Amanda Horein

I have 2 girls. Marti is the oldest and she will be 8 in July. Lilly is 4
1/2. We are having a little issue that I am at a loss about.

Lilly likes to play with Marti. She wants her attention quite a bit. Marti
blows her off on a regular basis, lately. I do my best to step in and say
"Lilly, lets go play". I catch it nearly all of the time, say 90% or so. A
lot of times though, I am just not what Lilly wants. Any ideas on how I can
explain to Lilly that Marti doesn't want to play with her without hurting
feelings?

--
Amanda
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Sandra Dodd

-=-Lilly likes to play with Marti. She wants her attention quite a
bit. Marti
blows her off on a regular basis, lately. I do my best to step in and
say
"Lilly, lets go play". I catch it nearly all of the time, say 90% or
so. A
lot of times though, I am just not what Lilly wants. Any ideas on how
I can
explain to Lilly that Marti doesn't want to play with her without
hurting
feelings?-=-



I would do more talking to Marti than Lilly about it. And not to try
to get her to let Lilly play all the time, but to sometimes give
Lilly special attention, for Marti to play with Lilly, instead of
"letting Lilly play with Marti." There's a big difference and an
eight year old is likely able to understand it.

In exchange for that, then you could give her lots of uninterrupted
time so that Lilly starts to see that sometimes Marti needs time
alone, but it won't be a long series of "no" with an occasional "yes."

Also, I bet they could get along better outside the house, away from
Marti's possessions and space. Go to a mall or store, but schedule
enough extra time (you don't need to tell the girls) that they can
play around on a bench or a planter around trees, or somewhere
outside where they can jump and climb and run a little bit, where the
two of them are doing something in a new and interesting setting. I
was picturing things outside a mall near me, where if you park a
little far you pass by some stuff. Or go out a door that's NOT
nearest your car. See what you see. Ramps, stairs.

Go for a picnic, or to feed birds or prairie dogs. (depending where
you are)

Throw rocks in a pond or river. (ditto--some places have rocks, no
water; some water, no rocks)

Sandra

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Joanna Murphy

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

...or to feed birds or prairie dogs.

Can you really go feed prairie dogs? What do they eat? I'm fascinated...

Joanna

Sandra Dodd

-=-Can you really go feed prairie dogs? What do they eat? I'm
fascinated...-=-

Well... The answer is "it depends," and this could lead to a eco-
philosophical dilemma or three. But rather than expound on prairie
dogs, I can provide these two links:

http://sandradodd.com/prairiedogs
http://sandradodd.com/people/hannahjenner

And where prairie dogs live by freeway exits, some will live up near
the traffic light and... I started to say "beg," but they're not
begging. I guess they're hinting--looking hopeful and expectant.
And sometimes people will throw things out to them. I'll try to get
photo of some of those later this summer.

Sandra



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Pamela Sorooshian

On Apr 11, 2008, at 8:09 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:

> I would do more talking to Marti than Lilly about it. And not to try
> to get her to let Lilly play all the time, but to sometimes give
> Lilly special attention, for Marti to play with Lilly, instead of
> "letting Lilly play with Marti." There's a big difference and an
> eight year old is likely able to understand it.

I got Roya to try out playing with Roxana for an hour first thing in
the day. Roxana really needed a LOT of pretend-play and got hard-to-
get-along-with when she didn't enough of it. If they played an intense
pretend-play hour in the morning, the rest of the day always went
noticeably more smoothly. Roya could tell that it was much better, so
she was willing.

-pam




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Sandra Dodd

-=-I got Roya to try out playing with Roxana for an hour first thing in
the day. Roxana really needed a LOT of pretend-play and got hard-to-
get-along-with when she didn't enough of it. If they played an intense
pretend-play hour in the morning, the rest of the day always went
noticeably more smoothly. Roya could tell that it was much better, so
she was willing.-=-



That sounds like a really good way to do it. Early in the day.

With us, I would ask Kirby to do something Marty liked for a while
sometimes. And occasionally I would offer Kirby money to distract
Marty while I needed to do something else. He would read to him, or
play something strenuous outside. The difference between those times
and the play-by-choice times were a little like a practice job for
Kirby. It was always optional. Sometimes he wanted money to buy
Ninja Turtles.



Sandra

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C Johnson

In Lawton, Oklahoma the prairie dogs like bread and cheerios :-)

BB,
Chrissie

Joanna Murphy <ridingmom@...> wrote:
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

...or to feed birds or prairie dogs.

Can you really go feed prairie dogs? What do they eat? I'm fascinated...

Joanna






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