FW: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Swimming versus reading
Cass Kotrba
-=- <<I’m so completely convinced by it that it’s hard for me not to sell it to everyone I meet.>> -=-When we first started unschooling I was really excited about it and there was an urge to share the good news, but proselytizing about unschooling is not helpful. I realize now that trying to explain unschooling to someone who has not asked for the information is an attempt to teach them. http://sandradodd.com/teaching/
-=- But even with parents with older kids I've met, the ones who talk less about what they're doing, and *live* what they're doing instead, have been a better example for me to learn from-=-
Many times other parents do see that we are happy and doing well and they ask questions. I've learned to really listen to what the person is asking and what information they are seeking and try not to overwhelm them with more than what they've asked for. If someone asks a question like "how is homeschooling going" I answer with a simple "great, we really enjoy it." Usually that's about the end of what someone really wants to know. I am open to sharing more if they are interested. I have found that many times the parent I'm talking to enjoys complaining about how things are but when I tell them about what we are doing I generally hear some version of "yeah, well that's great for you but I couldn't do that because...." That conversation gets tedious & depressing.
Sometimes people do want more information and I find that I am ill equipped to explain it adequately, as if such a philosophy could be summarized in a brief conversation anyway. If people are genuinely interested, I share with them a bit about our lives and refer them to http://sandradodd.com/, http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/ and http://livingjoyfully.ca/. If they are really interested those are the best reservoirs of information that I know of.
The other day an acquaintance on Facebook posted that she was thinking about homeschooling and was seeking input from others. I gave her this link: http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/homeschooling/. There is lots of good introductory information there and a link to an article about unschooling where they quote Sandra. :D I think it's a good place for her to start and she knows how to reach of me if she wants to talk about it more. I'm not interested in trying to convincing her to unschool. Unschooling has been wonderful for us but that doesn't mean it is right for everyone. That is a deeply personal matter and I have no way of knowing what is the right fit for her family.
-Cass
claramont@...
-=- I wanted to pull this out, because I think it's important to not try to 'sell' unschooling to anyone. -=-
I need to be mindful of my light and teasing nature when I write, because often I’ll be writing something with humor and don’t realize that I need to make that clear or it can be taken in the 1st degree.
I’d never want to sell any philosophy or lifestyle to anyone. :)
Now, I do think we all have the right to be informed, and that you can’t make informed choices if you don’t have access to the information about what the options actually are.
It's a very different situation France (and many many other countries, most countries actually) than it is in the US (+ UK, Australia, NZ & Canada). Here, almost everyone (I think?) at least knows that’s it legal and an “acceptable choice” to homeschool (though of course many people have never heard of unschooling.) In France, where it’s legal to not go to school, citizens thinks its illegal - b/c there’s been a lot of false info circulating for decades. As a result, many people are shocked at the idea of homeschooling - never mind unschooling!
So a lot of people do ask questions.
When they do, what I do is tell them the facts, which I believe everyone has the right to know:
It is legal not to send children to school;
It is legal not to do school at home;
Children *can* and *do* learn without being schooled - even without being schooled at home. (Wow, that’s the big shocker that makes many people gasp in disbelief. It was my initial reaction too, 8 years ago, so I totally understand what a little bomb it can be in people’s lives.)
The rest as you said, speaks for itself. Seeing such happy, spirited children says a lot to people - much more than words.
When they do, what I do is tell them the facts, which I believe everyone has the right to know:
It is legal not to send children to school;
It is legal not to do school at home;
Children *can* and *do* learn without being schooled - even without being schooled at home. (Wow, that’s the big shocker that makes many people gasp in disbelief. It was my initial reaction too, 8 years ago, so I totally understand what a little bomb it can be in people’s lives.)
The rest as you said, speaks for itself. Seeing such happy, spirited children says a lot to people - much more than words.
And when people want more, there’s a lot of terrific resource to direct them to.
Clara
Sandra Dodd
-=--=-Yes. I get that. So I was exploring Portuguese every day for hours because I’d chosen to. And not because I "decided I wanted" to do it?... :)-=—=-
You explored it for a moment because you had chosen to. Each moment, you could have kept going or stopped.
If someone decides she wants to unschool, but leaves her kids in school and takes extra hours at work, and finds after-school classes for her kids, even though she claims to want to unschool, it’s just a fantasy. It’s the wisp of a wish. That’s not a crime.
