for me with healthy food.
Some have told me "you have to teach her to sit in her chair for meal
times and you must offer her whatever you are serving and if she
doesn't eat it she can go hungry." This doesn't work for us at all.
I serve her what I know she'll eat and if she doesn't I assume she is
not hungry. I let her do a LOT of things most people wouldn't. I let
her stand up in her high chair and climb on it (while I was watching).
She only had to fall once to stop trying. Maybe that sounds mean but
the alternative was to constantly yell at her, take away her food
(she'd turn around and grab another bite, then turn back to play, she
was still hungry), hit her, etc. whatever people do to "teach" kids to
stop doing things like that. I just ignore her and after she fell I
comforted her and now she does not do it.
Anyway -- your son will learn to self-regulate in time and natural
consequences (i.e. feeling sick) will teach him soon enough what is
enough and when to stop.
Why with hold food? If he is making himself sick he will soon learn
that being sick doesn't feel good and he will stop eating quite so much.
--Kate
Mommy to Rebekah, 1-26-08
Baby #2 due 7-26-09
--- In [email protected], "Jenny C" <jenstarc4@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> > By giving him a choice you are doing nothing wrong. You are helping to
> > give him such extra structure and teaching him not to be excessive. I
> would
> > have said yes to 2, but not all 3.
>
> Why though? What purpose would it serve to say yes to 2, but not 3?
> Sometimes kids like to explore certain flavors together. For a little
> one who was deprived of food, that could be especially true. Babies
> explore by tasting and differentiating between what is and isn't food.
> If that wasn't available, they are still needing to explore that.
>
> No person can teach another what is excessive or not. It's totally
> personal to the individual body and needs of that body. Some kids eat a
> lot even if they were never deprived of food. My friend's little kid,
> at the age of 3 and 4 ate twice as much food as I did for every meal.
> She's almost 15 now and is super tall and skinny.
>
> I am an adoptive parent as well and we
> > brought our oldest daughter home at 18 months. At that time she was
> our
> > only child and we allowed her to have everything she could possibly
> want.
> > That's how she stayed overweight for about one year.
>
> How does anyone know that a 3 or 4 yr old is overweight? Is it by how
> they look? Is it by how much they weigh? Will they really stay that
> way after a couple of years? The child mentioned above was a huge baby
> and a very round little kid, she was extremely heavy, very solid. She
> still weighs a lot, but she's not overweight by any means, she very very
> thin and has a hard time finding pants tiny enough around the waist and
> still long enough for her super long legs. How could anyone have
> predicted that when she was 3 or 4? There is only one other really tall
> person in her family.
>
> I have a really hard time accepting someone calling a little kid
> overweight, even for a year. Kids are growing and changing all the
> time. One year a kid may be very round and the next they may grow tall.
>
> Then I saw that I
> > wasn't helping her to give into her every demand for food and started
> saying
> > no and helping to implement healthy choices. She's almost 10 now and
> is a
> > healthy happy little girl who is very bonded to her Daddy and I.
>
> Being 10 and bonded is great, but it has nothing to do with food issues.
> Just because you've implemented "healthy" choices, doesn't mean that you
> will ever control what your child eats or how it will affect her. 10 is
> still young, the teen years are looming ahead. A healthy 10 yr old
> eating what her parents see as healthy will NOT garauntee that it will
> produce a healthy 14 yr old happily eating what her parents deem
> healthy.
>
> I object to the idea of "giving into" demands of a child. As parents,
> we can either be their partners and help them get what they want or we
> can set life up so that everything is doled out by the parents and
> requested by the child and given at the parent's discretion. It doesn't
> help natural learning when a child can't make the decision for
> themselves as to what is good and healthy and enough.
>
Dawn
"If your son is constantly eating past the point where he is full, you
could try offering transition activities. Instead of "you have had
enough", try "after you finish, lets play a game." It might help him
move on, without limits or worry that the food is being taken away."
Yes! This is another thing we do. :) It works very well. Just make
sure that your child understands that food will is readily available
ANYTIME he asks.
dawn:)
could try offering transition activities. Instead of "you have had
enough", try "after you finish, lets play a game." It might help him
move on, without limits or worry that the food is being taken away."
