ajasta_v@...


My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie. I know that all these things are "doing something" and don't get me wrong I am happy that they get on so well together (mostly, definitely not always) but when I read other unschooler / freelearner stories, their kids seem to always be switched on, learning something big or interested in so many amazing things... 

Am I missing something?

Can anyone share what their days might look like? 

Thanks in advance





Sandra Dodd

Some people might share their days, but I have two other things for you to consider:

-=-when I read other unschooler / freelearner stories-=-

If you’re looking in too many places for your plan, for what you want to do, and why, and how, you will find it more difficult to do “it” if you haven’t settled on an “it.”

So somewhere you’re reading about “freelearners.” It’s not a term I use on my site, nor does Joyce, or Pam Sorooshian, nor (I think) does Pam Laricchia.
If you want to know more about radical unschooling, we can absolutely help you. If you want to call it something else for some reason, and keep it at arm’s length, it won’t be easy for you to relax and become an unschooling parent.

As to your description of the day, you wrote

-=-My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie. I know that all these things are "doing something" and don't get me wrong I am happy that they get on so well together (mostly, definitely not always) but….-=-

“Yes… but” means “no.”

What are you doing with and for them “all day long”? If you’re leaving them to learn without you, to “just hang out” without you, and you’re not changing your own level of learning and wonder and engagement, you won’t be able to to see what they are learning.

There is a day described here in two ways, and I think reading it all might help you to begin to see from a different angle:

http://sandradodd.com/unschool/ginnyday.html
It was written on a forum that doesn’t exist anymore, and in the days before kids had iPads to look things up on, so you might be able to see how much more can be done these days than when this was written.

A couple of quotes from the page:

"Someone on this board has said Unschooling is like a pond with a smooth surface. It may not look like much, but underneath there's all kinds of stuff going on”
and
"So. Where do you start? With yourself. What do YOU do that's fun and interesting to YOU?”

There are links at the bottom, to things that will help, too, and to a collection of accounts of typical days.
Perhaps you will collect some more here.

Also, work through some of the things linked on this help page:
http://sandradodd.com/help

Use an iPad or a computer, not a phone. Sometimes “reader view” will choose one thing to show you, and you’ll have no idea how rich and full that page was.

Sandra

Jo Isaac

==Am I missing something?==

Yes. You are missing what you wrote before that:

==My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie.==
 
That sounds exactly like "kids being switched on, learning something big and interested in so many amazing things" But you can't seem to see it in your own kids.

If you expected unschooling to look like school, it doesn't. If you expect all unschooled kids to be prodigies in something or another, they aren't. They are, on the whole, just normal kids who have interests that flow and change. Some (very, very few) unschooled kids have all consuming passions, but the majority have interests that wax and wane.

You might want to think about this quote from Sandra:

"If your child is more important than your vision of your child, life becomes easier."

Remember also that people tend to only share the most interesting and impressive parts of their lives and worlds - they aren't going to post about the majority of hours they hang at home and watch movies.

Kids learn amazing things from imaginary games. Board and card games are awesome. Movies are awesome and amazing.

==Can anyone share what their days might look like?==

Today my 11 year old got up before me, maybe about 8.30am. He turned his computer on. He's been there since - he's doing a bunch of stuff - he's playing Pokemon on his DS next to his laptop, and watching streams on Twitch, and has skyped with friends around the world for a while. 

He has a dog walking business, so at noon we walked a dog for about 45 minutes. He'll be on his computer most of the afternoon and evening. He said he might work on a gourd lamp he's carving later, and he's going to help me cook chicken nuggets and onion rings for dinner.

Then more streaming/Twitch before bed. Probably more Pokemon playing.

That is a fairly usual day. It might not look impressive to outsiders, but his days are full of joy and learning from all kinds of avenues...

Jo




From: [email protected] <[email protected]> on behalf of ajasta_v@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]>
Sent: 07 September 2017 18:39
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Am I missing something?
 
 


My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie. I know that all these things are "doing something" and don't get me wrong I am happy that they get on so well together (mostly, definitely not always) but when I read other unschooler / freelearner stories, their kids seem to always be switched on, learning something big or interested in so many amazing things... 