If someone decides she wants to unschool but she doesn’t have custody of her children, and so doesn’t have the right to made decisions about whether or not they’re in school, then the desire will only made her sad.
That’s all about clarity of thought. If English isn’t someone’s first language, this might be doubly irritating, but it’s still important to be as clear as possible.
http://sandradodd.com/lists/alwayslearning
It’s worth reading about this discussion group, for anyone who wants to understand it well.
This page has first reactions and later understandings, about this discussion. There are some profound things on this page (originally by Rippy Dusseldorp, but others have been added).
http://sandradodd.com/feedback/rippy
-=-I’d never want to sell any philosophy or lifestyle to anyone. :)-=-
-=-Now, I do think we all have the right to be informed, and that you can’t make informed choices if you don’t have access to the information about what the options actually are. -=-
“The right to be informed” is interesting. How can you take away anyone’s right to be informed?
I’m not aware of every private school in the world. When my children were school-aged, I did NOT know even all of the private school details in New Mexico—let alone neithboring states, or other parts of the U.S. or other countries. IF one had wanted to go to a private school, would have had the right to be informed? Could I have made an informed choice without all the options?
Whose job would it be to tell me about a boarding school in California, or Missouri, or Connecticut? Salesmen. Recruiters. They might have reason to try to get their brochhures into my hands.
I think people have the right to look for information, but we don’t have the obligation to press it on them. At some level, it becomes rude to press information on people that they don’t want, or that they can’t use (legally, culturally practically).
-=-I need to be mindful of my light and teasing nature when I write, because often I’ll be writing something with humor and don’t realize that I need to make that clear or it can be taken in the 1st degree. -=-
You don’t need to be careful of teasing when you’re writing on your own blog, or to friends. This discussion is intended to be on topic, clear, honest. There are places to joke or to write recklessly and freely, but this isn’t one of them. :-) So it’s more important to be mindful of where you’re writing, to whom, for what purpose.
Sandra
You explored it for a moment because you had chosen to. Each moment, you could have kept going or stopped.
If someone decides she wants to unschool, but leaves her kids in school and takes extra hours at work, and finds after-school classes for her kids, even though she claims to want to unschool, it’s just a fantasy. It’s the wisp of a wish. That’s not a crime.
If someone decides she wants to unschool but she doesn’t have custody of her children, and so doesn’t have the right to made decisions about whether or not they’re in school, then the desire will only made her sad.
That’s all about clarity of thought. If English isn’t someone’s first language, this might be doubly irritating, but it’s still important to be as clear as possible.
http://sandradodd.com/lists/alwayslearning
It’s worth reading about this discussion group, for anyone who wants to understand it well.
This page has first reactions and later understandings, about this discussion. There are some profound things on this page (originally by Rippy Dusseldorp, but others have been added).
http://sandradodd.com/feedback/rippy
-=-I’d never want to sell any philosophy or lifestyle to anyone. :)-=-
-=-Now, I do think we all have the right to be informed, and that you can’t make informed choices if you don’t have access to the information about what the options actually are. -=-
“The right to be informed” is interesting. How can you take away anyone’s right to be informed?
I’m not aware of every private school in the world. When my children were school-aged, I did NOT know even all of the private school details in New Mexico—let alone neithboring states, or other parts of the U.S. or other countries. IF one had wanted to go to a private school, would have had the right to be informed? Could I have made an informed choice without all the options?
Whose job would it be to tell me about a boarding school in California, or Missouri, or Connecticut? Salesmen. Recruiters. They might have reason to try to get their brochhures into my hands.
I think people have the right to look for information, but we don’t have the obligation to press it on them. At some level, it becomes rude to press information on people that they don’t want, or that they can’t use (legally, culturally practically).
-=-I need to be mindful of my light and teasing nature when I write, because often I’ll be writing something with humor and don’t realize that I need to make that clear or it can be taken in the 1st degree. -=-
You don’t need to be careful of teasing when you’re writing on your own blog, or to friends. This discussion is intended to be on topic, clear, honest. There are places to joke or to write recklessly and freely, but this isn’t one of them. :-) So it’s more important to be mindful of where you’re writing, to whom, for what purpose.
Sandra