Erica T

we are new to unschooling in SW Ohio. my daughter is in 11 and looking to connect with some other unschoolers. if you have a child interested, please email me, thanks!
Erica

Joyce Fetteroll

On Apr 21, 2011, at 12:15 PM, Erica T wrote:

> my daughter is in 11 and looking to connect with some other
> unschoolers.

It will be better to seek out others with interests in common.
Unschooling isn't any more of a common connection between kids than
school is ;-) My daughter's best friends happened to all be schooled
kids.

So, what are her interests?

Joyce

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Erica

well is there a place that unschooled kids gather? we are new to it and my daughter is feeling a bit lonely and would like to meet other unschooled kids so that she understands there are many others out there and she is not alone.  that is where i thought i would start. she is interested in finding out from other unschoolers what their typical day consists of and what its like for them. i have many friends that have completley different interests than me, and if going strictly by that alone, we'd have never met.
my daughter is interested in singing, music, basketball, photography, babysitting. at this point in time she does not like math, cooking or art. 


www.imperfectmamaof3.blogspot.com

--- On Thu, 4/21/11, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:

It will be better to seek out others with interests in common.
Unschooling isn't any more of a common connection between kids than
school is ;-) My daughter's best friends happened to all be schooled
kids.







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

Look for other folks in your area, for sure, and also any unschooling gatherings, conferences or meetups. A network like the Radical Unschoolers Network is handy for that, since it has a calender just in case you miss announcements on email lists.

http://familyrun.ning.com/

Here's a page of local email lists, too:
http://sandradodd.com/world

Better than pen-pals is probably looking for other kids on facebook. There are unschooling pages there and "friending" unschoolers is a good way to connect your kids with theirs. I've connected a couple unschoolers with a 10yo friend of mine (homeschooler - don't discount homeschooled and even school kids automatically!). Key places for some unschoolers to connect is via online role playing games like World of Warcraft and Runscape and also through Xbox live and the like. If your dd plays those kinds of games, she may be able to meet up with others with similar interests.

Unschooling kids don't automatically have anything in common other than unschooling, though. We're a diverse crowd.

---Meredith

Erica

my daughter is already looking into some FB groups of other unschoolers but no responses yet, although it only been a few days.
the one address link, only has groups in Akron and Northern Ohio. that isnt near us. although my daughter is just looking to connect with others since this whole concept is new to her. they dont nessesseraly have to be in our area. but we would like to meet other families in our area as well ,and I joined a group in my area but bnever heard back from them.

www.imperfectmamaof3.blogspot.com

Sara Evans

Hey there, my oldest may be interested in a penpal, you can email me off
list if you like. Sunrayemomi@...

I don't understand why kids have to have the "same interests" to be penpals?


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Shannon VANDERHEIDE

We live on an island with no other kids and my daughter really likes having
penpals, so I think it's great idea. I don't think it makes up for not
having friends to physically play/hang out with, but it is a connection
nonetheless. My daughter likes mathish things and cooking, but up until
recently really hated physically writing. For her, writing to friends
through both email and snail mail has been fun. She doesn't mind writing
now that she is choosing to do so. She also misses friends, but for us this
is less an unschooling reason than a location reason. She loves checking
her email, and she loves dropping letters in the mailbox. Trying it out
can't hurt!
Shannon

plaidpanties666

Erica <ericatrent1@...> wrote:
>
> my daughter is already looking into some FB groups of other unschoolers but no responses yet, although it only been a few days.
*****************

It may take some time. This is an ongoing issue for the majority of homeschoolers in a general sense - we're a very scattered minority group and when you pare your group down even more (from homeschool to unschool for instance) you'll have even less of a chance connecting.

This is one reason why it can be important to look for ways to connect with other people (people of all ages, not just kids close in age) based on interests rather than "unschooling" - because just finding other unschoolers isn't enough. My 9yo, for instance, looks forward to getting to play with her unschooling friends at campouts, but has no interest in writing letters or getting on Facebook. In the past I tried to connect with other unschooling families - give out our address or my email to try and get something going - and the result was I ended up disappointing other families/kids.