Am I missing something?

Can anyone share what their days might look like? 

Thanks in advance





Megan Valnes

==My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie.==

It is important to see the learning happening in the activities you describe above, which requires thoughtful deschooling. Imaginary games are likely their way of working out how they perceive the world around them. Watch them play. Play pretend with them. I find playing pretend with my kids is a great way to see how their minds are working and learn some of what they're thinking about. Watch the movies with them, hang with them, learn what they find so interesting about whatever it is they're doing and that will help you feel more comfortable in the lifestyle you have chosen.

I have 5 kids, ages 2, 6, 8, 11, and 13. Yesterday, my 2 year old woke up around 8:30 and she always start her day with chocolate milk and her iPad. She sits at the kitchen table and watches her shows while I tool around, doing my morning chores (I say chores in a loving way!). 

My older kids wake up later and usually go to their computers or phones and play for a bit. By the early afternoon, the older ones switch gears and play with toys, or come and hang with me. We chat throughout the day and I spend time watching the 6&8 year olds on their computer and sometimes playing with them on Roblox. My 13 year old has a dog of his own and he takes her out on walks around the house regularly. His indoor time is spent drawing, playing video games, reading, watching YouTube videos,  and chatting with his friends online. My 11 year old has two snakes, which she spends a lot of time caring for. She also has a pony, which she rides 4 times a week or so. 

We also have a lot of farm animals (and one pregnant goat at the moment), so the kids like to help me collect eggs and get the animals in and out of their enclosures. We are also busy checking our pregnant goat around the clock :). 

By afternoon, when it's cooled down, the kids like to go outside. They play on the play structure or horse games, where they set up jumps and pretend they are jumping horses. I am usually their trainer. Or they play on their computers well into the night. My 2 year old likes to catch frogs everyday around 6pm. Last night, we colored my 11 year old's hair, so that was exciting for everyone.

This is typical for now. I've noticed my kids cycle through different phases. Sometimes, for months at a time, they are mostly outside catching lizards or playing pretend games, and then other times, for months at a time, they are playing computer mostly all day, watching movies, learning new things on the iPad and applying them to the games they are currently interested in. I find it fascinating to watch how they seemingly spend months learning and storing information and then suddenly applying the new knowledge in practical ways.

Learn to be comfortable with what you may perceive as down time. We live in a society where "doing" and "going" and being "busy" are revered and confused for being important. There is beauty in the small details of life. There is peace and joy in the calm of being able to play, pretend, and learn naturally. To grow unfettered and unencumbered with "shoulds". Pay attention to these peaceful times when your children are happy. Be present and mindful with them. When they're having a rough time, be caring and gentle. One day they will be grown and hopefully look back on a childhood that was full of joy, wonder, and learning. 

On Thu, Sep 7, 2017 at 21:07 Jo Isaac joanneisaac@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:
 

==Am I missing something?==

Yes. You are missing what you wrote before that:

==My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie.==
 
That sounds exactly like "kids being switched on, learning something big and interested in so many amazing things" But you can't seem to see it in your own kids.

If you expected unschooling to look like school, it doesn't. If you expect all unschooled kids to be prodigies in something or another, they aren't. They are, on the whole, just normal kids who have interests that flow and change. Some (very, very few) unschooled kids have all consuming passions, but the majority have interests that wax and wane.

You might want to think about this quote from Sandra:

"If your child is more important than your vision of your child, life becomes easier."

Remember also that people tend to only share the most interesting and impressive parts of their lives and worlds - they aren't going to post about the majority of hours they hang at home and watch movies.

Kids learn amazing things from imaginary games. Board and card games are awesome. Movies are awesome and amazing.

==Can anyone share what their days might look like?==

Today my 11 year old got up before me, maybe about 8.30am. He turned his computer on. He's been there since - he's doing a bunch of stuff - he's playing Pokemon on his DS next to his laptop, and watching streams on Twitch, and has skyped with friends around the world for a while. 

