Growth and Change

At "Unschooling Discussion," in 2005, I wrote:

To get to the kinds of relationships being advocated here, a mom needs to let go of many things, two of which are the image of the person she wanted to be separate from her children, as though she didn't have children at all, and then get rid of the vision of her children as ideal mother-worshipping accessories.

Me/Sandra, about my kids, in 2004:

All my kids have quirks, and they've all learned ways to deal with them. I helped, but they aren't just doing what I told them to do, either. I tried to help them experiment to see what helped, and then remember to try those things again in the future.

Some things they've grown out of. Some they've just learned not to whine about, but to deal with. Holly owns her own seam ripper, and when she gets new clothes she cuts the tag off, and has learned to figure out which kinds of fastenings she can finish off with a seam ripper (if the tag was sewn on with its own separate stitching) and if it involves opening a seam to get the tag out, she brings it to me to sew it back together.

I'm still willing to do that for her, but she's really enjoying doing it herself, at 12. She owns a real, specialized tool for a real job that actually makes her life better.

Some kids need more touching, or less. More darkness or quiet, or less. Cleaner sheets. Softer socks. Foods not mixed together. Foods cooked more, or less. Some don't care. But they can figure out how to arrange their lives to suit their needs, with help and respect and encouragement.

Sandra
(Other people's reports, before and after mine; click here.)

Below are some poetic thoughts that were divided and used on Just Add Light (stars are links, and photos below are, as well.) I think this was in a presentation I gave, but it would be nice if I would document better, for myself; for future self. Anyway, I wrote this, and then chopped it up. 🙂

We are here now.

We have been other places in the past.

We will be in surprising places in the future. *

Who you are, no one else can be.

Who you are now is not who you were before. Who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow.

Breathe and smile and step toward your future. *

You may pass through the same door again, but you will be different each time.

Where you are right now will never be exactly the same again. *

Those photos are links.

The top quote, about "the kinds of relationships being advocated here" is in a discussion that might be too deep or harsh, but for the record, what I have of it in an archive is linked here.

Thoughts on Changing

How Unschooling Changes People