-=-On a side note, you mentioned to someone that you don't like NVC. I am very curious to know what it is that bothers you.-=-
It's scripted. It puts a filter between the parent and child. It was never designed for parent/child communications anyway.
I think it creates false peace, and hampers direct communication.
Sandra, in an e-mail in February, 2011
From a 2009 e-mail (name not saved):
From an interview:
What’s your perspective on non-violent communication?I don't like the false overlay "NVC" puts on the world. I've seen people fail to have direct presence and mindfulness because they were mentally trying to label people and judge their expressions of feeling or desire. I prefer people be compassionate and flexible about communicating with others, rather than to pre-decide there is only one way they will communicate or accept being communicated with.
Meredith Novak, contributing to a list of "priorities than can hamper unschooling":
Specific parenting/communication strategies! Like Non-violent communication (NVC), or consensus processing. When sticking to a particular format for problem solving becomes more important than real people with real needs. Somewhat ironically, the NVC, consensus, and non-coercion folks seem to be the most likely to try to talk their kids into submission, explaining and explaining and explaining until the kids give in (if they're lucky).
I believe that Sandra has said (multiple times) that nonviolent communication (NVC) can get in the way of unschooling, because people get caught up in the NVC rules or insist that their children follow the method. NVC is often touted as a gentle parenting technique.
From a discussion preserved here: Other Ideas
Being your child's partner How to Raise a Respected Child Remember your choices