help with sleep in older kids
melgqd
Hi all,
I have two sons 11 and 7. I usually go to sleep with them in their bed (full size) when they are ready to sleep. My husband goes to sleep in our bed much earlier because he gets up early for work. They both really enjoy me being there when they fall asleep (my older son especially gets gripped with fear at night and does much better with me near him). I enjoy it too, however their bedtime has been slowly getting later and later. I don't feel very good if I go to sleep much later than midnight. I'd prefer to sleep about 11 pm, but a bit later is fine. However as they move to an even later time I don't feel well staying up so late. I have never been a late night person. We've talked about meeting all our needs by going to bed a little earlier, but they are just not tired and we end up awake in bed for longer.
So, I'm looking for suggestions about transitioning them to falling asleep without me or some other thing I haven't thought of where I can get more sleep and they can feel comfortable. Any ideas?
The other side to this situation is that my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out, and this is having a negative effect on my health (waking up with headaches, neck pain etc.). It is different recently because everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed). I'm feeling that my quality of sleep is something I need to address.
Thanks,
Melissa
I have two sons 11 and 7. I usually go to sleep with them in their bed (full size) when they are ready to sleep. My husband goes to sleep in our bed much earlier because he gets up early for work. They both really enjoy me being there when they fall asleep (my older son especially gets gripped with fear at night and does much better with me near him). I enjoy it too, however their bedtime has been slowly getting later and later. I don't feel very good if I go to sleep much later than midnight. I'd prefer to sleep about 11 pm, but a bit later is fine. However as they move to an even later time I don't feel well staying up so late. I have never been a late night person. We've talked about meeting all our needs by going to bed a little earlier, but they are just not tired and we end up awake in bed for longer.
So, I'm looking for suggestions about transitioning them to falling asleep without me or some other thing I haven't thought of where I can get more sleep and they can feel comfortable. Any ideas?
The other side to this situation is that my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out, and this is having a negative effect on my health (waking up with headaches, neck pain etc.). It is different recently because everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed). I'm feeling that my quality of sleep is something I need to address.
Thanks,
Melissa
Meredith
If you go to sleep in the boys' bed before they do, can they fall asleep with you already there? Maybe they can watch a movie or do something quiet in the bed with you - or at least in the room with you - if you're not comfortable with them up on their own.
What about re-arranging the whole set-up so your husband has a smaller bed and you lie down with him for a while earlier in the evening - get a little nap, maybe, and then stay up later with the boys and go to bed with them in the larger bed.
Or can your husband sleep if others are coming and lying down at various times? What about having one room wall-to-wall bed (or at least mattress) and everyone sleep there?
---Meredith
>>they are just not tired and we end up awake in bed for longer.Alternately, can you wake them up earlier so they're sleepy earlier?
>>everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed)**************
What about re-arranging the whole set-up so your husband has a smaller bed and you lie down with him for a while earlier in the evening - get a little nap, maybe, and then stay up later with the boys and go to bed with them in the larger bed.
Or can your husband sleep if others are coming and lying down at various times? What about having one room wall-to-wall bed (or at least mattress) and everyone sleep there?
---Meredith
jo kirby
Hello Melissa,
I have been eagerly awaiting replies to your post as I have a similar situation with my six year old son - I am tired way before he is! (even though I'm a night owl too!). Currently we go to sleep together around midnight (my husband usually goes earlier in another room as he gets up way early to go running). We go to bed, as in, we get in bed to hang out, from around ten-ish, and that really helps me to get some rest, even though we're not sleeping. We play games together on the iPad, or he plays and I knit or read, sometimes. Or sometimes I close my eyes for a bit just to rest them. I used to read to him a lot but he doesn't seem to want that at all at the moment. He needs a long time to wind down for sleep. If I make sure I've got enough energy for a half hour or so of chatting in the dark after I turn the light off, things definitely go more smoothly, as we both love those chatting times. Eventually I say I need to go to sleep now, and he is usually
fine with that and will settle to go to sleep too (it's late by this time). But sometimes we've been in the dark, quiet and still (ish!), and he will still be awake half an hour later. His mind can be very active, and he's thinking about stuff and wants to ask questions and chat more.
