Looking for advice
Sarah
My soon to graduate 18 yr old daughter is a voracious reader, great text book learner/test taker and all around A student. My 13 yr old son, not so much - we did an academic co-op this year, but don't really think he learned a lot of anything - was just like public school, read the chapter remember the stuff long enough to answer the questions, and by the next week, don't have a clue what he read. I obviously need to do something different, just not sure what (also have just turned 8 yr old son). We also spend at least a couple of afternoons a week, volunteering at a local ministry. Any and all suggestions greatly appreciated!
lotsagr8kidz@...
What kind of advice are you seeking? You can gain a lot of great wisdom from listening to the contributors on this list, but it will be from an unschooling perspective. Chances are, learning won't look like the learning you're used to seeing in your eldest son, but it will be even more genuine and real!
I'd start with looking at the things that interest your son, and help him to find joy in that. Maybe he wasn't interested in the classes the co op had to offer. Or, maybe he doesn't enjoy a class format. Either way, I'm sure he's learning things, they just might not be the things you're looking for.
Sandra has a wonderful site. You could browse there for hours! I'd suggest that as a starting place.
Sadie Bugni
Sent from my iPhone
I'd start with looking at the things that interest your son, and help him to find joy in that. Maybe he wasn't interested in the classes the co op had to offer. Or, maybe he doesn't enjoy a class format. Either way, I'm sure he's learning things, they just might not be the things you're looking for.
Sandra has a wonderful site. You could browse there for hours! I'd suggest that as a starting place.
Sadie Bugni
Sent from my iPhone
On Apr 29, 2013, at 1:50 PM, "Sarah" <sarahkruse4404@...> wrote:
> My soon to graduate 18 yr old daughter is a voracious reader, great text book learner/test taker and all around A student. My 13 yr old son, not so much - we did an academic co-op this year, but don't really think he learned a lot of anything - was just like public school, read the chapter remember the stuff long enough to answer the questions, and by the next week, don't have a clue what he read. I obviously need to do something different, just not sure what (also have just turned 8 yr old son). We also spend at least a couple of afternoons a week, volunteering at a local ministry. Any and all suggestions greatly appreciated!
>
>
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Joyce Fetteroll
On Apr 29, 2013, at 1:50 PM, Sarah wrote:
Our brains love pulling patterns out of chaos. It's how we learn to speak -- without even knowing what speech is! -- practically effortlessly.
What's disheartening is that the memorization *feels* like learning because students can repeat it back. But they don't necessarily understand in a rich meaningful way what they've memorized. It's like a trap. It can feel so satisfying to pack your head full of other people's facts of how the world works but it doesn't give you their understanding or help you build your own understanding. It lacks the rich, meaningful connections we form as we play, do stuff, read, see, taste, immerse ourselves in what intrigues us.
*Some* voracious readers do make many rich connections as they read. They're asking questions, seeing patterns, relating what they're learning to what they already know. It's how their brains naturally work.
Most people have had it pounded into their heads that the best way to learn is through books and classes.
So, one, Let go of that idea. :-)
It's *convenient* and *cheap* for schools to depend on books. Schools can have one teacher making 30 kids go through the same process. But humans just don't learn well that way. They can memorize. What they memorized can be tested. It looks good on paper! But it doesn't translate to profound learning. It's the difference between how well you learned your native language and how well you learned a foreign language in school. This might help you let go:
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/talk
Why You Can't Let Go
Two, support him in doing whatever interests him. :-) *At first* he will do things that have been limited (that may have been limited by you saying no or not having enough time). This page might help you worry less as he's filling up on what he felt he never got enough of:
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics
It's about television but it applies to *everything* that's enjoyed but feels limited.
He *will* branch out though it may take a month for each year he's been in school or been learning in schoolish ways. It may look like playing video games and watching TV. Reassure him that it's normal. It's like he's recovering from a broken leg.
Pretend it's summer vacation. Offer things you think *he* might enjoy with total disregard to whether they're "important" or not. If you find yourself thinking "This would be good for him," stop. How would you present this idea to him if it were a tractor pull or skateboard championship? If he turns the idea down, how much investment that he participate do you feel? The goal is to fill his life with interesting opportunities that *he* might enjoy and support him as he explore's what is available.
