kids and physical needs
Pam Sorooshian
Two posts today from moms comparing older daughters and younger sons - and
in both cases the girls come off as easy and docile while the boys are
aggressive and physical.
I've noticed that moms very often vastly underestimate the amount of
physical activity their kids need and they think there is something wrong
with their kids when what they really need is many more hours of physical
activity.
My siblings and I played outdoors from morning 'til night, as kids. We ran
and jumped and tumbled and skated and biked and climbed and dug and chased
and roughhoused like crazy. I also spent many hours in water almost every
single day during the summer.
On school days I walked/ran to and from school, had at least two recesses a
class physical education time (we played games like Capture the Flag,
dodgeball, and Red Rover Red Rover) and a lunch break (I ran home for lunch
and back quickly to spend time playing on the playground), and we had NO
homework so the minute I got home from school I changed into pants/shorts
because girls had to wear dresses to school in those days and ran back
outside to play with neighborhood kids. Play consisted very largely of
hide-and-seek, kick-the-can, stickball, kickball, a wide variety of tag
games, mother-may-I, lemonade, red light green light, duck duck goose, and
a TON of hopscotch. I roller skated and rode my bike and we had rudimentary
skateboards (we took apart our skates and nailed them to boards). We had
pogo sticks and slip-n-slides and hula hoops. We often went over to the
school playground and played on the equipment - rings, slides, swings. We
played foursquare a lot. My neighbor had a trampoline and we bounced and
bounced and bounced.
Nearly every evening of my childhood I was physically worn out - very
grubby and tired and ready to have some dinner, a bath, watch a little tv,
have some stories or have mom or dad sing to us kids, maybe play with my
sisters with dolls or something for a little while and often fall asleep
reading a book.
And "I" was a fairly sedentary kid compared to many! I was a bookworm kid
who loved board and card games.
Children haven't changed - their physical needs haven't changed - since the
50's or 60's. Some kids need more and others need less physical activity,
but when a parent thinks a kid is "hyper" or "bounces off the walls" or
complains about a kid's aggressive behaviors and so on - the parent
probably has no idea the sheer quantity of physically strenuous activity
that that child needs.
People these days will say, "He's got soccer 3 days a week," as if that is
supposed to give him enough opportunity for physical activity. First, I
love soccer for many kids, but it is a structured-by-adults activity in
which a child has to control his physical urges for much of the time. He
has to wait, stand in line, use the part of his body he is supposed to use.
It is not at all the same as structured-by-the-kids-themselves play. And, a
few hours a week is completely inadequate for most kids as an energy burn
off. They more likely need a few hours every day.
Yes, kids are different. Not all kids want or need a lot of physical
activity. Some will climb a tree and sit up on a branch and read a book for
hours - not hang and swing and jump and balance. But ONLY the child can
really know how much physical activity he or she needs and the child can
only figure that out in the context of having plentiful free and
unstructured time for it.
Boys, on the average, need even greater amounts of strenuous physical
activity than girls. That they tend to be more aggressive has to do with
hormones they experience even in the womb. Again - there is a big range and
some girls have greater physical needs than some boys and vice versa - but
moms seem to very often have a hard time with how physical their little
boys are. The same can be true for moms of girls who happen to have
extremely high physical energy needs.
Sometimes dads help the moms understand their boys' physical needs, but
when dads are busy working all day and it is mom who is home with the kids,
boys can end up being very much not getting their needs met and moms end up
thinking there is something wrong with their little boys.
Of course all of this is made much worse by school, where all kids are
expected to sit still much of the time. But homeschooling moms can have
unrealistic expectations, too. And I think many of their sons suffer for it
(and some of their daughters, too).
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
in both cases the girls come off as easy and docile while the boys are
aggressive and physical.
I've noticed that moms very often vastly underestimate the amount of
physical activity their kids need and they think there is something wrong
with their kids when what they really need is many more hours of physical
activity.
My siblings and I played outdoors from morning 'til night, as kids. We ran
and jumped and tumbled and skated and biked and climbed and dug and chased
and roughhoused like crazy. I also spent many hours in water almost every
single day during the summer.
