Stacey Valnes

Appreciate the feedback and being taken to unschooling...haha...I have much learn.

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----- Reply message -----
From: "Sandra Dodd Sandra@... [AlwaysLearning]" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Relationships
Date: Sun, Jun 15, 2014 6:06 PM


-=-Hi Claire - the short and simple answer is usually the best-=-

The short and simple answer is probably "no," and that's not usually best for people moving toward understanding unschooling better.

It's much better to think about options, choices, than "answers."
It's better to think about "better" than "best," too.  

This was sent by someone who closed with "A Beginner at Unschooling..."

The bad thing about these things is that they are fluff.  "Support."  They might not be true, and they're not very useful.

-=-You're son will be fine in all aspects if you support his interests.  The only control that is good is self control.  Let go of everything else.  Worrying is a waste of time.  You're son is perfect just as he is.  Life in his light, not his shadow.-=-

Self control is still control, and isn't nearly as good as moving toward making mindful choices many times a day.

We don't know that her son is perfect, or will be fine.  We don't know if life is his light. He might be in a bad situation.  If no parent ever worried, there would be no need whatsoever for a discussion like this one.   We aren't trying to keep people worried—we're helping them NOT worry.  But to say that worrying is a waste of time, flat out as though words create truth, worries me in the context of this discussion. :-)

If worrying is a waste of time, we could just all put our kids in school, and never worry about anything.
Sometimes something happens that is unsettling, and from that (probably slight)agitation comes the impetus to make a decision.  Change can be pretty wonderful.  Sometimes there is a bit of worry before a big change.

I was surprised to see such a long list of support-messages from a dad.  Usually it's moms who do that.  Sorry to be sexist about it, but let's all avoid those positive statements that aren't really helpful.

I might add a couple of them to my collection here, even though the images show them coming from moms.