How unschooling can change the parents.
In a side message someone wrote "It's amazing that the more that I immerse myself in & practice unschooling principles, the more that I'm able to empower myself to move through some rough patches."
That amazed a mom who is fairly new to unschooling, but it doesn't surprise me. I'm used to people finding that if they really can relax into a focus on learning, peace, joy, partnership, and other central principles, their entire life becomes easier.
Unschooling can make life better. Really, fully unschooling becomes more philosophical and spiritual than people expect it to.
Resisting unschooling, resisting partnership, resisting joy, resisting peace, clinging to negativity—I've seen people do that since I began unschooling 24 years ago. I have seen unschooling fail in many families. Almost always, it was because of negativity and adversarial relationships.
I would prefer that no one respond to this post who wants to argue in favor of negativity in any form. Negativity is never more than a click away, on the internet. Encouragement of being positive is much harder to find.
I'm going to add some links to collections of notes and writing about some topics that might help people who aren't used to these ideas yet, who aren't really unschooling, or who (for whatever reasons) have more negativity in their lives than they would like.
The writing above and many of the comments below are from the facebook group Radical Unschooling Info, November 25, 2014. If that's still there, you can go and see who liked what.
Unschooling was transformative not only to my parenting, but also to my life, and to our family life. One thing that really registered was considering family as community. This has stayed with us through the years. Now we are a family of adults living, sharing and enjoying our home together.
Unschooling has made me kinder to and more understanding of other people's children, too.
Unschooling has definitely changed my life for the better. Our family life is more peaceful and happy. I've stopped trying to control my husband (I had the best intentions at heart) and our marriage is more satisfying, we are much more connected and understanding of each other. I just let him be him and he lets me be me and we both work together for the good of the family.
Unschooling has made me more aware of my children as individuals and has taught me to appreciate their abilitys. I am able to watch them grown into the people their are meant to be, not what they might be forced to be by public schools.
We aren't unschooling, yet I've been reading here and elsewhere for 6 years for exactly this, the focus on peace, joy, partnership, saying yes, and other central principles. These principles add so much to every relationship, and help me to accept life's curveballs.
Unschooling has helped me to love my children better. Showing more love to my children has helped me to love ME better. Being more loving toward myself has helped me to be a much better and more loving partner. It's like a crazy upward spiral! Our marriage has benefitted tremendously!
Colleen Burns, thank you for writing this: "I never realized what marriage could be; our relationship has become so much deeper and more loving. Much of this is because of unschooling."
**Unschooling can make life better. Really, fully unschooling becomes more philosophical and spiritual than people expect it to.**I have acknowledged my experience of this before now when I first really 'got' and fully applied radical unschooling, and now with each day, month, year, this becomes stronger and stronger in my experience.
What you wrote is so true for me/ us as well! Thanks for sharing your rad. unschooling life on the web. It has been so inspiring for us!
I just wanted to add another link to this amazing set of insightful writings. As I was reading some of the links that you suggested here Sandra, they reminded me of this wonderful article you wrote last year about being a better partner. Thank you so much for writing and sharing it! My marriage is undoubtebly better because of all the wisdom you share so openly and generously with us. 🙂 Becoming a Better Partner
Negativity (which is also about positivity) Thoughts about doing better Stories of how Families Changed