Sandra, I thought I would forward this on to you anonymously—just in case you wanted to include it somewhere. She's a regular reader on your list, so I'm hesitant to give names. She'll mention it herself when she's ready, I'm sure.

But it's another thumbs up for Retrouvaille.

~Kelly

To: Kelly Lovejoy
Sent: Thu, Mar 11, 2010 9:34 am
Subject: Thanks

Hi Kelly.

Retrouvaille was a weekend of many eye opening discoveries, and the benefits have been great, opening much for us that was previously unattainable. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for telling us about Retrouvaille. In particular it has cleared up a great deal of strife in the area of religious hangups, something that has always been difficult for us to talk about other than to focus on disagreement. Talking about the feelings behind the thoughts has been pretty major!

Thanks again & Love to you and Ben

Someone complained with feeling that my page on divorce had a note from Kelly Lovejoy saying that Retrouvaille was free. When she and her husband looked into it, there was a registration fee, and they wanted donations. This was enough to tip that couple away from using the service.

So, for the record, there are an increasing number of these workshops in different parts of the country, and perhaps they aren't as cost-free as they were when Kelly and Ben went, years ago.

Find the money. It's less expensive than a lawyer, even if you make a fat donation. It's less expensive that one month of maintaining two houses.

From their website in early 2010:

What does the Program Cost?

Each couple is asked to make a donation to help cover the cost of the program. This one donation covers all the expenses of the weekend and the post-weekend sessions. Weekend lodging, meals and materials are all covered by this single donation.

Costs vary from location to location. Contact the Retrouvaille community closest to you for specific information about the amount of donation they request. A registration fee is required when you register for the program to confirm your accommodations. Space is limited so early registration is encouraged.

No couple is ever denied the chance to heal and renew their marriage because of lack of funds.

Hi, Sandra. My name is Sharon and my husband and I are the Community Coordinators for Seattle Retrouvaille. We had an information request come in that said they heard about Retrouvaille from your website. Curious, I tracked it down and found this: https://sandradodd.com/marriageretreats

Retrouvaille saved our marriage in 2015 and we have been involved with as volunteers ever since because we believe in it that much. But the group is all non-profit and 100% volunteer-run, so getting the word out is a challenge. People like you helping us to spread the word is priceless. Thank you!

Speaking of, I saw on your site that someone complained it's not free. We provide two nights and five meals in a hotel in addition to all of the teaching and mentoring that goes on. All four team couples plus our priest donate their time, not only on the weekend but for all the follow-up sessions and the various roles required to make Retrouvaille happen. It blows my mind that someone thinks it should be free. And although we have a registration fee and we ask for a donation, we never turn a couple away for lack of funds. Couples routinely give extra so we have a cushion that enables us to do this.

I say all that just in case it should ever come up again.

In any case, thank you once again for helping us out!!

• Unschooling Spouses (some encouraging words and images)
• Some reality checks concerning divorce
• Becoming a Better Partner
• If you're considering separation, read this
• Spouses—Unschooling can make us better partners!
• Uncomfortable Information—New page in 2022, about people's complaints about me, encouraging strong marriages to help unschooling work well
• An outside link with a great list of things to strengthen a marriage: The Best Advice on Marriage
  Here's one of the items on that list: "The happier you are with yourself, the more you bring to the marriage." (The website is gone, but the WayBack Machine saved it, so the list is still available. 🙂)