On school days I walked/ran to and from school, had at least two recesses a
class physical education time (we played games like Capture the Flag,
dodgeball, and Red Rover Red Rover) and a lunch break (I ran home for lunch
and back quickly to spend time playing on the playground), and we had NO
homework so the minute I got home from school I changed into pants/shorts
because girls had to wear dresses to school in those days and ran back
outside to play with neighborhood kids. Play consisted very largely of
hide-and-seek, kick-the-can, stickball, kickball, a wide variety of tag
games, mother-may-I, lemonade, red light green light, duck duck goose, and
a TON of hopscotch. I roller skated and rode my bike and we had rudimentary
skateboards (we took apart our skates and nailed them to boards). We had
pogo sticks and slip-n-slides and hula hoops. We often went over to the
school playground and played on the equipment - rings, slides, swings. We
played foursquare a lot. My neighbor had a trampoline and we bounced and
bounced and bounced.
Nearly every evening of my childhood I was physically worn out - very
grubby and tired and ready to have some dinner, a bath, watch a little tv,
have some stories or have mom or dad sing to us kids, maybe play with my
sisters with dolls or something for a little while and often fall asleep
reading a book.
And "I" was a fairly sedentary kid compared to many! I was a bookworm kid
who loved board and card games.
Children haven't changed - their physical needs haven't changed - since the
50's or 60's. Some kids need more and others need less physical activity,
but when a parent thinks a kid is "hyper" or "bounces off the walls" or
complains about a kid's aggressive behaviors and so on - the parent
probably has no idea the sheer quantity of physically strenuous activity
that that child needs.
People these days will say, "He's got soccer 3 days a week," as if that is
supposed to give him enough opportunity for physical activity. First, I
love soccer for many kids, but it is a structured-by-adults activity in
which a child has to control his physical urges for much of the time. He
has to wait, stand in line, use the part of his body he is supposed to use.
It is not at all the same as structured-by-the-kids-themselves play. And, a
few hours a week is completely inadequate for most kids as an energy burn
off. They more likely need a few hours every day.
Yes, kids are different. Not all kids want or need a lot of physical
activity. Some will climb a tree and sit up on a branch and read a book for
hours - not hang and swing and jump and balance. But ONLY the child can
really know how much physical activity he or she needs and the child can
only figure that out in the context of having plentiful free and
unstructured time for it.
Boys, on the average, need even greater amounts of strenuous physical
activity than girls. That they tend to be more aggressive has to do with
hormones they experience even in the womb. Again - there is a big range and
some girls have greater physical needs than some boys and vice versa - but
moms seem to very often have a hard time with how physical their little
boys are. The same can be true for moms of girls who happen to have
extremely high physical energy needs.
Sometimes dads help the moms understand their boys' physical needs, but
when dads are busy working all day and it is mom who is home with the kids,
boys can end up being very much not getting their needs met and moms end up
thinking there is something wrong with their little boys.
Of course all of this is made much worse by school, where all kids are
expected to sit still much of the time. But homeschooling moms can have
unrealistic expectations, too. And I think many of their sons suffer for it
(and some of their daughters, too).
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
I like what Pam wrote.
Here are some suggestions:
http://sandradodd.com/physicality
I've just finished three days of speaking every afternoon, at a campground in France. We're sitting in the covered patio of a restaurant/bar that's also the campground's office. The table I chose as "the desk," the podium, faces out, toward the big trampoline and the swimming pool. I've watched kids play all the time, even in the rain. Right now, five kids from age three to thirteen are running and chasing through here, in and out the various doors, and it's sweet that they let the littlest guys chase along too.
The opportunity for the kids to run and play has been what will be memorable for them from this week.
In Massachusetts a few weeks back, there was a gathering at a camp with a gagaball pit. We figured the kids might want to try that out once, maybe. They tried it out for two days straight. :-)
There are also kids here off and on playing Uno or iPad games.
Sandra
Here are some suggestions:
http://sandradodd.com/physicality
I've just finished three days of speaking every afternoon, at a campground in France. We're sitting in the covered patio of a restaurant/bar that's also the campground's office. The table I chose as "the desk," the podium, faces out, toward the big trampoline and the swimming pool. I've watched kids play all the time, even in the rain. Right now, five kids from age three to thirteen are running and chasing through here, in and out the various doors, and it's sweet that they let the littlest guys chase along too.
