tracy

My DS is 8 and loves to game and has done quit alot of it since we
began unschooling alittle more than a year ago. He has all the
equipment he needs, all the games he desires and still...he is bored.
YES we do other things, he has a few friends he loves to play with,we
read, experiment,jump on tramp,shop,bake,experiment,build...I strew
(is that how ya spell it?),I make sugguestions. We explore our world
locally. What did you do when this happened in your family? He is VERY
frustrated and angry about feeling "bored". Not easy to live with.

Development wise...he is yet to read. I believe he has alot of
frustration about that, so of course I read alot to him and play games
with him...I want to help him through but I also feel totally
powerless to do so.

Thanks~ Tracy in SC

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 19, 2006, at 8:06 AM, tracy wrote:

> My DS is 8 and loves to game and has done quit alot of it since we
> began unschooling alittle more than a year ago. He has all the
> equipment he needs, all the games he desires and still...he is bored.
> YES we do other things, he has a few friends he loves to play with,we
> read, experiment,jump on tramp,shop,bake,experiment,build...I strew
> (is that how ya spell it?),I make sugguestions. We explore our world
> locally. What did you do when this happened in your family? He is VERY
> frustrated and angry about feeling "bored". Not easy to live with.

Are there other kids who can come and play with him? Are there
things he might do like swim classes or sports or karate or cut
scouts or art classes or music? If he gets where other kids are and
meets some kids and families, he might have places to go and people
to invite.

-=-Development wise...he is yet to read. I believe he has alot of
frustration about that, so of course I read alot to him and play games
with him-=-

Maybe that's the wrong course. If reading (inability) is
stressful, reading to him and playing games that involve reading will
be a reminder. Does he like movies? You didn't mention movies.
You can discuss the same ideas, art, language, plot, character, drama/
comedy you could discuss after reading a book if you do it after a
movie. Maybe you could do a theme (one movie at a time, letting his
preferences change the plan anytime). If he liked Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory, that could go toward more movies by the same
director (Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, Peewee's Big
Adventure) or to other Johnny Depp or to other special effects movies.

You didn't mention music. Might he like musicals? Little Shop of
Horrors? Wizard of Oz? Peter Pan with Martin? That one could lead
to other Peter Pan DVDs.

Sandra
(and just in case you didn't see this one: http://sandradodd.com/
BoredNoMore )

Daniel MacIntyre

I know this probably won't help very much, but boredom is not necessarily a
bad thing. Boredom is a motivator and often leads to exploration of the
world around you and opportunities for learning and growth. Eventually he
may simply *do something* on his own to relieve the boredom and in the
process expand his horizons.

On 1/19/06, tracy <tracyliebmann@...> wrote:
>
> My DS is 8 and loves to game and has done quit alot of it since we
> began unschooling alittle more than a year ago. He has all the
> equipment he needs, all the games he desires and still...he is bored.
> YES we do other things, he has a few friends he loves to play with,we
> read, experiment,jump on tramp,shop,bake,experiment,build...I strew
> (is that how ya spell it?),I make sugguestions. We explore our world
> locally. What did you do when this happened in your family? He is VERY
> frustrated and angry about feeling "bored". Not easy to live with.
>
> Development wise...he is yet to read. I believe he has alot of
> frustration about that, so of course I read alot to him and play games
> with him...I want to help him through but I also feel totally
> powerless to do so.
>
> Thanks~ Tracy in SC
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


--
Daniel
( Blogging at http://key-words.blogspot.com/ )

"When the solution is simple, God is answering."
Albert Einstein


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 19, 2006, at 9:31 AM, Daniel MacIntyre wrote:

> Eventually he
> may simply *do something* on his own to relieve the boredom and in the
> process expand his horizons.


While this is true, in the context of unschooling if a child is bored
the parents probably need to be doing more.
And from a mindful parenting point of view if we replace boredom with
another emotion, it seems cruel.

Eventually he may "do something" on his own to relieve the fear and
in the process expand his horizons.
Eventually he may "do something" on his own to relieve the sorrow and
in the process expand his horizons.
Eventually he may "do something" on his own to relieve the depression
and in the process expand his horizons.
Eventually he may "do something" on his own to relieve the
embarrassment and in the process expand his horizons.

I never used to think of boredom as an emotion until another
unschooling mom described it that way. Before then, I think I
considered it the way my parents and grandparents did. Boredom was
just a sin. Boredom was ingratitude, lack of intelligence, whining.
An expression of boredom was the same as saying "I don't have enough
chores--make me mop the kitchen."

American culture has a deep Puritan undercurrent. We have a
separation of church and state, but our language and culture are
infused with hidden sins.

Sandra

Cally Brown

I think boredom is a very ill-defined emotion in our culture (and I'm
talking the wider european derived culture - New Zealand as well as
American) and I think that some of the reason for that is exactly what
Sandra said....

>I never used to think of boredom as an emotion until another
>unschooling mom described it that way. Before then, I think I
>considered it the way my parents and grandparents did. Boredom was
>just a sin. Boredom was ingratitude, lack of intelligence, whining.
>An expression of boredom was the same as saying "I don't have enough
>chores--make me mop the kitchen."
>
However, there is, I think, another aspect to boredom. I have seen in my
own life, and in the lives of my children (now aged 15, 18, 22, 24), how
boredom usually comes towards the end of a cycle. As one nears the end
of a period in one's life but haven't quite found the next thing to get
involved with / excited by. It is then a sort of restless, seeking
energy. You get twitchy and snappy and despondent and, well, bored! But
it seems to be, for some of us anyway, a necessary part of the journey.
That's not to say that a parent can't try to help by offering a
supportive, patient, listening ear, or by suggesting possibilities, or
what ever. I just don't think you should necessarily get too panicky
about it. One of my sons once said to me something along the lines of,
"I wish you wouldn't get so involved. Sometimes I feel sad or angry or
bored or frustrated, and that's just how life is. It's okay for you to
sympathise and listen, but I hate it that you always try to fix things."