Joyce
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> we did an academic co-op this year, but don't really think he learnedWhat's surprising isn't that he didn't remember. What's surprising is that it works for some people! ;-)
> a lot of anything - was just like public school, read the chapter remember
> the stuff long enough to answer the questions, and by the next week,
> don't have a clue what he read.
Our brains love pulling patterns out of chaos. It's how we learn to speak -- without even knowing what speech is! -- practically effortlessly.
What's disheartening is that the memorization *feels* like learning because students can repeat it back. But they don't necessarily understand in a rich meaningful way what they've memorized. It's like a trap. It can feel so satisfying to pack your head full of other people's facts of how the world works but it doesn't give you their understanding or help you build your own understanding. It lacks the rich, meaningful connections we form as we play, do stuff, read, see, taste, immerse ourselves in what intrigues us.
*Some* voracious readers do make many rich connections as they read. They're asking questions, seeing patterns, relating what they're learning to what they already know. It's how their brains naturally work.
> I obviously need to do something different, just not sure what (also have just turned 8 yr old son).Two things:
Most people have had it pounded into their heads that the best way to learn is through books and classes.
So, one, Let go of that idea. :-)
It's *convenient* and *cheap* for schools to depend on books. Schools can have one teacher making 30 kids go through the same process. But humans just don't learn well that way. They can memorize. What they memorized can be tested. It looks good on paper! But it doesn't translate to profound learning. It's the difference between how well you learned your native language and how well you learned a foreign language in school. This might help you let go:
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/talk
Why You Can't Let Go
Two, support him in doing whatever interests him. :-) *At first* he will do things that have been limited (that may have been limited by you saying no or not having enough time). This page might help you worry less as he's filling up on what he felt he never got enough of:
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics
It's about television but it applies to *everything* that's enjoyed but feels limited.
He *will* branch out though it may take a month for each year he's been in school or been learning in schoolish ways. It may look like playing video games and watching TV. Reassure him that it's normal. It's like he's recovering from a broken leg.
Pretend it's summer vacation. Offer things you think *he* might enjoy with total disregard to whether they're "important" or not. If you find yourself thinking "This would be good for him," stop. How would you present this idea to him if it were a tractor pull or skateboard championship? If he turns the idea down, how much investment that he participate do you feel? The goal is to fill his life with interesting opportunities that *he* might enjoy and support him as he explore's what is available.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Sandra has a wonderful site. You could browse there for hours! I'd suggest that as a starting place.-=-
Thanks.
I think an even better starting place for someone who doesn't know whether they might want to unschool or not would be the introductory series you can get by e-mail from Pam Laricchia's site.
http://livingjoyfully.ca
And for those who DO know they want to unschool, then my site has plenty of further ideas. :-)
http://sandradodd.com/help
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thanks.
I think an even better starting place for someone who doesn't know whether they might want to unschool or not would be the introductory series you can get by e-mail from Pam Laricchia's site.
http://livingjoyfully.ca
And for those who DO know they want to unschool, then my site has plenty of further ideas. :-)
http://sandradodd.com/help
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
"Sarah" <sarahkruse4404@...> wrote:
Why? Does your son want to do something different or is "just like school" but he gets to be home good enough for him? Depending on where you live, being able to jump through some hoops on the computer and then having lots of time to live his own life might be a fantastic option. Depending on how likely you are to push and prod him about "learning" an online program where he can jump through a few hoops and you don't fuss at him might be better for him and your relationship with him.
---Meredith
>just like public school, read the chapter remember the stuff long enough to answer the questions, and by the next week, don't have a clue what he read. I obviously need to do something different********************
Why? Does your son want to do something different or is "just like school" but he gets to be home good enough for him? Depending on where you live, being able to jump through some hoops on the computer and then having lots of time to live his own life might be a fantastic option. Depending on how likely you are to push and prod him about "learning" an online program where he can jump through a few hoops and you don't fuss at him might be better for him and your relationship with him.
>>don't really think he learned a lot of anything...If he did absolutely nothing but homeschooling, no he probably didn't learn much of anything. But if he did Anything else- read or draw or run around or play video games or surf the web or skate or even daydream- he probably learned loads. It just didn't look like school.
---Meredith