The opportunity for the kids to run and play has been what will be memorable for them from this week.
In Massachusetts a few weeks back, there was a gathering at a camp with a gagaball pit. We figured the kids might want to try that out once, maybe. They tried it out for two days straight. :-)
There are also kids here off and on playing Uno or iPad games.
Sandra
Laura Selecman
>So in staying home with them. In an apartment how do you suggest ideas to release such energy? I would love to know because I cannot figure it out. We do playgrounds. He rides his scooter. We go for walks whenever we can, I take them to the play ground as much as possible. He plays a lone 99% of the time even when there are kids running around. He cries because they won't share their toys, then when I bring his he doesn't want to play with them. So he sits at the playground then comes home and goes crazy. I dont know what else I can do to help him get his energy out. I am at a loss.[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>Thanks,
>Laura
>
>
>Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android
>
>
>________________________________
> From: Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>;
>To: <[email protected]>;
>Subject: [AlwaysLearning] kids and physical needs
>Sent: Wed, Jun 13, 2012 6:26:23 PM
>
>
>Two posts today from moms comparing older daughters and younger sons - and
>in both cases the girls come off as easy and docile while the boys are
>aggressive and physical.
>
>I've noticed that moms very often vastly underestimate the amount of
>physical activity their kids need and they think there is something wrong
>with their kids when what they really need is many more hours of physical
>activity.
>
>My siblings and I played outdoors from morning 'til night, as kids. We ran
>and jumped and tumbled and skated and biked and climbed and dug and chased
>and roughhoused like crazy. I also spent many hours in water almost every
>single day during the summer.
>
>On school days I walked/ran to and from school, had at least two recesses a
>class physical education time (we played games like Capture the Flag,
>dodgeball, and Red Rover Red Rover) and a lunch break (I ran home for lunch
>and back quickly to spend time playing on the playground), and we had NO
>homework so the minute I got home from school I changed into pants/shorts
>because girls had to wear dresses to school in those days and ran back
>outside to play with neighborhood kids. Play consisted very largely of
>hide-and-seek, kick-the-can, stickball, kickball, a wide variety of tag
>games, mother-may-I, lemonade, red light green light, duck duck goose, and
>a TON of hopscotch. I roller skated and rode my bike and we had rudimentary
>skateboards (we took apart our skates and nailed them to boards). We had
>pogo sticks and slip-n-slides and hula hoops. We often went over to the
>school playground and played on the equipment - rings, slides, swings. We
>played foursquare a lot. My neighbor had a trampoline and we bounced and
>bounced and bounced.
>
>Nearly every evening of my childhood I was physically worn out - very
>grubby and tired and ready to have some dinner, a bath, watch a little tv,
>have some stories or have mom or dad sing to us kids, maybe play with my
>sisters with dolls or something for a little while and often fall asleep
>reading a book.
>
>And "I" was a fairly sedentary kid compared to many! I was a bookworm kid
>who loved board and card games.
>
>Children haven't changed - their physical needs haven't changed - since the
>50's or 60's. Some kids need more and others need less physical activity,
>but when a parent thinks a kid is "hyper" or "bounces off the walls" or
>complains about a kid's aggressive behaviors and so on - the parent
>probably has no idea the sheer quantity of physically strenuous activity
>that that child needs.
>
>People these days will say, "He's got soccer 3 days a week," as if that is
>supposed to give him enough opportunity for physical activity. First, I
>love soccer for many kids, but it is a structured-by-adults activity in
>which a child has to control his physical urges for much of the time. He
>has to wait, stand in line, use the part of his body he is supposed to use.
>It is not at all the same as structured-by-the-kids-themselves play. And, a
>few hours a week is completely inadequate for most kids as an energy burn
>off. They more likely need a few hours every day.
>
>Yes, kids are different. Not all kids want or need a lot of physical
>activity. Some will climb a tree and sit up on a branch and read a book for
>hours - not hang and swing and jump and balance. But ONLY the child can
>really know how much physical activity he or she needs and the child can
>only figure that out in the context of having plentiful free and
>unstructured time for it.