So sometimes boredon is an emptiness that can be fixed by a parent
making life more interesting, by providing more or different
experiences, resources, whatever, but other times it is due to a period
of transition, and I don't think in that case there is much one can do
but refrain from snarling, "well, just go and find something to do!" and
just be loving and understanding and listen.

Cally

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 19, 2006, at 12:05 PM, Cally Brown wrote:

> However, there is, I think, another aspect to boredom. I have seen
> in my
> own life, and in the lives of my children (now aged 15, 18, 22,
> 24), how
> boredom usually comes towards the end of a cycle. As one nears the end
> of a period in one's life but haven't quite found the next thing to
> get
> involved with / excited by. It is then a sort of restless, seeking
> energy.


Good point. We just don't have a good word for that feeling.
In my life, as I got older and was better able to analyze and
articulate that, it felt like a cocooning time, like it was time to
be still and wait for something to arise. Now when I feel it, I
kinda clean up the house a little--nesting behavior, like cleaning
out some workspace for when the unknown whatever-it-is comes.

Maybe it's restless expectation.

But boredom seems more like dissatisfaction with surroundings and
opportunities.

Sandra

Cally Brown

That's right - but that's why it is so important to be careful about
reacting to that 'I'm bored statement' from our kids - we need to listen
and determine what exactly they are meaning.

cally

>Good point. We just don't have a good word for that feeling.
>In my life, as I got older and was better able to analyze and
>articulate that, it felt like a cocooning time, like it was time to
>be still and wait for something to arise. Now when I feel it, I
>kinda clean up the house a little--nesting behavior, like cleaning
>out some workspace for when the unknown whatever-it-is comes.
>
>Maybe it's restless expectation.
>
>But boredom seems more like dissatisfaction with surroundings and
>opportunities.
>

tracy

Thanks everyone who responded. My heart says it's more of a
transitional funk. The world is his oyster, but usually he likes to
hang close to home. He is not one to like clubs or sports. I asked
him if he wanted to go to the zoo (2 hours away) he said y-e-s-? So
we are planning that...he loves animals. We are watching the weather
hoping for snow somewhere within a 7 hour drive (NC) if that happens
we will load up and go. I just need to keep my expectations under
control (and my worries about him not reading ;-) )

Take care~ Tracy in SC












--- In [email protected], Cally Brown <mjcmbrwn@i...>
wrote:
>
> That's right - but that's why it is so important to be careful
about
> reacting to that 'I'm bored statement' from our kids - we need to
listen
> and determine what exactly they are meaning.
>
> cally
>
> >Good point. We just don't have a good word for that feeling.
> >In my life, as I got older and was better able to analyze and
> >articulate that, it felt like a cocooning time, like it was time
to
> >be still and wait for something to arise. Now when I feel it,
I
> >kinda clean up the house a little--nesting behavior, like
cleaning
> >out some workspace for when the unknown whatever-it-is comes.
> >
> >Maybe it's restless expectation.
> >
> >But boredom seems more like dissatisfaction with surroundings
and
> >opportunities.
> >
>

Daniel MacIntyre

Thank you Cally - this is what I was trying to express, but you did a MUCH
better job of it!

On 1/19/06, Cally Brown <mjcmbrwn@...> wrote:
>
> I think boredom is a very ill-defined emotion in our culture (and I'm
> talking the wider european derived culture - New Zealand as well as
> American) and I think that some of the reason for that is exactly what
> Sandra said....
>
> >I never used to think of boredom as an emotion until another
> >unschooling mom described it that way. Before then, I think I
> >considered it the way my parents and grandparents did. Boredom was
> >just a sin. Boredom was ingratitude, lack of intelligence, whining.
> >An expression of boredom was the same as saying "I don't have enough
> >chores--make me mop the kitchen."
> >
> However, there is, I think, another aspect to boredom. I have seen in my
> own life, and in the lives of my children (now aged 15, 18, 22, 24), how
> boredom usually comes towards the end of a cycle. As one nears the end
> of a period in one's life but haven't quite found the next thing to get
> involved with / excited by. It is then a sort of restless, seeking
> energy. You get twitchy and snappy and despondent and, well, bored! But
> it seems to be, for some of us anyway, a necessary part of the journey.
> That's not to say that a parent can't try to help by offering a
> supportive, patient, listening ear, or by suggesting possibilities, or
> what ever. I just don't think you should necessarily get too panicky
> about it. One of my sons once said to me something along the lines of,
> "I wish you wouldn't get so involved. Sometimes I feel sad or angry or
> bored or frustrated, and that's just how life is. It's okay for you to
> sympathise and listen, but I hate it that you always try to fix things."
>
> So sometimes boredon is an emptiness that can be fixed by a parent
> making life more interesting, by providing more or different
> experiences, resources, whatever, but other times it is due to a period
> of transition, and I don't think in that case there is much one can do
> but refrain from snarling, "well, just go and find something to do!" and
> just be loving and understanding and listen.
>
> Cally
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>


--
Daniel
( Blogging at http://key-words.blogspot.com/ )

"When the solution is simple, God is answering."
Albert Einstein


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]