My daughter is asking for help learning to read
anita_loomis@...
My six-year old daughter recently asked me, “Mom, will you help me learn to read?” I asked her some questions to see if she had a picture in her mind about what the helping would look like. It didn’t look like having someone who teaches reading come and help her. It didn’t look like doing worksheets like she has seen her friends who are in school bring to the playground after school and proudly show their parents. She asked if remembering a word counted as reading (like recognizing a stop sign). I said sure it does and that is part of how some people learn to read. I talked about how she is learning to read when she tells me a story or puts up some letters on her magnet board and asks me what they spell (which is usually something hilarious sounding to her:-) or writes her name in the sand at the beach. This seemed to reassure her and the conversation moved on but I didn’t really answer her question “Mom, will you help me learn to read?”
I read to her a lot as a baby and toddler. A whole lot because I hadn’t yet gotten over my anti-television bias. I got over that and she began to pick more shows to watch and now we rarely read together. We do watch a lot together! She has said that she does not like books. I have a feeling that is because she cannot read them and is frustrated by that as she likes to be good at things right away. I’ve been reading about children learning to read on their own from Sandra’s website, Peter Gray’s writing and others and I am confident that she will learn to read. I do have some idea that she may be dyslexic . I have been learning about that possibility from “The Gift of Dyslexia,” which I found recommended when I searched the conversation archives on this list.
What’s really on my mind is that she is asking for help and I am unsure how to give it. I mean, if she had asked “Will you help me make pancakes?” or “Will you help me find more Monster High videos on Youtube?” or “Will you help me make an aquarium?” then I would say “Sure” and get right to the helping part. Any ideas about how to honor her request? Anybody else had this question from their child?
Thanks,
Anita Yamaguchi
Sandra Dodd
-=-What’s really on my mind is that she is asking for help and I am unsure how to give it. I mean, if she had asked “Will you help me make pancakes?” or “Will you help me find more Monster High videos on Youtube?” or “Will you help me make an aquarium?” then I would say “Sure” and get right to the helping part. Any ideas about how to honor her request? Anybody else had this question from their child?-=-
Pancakes take half an hour, though, and you can do the hard parts for her.
Helping her find videos on YouTube involves YOUR reading and writing.
And an aquarium? Might be too expensive. Might not be possible.
But reading will come from inside her—her own understanding and abilities and awareness. None of your reading or measuring or purchasing materials will BE reading.
So don’tfeel bad about the comparison. Your analogies are flawed.
BUT if you tell her it takes a while and someday she’ll be able to read well, there are a couple of games you might play (if she likes them and is having fun).
One involves sticky notes. Not too many—ten or fifteen.
Write the names of things on them—words kind of easy to read. Bowl, table, lamp, book, chair, floor. Then mix them up. Don’t put them on things that aren’t in the game, so a list might help. Then help her put them on the right things. What she might recognize is the look OOO in the middle, or the initial letter, or something that’s like a sound in her name, maybe. And some she might only get by elimination. Don’t quiz her or do anything that’s not fun. If she gets frustrated help her more, or finish it yourself. And leave those there if she wants, or not if she doesn’t want. If they didn’t get very dirty, maybe you could stack them back up and use them again someday.
The other is “word jail.” That’s a long-term game.
Get 3x5 cards and a little box they will fit in (doesn’tneed to be a file box—just a showbox, maybe) and the box is the jail.
The words she knows go one on a card. Words she asks about or wants to learn go on cards in another pile. Those piles will grow, over months or years. And sometimes if she wants to play with them, let her go through and read the words she knows. Maybe, each time, she will be able to read another card or three from the other pile, can put it in words she knows.
But neither of those piles is “word jail.”
Word jail is those words that just don’t make any sense. Crazy words whose spellings seem wrong, because they’re so old that there are vestigial letters that once were pronounced and no longer are.
Word jail could have words she knows, too. Maybe a card for the “known words” pile and a duplicate for word jail.
It doesn’t matter if there are duplicates. The point shouldn’t be to count them or to keep track. The point should be for her to see that she knows a few words (even if it’s just her name, her dog’s name, her town or street name) and for you both to smile and laugh and see that reading has easy parts and harder parts, and that when kids aren’t in school there’s no big hurry.