>
>Boys, on the average, need even greater amounts of strenuous physical
>activity than girls. That they tend to be more aggressive has to do with
>hormones they experience even in the womb. Again - there is a big range and
>some girls have greater physical needs than some boys and vice versa - but
>moms seem to very often have a hard time with how physical their little
>boys are. The same can be true for moms of girls who happen to have
>extremely high physical energy needs.
>
>Sometimes dads help the moms understand their boys' physical needs, but
>when dads are busy working all day and it is mom who is home with the kids,
>boys can end up being very much not getting their needs met and moms end up
>thinking there is something wrong with their little boys.
>
>Of course all of this is made much worse by school, where all kids are
>expected to sit still much of the time. But homeschooling moms can have
>unrealistic expectations, too. And I think many of their sons suffer for it
>(and some of their daughters, too).
>
>-pam
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<<<"We do playgrounds. He rides his scooter. We go for walks whenever we can, I take them to the play ground as much as possible. He plays a lone 99% of the time even when there are kids running around. He cries because they won't share their toys, then when I bring his he doesn't want to play with them. So he sits at the playground then comes home and goes crazy. I dont know what else I can do to help him get his energy out. I am at a loss. ">>>>
Is there a reason why you are not playing with him? why is he alone?
Play with him!!! Chase him, race him, play tag, ball, catch, go bike together!
Jump ropes together! Have pillow fights, tickle fights ( my son absolutely loves loves that !)
I see a lot of parents wanting their kids to do something but just expecting them to do it alone or with other kids.
Join the children! Connect with him. Have fun together.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Is there a reason why you are not playing with him? why is he alone?
Play with him!!! Chase him, race him, play tag, ball, catch, go bike together!
Jump ropes together! Have pillow fights, tickle fights ( my son absolutely loves loves that !)
I see a lot of parents wanting their kids to do something but just expecting them to do it alone or with other kids.
Join the children! Connect with him. Have fun together.
>
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
>I'm wondering if something else is going on here. He's your oldest,
>> So in staying home with them. In an apartment how do you suggest
>> ideas to release such energy? I would love to know because I cannot
>> figure it out. We do playgrounds. He rides his scooter. We go for
>> walks whenever we can, I take them to the play ground as much as
>> possible. He plays a lone 99% of the time even when there are kids
>> running around. He cries because they won't share their toys, then
>> when I bring his he doesn't want to play with them. So he sits at
>> the playground then comes home and goes crazy. I dont know what
>> else I can do to help him get his energy out. I am at a loss.
but he has two siblings - one born when he was only a year old. Is
there any chance that he's not getting enough attention from you?
Kids, especially sensitive ones, can feel quite resentful because they
have been displaced by their younger sibs. There's a lovely myth about
an older child falling in love with the new baby, being the younger
one's protector, etc. But when the older kid hits the new baby, people
wonder why and blame him. They expect too much from a very young
child, who's missing his mom and her undivided love.
Loving up your 5 year old in a major way might help. Spend more time
with him alone, so he knows *he's* as important as his younger sister
and brother. Ask dad to hang with him on his own, too.
Robin B.
Pam Sorooshian
I realize an apartment may not have a lot of space - but it is worth it to
clear out some furniture to make enough space for large-body play.
Mini-trampolines in front of the tv!! We ended up, at one time, with two of
them and that was a HUGE draw - to bounce back and forth.
Twister - the game.
Hula hoops can be used indoors.
Tunnels, yo-yos, spinny things you stand on.
Bean bag toss games -- here is one you can buy, but you can just make bean
bags (fill tube socks with rice or beans or hard corn and tie a knot in the
end) and find places to throw them - allow for him to be able to throw
HARD, not just gently toss, too.
http://www.orientaltrading.com/tiki-bean-bag-toss-game-a2-34_1884.fltr?prodCatId=388930&tabId=4
Oriental trading company also has an inflatable limbo game. But you could
just play limbo with him using a broomstick.
