Unschooling since pregnancy, was family decisions
Blissland1234
"You have been *learning* about unschooling since pregnancy, but you have not yet started unschooling. Unschooling is an alternative to school. A family starts unschooling once their eldest child reaches school age. "
From my experience of being on this list, I don't really agree with this idea. It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts. The fact that our children don't go school seems to be a side affect of this way of thinking.
Erika
From my experience of being on this list, I don't really agree with this idea. It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts. The fact that our children don't go school seems to be a side affect of this way of thinking.
Erika
keetry
== > "You have been *learning* about unschooling since pregnancy, but you have not yet started unschooling. Unschooling is an alternative to school. A family starts unschooling once their eldest child reaches school age. ">
From my experience of being on this list, I don't really agree with this idea. It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts. The fact that our children don't go school seems to be a side affect of this way of thinking. ==
I think that before any children are school aged, whatever you do would just be considered your parenting style.
Alysia
From my experience of being on this list, I don't really agree with this idea. It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts. The fact that our children don't go school seems to be a side affect of this way of thinking. ==
I think that before any children are school aged, whatever you do would just be considered your parenting style.
Alysia
Jen Beeman
==I think that before any children are school aged, whatever you do would
just be considered your parenting style. ==
I agree with this but I find that even among people who consider themselves
to be attachment parenting (or peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, or
whatever label you would like to use) there is a very often a lack of
partnership with children and a lack of trusting children. My oldest is 2.5
and among my friends with kids her age and younger there is a lot of
conversation about how to get kids to eat vegetables, how terrible sweets
are and how kids will eat in excess if you don't stop them, how their kids
would never sleep unless forced to, how bad "screen time" and other "tech
time" is and that it must be limited, which toys to let their kids have for
the most educational value, referring to children as brats, and other
similarly disrespectful things that I choose to avoid.
I don't refer to myself as an unschooling parent, because I'm not one yet,
but I do think there are a lot of aspects of my parenting that are very
influenced by unschooling ideas and by my own deschooling process. For
instance, I am much more relaxed about academic and pre-academic learning
than I would be if I had never encountered unschooling ideas - we sing the
ABCs and count things and play with a few flash cards and letter and number
puzzles that my daughter likes, but I don't spend my energy trying to teach
her things or worrying that she doesn't know this or that particular thing
that some kids her age know. When I pick out a toy for my kids, I choose it
because I think they will enjoy it not because I think it's "good for"
them. I also feel like I am able to see the learning in every day
activities much more so than I would be able to without the tools and ideas
I have picked up here.
==It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions,
really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect
all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to
be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts.=
In my experience, outside of this list there are very few places that offer
advice on how to partner with your children, that focus on relationship
rather than control. For that reason, I am glad to have found this list
and put in to practice ideas I have encountered here well before my
children are school age, or even pre-school age. I don't consider us to be
unschooling but I do think there are aspects of my parenting that are (for
the most part) only shared by parents who are or are intending to unschool.
Jen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
just be considered your parenting style. ==
I agree with this but I find that even among people who consider themselves
to be attachment parenting (or peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, or
whatever label you would like to use) there is a very often a lack of
partnership with children and a lack of trusting children. My oldest is 2.5
and among my friends with kids her age and younger there is a lot of
conversation about how to get kids to eat vegetables, how terrible sweets
are and how kids will eat in excess if you don't stop them, how their kids
would never sleep unless forced to, how bad "screen time" and other "tech
time" is and that it must be limited, which toys to let their kids have for
the most educational value, referring to children as brats, and other
similarly disrespectful things that I choose to avoid.
I don't refer to myself as an unschooling parent, because I'm not one yet,
but I do think there are a lot of aspects of my parenting that are very
influenced by unschooling ideas and by my own deschooling process. For
instance, I am much more relaxed about academic and pre-academic learning
than I would be if I had never encountered unschooling ideas - we sing the
ABCs and count things and play with a few flash cards and letter and number
puzzles that my daughter likes, but I don't spend my energy trying to teach
her things or worrying that she doesn't know this or that particular thing
that some kids her age know. When I pick out a toy for my kids, I choose it
because I think they will enjoy it not because I think it's "good for"
them. I also feel like I am able to see the learning in every day
activities much more so than I would be able to without the tools and ideas
I have picked up here.