Sandra
kgharriman1@...
It could also be that she might move on quickly from wanting to learn to read perhaps. Our eldest girls aged 9 and 7 have at different times, especially our eldest, wanted me to help her to learn something (get maths books or spelling workbooks or whatever... I am talking about 3 years ago or so when she was around 6) but the desire waned just as quickly as it appeared. She lost interest and quickly moved on.
That may or may not happen for you, but I thought I would just mention our experience anyway in case you find she suddenly loses interest in wanting to learn to read. It might just be a passing momentary thing.
Clare Kirkpatrick
"My six-year old daughter recently asked me, “Mom, will you help me learn to read?” "
My younger kids enjoyed playing a computer game called Reading Eggs on and off. When my children asked me this, I said 'I am helping you learn to read already - I read words you don't know to you, I help you spell words when you're trying to write something...all that is learning to read'. What about magnetic words for the fridge to play with? Playing computer games (especially social ones) is an awesome way of learning to read.
http://www.wired.com/2014/10/video-game-literacy/
Sent from Samsung Mobile
Tara Johansson
My kids all like to have the subtitles on our TV, it helps my older ones if it gets noisy unexpectedly in the house drowning out the dialog, the younger ones have started to correlate the dialog with the subtitles at the bottom of the screen. Pokemon, Minecraft, and many iPad games have also helped my children learn to read.
I assisted them when they needed spelling or reading help and their skills have grown. They recognized these activities as helping them read so you could point them out to her so that she can add them into her ideas of learning to read.
Tara J.
Sent from my iPad
Tara J.
Sent from my iPad
On Oct 29, 2014, at 1:37 AM, Clare Kirkpatrick clare.kirkpatrick@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:
"My six-year old daughter recently asked me, “Mom, will you help me learn to read?” "My younger kids enjoyed playing a computer game called Reading Eggs on and off. When my children asked me this, I said 'I am helping you learn to read already - I read words you don't know to you, I help you spell words when you're trying to write something...all that is learning to read'. What about magnetic words for the fridge to play with? Playing computer games (especially social ones) is an awesome way of learning to read.Sent from Samsung Mobile
Kirsty Harriman
Oh yes Reading Eggs has been very popular on our house too. It's rather schooly in some sections (many if not all Australian schools use it) but still lots of fun games as well so my children kinds of avoid the schooly bits and just play the games there. It's been very on and off too. Our eldest (9) is no longer interested at all but she enjoyed it a lot at 5 and 6 and our 4 year old son who just turned 5 had enjoyed it (Mathseeds is an associated program).
Sent from my Samsung GALAXY Note3 on the Telstra 4G network
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Both my kids wanted to read before they were fluently reading or ready.
With both of them I told them that they were already learning. I pointed out the words they could already recognize and told them that little by little they would recognize more and more and learn more and more .
What they wanted was to be able to do things and read things NOW!
Which made me step up my presence and help reading for them and being next to them so they could ask me to read for them.
I did show them a few online sites like Starfall.com that they could do.
My son did it for a few minutes but went back to his favorite games and my daughter did not even bother.
So I read more for them. Games, conversations , signs and anything they wanted!
I pointed out the words they were reading! Even it it was just store names like Toys'r'Us and Target. Or My Little Pony or Super Mario!
There is always something the child knows! And I told them that little by little they would learn more!
I have a friend that when her son was worried about not reading later at about 10 years old they had a word a week they worked on!
It made him happy to be learning that word! What she did was just write the word in cards, post it notes and have him look at it or around the house! Nothing big . No real lesson.
Now my daughter started reading fluently at a few months after she was 7. Exactly one year before that she wanted and wanted to do the annual test my son takes to comply with our local homeschool legislation.
So I had her take the test. She was on target for age and grade. Who knew?
Kids in school are not really reading everything. They are reading from a set of words. The books are for their grade and that makes it seem like they are reading! My daughter could "read" very simple My little Pony books too before she was reading fluently.
With both of them I told them that they were already learning. I pointed out the words they could already recognize and told them that little by little they would recognize more and more and learn more and more .
What they wanted was to be able to do things and read things NOW!