More recently I've been helping a homeschooling friend of mine connect via facebook. She enjoys chatting in a general sort of way, and if very social so if your daughter likes to chat about popular tv, movies, games, clothes and hair and whatnot, look me up on facebook and send me a note and I'll send some friend suggestions. But she's not an unschooler. <shrug>

---Meredith

plaidpanties666

Sara Evans <sunrayemomi@...> wrote:
>
> I don't understand why kids have to have the "same interests" to be penpals?
**************

Because otherwise they don't have much to say to one another and the relationship never gets off the ground. An interest in having a pen-pal (or chat pal, like my young friend) can be enough of an interest for some people to build relationships out of nothing, but more often people need reasons to connect.

It isn't a "have to" as in there's some kind of rule, its more a matter of seeing how people form relationships in real life and using that information to help our kids. School sets us up to think kids form relationships with age-peers more often than not, when that's purely a result of packing dozens of age-peers into the same space every day.

So part of deschooling for many parents involves stepping away from using the standardized formula of "I have a (gender) child who is (x) years old" as a way of helping another person find real peers and companions.

---Meredith

Joyce Fetteroll

On Apr 21, 2011, at 2:49 PM, Sara Evans wrote:

> I don't understand why kids have to have the "same interests" to be
> penpals?

They don't have to. Nor do adults need the same interests. But if
someone is intentionally seeking out others to connect with it's more
likely to happen through interests than age or proximity or where they
go to school. It's possible kids might connect as pen pals because
they unschool and are the same age, but that's pure chance rather than
because they both unschool.

Often it's personality people click with but, again, similar
personalities are more likely to share interests than age or living on
the same street or unschooling. My daughters friends ranged in age
from 5 years younger to 70 years older. She found them through shared
interests. Unschoolers were more convenient as friends because they
were free during the day, but only one is someone is still keeps in
contact with. Kathryn's best friends she met on Subeta (a fantasy pet
site) and deviantART.com because they all share an interest in metal
music and drawing and writing about fantasy bands.

Joyce

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Sara Evans

>
> So part of deschooling for many parents involves stepping away from using
the standardized formula of "I have a (gender) child who is (x) years old"
as a way of helping another person find real peers and companions.
>
> ---Meredith

Yeah I get that. I just thought maybe organizing friendships via interests
is similar to doing so by age or gender. I see the distinction though,
especially as it pertains to unschooling. I imagine my almost ten year old
would dig learning about another culture or area of the US via snail mail
but eventually the novelty may wear off and if there's no relationship in
interests there, the penpal relationship would dissolve. It would likely
involve coaching from me to make sure it didn't, for instance feeding her
questions to ask the friend, or ideas for trinkets to send, etc. Not all
too unschoolish I suppose.


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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

 Also as much as it is fun to get snail mail it can be hard and too slow for some kids.
Be open to more than just written letters. They can still chat online-skype.
Online chating and Skype can be pretty awesome!
At the same time give and receive cards and letters or trade stuff via snail mail!

Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/

 


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plaidpanties666

Sara Evans <sunrayemomi@...> wrote:
>I imagine my almost ten year old
> would dig learning about another culture or area of the US via snail mail
****************

This is one of the places parents new to unschooling get stuck, imagining what their kids would want, I mean. Part of connecting with kids well enough to know what they really want will take stepping back from imagining what you think they want for awhile because what you imagine is based on schoolish ideas about what kids *should* want. She "should" want to learn about another area and culture - but by some "fun" means like a pen pal rather than lessons. On some level, you're thinking in term of teachable moments and learning opportunities. Unschooling involves understanding that "learning opportunity" is as nonsensical as "opportunity to blink" but it can take a while for that idea to sink in!

Here's a site with a list of blogs by kids who are unschoolers - you might try some of these. Not all the blogs are kept up but it might be a way to "meet" someone.
http://enjoylifeunschooling.com/resources/


Actually, I've just been asked for ideas of things to add to the Enjoy Life site and I think I'll see if we can put together some kind of space for trading contact info... the trouble is its a public site so anyone can find it. Hmmm, have to think about that.