This struck me from your post: "my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out" Can you not stay in the bed with them and sleep there all night? Could you have a snuggle with your husband earlier in the evening before he goes to sleep and while the boys are still awake and occupied, then later you could retire with them for the whole night? I would think the broken nature of your nights is affecting your health more than the midnight bedtime?...
Jo
Ps. I've included the whole original post below as it's not that long and it's a few days old so I thought it would be clearer what I was talking about!
________________________________
From: melgqd <boisei@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 21 April 2013, 20:05
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] help with sleep in older kids
Hi all,
I have two sons 11 and 7. I usually go to sleep with them in their bed (full size) when they are ready to sleep. My husband goes to sleep in our bed much earlier because he gets up early for work. They both really enjoy me being there when they fall asleep (my older son especially gets gripped with fear at night and does much better with me near him). I enjoy it too, however their bedtime has been slowly getting later and later. I don't feel very good if I go to sleep much later than midnight. I'd prefer to sleep about 11 pm, but a bit later is fine. However as they move to an even later time I don't feel well staying up so late. I have never been a late night person. We've talked about meeting all our needs by going to bed a little earlier, but they are just not tired and we end up awake in bed for longer.
So, I'm looking for suggestions about transitioning them to falling asleep without me or some other thing I haven't thought of where I can get more sleep and they can feel comfortable. Any ideas?
The other side to this situation is that my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out, and this is having a negative effect on my health (waking up with headaches, neck pain etc.). It is different recently because everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed). I'm feeling that my quality of sleep is something I need to address.
Thanks,
Melissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have been eagerly awaiting replies to your post as I have a similar situation with my six year old son - I am tired way before he is! (even though I'm a night owl too!). Currently we go to sleep together around midnight (my husband usually goes earlier in another room as he gets up way early to go running). We go to bed, as in, we get in bed to hang out, from around ten-ish, and that really helps me to get some rest, even though we're not sleeping. We play games together on the iPad, or he plays and I knit or read, sometimes. Or sometimes I close my eyes for a bit just to rest them. I used to read to him a lot but he doesn't seem to want that at all at the moment. He needs a long time to wind down for sleep. If I make sure I've got enough energy for a half hour or so of chatting in the dark after I turn the light off, things definitely go more smoothly, as we both love those chatting times. Eventually I say I need to go to sleep now, and he is usually
fine with that and will settle to go to sleep too (it's late by this time). But sometimes we've been in the dark, quiet and still (ish!), and he will still be awake half an hour later. His mind can be very active, and he's thinking about stuff and wants to ask questions and chat more.
This struck me from your post: "my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out" Can you not stay in the bed with them and sleep there all night? Could you have a snuggle with your husband earlier in the evening before he goes to sleep and while the boys are still awake and occupied, then later you could retire with them for the whole night? I would think the broken nature of your nights is affecting your health more than the midnight bedtime?...
Jo
Ps. I've included the whole original post below as it's not that long and it's a few days old so I thought it would be clearer what I was talking about!
________________________________
From: melgqd <boisei@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 21 April 2013, 20:05
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] help with sleep in older kids
Hi all,
I have two sons 11 and 7. I usually go to sleep with them in their bed (full size) when they are ready to sleep. My husband goes to sleep in our bed much earlier because he gets up early for work. They both really enjoy me being there when they fall asleep (my older son especially gets gripped with fear at night and does much better with me near him). I enjoy it too, however their bedtime has been slowly getting later and later. I don't feel very good if I go to sleep much later than midnight. I'd prefer to sleep about 11 pm, but a bit later is fine. However as they move to an even later time I don't feel well staying up so late. I have never been a late night person. We've talked about meeting all our needs by going to bed a little earlier, but they are just not tired and we end up awake in bed for longer.
So, I'm looking for suggestions about transitioning them to falling asleep without me or some other thing I haven't thought of where I can get more sleep and they can feel comfortable. Any ideas?
The other side to this situation is that my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out, and this is having a negative effect on my health (waking up with headaches, neck pain etc.). It is different recently because everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed). I'm feeling that my quality of sleep is something I need to address.