Which made me step up my presence and help reading for them and being next to them so they could ask me to read for them.
I did show them a few online sites like Starfall.com that they could do.
My son did it for a few minutes but went back to his favorite games and my daughter did not even bother.
So I read more for them. Games, conversations , signs and anything they wanted!
I pointed out the words they were reading! Even it it was just store names like Toys'r'Us and Target. Or My Little Pony or Super Mario!
There is always something the child knows! And I told them that little by little they would learn more!
I have a friend that when her son was worried about not reading later at about 10 years old they had a word a week they worked on!
It made him happy to be learning that word! What she did was just write the word in cards, post it notes and have him look at it or around the house! Nothing big . No real lesson.
Now my daughter started reading fluently at a few months after she was 7. Exactly one year before that she wanted and wanted to do the annual test my son takes to comply with our local homeschool legislation.
So I had her take the test. She was on target for age and grade. Who knew?
Kids in school are not really reading everything. They are reading from a set of words. The books are for their grade and that makes it seem like they are reading! My daughter could "read" very simple My little Pony books too before she was reading fluently.
That is what they call reading in school. I call reading when they can read most everything and understand it!
I remember one of GIgi's Girls Scouts friend that could read at 6 really well. Later she told me she could not understand what she was reading! That was the most interesting and eye opening things ever for me.
How can you read and not understand. If my child can read they can understand what they are reading!
How can you read and not understand. If my child can read they can understand what they are reading!
Alex
On Wednesday, October 29, 2014 7:06 PM, "Kirsty Harriman kgharriman1@... [AlwaysLearning]" <[email protected]> wrote:
Oh yes Reading Eggs has been very popular on our house too. It's rather schooly in some sections (many if not all Australian schools use it) but still lots of fun games as well so my children kinds of avoid the schooly bits and just play the games there. It's been very on and off too. Our eldest (9) is no longer interested at all but she enjoyed it a lot at 5 and 6 and our 4 year old son who just turned 5 had enjoyed it (Mathseeds is an associated program).
Sent from my Samsung GALAXY Note3 on the Telstra 4G network
Sandra Dodd
=-I remember one of GIgi's Girls Scouts friend that could read at 6 really well. Later she told me she could not understand what she was reading! That was the most interesting and eye opening things ever for me.
How can you read and not understand. If my child can read they can understand what they are reading!-=-
How can you read and not understand. If my child can read they can understand what they are reading!-=-
"Reading" in school is speaking aloud the words one sees.
If I 'read' Portuguese—if I could know enough phonics to get 90% of the words right, and read them aloud to you and Marta—I wouldn't understand 90% of what I was "reading."
And you're right that it's not the kind of reading kids do who figure it out naturally. On tests when I was a kid, "reading" was one score and "reading comprehension" was a separate different section of the test, and score.
Sandra
Jo Isaac
Sandra said
==And you're right that it's not the kind of reading kids do who figure it out naturally. On tests when I was a kid, "reading" was one score and "reading comprehension" was a separate different section of the test, and score.==
Kai's learning to read right now (which is super awesome to watch!) and I've been thinking about this a lot. In school they make a big deal about 'Learning to read' and then 'reading to learn', but it seems to me for unschoolers who learn to read in their own time, there is no time when they aren't reading to learn, even when they are learning to read (sorry, i'm probably not articulating this very well).
I see Kai now reading things on Minecraft, or other games, and he is reading to learn how to do stuff, so his comprehension is integral to what he's trying to accomplish - there's been no time where he was reading just for the sake of learning to read, without wanting to understand what he was reading for an explicit purpose.
==And you're right that it's not the kind of reading kids do who figure it out naturally. On tests when I was a kid, "reading" was one score and "reading comprehension" was a separate different section of the test, and score.==
Kai's learning to read right now (which is super awesome to watch!) and I've been thinking about this a lot. In school they make a big deal about 'Learning to read' and then 'reading to learn', but it seems to me for unschoolers who learn to read in their own time, there is no time when they aren't reading to learn, even when they are learning to read (sorry, i'm probably not articulating this very well).
