Sandra Dodd

The idea of "learning styles" (very big in the 1980s) was not to limit input to one style, but to acknowledge and remember that people learn with all their senses, and to expand their opportunities to learn with any or all of their different ways of understanding and experiencing.


I wrote that for a discussion about reading, on facebook, where someone had said her children were "kinesthetic learners."

It made me think of the question about learning by playing, though, from this thread:
Questions about Culture/ Freedom to Learn
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/message/71905

That one went toward parental attitude and political stance.

Let's go another direction.

Children do learn from playing. They experiment with tools, materials, textures, movements, sounds. They imitate the older people around the. They imitate animals, and fictional characters. They try on voices, faces, postures and ideas.

Parents should encourage and facilitate their playful experimentation.

Parents can learn playfully, too. And by doing that, they will be better unschoolers.
If a parent has forgotten how to learn playfully, regaining that ability will have many advantages:

-deschooling and recovery from the factors that persuaded them to stop seeing the world through happy and curious eyes

-a better understanding of the kind of learning they can help children experience

-more and easier learning for themselves in whatever curiosities, hobbies, or areas of need-to-know will come along in daily life.

When the idea of learning styles first became big, the idea was for teachers in schools to proved more kinds of experiences in the classroom and not to expect all the children to learn well in that reading-and-writing way that is much easier for some than for others. Kids also needed to hear things aurally, ear-to-brain. And they also benefitted from being able to touch things (depending on the topic) and to see things. Some need to discuss things.

So for unschoolers, remember to have things to touch, taste, hear, see. And smell, maybe, sometimes.

Think of different senses, for a good, whole learning experience. And remember that what a child is learning might come in the tinest increments over many years, and don't need to be focussed in "lessons" (and totally forget about "units" and "subjects."

http://sandradodd.com/checklists will help newer unschoolers, and maybe be a good reminder for more experienced unschoolers who have become complacent about how things are going.

Parents should be positive and generous and enriching, to make unschooling really flourish.

Sandra

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barbaramatessa

====Children do learn from playing. They experiment with tools, materials, textures, movements, sounds. They imitate the older people around the. They imitate animals, and fictional characters. They try on voices, faces, postures and ideas.
>
> Parents should encourage and facilitate their playful experimentation.
>
> -deschooling and recovery from the factors that persuaded them to stop seeing the world through happy and curious eyes =====

Reading Gray's Free to Learn (and I've read Pam L's book Free to Learn, too, which is wonderful), helped me see the value in my son's play. I knew play was valuable, but it takes quite a bit of unlearning and softening to see play through new eyes. And Gray's definition of play is very open. He said that writing his book was 80% play! Play is fun; play is being in "flow". Sandra says "Learning for fun is the best way to learn, and to live,".

Really, it makes me want to cry for all of us who were told, too young, to "put away childish things". Play is for forever! My brother was told at his parochial school that if Jesus came back to Earth while he (or other kids) were playing (instead of working at school, or praying, or something) that he would go to hell.

For me, getting unschooling/natural learning is like staring at a 3-D picture. I know there's a way to see the world that is more open and joyful, so I stare hard at the big picture. I read bits of Sandra's website, and I believe what Pam S, and Pam L, and Joyce and Meredith and Alex say... but I can't see it yet.

Suddenly, my eyes soften and shift focus, and I can SEE it! I have a glimpse of the rainbow, but only for a moment! I see my beautiful boy in all his perfection, his joyful learning through play. Too soon my eyes shift back and the picture is fuzzy again, but I saw enough for me to know that the picture is real, and it's beautiful. Different days I get small glimpses of the picture. Sometimes I see the choices in food we have, their colors and packages and the bounty of it all, and I bring my son into that picture to share that with him. Other days I see the possibilities in clothing and appearance and get a clear sense that none of that really matters.

Over time, my vision has changed, and it's getting easier to shift between the "hidden" picture and the fuzz. Sometimes I am scared that I won't be able to see the picture, and that's when I want to hang on tightly to it, protect and defend it, put a bubble around it, and surround myself only with others who see it. Ironically, my vision narrows instead of expands when I'm fearful. Seeing in 3-D is about softening and trusting. That confidence can only come from within and only through time.

I had another fun thought today... It's kind of a paradox, what we're doing, saying YES to our children more, while at the same time being accepting of their NO.

Barb

Sandra Dodd

-=-Suddenly, my eyes soften and shift focus, and I can SEE it! I have a glimpse of the rainbow, but only for a moment! I see my beautiful boy in all his perfection, his joyful learning through play. Too soon my eyes shift back and the picture is fuzzy again, but I saw enough for me to know that the picture is real, and it's beautiful. Different days I get small glimpses of the picture. Sometimes I see the choices in food we have, their colors and packages and the bounty of it all, and I bring my son into that picture to share that with him. Other days I see the possibilities in clothing and appearance and get a clear sense that none of that really matters. -=-

I like the analogy, but I hope it's not as infrequent as you're making it seem.

-=- Sometimes I see the choices in food we have...-=-

Why not every time you open the fridge, or decide which loaf of bread to use, or whether to use white rice or brown? At the grocery store, there isn't anything you couldn't choose to buy, and nothing that you "have to" buy, right?