He has a dog walking business, so at noon we walked a dog for about 45 minutes. He'll be on his computer most of the afternoon and evening. He said he might work on a gourd lamp he's carving later, and he's going to help me cook chicken nuggets and onion rings for dinner.

Then more streaming/Twitch before bed. Probably more Pokemon playing.

That is a fairly usual day. It might not look impressive to outsiders, but his days are full of joy and learning from all kinds of avenues...

Jo




From: [email protected] <[email protected]> on behalf of ajasta_v@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]>
Sent: 07 September 2017 18:39
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Am I missing something?
 

 


My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie. I know that all these things are "doing something" and don't get me wrong I am happy that they get on so well together (mostly, definitely not always) but when I read other unschooler / freelearner stories, their kids seem to always be switched on, learning something big or interested in so many amazing things... 

Am I missing something?

Can anyone share what their days might look like? 

Thanks in advance





--
Warmly,
Megan
*keeping it real since 1981*

Megan Valnes

I forgot to mention that there will also be times of action and change. When you watch them closely, you will be able to tell when they need a change of scenery. I have 2 kids who like to be home most of the time and 3 who like to get out and about. But sometimes they all just want to be home for days at a time and other times, they want to be out and see new things. I feel very tuned into my kids, so it's easier to tell what they need and when. 

On Fri, Sep 8, 2017 at 10:05 Megan Valnes <meganvalnes@...> wrote:
==My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie.==

It is important to see the learning happening in the activities you describe above, which requires thoughtful deschooling. Imaginary games are likely their way of working out how they perceive the world around them. Watch them play. Play pretend with them. I find playing pretend with my kids is a great way to see how their minds are working and learn some of what they're thinking about. Watch the movies with them, hang with them, learn what they find so interesting about whatever it is they're doing and that will help you feel more comfortable in the lifestyle you have chosen.

I have 5 kids, ages 2, 6, 8, 11, and 13. Yesterday, my 2 year old woke up around 8:30 and she always start her day with chocolate milk and her iPad. She sits at the kitchen table and watches her shows while I tool around, doing my morning chores (I say chores in a loving way!). 

My older kids wake up later and usually go to their computers or phones and play for a bit. By the early afternoon, the older ones switch gears and play with toys, or come and hang with me. We chat throughout the day and I spend time watching the 6&8 year olds on their computer and sometimes playing with them on Roblox. My 13 year old has a dog of his own and he takes her out on walks around the house regularly. His indoor time is spent drawing, playing video games, reading, watching YouTube videos,  and chatting with his friends online. My 11 year old has two snakes, which she spends a lot of time caring for. She also has a pony, which she rides 4 times a week or so. 

We also have a lot of farm animals (and one pregnant goat at the moment), so the kids like to help me collect eggs and get the animals in and out of their enclosures. We are also busy checking our pregnant goat around the clock :). 

By afternoon, when it's cooled down, the kids like to go outside. They play on the play structure or horse games, where they set up jumps and pretend they are jumping horses. I am usually their trainer. Or they play on their computers well into the night. My 2 year old likes to catch frogs everyday around 6pm. Last night, we colored my 11 year old's hair, so that was exciting for everyone.

This is typical for now. I've noticed my kids cycle through different phases. Sometimes, for months at a time, they are mostly outside catching lizards or playing pretend games, and then other times, for months at a time, they are playing computer mostly all day, watching movies, learning new things on the iPad and applying them to the games they are currently interested in. I find it fascinating to watch how they seemingly spend months learning and storing information and then suddenly applying the new knowledge in practical ways.

Learn to be comfortable with what you may perceive as down time. We live in a society where "doing" and "going" and being "busy" are revered and confused for being important. There is beauty in the small details of life. There is peace and joy in the calm of being able to play, pretend, and learn naturally. To grow unfettered and unencumbered with "shoulds". Pay attention to these peaceful times when your children are happy. Be present and mindful with them. When they're having a rough time, be caring and gentle. One day they will be grown and hopefully look back on a childhood that was full of joy, wonder, and learning. 