==It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions,
really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect
all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to
be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts.=
In my experience, outside of this list there are very few places that offer
advice on how to partner with your children, that focus on relationship
rather than control. For that reason, I am glad to have found this list
and put in to practice ideas I have encountered here well before my
children are school age, or even pre-school age. I don't consider us to be
unschooling but I do think there are aspects of my parenting that are (for
the most part) only shared by parents who are or are intending to unschool.
Jen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-From my experience of being on this list, I don't really agree with this idea. It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts. The fact that our children don't go school seems to be a side affect of this way of thinking.-=-
Attachment parenting, maybe. Mindful parenting. But why "unschooling" if a child isn't of school age?
And what of a parent who claims to be unschooling, but then when the child is five or six, she goes into school?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Attachment parenting, maybe. Mindful parenting. But why "unschooling" if a child isn't of school age?
And what of a parent who claims to be unschooling, but then when the child is five or six, she goes into school?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 29, 2012, at 10:41 AM, Blissland1234 wrote:
The unschooling part can't. Someone can't know if they're fully committed to their children learning by living if other kids their age aren't yet in school. The parent can be certain they're committed. But it isn't until compulsory school age starts when all the relatives are raining worry, all the neighbors are quizzing the kids about whether they're learning what they "should" be learning and a parent *doesn't* get concerned and do something schoolish that a parent can truly say they're unschooling.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions,The parenting part can. It can be called attentive parenting. Or mindful parenting.
> really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth.
The unschooling part can't. Someone can't know if they're fully committed to their children learning by living if other kids their age aren't yet in school. The parent can be certain they're committed. But it isn't until compulsory school age starts when all the relatives are raining worry, all the neighbors are quizzing the kids about whether they're learning what they "should" be learning and a parent *doesn't* get concerned and do something schoolish that a parent can truly say they're unschooling.
Joyce
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tania
here in italy the word school is used from the age of three on. latest
from this age on nearly all go to scuola materna (and "learn" to count
and to draw their name - already ablities my son is "behind" and
looked upon suspiciously). so my child actually doesnt go to school,
already with nearly four. from friends i do get the impression though
that a child who cannot draw his name with four is a totally different
pair of shoes for worried neighours and extended family than a child
who doesn't read by the age of nine..
my parenting differs a lot from people who label themselves attachment
parents or who follow mindful parenting. can a child decide over his
own body? what to wear, what to eat, when to sleep? for us it was an
important part in deciding for a child that we decided not to send
them to school. i am happy to hear that mindful parenting does indeed
cover also this part of my ideas. (can someone point me to a list of
recommended literature for young children? i wold be interested which
books were helpful for you.)
plus - on top - my english is pretty limited. so i do not use the
language as mindful as german. i am myself pretty precise with words
in my mother language and i am happily picking up on the language
here. so from now on, i am no longer unschooling but a mindful parent.
(i always thought unschooling is more something my child does or is
going to do than something i do.)
thank you, tania
Am 30/dic/12 um 09:33 schrieb Sandra Dodd:
from this age on nearly all go to scuola materna (and "learn" to count
and to draw their name - already ablities my son is "behind" and
looked upon suspiciously). so my child actually doesnt go to school,
already with nearly four. from friends i do get the impression though
that a child who cannot draw his name with four is a totally different
pair of shoes for worried neighours and extended family than a child
who doesn't read by the age of nine..
my parenting differs a lot from people who label themselves attachment
parents or who follow mindful parenting. can a child decide over his
own body? what to wear, what to eat, when to sleep? for us it was an
important part in deciding for a child that we decided not to send
them to school. i am happy to hear that mindful parenting does indeed
cover also this part of my ideas. (can someone point me to a list of
recommended literature for young children? i wold be interested which
books were helpful for you.)
plus - on top - my english is pretty limited. so i do not use the
language as mindful as german. i am myself pretty precise with words
in my mother language and i am happily picking up on the language
here. so from now on, i am no longer unschooling but a mindful parent.
(i always thought unschooling is more something my child does or is
going to do than something i do.)
thank you, tania
Am 30/dic/12 um 09:33 schrieb Sandra Dodd:
> -=-From my experience of being on this list, I don't really agree[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> with this idea. It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined
> in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in
> at birth. It seems to affect all aspects of life with a child in all
> decision making - the decision to be a partner to your child and to
> respect their instincts. The fact that our children don't go school
> seems to be a side affect of this way of thinking.-=-
>
> Attachment parenting, maybe. Mindful parenting. But why
> "unschooling" if a child isn't of school age?