---Meredith

plaidpanties666

Oh, I totally forgot about this postcard group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingaroundtheworld/

I've heard mixed things about it - some people seem to get lots of postcards but I sent waaaaay more than I ever got and finally quit the group in frustration, but that was a couple years ago and I notice the group is still going! There's also a list on the info page of other postcard and pen pal groups that I'll just go ahead and quote:

Here are several postcard exchange sites for homeschoolers:
http://www.vegsource.com/homeschool/postcard/index.html

(about 3/4 the way down the page)
http://www.leapingfromthebox.com/hs/elists/travel.html

http://www.postcrossing.com/user/discpain

Here is a yahoogroup which hasn't had a lot of activity. But could
certainly be revived!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Homeschool_Postcards_US-international/

Here is another one, which appears to be active:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/postcardkids/

Sara Evans

> This is one of the places parents new to unschooling get stuck, imagining
what their kids would want, I mean. Part of connecting with kids well enough
to know what they really want will take stepping back from imagining what
you think they want for awhile because what you imagine is based on
schoolish ideas about what kids *should* want. She "should" want to learn
about another area and culture - but by some "fun" means like a pen pal
rather than lessons. On some level, you're thinking in term of teachable
moments and learning opportunities. Unschooling involves understanding that
"learning opportunity" is as nonsensical as "opportunity to blink" but it
can take a while for that idea to sink in!

>

Certainly however couldn't it be possible my daughter WOULD enjoy this
stuff....? Is she not "really" unschooled because she likes dissecting owl
pellets but wouldn't know that unless I bought them for her? I thought this
was strewing? Sorry I know I'm getting off topic. I just know my daughter
pretty well, and we've been unschooling a while so for me to say I think she
would enjoy that aspect of a penpal isn't necessarily a reflection of my
need to deschool more, is it? :)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Apr 21, 2011, at 8:26 PM, Sara Evans wrote:

> so for me to say I think she
> would enjoy that aspect of a penpal isn't necessarily a reflection
> of my
> need to deschool more, is it? :)

But no one else on the list knows your daughter and there are dozens
of other moms with daughters who are reading thinking learning about
the US through pen pals sounds like a grand idea.

It's better for those reading if we discuss the principles and ideas
of unschooling that connect to an issue brought to the list rather
than a specific child. The unschooling principle is to get to know
your child to help her explore and support what she's interested in.

Joyce

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Heather in Cincy

Erica,

I will make this short. We are in the northern Cincinnati area. Email me offline at hmschleidt@... if you are remotely close to that. We belong to a Cincinnati unschoolers group and will be meeting more people at a couple upcoming conferences. I have a 10 yo boy that might have some similar interests. Don't know where exactly you are located, so let me know offline if you want to discuss maybe meeting up.

Heather

--- In [email protected], Erica <ericatrent1@...> wrote:
>
> well is there a place that unschooled kids gather? we are new to it and my daughter is feeling a bit lonely and would like to meet other unschooled kids so that she understands there are many others out there and she is not alone.  that is where i thought i would start. she is interested in finding out from other unschoolers what their typical day consists of and what its like for them. i have many friends that have completley different interests than me, and if going strictly by that alone, we'd have never met.
> my daughter is interested in singing, music, basketball, photography, babysitting. at this point in time she does not like math, cooking or art. 
>
>
> www.imperfectmamaof3.blogspot.com
>
> --- On Thu, 4/21/11, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:
>
> It will be better to seek out others with interests in common.
> Unschooling isn't any more of a common connection between kids than
> school is ;-) My daughter's best friends happened to all be schooled
> kids.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[email protected]

Both a little on and off topic...LOL...but I have just gotten back into having pen pals myself! I had a bunch growing up and I loved it. I still keep in touch with pen pals I had 25 years ago but it's all email and Facebook now of course. I missed getting real letters! So I have been sneaking out snail mail pals. If any of you parents are interested let me know!
jeanholton@...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: Erica <ericatrent1@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2011 10:48:02
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: looking for penpal

my daughter is already looking into some FB groups of other unschoolers but no responses yet, although it only been a few days.
the one address link, only has groups in Akron and Northern Ohio. that isnt near us. although my daughter is just looking to connect with others since this whole concept is new to her. they dont nessesseraly have to be in our area. but we would like to meet other families in our area as well ,and I joined a group in my area but bnever heard back from them.

www.imperfectmamaof3.blogspot.com



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]