On Thu, Sep 7, 2017 at 21:07 Jo Isaac joanneisaac@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:
 

==Am I missing something?==

Yes. You are missing what you wrote before that:

==My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie.==
 
That sounds exactly like "kids being switched on, learning something big and interested in so many amazing things" But you can't seem to see it in your own kids.

If you expected unschooling to look like school, it doesn't. If you expect all unschooled kids to be prodigies in something or another, they aren't. They are, on the whole, just normal kids who have interests that flow and change. Some (very, very few) unschooled kids have all consuming passions, but the majority have interests that wax and wane.

You might want to think about this quote from Sandra:

"If your child is more important than your vision of your child, life becomes easier."

Remember also that people tend to only share the most interesting and impressive parts of their lives and worlds - they aren't going to post about the majority of hours they hang at home and watch movies.

Kids learn amazing things from imaginary games. Board and card games are awesome. Movies are awesome and amazing.

==Can anyone share what their days might look like?==

Today my 11 year old got up before me, maybe about 8.30am. He turned his computer on. He's been there since - he's doing a bunch of stuff - he's playing Pokemon on his DS next to his laptop, and watching streams on Twitch, and has skyped with friends around the world for a while. 

He has a dog walking business, so at noon we walked a dog for about 45 minutes. He'll be on his computer most of the afternoon and evening. He said he might work on a gourd lamp he's carving later, and he's going to help me cook chicken nuggets and onion rings for dinner.

Then more streaming/Twitch before bed. Probably more Pokemon playing.

That is a fairly usual day. It might not look impressive to outsiders, but his days are full of joy and learning from all kinds of avenues...

Jo




From: [email protected] <[email protected]> on behalf of ajasta_v@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]>
Sent: 07 September 2017 18:39
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Am I missing something?
 

 


My kids are 9, 6 and almost 4 and they play all day long together, mostly imaginary games, sometimes card or board games and sometimes they just hang out together and watch a movie. I know that all these things are "doing something" and don't get me wrong I am happy that they get on so well together (mostly, definitely not always) but when I read other unschooler / freelearner stories, their kids seem to always be switched on, learning something big or interested in so many amazing things... 

Am I missing something?

Can anyone share what their days might look like? 

Thanks in advance





--
Warmly,
Megan
*keeping it real since 1981*
--
Warmly,
Megan
*keeping it real since 1981*

Kimm H

==Can anyone share what their days might look like?==

I have teens. My 13yo spends a lot of time in her room. She declines about half of our invitations to do things together (errands, a movie, a walk, household projects, the pool, etc). She spends most of her time drawing, applying makeup (then washing it off and reapplying it... she does stage/fx makeup as well as glamour), drawing faces on paper with makeup, and watching YouTube drawing/makeup/fx tutorials. She's interested in working as a makeup artist for a few years after attending public high school and then going to college to pursue a law degree. She also spends a lot of time with our pets and with a couple of close friends.

My 16yo has moved out of the "nesting" phase of spending lots of time alone. She's interested in a career in musical theatre and spends a few hours a day playing guitar/ukulele/bass; doing vocal practice; and watching musicals. She also is constantly finding new music she likes and is never without music playing. She's taking a Sociology class at a community college, a math lab at a homeschool hybrid school (her choice... she needs a better score on the math portion of the ACT to dual-enroll at her preferred college next year), and is also teaching high school theatre at the hybrid school. That's her dream job, and she has the opportunity because she's been reading about theatre, watching shows (live and filmed), following her favorite Broadway actors/theaters/directors on social media and in the news, performing, networking with local theatre people, and doing theatre tech for many years. She has all that experience because that's what she wanted to do and invested the time in it.

When they were young, they played all day, spent a lot of time at the creek, made up stories and told them to their pet rats; we read tons of books aloud, visited zoos and museums, hiked a lot, and spent a lot of time "goofing around" together at home. It was magical. I miss it.

Kimm

Sent from a tiny touch screen. Pls excuse typos.

> On Sep 8, 2017, at 1:05 PM, Megan Valnes meganvalnes@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> ==Can anyone share what their days might look like?==