Yes! This is another thing we do. :) It works very well. Just make
sure that your child understands that food will is readily available
ANYTIME he asks.
dawn:)
Sandra Dodd
-=-"If your son is constantly eating past the point where he is full,
you
could try offering transition activities. Instead of "you have had
enough", try "after you finish, lets play a game." It might help him
move on, without limits or worry that the food is being taken away."-=-
Sometimes it helps us to offer to put some away for later. Either we
mark it with the person's name or they decide they don't care who eats
it later. But it's a little like offering to record a TV program.
They might never want to watch it, but it does solve the immediate
indecision.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
you
could try offering transition activities. Instead of "you have had
enough", try "after you finish, lets play a game." It might help him
move on, without limits or worry that the food is being taken away."-=-
Sometimes it helps us to offer to put some away for later. Either we
mark it with the person's name or they decide they don't care who eats
it later. But it's a little like offering to record a TV program.
They might never want to watch it, but it does solve the immediate
indecision.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Verna
> Sometimes it helps us to offer to put some away for later. Eitherwe
> mark it with the person's name or they decide they don't care whoeats
> it later. But it's a little like offering to record a TVprogram.
> They might never want to watch it, but it does solve the immediatewe do do this and he has on an occasion or two chosen to save
> indecision.
>
> Sandra
>
something. we will put it in a baggie and either leave it at his
place at the table or put it in the fridge. we get a little chuckle
because he will come back within just a few minutes and eat it, but
it is a start.
after reading many of the suggestions on here, I realize he has made
progress in the past 1 1/2 years. for the past couple days I have
been giving him what he asks for whenever he does and both last night
and this afternoon he left a little food on his plate by the end of
the day.
I also found that if he has been eating alot but asks for things
because someone else is eating it... it doesnt take much of the item
to make him happy.
thanks for all your suggestions and stories.
Sandra Dodd
http://sandradodd.com/chats/food
Soon (or you've missed it, depending when you read this).
There will probably be a transcript put up.
And there's a contest. The winner or winners will get to choose from some prizes I'll list
between now and the 15th of March.
The contest is the best image of a monkey platter.
http://aboutunschooling.blogspot.com/2009/02/food-freedom-chat-and-contest.html
I've never photographed one of mine, but I'll do that around the 15th too and add mine to the
collection. For many people, words are not what does it when it comes to food. If we can
show a range of monkey platters, kids everywhere might snack better!
Sandra
Soon (or you've missed it, depending when you read this).
There will probably be a transcript put up.
And there's a contest. The winner or winners will get to choose from some prizes I'll list
between now and the 15th of March.
The contest is the best image of a monkey platter.
http://aboutunschooling.blogspot.com/2009/02/food-freedom-chat-and-contest.html
I've never photographed one of mine, but I'll do that around the 15th too and add mine to the
collection. For many people, words are not what does it when it comes to food. If we can
show a range of monkey platters, kids everywhere might snack better!
Sandra
emiLy Q.
We say "done for now" and the plate gets put in the pantry because food left
out gets eaten by our pets.
I still haven't figured out a plate/platter/container that's kid accessible
but not dog accessible.
-emiLy
out gets eaten by our pets.
I still haven't figured out a plate/platter/container that's kid accessible
but not dog accessible.
-emiLy
k
>>>> I still haven't figured out a plate/platter/container that's kid accessiblebut not dog accessible. <<<<
Do you have a tupperware veggies & dip container with a lid?
~Katherine
On 2/28/09, emiLy Q. <emilyjo@...> wrote:
> We say "done for now" and the plate gets put in the pantry because food left
> out gets eaten by our pets.
>
> I still haven't figured out a plate/platter/container that's kid accessible
> but not dog accessible.
>
>
> -emiLy
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-We say "done for now" and the plate gets put in the pantry because
food left
out gets eaten by our pets.-=-
This interests me. Do the cats get on the table or does the dog climb
up, or what?
Are the pets really hungry? Do they not have food down all the time?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
food left
out gets eaten by our pets.-=-
This interests me. Do the cats get on the table or does the dog climb
up, or what?
Are the pets really hungry? Do they not have food down all the time?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lyla Wolfenstein
-=-We say "done for now" and the plate gets put in the pantry because
food left
out gets eaten by our pets.-=-
This interests me. Do the cats get on the table or does the dog climb
up, or what?
Are the pets really hungry? Do they not have food down all the time?
she is awful that way, and it's really frustrating. it did preclude anything like a monkey platter when the kids were toddlers/young, unless we locked her up, which we did do sometimes. she would even gently take food out of their hands if they were walking around with it!
warmly, Lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
food left
out gets eaten by our pets.-=-
This interests me. Do the cats get on the table or does the dog climb
up, or what?