-=-Over time, my vision has changed, and it's getting easier to shift between the "hidden" picture and the fuzz.-=-

http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
There's not anything hiding those choices and that learning except school conditioning, I bet.


-=- Sometimes I am scared that I won't be able to see the picture, and that's when I want to hang on tightly to it, protect and defend it, put a bubble around it, and surround myself only with others who see it. Ironically, my vision narrows instead of expands when I'm fearful. Seeing in 3-D is about softening and trusting. That confidence can only come from within and only through time.-=-

Not ironic.
http://sandradodd.com/stress
And so, too, with your kids. If you stress them, you block their ability to learn, until they relax again, and soften, and trust, as you 've said.

-=-I had another fun thought today... It's kind of a paradox, what we're doing, saying YES to our children more, while at the same time being accepting of their NO.-=-

You're looking at the "yes" and the "no" instead of at the world between them.

Sandra

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Pam Sorooshian

On Sun, Aug 11, 2013 at 3:35 PM, barbaramatessa <bjelwell@...> wrote:

> He said that writing his book was 80% play! Play is fun; play is being in
> "flow". Sandra says "Learning for fun is the best way to learn, and to
> live,".


When I used to do a lot of statistics work, lots of that was "playing
around" with ideas and techniques. It felt exactly like the kind of feeling
of play as fairly sophisticated tabletop games such as Dominion. Some of it
was tedious, but so is some of a game, sometimes.

-pam


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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

<<<<<<Over time, my vision has changed, and it's getting easier to shift between the "hidden" picture and the fuzz. Sometimes I am scared that I won't be able to see the picture, and that's when I want to hang on tightly to it, protect and defend it, put a bubble around it, and surround myself only with others who see it. Ironically, my vision narrows instead of expands when I'm fearful. Seeing in 3-D is about softening and trusting. That confidence can only come from within and only through time.>>>>
It seems you are still holding on to a vision of how your children need to be or how things are done or how learning happens.



If your child is more important than your vision of your child, life becomes easier.


Sandra Dodd wrote that.

When your vision is fuzzy it maybe because you are NOT looking at your children and seeing them at all but the vision of your child you created .
 Look at them. Forget about what children, even other unschool children you may read about here.

They are whole people , growing and learning right in front of you. Throw away the vision you have  and embrace who they are.
Ask yourself if your fears are real or if they have any basis.   Do they? 
Sometimes people have not even stopped and ask themselves what are their fears and if they are really real or just in your head.:)


Alex Polikowsky

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chris ester

On Sun, Aug 11, 2013 at 8:24 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

> **
> >>>>http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
>
> There's not anything hiding those choices and that learning except school
> conditioning, I bet.<<<<<
>
It isn't just school. As a child, I was a real daydreamer. I spent a lot
of time looking at the world, and thinking about THINGS. I was one of
those kids who would sit and watch a flower open. This got me labeled as
"lazy". A math teacher once spent nearly a quarter of one class railing
against calculators and how they made all of us kids "lazy". TV makes a
person "lazy".... and there are many other examples of how some choices are
considered right and others wrong.


> >>>>>>You're looking at the "yes" and the "no" instead of at the world
> between them.<<<<<
>
This isn't entirely related (but for some reason made me think of this) ,
but when you trust your children, they learn to trust you. Once, when my
children were told to come out of the water (at the beach) with no apparent
rhyme or reason, they just came right out. They were told to come out
because my brother in law had spotted a shark just about 10 feet away.
This goes with the "our children are nice because we're nice to them".

>
>
>
Chris


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barbaramatessa

====
> http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
> There's not anything hiding those choices and that learning except school conditioning, I bet.
====

I agree; I think I'm still in the deschooling stage. Yet, it's not just school conditioning that I'm letting go of, though. It's familial and religious conditioning--it's cultural conditioning.

There's a lot of cultural shame that surrounds our most basic human drives: play, eating, sexuality, etc.

There's still so much cultural shame in having a less than "perfect" body or a messy house.

Of course our bodies are perfect, and our messy houses are perfect for raising children. Our bodies and our houses are "lived in".

The analogy I used of the 3-D hidden picture explains the stage I'm in now. I'd love to get to the stage where I am seeing and living fully in 3-D, where I've integrated this new way of being/seeing so fully that it is my reality.

When I looked at myself and my children I mostly saw flaws. This was the combination of culture and biology--I am a highly sensitive person, an introvert who feels things very deeply. I am more susceptible to the cultural messages that I was not good enough. I suffered from depression and anxiety for years.

Unschooling is completely and utterly radical. I understand that changes happen on an individual level, but there are such broad implications for cultural change.

Barb

Sandra Dodd

-=-Unschooling is completely and utterly radical.-=-

Not a good word to use, unfortunately. "Radical" has more than one meaning, and we (this team and the lists and message boards the main longtime posters here came from, participate(d) on, created) are using it as "from the roots," seminal, essential, radiating from the seed of it.

-=-I understand that changes happen on an individual level, but there are such broad implications for cultural change. -=-

You're looking at politics in the distance. What Always Learning is set up to discuss is in your foreground. Don't look over. Don't overlook.