> And what of a parent who claims to be unschooling, but then when the
> child is five or six, she goes into school?
>
> Sandra
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 30, 2012, at 4:50 AM, tania wrote:
Children will learn naturally in any environment. Even in school where they're also under pressure to learn what the school requires them to learn. But the unschooling environment is specifically created to support children in following their interests and discovering new interests.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> i always thought unschooling is more something my child does or isI think it can make the ideas talked about here clearer if unschooling is seen as the environment parents create for natural learning to flourish. The children learn naturally.
> going to do than something i do
Children will learn naturally in any environment. Even in school where they're also under pressure to learn what the school requires them to learn. But the unschooling environment is specifically created to support children in following their interests and discovering new interests.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-When I pick out a toy for my kids, I choose it
because I think they will enjoy it not because I think it's "good for"
them. I also feel like I am able to see the learning in every day
activities much more so than I would be able to without the tools and ideas
I have picked up here.-=-
That's all to the good. :-)
I think any toy they will enjoy is good for them!
You're right, that these ideas can apply to children from birth. We did these things at our house, still assuming Kirby would go to school. So unschooling became an extension of what I had learned through La Leche League (who recommended The Continuum Concept BOOK, which in those days had not yet developed into an offshoot group that recommended against TV) and an article in Mothering Magazine about children choosing a balanced diet if they honestly had options, and the practicality of letting children fall asleep when and where they wanted to, and *then* put them to bed, rather than us deciding when we thought they were sleepy.
It's a cinch to have peace when a family starts with infants to create a peaceful environment.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
because I think they will enjoy it not because I think it's "good for"
them. I also feel like I am able to see the learning in every day
activities much more so than I would be able to without the tools and ideas
I have picked up here.-=-
That's all to the good. :-)
I think any toy they will enjoy is good for them!
You're right, that these ideas can apply to children from birth. We did these things at our house, still assuming Kirby would go to school. So unschooling became an extension of what I had learned through La Leche League (who recommended The Continuum Concept BOOK, which in those days had not yet developed into an offshoot group that recommended against TV) and an article in Mothering Magazine about children choosing a balanced diet if they honestly had options, and the practicality of letting children fall asleep when and where they wanted to, and *then* put them to bed, rather than us deciding when we thought they were sleepy.
It's a cinch to have peace when a family starts with infants to create a peaceful environment.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
-=-From my experience of being on this list, I don't really agree with this idea. It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth. It seems to affect all aspects of life with a child in all decision making - the decision to be a partner to your child and to respect their instincts. The fact that our children don't go school seems to be a side affect of this way of thinking.-=-
Attachment parenting, maybe. Mindful parenting. But why "unschooling" if a child isn't of school age?
And what of a parent who claims to be unschooling, but then when the child is five or six, she goes into school?
Sandra
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
That has been the biggest thing I see with homeschooling parents. I know many that were "unschoolers" when their children were very young. Fast forward today they are all doing a curriculum or sent their kids to school. IT is the majority not one here or there.
The kids reach 5, 6 , 7 and the parents completely change their minds. They no longer trust the kids to learn. These parents have not deschooled, they have really not understood what unschooling is or is not, they cannot stop comparing an imaginary school child to their kids.
They may have been Attachment Parents but their fears and school thinking are still there. It does not matter that they read a little about unschooling and thought it was a great idea when their children was 2 or 4.
Alex Polikowsky
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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
On Dec 30, 2012, at 4:50 AM, tania wrote:
> i always thought unschooling is more something my child does or is
> going to do than something i do
That goes back to the idea of child-led learning.
Here is a great piece by Pam Sorooshian talking about how unschooling is NOT child-led learning:
http://learninghappens.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/unschooling-is-not-child-led-learning/
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
keetry
== my parenting differs a lot from people who label themselves attachment parents or who follow mindful parenting. can a child decide over his own body? what to wear, what to eat, when to sleep? ==
I think maybe it could fall under the labels of attachment parenting (AP) or mindful parenting but I know a lot of parents who consider themselves to follow one or both of these who do things that are very contrary to unschooling. It's difficult for me as an unschooler in those circles.