Play "run, jump, punch" - duct tape a "target" (something he can punch - an
old throw pillow, for example) onto a broom handle - hold it out and let
him run at it and punch it (or jump/kick it, even better). Then hold it a
little higher and a little higher - make it more of a challenge (but not so
high as to frustrate him - this is supposed to be fun).
Paddle balls - those things with a little rubber ball connected to a paddle
with elastic.
Balloons - play together trying to keep a balloon in the air. Same with
feathers.
We had a big peacock feather for years - and the kids would move all over
the room trying to keep it balanced on the tip of their finger.
Play hopscotch in the house. I bought a set of placemats at a thrift store
- plastic ones. I got several sets. We ended up writing numbers on them and
the kids would lay them out in the living room and play hopscotch on them
(and use them as part of their obstacle courses).
Also play "sharks" or "lava" - put old placemats or sheets of newspaper or
anything else - all over the room, just far enough apart that it is a
challenge to go from one to the other and then hop around pretending that
if you step off either the sharks will get you or you'll be in hot lava.
Those big cardboard brick building blocks (
http://www.amazon.com/Giant-Building-Block-40-piece-Set/dp/B00005ICC4)
Combine these with small tables and chairs and cushions and more - to
build BIG structures.
Drag home large appliance boxes if you see them - kids can find all kinds
of ways to play with them and they encourage large muscle play.
Those little parachute guys that he can climb up high and drop (or look
online you can make these easily).
Put up a short step ladder in the middle of the living room - play pretend
with it. Drop parachutes off it. Every time he climbs up and down - that's
good!
Jump ropes - play "snakes" by wiggling it as you move around the room and
he tries to stomp it. Make up more games with ropes.
Make "obstacle courses" throughout the apartment - put couch cushions and
pieces of newspaper and other things (a mini trampoline in there somewhere)
and things to crawl over and crawl under (coffee tables, chairs) and get a
stopwatch to time it.
Dance - put on happy high-energy music and dance around the apartment. My
kids liked scarves - long flowing scarves to wave around while they danced.
There are really cheap little paper thingies that sort of unwind and you
wave them around in patters while you dance - like gymnasts use.
Punching bags! Those bouncy balls kids can sit on and bounce around. I know
I know - doesn't seem safe for indoors - MAKE it safe.
Make it a priority - spend at hours every single day outdoors where he can
run and play. Play WITH him if he's not finding other kids to play with. If
you're having fun together, why would he be sitting and crying. Take bubble
stuff and weird bubble wands that you make out of pipe cleaners. Do the
mentos experiment. Get those cheap little balsa wood gliders and fly those
(and chase them). Make a little scooter ramp to take to the park. Make life
outdoors fun and run around with him and climb up on the playground
equipment with him and slide down the slide and haul water for him so he
can build castles with moats in the sandbox.
That he has trouble sharing isn't a reason to not take him out. Be there to
help. Think ahead - take something that he is willing to share or don't
take toys at all. Most kids on playgrounds don't bring their own toys -
mostly they play on the playground equipment. Second - you don't have to go
to playgrounds - go to parts of parks where there are trees and bushes to
run around in, too. Take a ball and play with him.
Playing in the bathtub is really good - being immersed in water is an
extraordinary calming and physically nurturing thing. Bathtub play was kind
of a lifesaver for me with my extremely high-energy and intense kid! I'd
put all kinds of things in the tub - egg beaters, cups and bowls, measuring
cups, basters, and so on. An empty tub and a big huge bowl of instant
pudding was great - they played and played with it - and it washed right
away. Bubble baths - of course - but be creative with them (add flavorings
like pineapple or chocolate to the water, for example). Baths were really a
focal point of our days during winter months. (Put towels on the floor and
don't worry about it getting wet.)
It is very sad when a child is diagnosed as having ADD or hyperactivity or
whatever - but the kid is a rambunctious little one who is mostly being
kept indoors in an apartment and not getting hours of strenuous big-body
play time every day - then the poor kid gets drugged and treated and talked
about as if there is something wrong with him! Instead of considering him
as disabled in some way and trying to treat it - consider him as an
extremely rambunctious kiddo who needs a tremendous amount of physical
activity. Make it your goal and your priority that he is physically worn
out at the end of every single day. End the day with long playtime in the
bathtub.