Thanks,
Melissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
CASS KOTRBA
At our house we all sleep in the master bedroom. Mom, Dad & dog in the king sized bed with a kid on one side on a twin mattress and a kid at the foot of the bed with a bed made of old couch cushions held together by a twin fitted sheet (very comfy). Typically I will go to to bed around 8pm and one or both of the kids will join me then (sometimes my son will hang out with Dad). This is our time for tickling, playing zombie apocalypse, doing flips on the bed (not me, just the kids on that one!), etc. Then Dad will come up around 9pm for more tickle/wind down time. Then around 10 we transition to quieter, electronic activity (tv, lap top, I phone). Dad will fall asleep shortly thereafter but as long as we whisper we can still talk without bothering him. By 11pm I'm totally done but the kids are not so I doze off while they watch or play quietly for about an hour more. Usually they'll be asleep within the next hour and I don't hear them again. Once in awhile I wake up at midnight and they're still up so I ask them if they'll turn stuff off when the current show ends and by then they're ready so they do. We all sleep very well. (Although I will admit there has been a lack of intimacy created by this arrangement that I'd be happy to hear people's suggestions on if anyone is brave enough!)
-=- The other side to this situation is that my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out, and this is having a negative effect on my health (waking up with headaches, neck pain etc.). It is different recently because everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed). I'm feeling that my quality of sleep is something I need to address. -=-
Is there space in the room for 1 or 2 twin sized inflatable mattresses or something like that? I see they have them on Amazon for around $20. Then you guys could spread out a little more and you could spend some nights with the kids all night. On nights when Dad doesn't have to get up early you could move the mattresses into the other bedroom so you could sleep all night with your husband. My kids just love their little beds and the feeling of having a slumber party every night. Changing locations & having Dad there could be exciting!
-=- We go to bed, as in, we get in bed to hang out, from around ten-ish, and that really helps me to get some rest, even though we're not sleeping... He needs a long time to wind down for sleep. If I make sure I've got enough energy for a half hour or so of chatting in the dark after I turn the light off, things definitely go more smoothly, as we both love those chatting times. Eventually I say I need to go to sleep now, and he is usually fine with that and will settle to go to sleep too (it's late by this time). But sometimes we've been in the dark, quiet and still (ish!), and he will still be awake half an hour later. His mind can be very active, and he's thinking about stuff and wants to ask questions and chat more. -=-
Could you transition this whole thing 2-3 hours earlier? Can he find a quiet activity to do by himself when you are completely spent? My kids will still ask me questions after I've closed my eyes and if I'm still awake I'll answer them. I imagine they sometimes ask me questions when I'm asleep but I think I get most of 'em.
-Cass
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=- The other side to this situation is that my sleep is also very interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out, and this is having a negative effect on my health (waking up with headaches, neck pain etc.). It is different recently because everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed). I'm feeling that my quality of sleep is something I need to address. -=-
Is there space in the room for 1 or 2 twin sized inflatable mattresses or something like that? I see they have them on Amazon for around $20. Then you guys could spread out a little more and you could spend some nights with the kids all night. On nights when Dad doesn't have to get up early you could move the mattresses into the other bedroom so you could sleep all night with your husband. My kids just love their little beds and the feeling of having a slumber party every night. Changing locations & having Dad there could be exciting!
-=- We go to bed, as in, we get in bed to hang out, from around ten-ish, and that really helps me to get some rest, even though we're not sleeping... He needs a long time to wind down for sleep. If I make sure I've got enough energy for a half hour or so of chatting in the dark after I turn the light off, things definitely go more smoothly, as we both love those chatting times. Eventually I say I need to go to sleep now, and he is usually fine with that and will settle to go to sleep too (it's late by this time). But sometimes we've been in the dark, quiet and still (ish!), and he will still be awake half an hour later. His mind can be very active, and he's thinking about stuff and wants to ask questions and chat more. -=-
Could you transition this whole thing 2-3 hours earlier? Can he find a quiet activity to do by himself when you are completely spent? My kids will still ask me questions after I've closed my eyes and if I'm still awake I'll answer them. I imagine they sometimes ask me questions when I'm asleep but I think I get most of 'em.
-Cass
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Doug & Melissa Edwards
Thanks everyone who responded to this thread. We've been heading to bed a bit earlier (and getting up a bit earlier) and that has been helping.
