Sandra Dodd

This is from a side mail (not someone in this group) and I DO mean to bring it here. :-)

Someone who isn’t an unschooler but has been reading about it for over ten year and is now in late 20’s wrote, and I responded in part about this:

__________


-=-I was very depressed in high school (and I still struggle with depression on although it's not as bad as it used to be) and I attributed it to being forced to attend school when I did not want to be there.-=-

Depression is a phase some people have, so though school against your will undoubtedly would’ve made things worse, current depression shouldn’t be blamed on school, nor anything but normal cycles. Some people never have los ebbs, but they also don’t the corresponding highs, so ride the energy when it’s there and find ways to keep yourself afloat in low times.

#1, don’t use “struggle.” Don’t struggle, relax. :-)

http://sandradodd.com/battle

When negativity is naturally present, don’t make it any worse with your own input or descriptions.

The links on that page should take you to other uplifting things. Knowing it will pass, too (and more quickly if you don’t feed it sorrow and darkness) will help it pass more easily.

Sandra
______________

It’s Seasonal Affective Disorder season in Minnesota (and some other northerly places), so take care of yourself so you can take better care of the others who depend on you.

The first time I had a big depression I had no idea what it was. I was in my mid 20’s and thought my life was just ruined forever and it would be downhill from there and I deserved it.
I got better.

The next couple of times, I saw it too late to patch it easily. The past four or five, though, I feel the feelings, and I keep everything low-pressure, cheery, joyful, and I try to stay home with happy movies and eat favorite foods and wait it out that way.

Sandra

salsflying@...

In the same vein, I have spent my life decluttering and looking for what I can get rid of. About a week ago I looked around and wondered, "what do I want to keep?!" It's been such a new way of looking at my life (& continuous "fight with clutter in a family of nine, blah blah blah").
My son made a catapult today and I thought it was pretty cool. Now I see all of his projectiles around my kitchen and I am laughing because he's trying to hit me with them. He's 14 and laughing like a mad man which I hear in some home is unusual due to his age, but he has so much freedom to just "be" since we started unschooling and he's a lovely young man.
Oops, I better pay attention he just landed one on the stovetop! HA

Sarah Thompson

"What do I want to keep?"

This thought helped me a lot today. In cleaning my tiny house, I find myself getting very frustrated, thinking "why do we have so much CRAP?! There's no clear surface in the house!" Today I looked at it and said, "wow, what ABUNDANCE! So many things that bring us joy that we can't even find places to store it all!" 

So thanks for that little piece of attitude-adjustment:)

Sarah

Tess Robertson

I'm not sure it's right to say that depression is always just a phase some people go through. Some people do seem to just experience depression due to some idiosyncratic internal cycles, or because of external cycles like with SAD, but this person might well be correct that they were depressed because they were trapped in school. In fact, research I've read (by people like Randy Nesse) suggests feeling trapped in a bad situation is a major cause of depression, which can be resolved by getting out of that situation.

Of course, that doesn't mean it's not a good idea to take care of yourself! :)

Tess

On Dec 14, 2016 1:22 PM, "Sandra Dodd Sandra@... [AlwaysLearning]" <[email protected]> wrote:
 

This is from a side mail (not someone in this group) and I DO mean to bring it here. :-)

Someone who isn’t an unschooler but has been reading about it for over ten year and is now in late 20’s wrote, and I responded in part about this:

__________

-=-I was very depressed in high school (and I still struggle with depression on although it's not as bad as it used to be) and I attributed it to being forced to attend school when I did not want to be there.-=-

Depression is a phase some people have, so though school against your will undoubtedly would’ve made things worse, current depression shouldn’t be blamed on school, nor anything but normal cycles. Some people never have los ebbs, but they also don’t the corresponding highs, so ride the energy when it’s there and find ways to keep yourself afloat in low times.

#1, don’t use “struggle.” Don’t struggle, relax. :-)

http://sandradodd.com/battle

When negativity is naturally present, don’t make it any worse with your own input or descriptions.

The links on that page should take you to other uplifting things. Knowing it will pass, too (and more quickly if you don’t feed it sorrow and darkness) will help it pass more easily.

Sandra
______________

It’s Seasonal Affective Disorder season in Minnesota (and some other northerly places), so take care of yourself so you can take better care of the others who depend on you.

The first time I had a big depression I had no idea what it was. I was in my mid 20’s and thought my life was just ruined forever and it would be downhill from there and I deserved it.
I got better.

The next couple of times, I saw it too late to patch it easily. The past four or five, though, I feel the feelings, and I keep everything low-pressure, cheery, joyful, and I try to stay home with happy movies and eat favorite foods and wait it out that way.

Sandra


Sandra Dodd

-=-I'm not sure it's right to say that depression is always just a phase some people go through.-=-

I’m sure it’s NOT right to say. I didn’t say that, either. “Always just…” isn’t something I’m likely to write about anything. :-)

YES, someone could be depressed about being in school, or prison, or a miserable marriage.

When the person is OUT of school, or out of prison, or out of the marriage, if the depression remains, and especially if they’ve come to a discussion about joy and optimism and learning and happiness, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to advise them that they are not now in school, and to try to perk up.

Situational depression is not as common on earth as phases of higher and lower energy/attention/mood are.
When the two combine it can be rought! When someone wants to unschool but wants to hold on to depression, or justify it, or nurture it, that is a problem for unschooling’s success and the future relationships with the children involved.

Sandra