Focus your own energy on being super creative about fun things to do
together that involve large-muscle activity.
clear out some furniture to make enough space for large-body play.
Mini-trampolines in front of the tv!! We ended up, at one time, with two of
them and that was a HUGE draw - to bounce back and forth.
Twister - the game.
Hula hoops can be used indoors.
Tunnels, yo-yos, spinny things you stand on.
Bean bag toss games -- here is one you can buy, but you can just make bean
bags (fill tube socks with rice or beans or hard corn and tie a knot in the
end) and find places to throw them - allow for him to be able to throw
HARD, not just gently toss, too.
http://www.orientaltrading.com/tiki-bean-bag-toss-game-a2-34_1884.fltr?prodCatId=388930&tabId=4
Oriental trading company also has an inflatable limbo game. But you could
just play limbo with him using a broomstick.
Play "run, jump, punch" - duct tape a "target" (something he can punch - an
old throw pillow, for example) onto a broom handle - hold it out and let
him run at it and punch it (or jump/kick it, even better). Then hold it a
little higher and a little higher - make it more of a challenge (but not so
high as to frustrate him - this is supposed to be fun).
Paddle balls - those things with a little rubber ball connected to a paddle
with elastic.
Balloons - play together trying to keep a balloon in the air. Same with
feathers.
We had a big peacock feather for years - and the kids would move all over
the room trying to keep it balanced on the tip of their finger.
Play hopscotch in the house. I bought a set of placemats at a thrift store
- plastic ones. I got several sets. We ended up writing numbers on them and
the kids would lay them out in the living room and play hopscotch on them
(and use them as part of their obstacle courses).
Also play "sharks" or "lava" - put old placemats or sheets of newspaper or
anything else - all over the room, just far enough apart that it is a
challenge to go from one to the other and then hop around pretending that
if you step off either the sharks will get you or you'll be in hot lava.
Those big cardboard brick building blocks (
http://www.amazon.com/Giant-Building-Block-40-piece-Set/dp/B00005ICC4)
Combine these with small tables and chairs and cushions and more - to
build BIG structures.
Drag home large appliance boxes if you see them - kids can find all kinds
of ways to play with them and they encourage large muscle play.
Those little parachute guys that he can climb up high and drop (or look
online you can make these easily).
Put up a short step ladder in the middle of the living room - play pretend
with it. Drop parachutes off it. Every time he climbs up and down - that's
good!
Jump ropes - play "snakes" by wiggling it as you move around the room and
he tries to stomp it. Make up more games with ropes.
Make "obstacle courses" throughout the apartment - put couch cushions and
pieces of newspaper and other things (a mini trampoline in there somewhere)
and things to crawl over and crawl under (coffee tables, chairs) and get a
stopwatch to time it.
Dance - put on happy high-energy music and dance around the apartment. My
kids liked scarves - long flowing scarves to wave around while they danced.
There are really cheap little paper thingies that sort of unwind and you
wave them around in patters while you dance - like gymnasts use.
Punching bags! Those bouncy balls kids can sit on and bounce around. I know
I know - doesn't seem safe for indoors - MAKE it safe.
Make it a priority - spend at hours every single day outdoors where he can
run and play. Play WITH him if he's not finding other kids to play with. If
you're having fun together, why would he be sitting and crying. Take bubble
stuff and weird bubble wands that you make out of pipe cleaners. Do the
mentos experiment. Get those cheap little balsa wood gliders and fly those
(and chase them). Make a little scooter ramp to take to the park. Make life
outdoors fun and run around with him and climb up on the playground
equipment with him and slide down the slide and haul water for him so he
can build castles with moats in the sandbox.
That he has trouble sharing isn't a reason to not take him out. Be there to
help. Think ahead - take something that he is willing to share or don't
take toys at all. Most kids on playgrounds don't bring their own toys -
mostly they play on the playground equipment. Second - you don't have to go
to playgrounds - go to parts of parks where there are trees and bushes to
run around in, too. Take a ball and play with him.