I see Kai now reading things on Minecraft, or other games, and he is reading to learn how to do stuff, so his comprehension is integral to what he's trying to accomplish - there's been no time where he was reading just for the sake of learning to read, without wanting to understand what he was reading for an explicit purpose.
kerry bennassar
Hi Families,
--
Kerry, Javier, Nico & Jaz
We have been using Starfall.com, a free site that Los Angeles county schools use ( my boys found out from their schooled friends) for my 6 1/2 year old. He really enjoys it.
My 9 year old (then 8 ) asked me to teach him to read. I asked him what that would look like and he said I could teach him a few words and sound out with him for 10 mins a day. :)
We always ended up reading for more time because he wanted to.
Now he's reading chapter books and he said "Reading is great! It's like watching a movie. It's in my own mind! I love it! "
He got to discover reading at his own pace.
:)
Kerry in Los Angeles
Sent from my Samsung GALAXY Note3 on the Telstra 4G network
--
Cátia Maciel
Hello,
I'm sorry to jump no the conversation. My son is 5 years old, se are portugueses, living NEAT Lisbon, he was never at school.
Very often adults in the family, social gatherings, or just on the street, ask him how is school - or any other question that involves school - and when he says he is not in school they respond something like "you have to go to school or you will not learn how to read". As a result, my son is saying very often, even at home "i don't want to learn how to read because i don't want to go to school".
When he does something related to reading - like copy the words LEGO GAME from a paper we have no the table to find new videos on YouTube - he does not think he is reading. If i say that what he does is reading - for exemple when he reads a store or brand name - he refuses saying it is not readind so i dont insist on it.
I wonder if i keep giving him oportunities to read without talking about it or if i explain that there is no need to be teached to learn to read. He seams to young to know what teaching and learning is... Sometimes I feel like saying that he learned to count and make calculs without having a teacher so, reading will be learned too, one day... He likes numbers a lot more then letters.
How did the others deal with this coments from other people and, did those coments had an impact in your kids?
Thank you
Cátia Maciel
(Sent from a mobile device.)
"kerry bennassar kerryhorton@... [AlwaysLearning]" <[email protected]> escreveu:
--
Kerry, Javier, Nico & Jaz
I'm sorry to jump no the conversation. My son is 5 years old, se are portugueses, living NEAT Lisbon, he was never at school.
Very often adults in the family, social gatherings, or just on the street, ask him how is school - or any other question that involves school - and when he says he is not in school they respond something like "you have to go to school or you will not learn how to read". As a result, my son is saying very often, even at home "i don't want to learn how to read because i don't want to go to school".
When he does something related to reading - like copy the words LEGO GAME from a paper we have no the table to find new videos on YouTube - he does not think he is reading. If i say that what he does is reading - for exemple when he reads a store or brand name - he refuses saying it is not readind so i dont insist on it.
I wonder if i keep giving him oportunities to read without talking about it or if i explain that there is no need to be teached to learn to read. He seams to young to know what teaching and learning is... Sometimes I feel like saying that he learned to count and make calculs without having a teacher so, reading will be learned too, one day... He likes numbers a lot more then letters.
How did the others deal with this coments from other people and, did those coments had an impact in your kids?
Thank you
Cátia Maciel
(Sent from a mobile device.)
"kerry bennassar kerryhorton@... [AlwaysLearning]" <[email protected]> escreveu:
Hi Families,
We have been using Starfall.com, a free site that Los Angeles county schools use ( my boys found out from their schooled friends) for my 6 1/2 year old. He really enjoys it.
My 9 year old (then 8 ) asked me to teach him to read. I asked him what that would look like and he said I could teach him a few words and sound out with him for 10 mins a day. :)
We always ended up reading for more time because he wanted to.
Now he's reading chapter books and he said "Reading is great! It's like watching a movie. It's in my own mind! I love it! "
He got to discover reading at his own pace.
:)
Kerry in Los Angeles
Sent from my Samsung GALAXY Note3 on the Telstra 4G network
--
Sandra Dodd
Tell him the other families tell their children “you can’t learn unles you go to school” because that’s what their parents told them.
-=-As a result, my son is saying very often, even at home "i don't want to learn how to read because i don't want to go to school”.=-
You could say “Okay.” :-)
Joyce Fetteroll
*** As a result, my son is saying very often, even at home "i don't
want to learn how to read because i don't want to go to school” ***
How long can he believe that idea?