I think a lot of AP parents think it's very important to control and limit their child's food, drinks, and TV, computer, video game time and exposure.
I'm actually having a difficult time in my local homeschool group right now. We are active in the only local homeschool group that is even remotely acceptable for us. All the others are religious based and I am an atheist so we would not fit in any of them. Anyway, the other parents in our group consider themselves AP but none of them are also unschooling. I find myself getting bothered by the way they speak to and treat their children in front of mine. Sometimes they can be downright mean, telling them to go away when they try to sit with the adults without bothering to listen to the child at all, refusing to let them eat when they are obviously very hungry because they didn't finish all their food before they left the house. It's getting to the point that I don't want to be around them much but my kids enjoy playing with their kids.
Alysia
I think maybe it could fall under the labels of attachment parenting (AP) or mindful parenting but I know a lot of parents who consider themselves to follow one or both of these who do things that are very contrary to unschooling. It's difficult for me as an unschooler in those circles.
I think a lot of AP parents think it's very important to control and limit their child's food, drinks, and TV, computer, video game time and exposure.
I'm actually having a difficult time in my local homeschool group right now. We are active in the only local homeschool group that is even remotely acceptable for us. All the others are religious based and I am an atheist so we would not fit in any of them. Anyway, the other parents in our group consider themselves AP but none of them are also unschooling. I find myself getting bothered by the way they speak to and treat their children in front of mine. Sometimes they can be downright mean, telling them to go away when they try to sit with the adults without bothering to listen to the child at all, refusing to let them eat when they are obviously very hungry because they didn't finish all their food before they left the house. It's getting to the point that I don't want to be around them much but my kids enjoy playing with their kids.
Alysia
Meredith
Blissland1234 <blissland1234@...> wrote:
It's disturbing to me that ideas about education have become so pernicious with regard to childhood that people find no contradiction at all when they say they want to "unschool" a baby - and I've seen that, people show up on lists and groups saying "I have a 10mo old and I want to start unschooling, what learning resources are best for this age?" Blaaaaaahhhhh! Nooooooo! Play with your baby! Coo and cuddle! Be happy! "Unschooling" has come to mean "delayed education" for babies and young children in many circles - and that's sad for what it implies about the way children are viewed by adults.
At the same time, the kinds of pressure on parents to properly educate children take a marked turn toward the extreme when kids are 3, and amp up still more when kids are mandatory school age. Most of the parents I know who were "unschooling" toddlers when Mo was a toddler are either homeschooling now or have kids in school. Unschooling takes a different set of resources for school-aged kids than pre-schoolers, and not all families have access to those resources.
---Meredith
>It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth.**************
It's disturbing to me that ideas about education have become so pernicious with regard to childhood that people find no contradiction at all when they say they want to "unschool" a baby - and I've seen that, people show up on lists and groups saying "I have a 10mo old and I want to start unschooling, what learning resources are best for this age?" Blaaaaaahhhhh! Nooooooo! Play with your baby! Coo and cuddle! Be happy! "Unschooling" has come to mean "delayed education" for babies and young children in many circles - and that's sad for what it implies about the way children are viewed by adults.
At the same time, the kinds of pressure on parents to properly educate children take a marked turn toward the extreme when kids are 3, and amp up still more when kids are mandatory school age. Most of the parents I know who were "unschooling" toddlers when Mo was a toddler are either homeschooling now or have kids in school. Unschooling takes a different set of resources for school-aged kids than pre-schoolers, and not all families have access to those resources.
---Meredith
Blissland1234
To clarify my initial post -
I have read many books and articles and been on other lists for unschooling and they are nothing like this list. My point was that even though this is an 'unschooling' list, the way it is defined and discussed on this list seems to stretch to all corners of parenting, not just around alternatives to school or how to trust that your child will be okay without school.
This list is quite radical in my opinion, and as another poster wrote, attachment and mindful parenting groups are quite straight/mainstream/conventional next to this group. The subjects on this list are not comfortable, like in the attachment parenting discussions. The subjects on this list make me squirm and moan because I know Sandra and the other true unschooling mothers on this list are right but it takes a lot of work from me to let go of fear and what I think my daughter should be eating, watching, learning, etc. This list challenges me in all directions. It challenges me to really look at my relationship with her and how she is affected by my behavior. On this list I am learning how to raise a happy healthy human. On the other hand I hardly worry about whether she'll be 'educated' without school. This seems easy compared to the relationship part. And this is what seems to me to start before any country-imposed 'school-age.'