Playing in the bathtub is really good - being immersed in water is an
extraordinary calming and physically nurturing thing. Bathtub play was kind
of a lifesaver for me with my extremely high-energy and intense kid! I'd
put all kinds of things in the tub - egg beaters, cups and bowls, measuring
cups, basters, and so on. An empty tub and a big huge bowl of instant
pudding was great - they played and played with it - and it washed right
away. Bubble baths - of course - but be creative with them (add flavorings
like pineapple or chocolate to the water, for example). Baths were really a
focal point of our days during winter months. (Put towels on the floor and
don't worry about it getting wet.)
It is very sad when a child is diagnosed as having ADD or hyperactivity or
whatever - but the kid is a rambunctious little one who is mostly being
kept indoors in an apartment and not getting hours of strenuous big-body
play time every day - then the poor kid gets drugged and treated and talked
about as if there is something wrong with him! Instead of considering him
as disabled in some way and trying to treat it - consider him as an
extremely rambunctious kiddo who needs a tremendous amount of physical
activity. Make it your goal and your priority that he is physically worn
out at the end of every single day. End the day with long playtime in the
bathtub.
Focus your own energy on being super creative about fun things to do
together that involve large-muscle activity.
On Thu, Jun 14, 2012 at 7:48 AM, Laura Selecman <poptartcutie@...>wrote:
> **
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >So in staying home with them. In an apartment how do you suggest ideas to
> release such energy? I would love to know because I cannot figure it out.
> We do playgrounds. He rides his scooter. We go for walks whenever we can, I
> take them to the play ground as much as possible. He plays a lone 99% of
> the time even when there are kids running around. He cries because they
> won't share their toys, then when I bring his he doesn't want to play with
> them. So he sits at the playground then comes home and goes crazy. I dont
> know what else I can do to help him get his energy out. I am at a loss.
> >
> >Thanks,
> >Laura
> >
> >
> >Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android
> >
> >
> >________________________________
> > From: Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>;
> >To: <[email protected]>;
> >Subject: [AlwaysLearning] kids and physical needs
> >Sent: Wed, Jun 13, 2012 6:26:23 PM
> >
> >
> >Two posts today from moms comparing older daughters and younger sons - and
> >in both cases the girls come off as easy and docile while the boys are
> >aggressive and physical.
> >
> >I've noticed that moms very often vastly underestimate the amount of
> >physical activity their kids need and they think there is something wrong
> >with their kids when what they really need is many more hours of physical
> >activity.
> >
> >My siblings and I played outdoors from morning 'til night, as kids. We ran
> >and jumped and tumbled and skated and biked and climbed and dug and chased
> >and roughhoused like crazy. I also spent many hours in water almost every
> >single day during the summer.
> >
> >On school days I walked/ran to and from school, had at least two recesses
> a
> >class physical education time (we played games like Capture the Flag,
> >dodgeball, and Red Rover Red Rover) and a lunch break (I ran home for
> lunch
> >and back quickly to spend time playing on the playground), and we had NO
> >homework so the minute I got home from school I changed into pants/shorts
> >because girls had to wear dresses to school in those days and ran back
> >outside to play with neighborhood kids. Play consisted very largely of
> >hide-and-seek, kick-the-can, stickball, kickball, a wide variety of tag
> >games, mother-may-I, lemonade, red light green light, duck duck goose, and
> >a TON of hopscotch. I roller skated and rode my bike and we had
> rudimentary
> >skateboards (we took apart our skates and nailed them to boards). We had
> >pogo sticks and slip-n-slides and hula hoops. We often went over to the
> >school playground and played on the equipment - rings, slides, swings. We
> >played foursquare a lot. My neighbor had a trampoline and we bounced and
> >bounced and bounced.
> >
> >Nearly every evening of my childhood I was physically worn out - very
> >grubby and tired and ready to have some dinner, a bath, watch a little tv,
> >have some stories or have mom or dad sing to us kids, maybe play with my
> >sisters with dolls or something for a little while and often fall asleep
> >reading a book.
> >
> >And "I" was a fairly sedentary kid compared to many! I was a bookworm kid
> >who loved board and card games.