Are the pets really hungry? Do they not have food down all the time?
>>>>>>>>>sandra, i don't know about the OP, but we have two dogs, one of whom WILL literally climb ONTO the dining table to eat any food left out, and yes her bowl is always available, but she definitely prefers human food by far. she will also stand on her hind legs and use her front paw to "scoot" the butter dish, or any food left too close to the edge into her reach zone.
she is awful that way, and it's really frustrating. it did preclude anything like a monkey platter when the kids were toddlers/young, unless we locked her up, which we did do sometimes. she would even gently take food out of their hands if they were walking around with it!
warmly, Lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-sandra, i don't know about the OP, but we have two dogs, one of
whom WILL literally climb ONTO the dining table to eat any food left
out, and yes her bowl is always available, but she definitely prefers
human food by far. she will also stand on her hind legs and use her
front paw to "scoot" the butter dish, or any food left too close to
the edge into her reach zone.-=-
We let our dog get on the couch or the beds. I can't imagine letting
the dog or the cats get on the table, though. They don't. The cats
were swept off and hissed at and the dog was told NO in the
"seriously, no" way, and they just don't. They're territorial
animals, so they understand the idea of "not my territory" if you divy
the house up with them in a nice but dominant way.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
whom WILL literally climb ONTO the dining table to eat any food left
out, and yes her bowl is always available, but she definitely prefers
human food by far. she will also stand on her hind legs and use her
front paw to "scoot" the butter dish, or any food left too close to
the edge into her reach zone.-=-
We let our dog get on the couch or the beds. I can't imagine letting
the dog or the cats get on the table, though. They don't. The cats
were swept off and hissed at and the dog was told NO in the
"seriously, no" way, and they just don't. They're territorial
animals, so they understand the idea of "not my territory" if you divy
the house up with them in a nice but dominant way.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Well...we don't LET them. But if we don't want to be constantly watching and saying NO we can't leave food out. Not sure what kind of dogs u have but our lab defintely responds to dominance, while our pointer is quite 'spirited'...
lyla
lyla
Brandi Jones
-=-sandra, i don't know about the OP, but we have two dogs, one of
whom WILL literally climb ONTO the dining table to eat any food left
out, and yes her bowl is always available, but she definitely prefers
human food by far. she will also stand on her hind legs and use her
front paw to "scoot" the butter dish, or any food left too close to
the edge into her reach zone.-=-
-=-We let our dog get on the couch or the beds. I can't imagine letting
the dog or the cats get on the table, though. They don't. The cats
were swept off and hissed at and the dog was told NO in the
"seriously, no" way, and they just don't. They're territorial
animals, so they understand the idea of "not my territory" if you divy
the house up with them in a nice but dominant way.-=-
This thread really interests me because I love the idea of monkey platters
but we have 3 very large dogs that don't need to stand on their hind legs to
have their heads on the counter, in the sink, or on the table. They always
have food and water available and they still take food. Our greyhound is
getting very brave and will even take it from the kids when they are eating
if DH or I aren't right there. I've just had to keep food put away unless
we are eating it or put the dogs out but I can't have them out all day; it's
too hot here in AZ for that and they are part of the family. I liked the
links Schuyler sent but I'm pretty sure they could get the lids off fairly
easily. LOL
Brandi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
whom WILL literally climb ONTO the dining table to eat any food left
out, and yes her bowl is always available, but she definitely prefers
human food by far. she will also stand on her hind legs and use her
front paw to "scoot" the butter dish, or any food left too close to
the edge into her reach zone.-=-
-=-We let our dog get on the couch or the beds. I can't imagine letting
the dog or the cats get on the table, though. They don't. The cats
were swept off and hissed at and the dog was told NO in the
"seriously, no" way, and they just don't. They're territorial
animals, so they understand the idea of "not my territory" if you divy
the house up with them in a nice but dominant way.-=-
This thread really interests me because I love the idea of monkey platters
but we have 3 very large dogs that don't need to stand on their hind legs to
have their heads on the counter, in the sink, or on the table. They always
have food and water available and they still take food. Our greyhound is
getting very brave and will even take it from the kids when they are eating
if DH or I aren't right there. I've just had to keep food put away unless
we are eating it or put the dogs out but I can't have them out all day; it's
too hot here in AZ for that and they are part of the family. I liked the
links Schuyler sent but I'm pretty sure they could get the lids off fairly
easily. LOL
Brandi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]