Child watching porn
Sandra Dodd
Request for anonymous presentation of this problem.
First, if anyone can remember or hunt down prior discussions of such questions, please bring a link. It’s not a pleasant wheel to reinvent.
Thanks.
____________________________________
Could you please post this anonymously.
Background info - My daughter who is 10.9 yrs old has started puberty. She has developed breast buds and has start getting pimples. From an early age she started masturbating and is very aware of her body. To this point we've always said that masturbation is a great feeling but something to do in private.
My daughters you tube viewing interests have been Ripley Believe It or Not and recently she looked up youngest mothers. This subject brought her to her first porn site. I know this because I walked into a room while she was watching it. We discussed it and she was very embarrassed and didn't want to ask me questions. She has continued to watch it sporadically and just recently started asking me questions. She has siblings - all brothers (12, 8, 5 yrs) who have not seen it.
It's very, very important to me that she view sex in general as something natural and positive, something that she can talk to us about and ask questions. Does anyone have experiences or suggestions about how best to handle this.
Thank you for any help you can provide.
First, if anyone can remember or hunt down prior discussions of such questions, please bring a link. It’s not a pleasant wheel to reinvent.
Thanks.
____________________________________
Could you please post this anonymously.
Background info - My daughter who is 10.9 yrs old has started puberty. She has developed breast buds and has start getting pimples. From an early age she started masturbating and is very aware of her body. To this point we've always said that masturbation is a great feeling but something to do in private.
My daughters you tube viewing interests have been Ripley Believe It or Not and recently she looked up youngest mothers. This subject brought her to her first porn site. I know this because I walked into a room while she was watching it. We discussed it and she was very embarrassed and didn't want to ask me questions. She has continued to watch it sporadically and just recently started asking me questions. She has siblings - all brothers (12, 8, 5 yrs) who have not seen it.
It's very, very important to me that she view sex in general as something natural and positive, something that she can talk to us about and ask questions. Does anyone have experiences or suggestions about how best to handle this.
Thank you for any help you can provide.
Sandra Dodd
Someone sent me these three links to discussion at Radical Unschooling Info on facebook.
I haven’t looked at them yet.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10153173026839751/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10152184342204751/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10152164529764751/
My main concern is the illegality, and the potential for an unschooling familiy to lose the right to continue to unschool if something questionable goes to court or even to social services.
Sandra
I haven’t looked at them yet.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10153173026839751/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10152184342204751/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10152164529764751/
My main concern is the illegality, and the potential for an unschooling familiy to lose the right to continue to unschool if something questionable goes to court or even to social services.
Sandra
Sandra Dodd
I have an anonymous addition. I edited it after asking for clarifiation.
_____________
I am posting this to you anonymously because my boys have gotten some flack in the unschooling community for just talking about this subject (watching porn).
My thoughts/advice:
Use a VPN (Virtual Private Network). Torguard had the best reviews when I researched it. The government is watching our computers more than ever now. Even before this new law one could not torrent or go to streaming sites without a warning email. 5 strikes and they can punish you. Clear the browser history and clear the ISP cash [cache, I think she meant] once the VPN is installed. Do not go anywhere "questionable" without a VPN...and now anywhere not questionable.
_______________
That’s the end of the anonymous message.
People in the unschooling community should NOT be accepting of children watching porn.
But if kids in school talk about watching porn, it could go straight to social services.
It’s not okay, and it’s not any more okay if the kids are unschooled.
-=-Do not go anywhere "questionable" without a VPN...and now anywhere not questionable.-=-
For purposes of unschooling well and happily, I think it’s easier and better to live in ways that are not questionable or illegal.
There are people in jail for pornography-related problems. I know of two people (one worked with Kirby which is why I know that one) who were not jailed, but put on a probation that forbade them to use the internet at all for a period of time (two years, one of them; the other I’m not sure). One had his computer confiscated (and I don’t know about the other one).
There are not different laws for unschoolers. And BECAUSE unschooling isn’t mainstream, the risks are greater to the peaceful future of unschooling, so I think it’s not a thing to encourage in any way.
In some places it’s a felony for an adult to watch porn with a minor. A felony can be for life—loss of many privileges, including (in some places) the right to vote. It’s worth sharing (calmly) that severity of the situation.
My interest in keeping this discussion is to help people unschool successfully.
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolworld
Sandra
_____________
I am posting this to you anonymously because my boys have gotten some flack in the unschooling community for just talking about this subject (watching porn).
My thoughts/advice:
Use a VPN (Virtual Private Network). Torguard had the best reviews when I researched it. The government is watching our computers more than ever now. Even before this new law one could not torrent or go to streaming sites without a warning email. 5 strikes and they can punish you. Clear the browser history and clear the ISP cash [cache, I think she meant] once the VPN is installed. Do not go anywhere "questionable" without a VPN...and now anywhere not questionable.
_______________
That’s the end of the anonymous message.
People in the unschooling community should NOT be accepting of children watching porn.
But if kids in school talk about watching porn, it could go straight to social services.
It’s not okay, and it’s not any more okay if the kids are unschooled.
-=-Do not go anywhere "questionable" without a VPN...and now anywhere not questionable.-=-
For purposes of unschooling well and happily, I think it’s easier and better to live in ways that are not questionable or illegal.
There are people in jail for pornography-related problems. I know of two people (one worked with Kirby which is why I know that one) who were not jailed, but put on a probation that forbade them to use the internet at all for a period of time (two years, one of them; the other I’m not sure). One had his computer confiscated (and I don’t know about the other one).
There are not different laws for unschoolers. And BECAUSE unschooling isn’t mainstream, the risks are greater to the peaceful future of unschooling, so I think it’s not a thing to encourage in any way.
In some places it’s a felony for an adult to watch porn with a minor. A felony can be for life—loss of many privileges, including (in some places) the right to vote. It’s worth sharing (calmly) that severity of the situation.
My interest in keeping this discussion is to help people unschool successfully.
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolworld
Sandra
<sorensen@...>
I recommend a book for you entitled "Unhushed" by Dr. Karen Rayne who's been working in education for the last twenty years and has a specialty in sexuality education. She's provides classes here in Austin, but her book helps equip parents.
Good luck,
Marygrace