Erika
Mother of Momo (12)
Blissland1234 <blissland1234@...> wrote:
It's disturbing to me that ideas about education have become so pernicious with regard to childhood that people find no contradiction at all when they say they want to "unschool" a baby - and I've seen that, people show up on lists and groups saying "I have a 10mo old and I want to start unschooling, what learning resources are best for this age?" Blaaaaaahhhhh! Nooooooo! Play with your baby! Coo and cuddle! Be happy! "Unschooling" has come to mean "delayed education" for babies and young children in many circles - and that's sad for what it implies about the way children are viewed by adults.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have read many books and articles and been on other lists for unschooling and they are nothing like this list. My point was that even though this is an 'unschooling' list, the way it is defined and discussed on this list seems to stretch to all corners of parenting, not just around alternatives to school or how to trust that your child will be okay without school.
This list is quite radical in my opinion, and as another poster wrote, attachment and mindful parenting groups are quite straight/mainstream/conventional next to this group. The subjects on this list are not comfortable, like in the attachment parenting discussions. The subjects on this list make me squirm and moan because I know Sandra and the other true unschooling mothers on this list are right but it takes a lot of work from me to let go of fear and what I think my daughter should be eating, watching, learning, etc. This list challenges me in all directions. It challenges me to really look at my relationship with her and how she is affected by my behavior. On this list I am learning how to raise a happy healthy human. On the other hand I hardly worry about whether she'll be 'educated' without school. This seems easy compared to the relationship part. And this is what seems to me to start before any country-imposed 'school-age.'
Erika
Mother of Momo (12)
Blissland1234 <blissland1234@...> wrote:
>It seems to me that radical unschooling, as defined in these discussions, really is a mindset that can start kicking in at birth.**************
It's disturbing to me that ideas about education have become so pernicious with regard to childhood that people find no contradiction at all when they say they want to "unschool" a baby - and I've seen that, people show up on lists and groups saying "I have a 10mo old and I want to start unschooling, what learning resources are best for this age?" Blaaaaaahhhhh! Nooooooo! Play with your baby! Coo and cuddle! Be happy! "Unschooling" has come to mean "delayed education" for babies and young children in many circles - and that's sad for what it implies about the way children are viewed by adults.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
keetry
== > ==I think that before any children are school aged, whatever you do would
I actually found unschooling as an extension of my attachment parenting (AP). If I could trust my infant to know when he was hungry and how often and how long to nurse, it makes sense that I could trust him to know how much and what kinds of solid foods to eat. If I could trust my infant to learn how to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, talk without me showing him or training him, then it makes sense that I could trust him to learn to read and understand math in the same way. But AP isn't about schooling. It's about living. There are people who seem to define AP in a very different way than I do.
== In my experience, outside of this list there are very few places that offer advice on how to partner with your children, that focus on relationship rather than control. ==
I agree with this. As I said in a previous post, I have found that many of the people I know who consider themselves AP don't seem to be very nice to their children as they get older. They try to control rather than partner.
Alysia
> just be considered your parenting style. ==Yes. I posted the same thing in response to something else previously. I have had the same experience. I still didn't consider myself to be unschooling when I didn't have a school-aged child. I was parenting based on radical unschooling principles.
>
> I agree with this but I find that even among people who consider themselves to be attachment parenting (or peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, or whatever label you would like to use) there is a very often a lack of partnership with children and a lack of trusting children. ==
I actually found unschooling as an extension of my attachment parenting (AP). If I could trust my infant to know when he was hungry and how often and how long to nurse, it makes sense that I could trust him to know how much and what kinds of solid foods to eat. If I could trust my infant to learn how to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, talk without me showing him or training him, then it makes sense that I could trust him to learn to read and understand math in the same way. But AP isn't about schooling. It's about living. There are people who seem to define AP in a very different way than I do.
== In my experience, outside of this list there are very few places that offer advice on how to partner with your children, that focus on relationship rather than control. ==
I agree with this. As I said in a previous post, I have found that many of the people I know who consider themselves AP don't seem to be very nice to their children as they get older. They try to control rather than partner.