Sandra

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D. Regan

On 14/08/2013, at 8:07 AM, barbaramatessa wrote:

> I'd love to get to the stage where I am seeing and living fully in 3-D, where I've integrated this new way of being/seeing so fully that it is my reality.

It can help not to try so hard to take it all on as a big new idea, but to gradually incorporate aspects of it into your life. Look for aspects that make sense to you now. Start to make one or two changes that do make sense to you.

It might be, for example, to be more present with each of your children when you are with them. To engage with them on their terms more. For some people, that may be a bit challenging to do in practice, but people here can help with practical ideas if you're having trouble.

Or perhaps saying yes more makes good sense to you. You may not really understand how it would change anything significantly or lead to understanding unschooling better, but focussing on being a kinder, more positive parent is a good step you could focus on for now.

Starting somewhere that does make sense to you will help you to grow and learn and change perspective, in a way that trying to get all the various ideas in your head to come to some agreement, won't.
Your perspective will change when you've experienced new things, seen the world from a different place.

Debbie.

Sandra Dodd

-=-When I looked at myself and my children I mostly saw flaws. This was the combination of culture and biology--I am a highly sensitive person, an introvert who feels things very deeply. I am more susceptible to the cultural messages that I was not good enough. I suffered from depression and anxiety for years.-=-

Breathing will help. It probably seems like a lame, small suggestion, but if you try it each day, even once a day, for a bit, I think you'll be better at using oxygen to bring yourself to a calmer place. Not *perfectly* calm. Calmer. :-)

http://sandradodd.com/breathing

There is some explanation here, at the bottom, about "making the better choice." REAL choices. Don't act, speak or think automatically all day, all the time. Practice stopping, thinking of two choics and consciously making the better choice. Think through the why. Then choose.
http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully

At first it will seem awkward, probably. Soon you might do it three times a day, or five. Soon ten. Before long (if you actually do it) THAT will be the thing you do without stopping to think about it.

And this might help, too. But this is a lot of reading. Maybe only look at one at a time, but come back to the others.

http://sandradodd.com/joy

Sandra

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julieeph320

Oh Barb! I feel so led to be here (just joined this morning) when I read "our bodies and houses are lived in!!!" Love that so much!!!

I too am still deschooling; deconditioning; it's good for us as people but a real challenge!! I realised that afresh when reading Sandra Dodd yesterday. I am late-ish and having to send a year end report, a summary, it shouldnt be hard to do really, but I must get into the right mindset to write it without feeling I am not truthful or embellishing, for it is a "schooly" report I must write. VERY gratefully the school board for the Province of Nova Scotia is for, not against, homeschooling, and wants to know what we're up to on a curious way, supportive. The school board was questioned by an official as to whether homeschooling was valid and proveable, so we are on a radar - but - we were assured that we are simply to tell what we did...

Still, I am collecting my thoughts and confidence in order to type and send in our year end reports for ages 7, 9, and 16.
I have a 21 year old who joined high school after unschooling from 5th to 10th grade. Learnngn through Life for sure.

Going to read more posts, thank you group!!
Julie

--- In [email protected], "barbaramatessa" <bjelwell@...> wrote:
>
> ====
> > http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
> > There's not anything hiding those choices and that learning except school conditioning, I bet.
> ====
>
> I agree; I think I'm still in the deschooling stage. Yet, it's not just school conditioning that I'm letting go of, though. It's familial and religious conditioning--it's cultural conditioning.
>
> There's a lot of cultural shame that surrounds our most basic human drives: play, eating, sexuality, etc.
>
> There's still so much cultural shame in having a less than "perfect" body or a messy house.
>
> Of course our bodies are perfect, and our messy houses are perfect for raising children. Our bodies and our houses are "lived in".
>
> The analogy I used of the 3-D hidden picture explains the stage I'm in now. I'd love to get to the stage where I am seeing and living fully in 3-D, where I've integrated this new way of being/seeing so fully that it is my reality.
>
> When I looked at myself and my children I mostly saw flaws. This was the combination of culture and biology--I am a highly sensitive person, an introvert who feels things very deeply. I am more susceptible to the cultural messages that I was not good enough. I suffered from depression and anxiety for years.
>
> Unschooling is completely and utterly radical. I understand that changes happen on an individual level, but there are such broad implications for cultural change.
>
> Barb
>

Sandra Dodd

You might find some ideas for phrasing and things you might not have thought about here:

http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum

But PLEASE check with others where you live before you do too much work. It's very likely they want a Very Brief description.

Sandra

barbaramatessa

Thank you for gently pointing me in a better direction. I will stop ranting about culture and politics. Thanks for the reminder to breathe.

I look forward to meeting you, Pam S, Joanna, Rose and Roya in person in October at the HSC unschooling symposium.

http://www.hsc.org/hsc-unschooling-symposium.html

My sweet husband and kids will plan to have fun at some of the theme parks while I learn, and (hopefully) remember to breathe.

Now back to my two year old girl who is in love with Thomas the tank engine, and my 8 year old son who is in love with Digimon.

Barb in CA