Dads and UnschoolingBits and Links for Unschooling Dads
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James H. Coburn IV (and Jayn) |
An Excellent Intro to Radical Unschooling
Tim Gutteridge started a blog in late 2011. He wrote a very clear description of unschooling. The blog itself is called Breakfast with Diamonds
A young dad's life-changing first impression of unschoolers at a conference
"I arrived this week halfway thinking this would be the tipping point that convinced Marianne and me to put our son back in school (he attended public school for kindergarten, but he has been spending his first grade year at home), and things did tip, but in the other direction..."Waterpark, Educational Development and A Wake-up Call
Also by Sean Heritage, in reference to a talk Kelly Lovejoy gave: Curling: Sweepers, Sweepers Man Your Brooms
| There is a movie called Between the Folds:
http://www.greenfusefilms.com/
It is a cool film about folding paper, but in it is a young man named
http://erikdemaine.org/Erik Demaine, a Canadian unschooler who is now a professor at MIT, and who still works closely with his father who is a glass blower and artist. Perhaps your husband would find Erik's dedication to his passion interesting, as well as the strong bond between he and his father as a result of their chosen way of life.
My husband met Erik and his dad at MIT, and said he was taken with how inspired they were and how close. It might be good for your husband to see more inspirational stories. That is one that I can think of. —Karen James
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Unschooling - a view from the corporate office
Part of a talk Phil Biegler gave at the Northeast Unschooling Conference (NEUC) in August 2010, with an intro, on his family's blog.
Living and Learning as a Father in an Unschooling Family
Drew, unschooling father of three, writes about unschooling from the point of view of a teacher (and more).
Unauthorised Dad Handbook
An Unauthorised Guide for Unschooling Mums dealing with (still developing) Unschooling Dads, by Arun, at The Parenting Pit
Cartalk's Thomas L. Magliozzi and "The New Theory of Learning"
http://www.cartalk.com/content/rant-and-rave-36It's one of the "Car Talk" radio guys discussing what he calls a "new theory of learning" or "backwards learning." Sounds a lot like unschooling.
| On Being a Father Frank Maier wrote, on Father's Day in 2009: Just as unschooling is, for us, more of a weltanschauung than merely an educational philosophy, being a father is more than just having children. To me, it means being a husband and partner to my exquisite wife, Ronnie. We're a team. It certainly means being a father to my girls. We're a team. The four of us together comprise another variant on the team theme. Being a father also means participating in, and belonging to, the world around me and not just sitting quietly, being an observer. I have learned from my family and blossomed within my own inner geography as much as the kids have blossomed and grown into the wide world around them. As with most kinds of growth, it's difficult to see the changes on a daily or short-term basis. It's when you look back over a longer period that you really see, and are amazed by, the amount of growth that has happened.
(if that's gone, here's a backup) The Blogs of some Male Unschooling Parents: Singularity, Frank Maier
Just a Bald Man, by Jeff Sabo Breakfast with diamonds Thoughts and reflections on living without school, by Tim Gutteridge The Parenting Pit , Arun (who had one child go to school, maybe not forever) up up and away in afghanistan, Mike John, in Oregon the husband of Jenny Cyphers A book recommendation from Ben Lovejoy: Kelly ordered a new book for me (and the house) which I think will interest you if you're so inclined. Before I give you the title, let me share some of the points I've read in the past 20 minutes reading this book. "Today's kids are not ADD, they're EOE: Engage Me or Enrage Me. "Like all of us, including the adults who spend countless hours perfecting golfing, fishing, and other hobby skills, kids love to learn when it isn't forced on them. In fact, because their brains are still growing, kids probably love this *non-forced learning* even more than the rest of us. This is why game designer Raph Koster says that the *fun* kids are always seeking is really a synonym for *unforced learning*." As stated by James Paul Gee, Tashia Morgridge Professor of Reading at the University of Wisconsin-Madison writes in his Foreword: "(the author) knows that game designers have learned to harness deep and powerful learning—learning in the sense of problem solving, decision making, hypothesizing, and strategizing—as a form of fun, pleasure, engagemeent, even *flow*". |
Jeff Sabo
Jeff's thoughts on control and expectations. I can't find a small piece to quote that represents the whole writing. It's not very long, though. Please read it directly:http://justabaldman.blogspot.com/2009/04/expectations.html
Ben Lovejoy
Ben Lovejoy, on Living by Principles instead of by rules. Don't think Ben might be some wimpy dad who can't stand rules; he's a Lieutenant Colonel in the South Carolina Air National Guard, and went to the Citadel, and grew up as rulebound as anyone could. He has experience in the matter of living by rules.Also by Ben Lovejoy:
Following Our Passions to Bonnaroo
A Look Back
The Stories of Our Families
Lyle Perry
Lyle is a dad who wrote a lot for a while and then went to live in Utah and have fun with his family. Some of his writings are here: Lyle 2011 update: The family is in Florida, the oldest son is a writer (genetics!), the mom is having medical problems and the dad is fully attentive and cooking and cleaning and keeping their lives stable and happy!