I'm going to try other things, like making sure my sleep environment is good (pillows, temp.), before we consider moving beds around. We live in a tiny place and it is a bit of a jigsaw puzzle of furniture. And those other factors could play a large role in my sleep quality.
I've been working with visualizations for my older son to help him get back to sleep if he happens to wake. Visualizations have helped him with fear in the past.
In response to Jo:
"Can you not stay in the bed with them and sleep there all night? "
Their bed is getting too small for all three of us. My shoulders and neck are my sore area and laying in squished positions doesn't help them. Additionally, and I forgot this until I read your post, my youngest usually pushes me out of bed if I'm there a long time. He will put his legs on mine and muscle me over. Usually I wake up (as my legs are dangling off the edge :) ) and move. My room is only about 1 foot away (door to door).
I wish I were able to sleep with other people moving around me or making noise, but I am very rarely able to. Actually, that is what my older son likes about sleeping with me, I'm always awake to talk to.
So, I'm working on it and with my kids' help I feel I'm on my way to a better night of sleep.
Melissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'm going to try other things, like making sure my sleep environment is good (pillows, temp.), before we consider moving beds around. We live in a tiny place and it is a bit of a jigsaw puzzle of furniture. And those other factors could play a large role in my sleep quality.
I've been working with visualizations for my older son to help him get back to sleep if he happens to wake. Visualizations have helped him with fear in the past.
In response to Jo:
"Can you not stay in the bed with them and sleep there all night? "
Their bed is getting too small for all three of us. My shoulders and neck are my sore area and laying in squished positions doesn't help them. Additionally, and I forgot this until I read your post, my youngest usually pushes me out of bed if I'm there a long time. He will put his legs on mine and muscle me over. Usually I wake up (as my legs are dangling off the edge :) ) and move. My room is only about 1 foot away (door to door).
I wish I were able to sleep with other people moving around me or making noise, but I am very rarely able to. Actually, that is what my older son likes about sleeping with me, I'm always awake to talk to.
So, I'm working on it and with my kids' help I feel I'm on my way to a better night of sleep.
Melissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
Some other things to consider:
Sometimes women who have had babies wake up MUCH more easily than they did before. And they tend to blame the baby, rather than crediting the baby for making whatever biochemical or hormonal change that keeps them from sleeping through when a child needs help, or comfort, or food.
There are commercials on TV in the U.S. for drugs to take if you wake up halfway through the night. And "insomnia" is talked about as though it's everyone's right and duty to sleep eight hour straight—less is unhealthy, more is lazy. Eight. Exactly. But some people don't need that much, and it's nobody's "right."
There are people looking at, gathering up, evidence about what is natural and adaptive and right and good, with human sleep. It's pretty interesting. They're looking at cultural and linguisitic evidence, and biological stuff. These ideas made me MUCH happier to wake up at 3:00 in the morning. I used to have all those negative, stressful feelings ("used to" even four years ago) and now I don't. Now I'm calm and sometimes glad. Never angry, never embarrassed, never frustrated like I used to be.
http://sandradodd.com/sleep/outside
(That's outside links, not sleeping outside, though I do wish sometimes I had a screened porch and could sleep with normal night air all around me.)
Sandra
Sometimes women who have had babies wake up MUCH more easily than they did before. And they tend to blame the baby, rather than crediting the baby for making whatever biochemical or hormonal change that keeps them from sleeping through when a child needs help, or comfort, or food.
There are commercials on TV in the U.S. for drugs to take if you wake up halfway through the night. And "insomnia" is talked about as though it's everyone's right and duty to sleep eight hour straight—less is unhealthy, more is lazy. Eight. Exactly. But some people don't need that much, and it's nobody's "right."
There are people looking at, gathering up, evidence about what is natural and adaptive and right and good, with human sleep. It's pretty interesting. They're looking at cultural and linguisitic evidence, and biological stuff. These ideas made me MUCH happier to wake up at 3:00 in the morning. I used to have all those negative, stressful feelings ("used to" even four years ago) and now I don't. Now I'm calm and sometimes glad. Never angry, never embarrassed, never frustrated like I used to be.
http://sandradodd.com/sleep/outside
(That's outside links, not sleeping outside, though I do wish sometimes I had a screened porch and could sleep with normal night air all around me.)