Testing out a theory to see how well it works in the world *is* how we learn. :-)
As long as a theory isn't hurting someone -- and this theory just can't work for very long -- it's okay to let kids see what happens.
This might not be as obvious in Portuguese, but in English there are some common, but irregular, verbs:
I look now.
I looked in the past.
Adding -ed is the common way to change present tense to past tense. But some verbs don't do that.
I sing now.
I sang in the past.
When kids first start talking, they'll *memorize* look/looked and sing/sang. They'll use the verbs correctly. At some point, though, they'll realize that to refer to the past you add -ed to a verb. So they'll suddenly get some verbs wrong that they had been saying right. "I singed." "I runned."
But there's no need to correct it. They can't hold onto the theory that -ed turns all verbs into past tense very long. It's self correcting. Everyone around them will be saying sang and ran, not singed and runned.
The same with deciding he won't read.
You can say, "You don't have to learn to read. But if you do find you're reading even though you don't want to, I promise not to send you to school."
The logic doesn't really work! But that's okay. Realizing something doesn't make sense is part of learning.
Joyce
want to learn how to read because i don't want to go to school” ***
How long can he believe that idea?
Testing out a theory to see how well it works in the world *is* how we learn. :-)
As long as a theory isn't hurting someone -- and this theory just can't work for very long -- it's okay to let kids see what happens.
This might not be as obvious in Portuguese, but in English there are some common, but irregular, verbs:
I look now.
I looked in the past.
Adding -ed is the common way to change present tense to past tense. But some verbs don't do that.
I sing now.
I sang in the past.
When kids first start talking, they'll *memorize* look/looked and sing/sang. They'll use the verbs correctly. At some point, though, they'll realize that to refer to the past you add -ed to a verb. So they'll suddenly get some verbs wrong that they had been saying right. "I singed." "I runned."
But there's no need to correct it. They can't hold onto the theory that -ed turns all verbs into past tense very long. It's self correcting. Everyone around them will be saying sang and ran, not singed and runned.
The same with deciding he won't read.
You can say, "You don't have to learn to read. But if you do find you're reading even though you don't want to, I promise not to send you to school."
The logic doesn't really work! But that's okay. Realizing something doesn't make sense is part of learning.
Joyce
Sandra Dodd
-=-You can say, "You don't have to learn to read. But if you do find you're reading even though you don't want to, I promise not to send you to school.”-=-
Poor kids at school, being pressed to read boring things they didn’tchoose!
When Holly could read, she said one day that she couldn’t see words without knowing what they said. Everything she looked at turned to meaning. :-)
With Marty, several years before that, when he started to read we would joke about it and I would say “If we wanted you to learn to read, we would have sent you to school.” and shake my head, or roll my eyes, or say “Why are you trying to read? Just don’t.” All very light and joking, when we were in the car and he would read something off a billboard or street sign or storefront.
It might not work in a situation where a child is worried, but when the moment comes that the sets of letters turn to words, it happens. :-)
Sandra
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Exactly!
I learned to read in Korean Hangul. I can read anything but I have no idea what I am reading.
I learned the alphabet and the sounds so I can read it!
I learned to read in Korean Hangul. I can read anything but I have no idea what I am reading.
I learned the alphabet and the sounds so I can read it!
On Saturday, November 1, 2014 1:53 PM, "Sandra Dodd Sandra@... [AlwaysLearning]" <[email protected]> wrote:
-=-You can say, "You don't have to learn to read. But if you do find you're reading even though you don't want to, I promise not to send you to school.”-=-
Poor kids at school, being pressed to read boring things they didn’tchoose!
When Holly could read, she said one day that she couldn’t see words without knowing what they said. Everything she looked at turned to meaning. :-)
With Marty, several years before that, when he started to read we would joke about it and I would say “If we wanted you to learn to read, we would have sent you to school.” and shake my head, or roll my eyes, or say “Why are you trying to read? Just don’t.” All very light and joking, when we were in the car and he would read something off a billboard or street sign or storefront.
It might not work in a situation where a child is worried, but when the moment comes that the sets of letters turn to words, it happens. :-)
Sandra