Alysia
Sandra Dodd
-=-I have read many books and articles and been on other lists for unschooling and they are nothing like this list. My point was that even though this is an 'unschooling' list, the way it is defined and discussed on this list seems to stretch to all corners of parenting, not just around alternatives to school or how to trust that your child will be okay without school. -=-
True; can't deny that. :-)
-=- On this list I am learning how to raise a happy healthy human. On the other hand I hardly worry about whether she'll be 'educated' without school. This seems easy compared to the relationship part. And this is what seems to me to start before any country-imposed 'school-age.'
-=-
If you get that relationship aspect down, it's very likely that it could survive even school. :-)
It's also pretty likely that your kids wouldn't want to go to school, but if you don't keep the possibility open, a little, then they didn't have a choice. Maybe that's another aspect of my hesitation to say "Sure; unschooling from conception."
Some kids are slated to go to a certain elementary that leads to a particular prep school, so that they can claim their legacy spot at a university where all their ancestors have gone. That's not choice.
If a child's parent decides before she sees his eyes, before he can sit up or walk, that he will be unschooled, it seems to be the other side of a coin in which the actual child isn't being taken into consideration.
Making one big decision instead of a livelong string of smaller ones can be a problem for people learning to make decisions. :-) And if your new partner isn't old enough to contribute, give him some time. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
True; can't deny that. :-)
-=- On this list I am learning how to raise a happy healthy human. On the other hand I hardly worry about whether she'll be 'educated' without school. This seems easy compared to the relationship part. And this is what seems to me to start before any country-imposed 'school-age.'
-=-
If you get that relationship aspect down, it's very likely that it could survive even school. :-)
It's also pretty likely that your kids wouldn't want to go to school, but if you don't keep the possibility open, a little, then they didn't have a choice. Maybe that's another aspect of my hesitation to say "Sure; unschooling from conception."
Some kids are slated to go to a certain elementary that leads to a particular prep school, so that they can claim their legacy spot at a university where all their ancestors have gone. That's not choice.
If a child's parent decides before she sees his eyes, before he can sit up or walk, that he will be unschooled, it seems to be the other side of a coin in which the actual child isn't being taken into consideration.
Making one big decision instead of a livelong string of smaller ones can be a problem for people learning to make decisions. :-) And if your new partner isn't old enough to contribute, give him some time. :-)
Sandra
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Claire
>I took this to mean that most parents did go to school, so technically they themselves are not unschoolers. Even so, I tend to say "We're unschoolers" when talking to other home-educating parents, because I am active in supporting my children's learning, and I too happily follow my own interests as and where I can. Unschooling is fantastic for the whole family!
> On Dec 30, 2012, at 4:50 AM, tania wrote:
>
> > i always thought unschooling is more something my child does or is
> > going to do than something i do
>
>
Claire
Lucy's web
> == In my experience, outside of this list there are very few places that offer advice on how to partner with your children, that focus on relationship rather than control. ==Does anyone have any recommendations for a list that I could suggest for my friend? She is the mother of a 6 month old, and is feeling rather alone and isolated, and surrounded by other mothers who are doing things very differently from her. I have hesitated to suggest this list to her, as of course she is not yet - nor may ever be - 'unschooling'. But I think a *lot* of the discussions here would be very interesting for her.
>
> I agree with this. As I said in a previous post, I have found that many of the people I know who consider themselves AP don't seem to be very nice to their children as they get older. They try to control rather than partner.
I don't even know what kind of 'label' to put on this type of parenting, in order to search for a list.
Thanks.
Lucy
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Robin Bentley
>I found La Leche League to be heaven-sent for me as a new mom. As
> Does anyone have any recommendations for a list that I could suggest
> for my friend? She is the mother of a 6 month old, and is feeling
> rather alone and isolated, and surrounded by other mothers who are
> doing things very differently from her.
Sandra wrote:
"So unschooling became an extension of what I had learned through La
Leche League (who recommended The Continuum Concept BOOK, which in
those days had not yet developed into an offshoot group that
recommended against TV) and an article in Mothering Magazine about
children choosing a balanced diet if they honestly had options, and
the practicality of letting children fall asleep when and where they
wanted to, and *then* put them to bed, rather than us deciding when we
thought they were sleepy."