Sandra
Mette G.
>>> It is different recently because everyone is getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have room for a larger bed). <<<<I just recalled that IKEA used to have these bunkbeds where the bottom is a normal 2-person size (is that a queen size in the US?) and then to one side an upper single bed. If you don't have enough floor space, thyen maybe that could be an idea - to extend "upwards" :)
Or a normal bunkbed with a mattress under the bottom that you can pull out at night? If it's mainly a question of being in the room and not necessarily lying *in* the same bed...
Mette
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
CASS KOTRBA
I heard somewhere - I think it might have been an episode of Super Sizers Go (a BBC series which is part cooking show, part history show and completely entertaining, check You Tube) - that prior to the light bulb, when candles and lamp oil were very valuable, people did not sleep straight through the night. They took what was called a first sleep and a second sleep. Presumably the first sleep started around dusk. I imagine that after a few hours they would have to get up to restoke the fire, start the morning soup, relieve themselves, etc. then go back for the second sleep. I find this fascinating and it's interesting that you never hear about it. It seems that the idea of 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is a newer phenomenon.
-Cass
-Cass
----- Original Message -----
From: Sandra Dodd<mailto:Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, April 26, 2013 1:02 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: help with sleep in older kids
Some other things to consider:
Sometimes women who have had babies wake up MUCH more easily than they did before. And they tend to blame the baby, rather than crediting the baby for making whatever biochemical or hormonal change that keeps them from sleeping through when a child needs help, or comfort, or food.
There are commercials on TV in the U.S. for drugs to take if you wake up halfway through the night. And "insomnia" is talked about as though it's everyone's right and duty to sleep eight hour straight�less is unhealthy, more is lazy. Eight. Exactly. But some people don't need that much, and it's nobody's "right."
There are people looking at, gathering up, evidence about what is natural and adaptive and right and good, with human sleep. It's pretty interesting. They're looking at cultural and linguisitic evidence, and biological stuff. These ideas made me MUCH happier to wake up at 3:00 in the morning. I used to have all those negative, stressful feelings ("used to" even four years ago) and now I don't. Now I'm calm and sometimes glad. Never angry, never embarrassed, never frustrated like I used to be.
http://sandradodd.com/sleep/outside<http://sandradodd.com/sleep/outside>
(That's outside links, not sleeping outside, though I do wish sometimes I had a screened porch and could sleep with normal night air all around me.)
Sandra
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Victoria Skingsley
Dear Melissa
I've read with interest everyone's replies as this in the past has been an
occasional concern with me.
There is NOTHING worse than having neck pain and debilitating headaches
caused by a disturbed sleep and/or late night. I completely empathize with
you there. If my sleep is disturbed I'll be quite irritable and feel foggy
throughout the day too. And no amount of coffee will bring me round :-).
Just to explain our story of sleep:We have always co-slept (bed shared -
not sure of international term). We have a superkingsize bed and a 9 and 6
year old. My husband has always gone to bed early and our eldest has joined
him followed by me around midnight or later and our youngest has fallen
asleep somewhere between those times in her own room then joined us all
around 3am. I suppose my children have developed there own bed etiquette
and its harmonious with all four of us.
However, there were times when it wasn't as peaceful and I was experiencing
what you are. On those foggy days of neck and headaches when I'll be
reaching for the painkillers my eldest asked why I'm taking them. And
without finger pointing or cross words I was honest and explained that it
was due to lack of sleep/broken sleep (choosing my words carefully). We
talked lots about how we all feel or have felt getting up in the middle of
the night when ill or otherwise and how late we go, sleep cycles, how we
feel if its been a long busy day and over-tired, why sleep is important,
why sleep patterns have changed over the centuries, when children do all
their growing, how and when animals sleep etc Suffice to say it was a topic
enjoyed by us all without it turning into a lecture or an issue.
I believe that they reflected on this and took onboard the knock on effects
of their own nocturnal habits. It took a while but they soon developed a
harmonious pattern that works within our family meaning that we all get the
quality of sleep we need as individuals. There is still the odd bad dream
or feeling unwell that will cause one or more of us to get up and need
cuddles or to chat. Even now my youngest will still say she's just not
tired at 9.30pm and we always say 'its ok to not feel tired when everyone
else is, don't try to sleep, just rest and read or quietly play'. She's
noticeably content with that reminder and is often asleep within 30 minutes
after that.
