shybarbie22

How do I learn to PLAY and have JOY carelessly with my children?
I lost the abilty to PLAY and be in the moment, and I feel that I might be passing that on to my daughter. Every time we are doing something, ex: we are out at the park, or having ice cream, or coloring, she is ALWAYS asking "what are we going to do NEXT?
I feel that she is not present and in the moment, but rather taking her "now" moment to think about what wll happen NEXT.

Does anyone else have this problem?

:D

Kris

Perhaps planning the next activity is part of being in the moment for your
daughter. Enjoy the discussion, ask her what she thinks would be fun, make
it a moment. I am an "in the moment" person, my daughter is a planner,
that is who we are. It works well for us, she covers a lot of the details
like packing a tote bag with things we'll need and I keep bringing us back
to the here and now. I tend to forget things, she tends to plan for the
next thing, we balance each other.

My son is more like me so I have to plan more, he is learning to plan by
watching me.

Kris

On Thu, Jun 14, 2012 at 10:29 AM, shybarbie22 <shybarbie22@...> wrote:

> How do I learn to PLAY and have JOY carelessly with my children?
> I lost the abilty to PLAY and be in the moment, and I feel that I might be
> passing that on to my daughter. Every time we are doing something, ex: we
> are out at the park, or having ice cream, or coloring, she is ALWAYS asking
> "what are we going to do NEXT?
> I feel that she is not present and in the moment, but rather taking her
> "now" moment to think about what wll happen NEXT.
>
> Does anyone else have this problem?
>
> :D
>



--
�We all question our place in the future. The artist�s job is not to
succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
You have a clear and lively voice. Don�t be such a defeatist.� Gertrude
Stein, Midnight In Paris


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Jun 14, 2012, at 1:29 PM, shybarbie22 wrote:

> How do I learn to PLAY and have JOY carelessly with my children?

There's the book "Playful Parenting" that many people have said wonderful things about :-)

http://amzn.to/M8jmua

Joyce

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Joyce Fetteroll

On Jun 14, 2012, at 1:29 PM, shybarbie22 wrote:

> she is ALWAYS asking "what are we going to do NEXT?
> I feel that she is not present and in the moment, but rather
> taking her "now" moment to think about what wll happen NEXT.

So give her what she's asking for :-) It's something she needs to feel at peace.

Some people like spontaneity. Some people like to know how the day will flow. So create a plan for the day. You don't need to carve it in stone. Just give her an idea of what will be happening in the day so she doesn't need to keep asking what's next.

Joyce

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Pam Sorooshian

On Thu, Jun 14, 2012 at 11:19 AM, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>wrote:

> > she is ALWAYS asking "what are we going to do NEXT?
> > I feel that she is not present and in the moment, but rather
> > taking her "now" moment to think about what wll happen NEXT.>>
>

My oldest daughter used to ask, "What's next?" as we turned into our
driveway even when we'd had a sparkly exciting fun-filled adventurous day.
Once we'd been at Disneyland from morning until late night and we turned
into our driveway and she woke up from her happy/tired drowsiness to ask,
"What's next?" I just said, "Bed," and she was happy.

But, she really likes to always have a social calendar and activity list
lined up - she wants to know that something cool is coming up.

She's 27 and still like that.

-pam


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Rinelle

>>> How do I learn to PLAY and have JOY carelessly with my children?

> There's the book "Playful Parenting" that many people have said wonderful things about :-)
> http://amzn.to/M8jmua

I can definitely recommend this book, it’s the one I turn to when I’m struggling with playing with my daughter. Not only does it give great ideas for how to play with your kids, it also helps understand why it is so important, which helps me to feel like I’m doing something really worthwhile while playing My Little Ponies.

Tamara

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in4mkaren

My son likes to be in the know and participate in making plans. I'm also a planner. As part of the time I occasionally spend with him in his room before bed, we often go over the schedule for the next day hour by hour, including any things that are uncertain or aren't planned yet. Most times he asks me for the schedule for the whole following week or even as many weeks as my memory will take us.

I enjoy this time with him too. I find that if I let him know what's going on and the choices we need to make between conflicting activities or desires, the easier time we have. He can understand that I need to stay home to do laundry this day but we have friends who've invited us to go swimming the next day, for instance. I do this with his sister too, but more to her tastes. She doesn't need to know as much, and would just as soon count to 100 in the dark (her idea). I'm constantly amazed by what their requests show about how their minds work.

Karen

--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>
> On Thu, Jun 14, 2012 at 11:19 AM, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>wrote:
>
> > > she is ALWAYS asking "what are we going to do NEXT?
> > > I feel that she is not present and in the moment, but rather
> > > taking her "now" moment to think about what wll happen NEXT.>>
> >
>
> My oldest daughter used to ask, "What's next?" as we turned into our
> driveway even when we'd had a sparkly exciting fun-filled adventurous day.
> Once we'd been at Disneyland from morning until late night and we turned
> into our driveway and she woke up from her happy/tired drowsiness to ask,
> "What's next?" I just said, "Bed," and she was happy.
>
> But, she really likes to always have a social calendar and activity list
> lined up - she wants to know that something cool is coming up.
>
> She's 27 and still like that.
>
> -pam
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>