If she's a nursing mum, then that's a start. It's in-person, not a
list, which is good - it's a way to be around other mothers and babies
with the same sensibilities. I'll never forget my first Leader -
gentle, sweet, and on the child's side. So different from everyone
around me!
> I have hesitated to suggest this list to her, as of course she isYou could send her to Sandra's and Joyce's sites with links to the
> not yet - nor may ever be - 'unschooling'. But I think a *lot* of
> the discussions here would be very interesting for her.
parenting sections, i.e. http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully or http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/changing%20parenting/mindfulparentingzinn.html
She can poke around from there, if she chooses. With a 6-month-old,
she has her hands full in a not-thinking-about-school way. But
beginning with peaceful, mindful parenting is, well, the beginning!
Robin B.
Meredith
Lucy's web <lucy.web@...> wrote:
Maybe start with attachment parenting... actually with a baby it could be helpful for her to read about elimination communication, too. Maybe something to do with the Continuum Concept.
---Meredith
>> I don't even know what kind of 'label' to put on this type of parenting, in order to search for a list.************
Maybe start with attachment parenting... actually with a baby it could be helpful for her to read about elimination communication, too. Maybe something to do with the Continuum Concept.
---Meredith
Tress m
I reccomend an attachment parenting website, consciouslyparenting.com.
Tress
Tress
On Tuesday, January 1, 2013, Lucy's web <lucy.web@...> wrote:
>
>
>> == In my experience, outside of this list there are very few places that
offer advice on how to partner with your children, that focus on
relationship rather than control. ==
>>
>> I agree with this. As I said in a previous post, I have found that many
of the people I know who consider themselves AP don't seem to be very nice
to their children as they get older. They try to control rather than
partner.
>
> Does anyone have any recommendations for a list that I could suggest for
my friend? She is the mother of a 6 month old, and is feeling rather alone
and isolated, and surrounded by other mothers who are doing things very
differently from her. I have hesitated to suggest this list to her, as of
course she is not yet - nor may ever be - 'unschooling'. But I think a
*lot* of the discussions here would be very interesting for her.
>
> I don't even know what kind of 'label' to put on this type of parenting,
in order to search for a list.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Lucy
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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Schuyler
I like Meredith Small's Our Babies, Ourselves. She looks a lot at how parenting as it is in the U.S. and some of Europe as being novel and new. It may help to have that kind of perspective.
I'm not sure that this list would be inappropriate for her. It isn't terribly unusual for questions about toddlers and, occasionally, infants to come up. http://sandradodd.com/babies/infants and http://sandradodd.com/babies/ and http://sandradodd.com/babytalk are born, at least in part, from discussions about babies. Maybe if you point her towards those pages she'll find the list on her own, if it interests her enough.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Meredith <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, 2 January 2013, 3:41
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Unschooling since pregnancy, was family decisions
Lucy's web <lucy.web@...> wrote:
Maybe start with attachment parenting... actually with a baby it could be helpful for her to read about elimination communication, too. Maybe something to do with the Continuum Concept.
---Meredith
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
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I'm not sure that this list would be inappropriate for her. It isn't terribly unusual for questions about toddlers and, occasionally, infants to come up. http://sandradodd.com/babies/infants and http://sandradodd.com/babies/ and http://sandradodd.com/babytalk are born, at least in part, from discussions about babies. Maybe if you point her towards those pages she'll find the list on her own, if it interests her enough.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Meredith <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, 2 January 2013, 3:41
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Unschooling since pregnancy, was family decisions
Lucy's web <lucy.web@...> wrote:
>> I don't even know what kind of 'label' to put on this type of parenting, in order to search for a list.************
Maybe start with attachment parenting... actually with a baby it could be helpful for her to read about elimination communication, too. Maybe something to do with the Continuum Concept.
---Meredith
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
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Pam Sorooshian
You could suggest she might want to read this list, but maybe not post
since her baby is so very little. It might be interesting to her as a new
mom and someday-to-be mom of older kids, even though we're not often
talking about infants.
-pam
since her baby is so very little. It might be interesting to her as a new
mom and someday-to-be mom of older kids, even though we're not often
talking about infants.
-pam
On Tue, Jan 1, 2013 at 6:35 AM, Lucy's web <lucy.web@...> wrote:
> I don't even know what kind of 'label' to put on this type of parenting,
> in order to search for a list.
>
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