John Holt
John Holt's writing is the basis of unschooling, along with the findings of other school reformers from the 1960's. You can read his own words and not need it filtered through a bunch of moms. (He wasn't a dad, but he was a guy.)Bob Collier
Parental Intelligence site. Quote from his intro:Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground....As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.
Bob Collier, on playing dolls with his daughter
[This comment was made in a discussion linked below, but can stand alone.]
James D. APRIL 24, 2010
I went the traditional schooling route all the way to a Cambridge (England) Maths degree. I am now an unschooling dad.
Some observations:
I did very well at school because I was quite happy to pay attention to what was put in front of me and I didn’t get too angry about having to sit through the occasional stuff that I didn’t find interesting. Also, while I had interests that weren’t well catered for in school, I was content to restrict the time I spent doing them to what remained after school and at a weekends. I had no particular sense of direction or urgency (until I was about 40 in fact). So I was OK with school, but I don’t imagine that all children approach it that way, so there may be children (many? I don’t know) who need to do things differently.
“Should” they be forced to do it the “normal” school way? I can’t see any moral or practical advantage in forcing them. School is a very inaccurate flight simulator for real life. Why teach children to learn to fly a school when you could be letting them learn to fly real life? I would not want to fly in a plane whose pilot had been taught in a simulator that inaccurate.
If there is much value in what is taught in schools beyond basic literacy and numeracy, it is in the process of getting interested and developing one’s interest in things, not in the practical application of what is learned. I still work my way through Maths textbooks for fun (the ones I missed first time round because my school thought they were old-fashioned and unimportant) but I never use it in my work. I teach adult learners in the workplace. They are generally high-performing professionals. Most of them had successful conventional educations, and most of them are at least a bit neurotic.
One recent example was someone who came from a traveller family, totally “failed” at school, and became a semi-pro drummer for a while. In early adulthood he decided he wanted to be a lawyer. He set his sights high - Cambridge law degree. So he studied for his A-levels, got top grades, got his law degree (top marks), got into a good chambers, qualified as a barrister and became very successful. The whole process took about a third of the time a conventional school, university, chambers process would have taken.
He was not unschooled at all, but his story shows that the conventional stairway to heaven is not the only route and that people can and do leap up it three steps at a time if they want, and when they’re ready. People can gain access to any depth of subject matter expertise when they need it these days - it is not necessary to make human sacrifices in order to earn the right.
The only risk arising from unschooling would be if children weren’t made aware of the diversity of things they could possibly get interested in. But as Sandra points out in her references to “strewing”, creating that awareness of diverse possibilities is part of the job. You just don’t push it until people are sick of it.
Makes sense to me. Read more: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/04/why_i_unschooled_my_three_kids.php?page=3#ixzz0m4lAcKY4
Leaning on a Truck
"Women talk face to face, they say, but men lean side by side on a truck. Another version of leaning on a truck is fishing: facing the same way, doing the same thing. Traditionally these days parents and children move in different spheres and do different things, but unschooling families mix ages and activities...." Doing Two Things at Once or, Leaning on a Truck and other parallel play
Discussion Lists for Dads
These groups aren't very active, but they probably wouldn't mind having new members stir it up!
Unschooling Dads
This group is for dads who are unschooling and for dads who have doubts, questions, fears about it.
Secret Society of Unschooling Dads
"This group is for Unschooling Dads, Granddads, and Dads-to-be who have attended one of the past three Live and Learn Conferences OR who have spouses who attended one of these conferences. Other unschooling fathers (et al.) can also join the group through invitation. Our intention is to keep a running dialog and passion for unschooling our children between conferences."
Bob Collier, on playing Polly Pocket with his daughter
On the Always Learning list, a mom asked for help to play dolls with her daughter. She had forgotten how, if she ever knew, and didn't like the plastic dolls. The discussion is here, but Bob's response was wonderful:
This is what I did.
Close my eyes. Imagine my daughter. She's having fun. I love to see my daughter having fun. It feels good. Oh, and I'm there too. I'm having fun. I love to see me having fun. That feels good. My daughter's having fun. I'm having fun. What a wonderful feeling! Now I'm looking closer in my imagination to see what it is we're doing that's so much fun. We're playing with Polly Pockets. Open my eyes.
Next time Bronwyn says to me, "Will you play Polly Pockets with me?" - of course I will! I want that wonderful feeling again. So there I am, a six foot guy with a beard lying on the floor with a little girl playing Polly Pockets, smiling and laughing and making silly stuff up as I go along. My daughter's happy. She can see that I love what she loves because it's written all over my face. And I really do. Who knew Polly Pockets could be so much fun? The Polly Pockets though are just the excuse. Not the cause.
Bob
I used to love playing Polly Pockets with my daughter. Years ago now (she's 25).
Gifts for Guys to Buy
Gifts for Guys to Buy is a short bit on playthings and gifts from hardware, sporting goods and auto parts stores. Some men don't do Toys 'R Us but some kids prefer REAL stuff anyway!