My children get up in their own time in the mornings unless we have to be
up early in which case they more often than not get up themselves...
something about body clocks there I think ;-)
For my children it just seemed that honesty and facts helped them develop
harmonious habits that work within our family considering all our own
personal requirements for a good quality sleep.
All the best, Melissa. I hope some of this helps.
VictoriaXX
I've read with interest everyone's replies as this in the past has been an
occasional concern with me.
There is NOTHING worse than having neck pain and debilitating headaches
caused by a disturbed sleep and/or late night. I completely empathize with
you there. If my sleep is disturbed I'll be quite irritable and feel foggy
throughout the day too. And no amount of coffee will bring me round :-).
Just to explain our story of sleep:We have always co-slept (bed shared -
not sure of international term). We have a superkingsize bed and a 9 and 6
year old. My husband has always gone to bed early and our eldest has joined
him followed by me around midnight or later and our youngest has fallen
asleep somewhere between those times in her own room then joined us all
around 3am. I suppose my children have developed there own bed etiquette
and its harmonious with all four of us.
However, there were times when it wasn't as peaceful and I was experiencing
what you are. On those foggy days of neck and headaches when I'll be
reaching for the painkillers my eldest asked why I'm taking them. And
without finger pointing or cross words I was honest and explained that it
was due to lack of sleep/broken sleep (choosing my words carefully). We
talked lots about how we all feel or have felt getting up in the middle of
the night when ill or otherwise and how late we go, sleep cycles, how we
feel if its been a long busy day and over-tired, why sleep is important,
why sleep patterns have changed over the centuries, when children do all
their growing, how and when animals sleep etc Suffice to say it was a topic
enjoyed by us all without it turning into a lecture or an issue.
I believe that they reflected on this and took onboard the knock on effects
of their own nocturnal habits. It took a while but they soon developed a
harmonious pattern that works within our family meaning that we all get the
quality of sleep we need as individuals. There is still the odd bad dream
or feeling unwell that will cause one or more of us to get up and need
cuddles or to chat. Even now my youngest will still say she's just not
tired at 9.30pm and we always say 'its ok to not feel tired when everyone
else is, don't try to sleep, just rest and read or quietly play'. She's
noticeably content with that reminder and is often asleep within 30 minutes
after that.
My children get up in their own time in the mornings unless we have to be
up early in which case they more often than not get up themselves...
something about body clocks there I think ;-)
For my children it just seemed that honesty and facts helped them develop
harmonious habits that work within our family considering all our own
personal requirements for a good quality sleep.
All the best, Melissa. I hope some of this helps.
VictoriaXX
On 21 Apr 2013 20:37, "melgqd" <boisei@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
> Hi all,
> I have two sons 11 and 7. I usually go to sleep with them in their bed
> (full size) when they are ready to sleep. My husband goes to sleep in our
> bed much earlier because he gets up early for work. They both really enjoy
> me being there when they fall asleep (my older son especially gets gripped
> with fear at night and does much better with me near him). I enjoy it too,
> however their bedtime has been slowly getting later and later. I don't feel
> very good if I go to sleep much later than midnight. I'd prefer to sleep
> about 11 pm, but a bit later is fine. However as they move to an even later
> time I don't feel well staying up so late. I have never been a late night
> person. We've talked about meeting all our needs by going to bed a little
> earlier, but they are just not tired and we end up awake in bed for longer.
>
> So, I'm looking for suggestions about transitioning them to falling asleep
> without me or some other thing I haven't thought of where I can get more
> sleep and they can feel comfortable. Any ideas?
>
> The other side to this situation is that my sleep is also very
> interrupted, changing beds mid-way through, going back if people call out,
> and this is having a negative effect on my health (waking up with
> headaches, neck pain etc.). It is different recently because everyone is
> getting bigger, and the bed is staying the same size (sadly we don't have
> room for a larger bed). I'm feeling that my quality of sleep is something I
> need to address.
> Thanks,
> Melissa
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]