> >
> >Children haven't changed - their physical needs haven't changed - since
> the
> >50's or 60's. Some kids need more and others need less physical activity,
> >but when a parent thinks a kid is "hyper" or "bounces off the walls" or
> >complains about a kid's aggressive behaviors and so on - the parent
> >probably has no idea the sheer quantity of physically strenuous activity
> >that that child needs.
> >
> >People these days will say, "He's got soccer 3 days a week," as if that is
> >supposed to give him enough opportunity for physical activity. First, I
> >love soccer for many kids, but it is a structured-by-adults activity in
> >which a child has to control his physical urges for much of the time. He
> >has to wait, stand in line, use the part of his body he is supposed to
> use.
> >It is not at all the same as structured-by-the-kids-themselves play. And,
> a
> >few hours a week is completely inadequate for most kids as an energy burn
> >off. They more likely need a few hours every day.
> >
> >Yes, kids are different. Not all kids want or need a lot of physical
> >activity. Some will climb a tree and sit up on a branch and read a book
> for
> >hours - not hang and swing and jump and balance. But ONLY the child can
> >really know how much physical activity he or she needs and the child can
> >only figure that out in the context of having plentiful free and
> >unstructured time for it.
> >
> >Boys, on the average, need even greater amounts of strenuous physical
> >activity than girls. That they tend to be more aggressive has to do with
> >hormones they experience even in the womb. Again - there is a big range
> and
> >some girls have greater physical needs than some boys and vice versa - but
> >moms seem to very often have a hard time with how physical their little
> >boys are. The same can be true for moms of girls who happen to have
> >extremely high physical energy needs.
> >
> >Sometimes dads help the moms understand their boys' physical needs, but
> >when dads are busy working all day and it is mom who is home with the
> kids,
> >boys can end up being very much not getting their needs met and moms end
> up
> >thinking there is something wrong with their little boys.
> >
> >Of course all of this is made much worse by school, where all kids are
> >expected to sit still much of the time. But homeschooling moms can have
> >unrealistic expectations, too. And I think many of their sons suffer for
> it
> >(and some of their daughters, too).
> >
> >-pam
> >
> >[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
> >
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Corkey
Laura,
We live in a tiny apartment in New York City. My son does not like to go out (the hustle and bustle overwhelms and irritates him). Here are physical things we do inside every day:
-we constantly play/roll on/bounce on our huge exercise ball
-jump rope . We have an ongoing contest for how many jumps we can do without messing up
-play Dance Dance Revolution
-bounce on hippety hops (Ours is bug enough for me to ride on)
-Dance to music. Everything from hip-hop to tango
-We have a game that involves trying to knock each other over with pillows on the queen-size bed
-setting up "Wipe-Out" style obstacle courses on the furniture (putting slip covers on things helps me to chill out about damage)
-play "Bop-it Bounce" ball game: http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-20163-Bop-It-Bounce/dp/B0036RIMNQ
-juggle
-many many improvised games with our dog involving stuffed animals, balls, treats, etc.
-a ping-pong set that we set up on our dining room table. We use pennies to keep score and play real sets. A few weeks ago we had a friend over and played for the "championship." Cheap and still a favorite after years! You can get it for about $10: http://www.coolstuffexpress.com/table-top-ping-pong-set.html?feed=Froogle
-inflatable swords and socker boppers
-sit-and-spin
-trying to keep a ballon from touching the floor can be incredibly entertaining and active, especially for little kids.
-a small indoor trampoline. They come with or without a handlebar.
-basketball with an over the door hoop and soft, spongy balls
-a few years ago I bought a bunch of upholstery foam remnants super cheap from a furniture repair place. We used them to build all kinds of things you could jump and fall and climb on. We stored them under the bed.
-until recently, we've always had an indoor swing. This is the model and it's very easy to install in a doorway: http://www.amazon.com/Rainy-Day-Indoor-Piece-Combo/dp/B000W0A1NE/ref=pd_sim_sbs_t_1
It's a little pricey, but we've used ours for over a decade (my eldest is 21).
We do all of this and more, alone or with friends. On a bigger scale, I have scrimped and saved all year to be able to leave the city for the summer and stay at a cabin on a lake so my son can spend his days in the country swimming, which is something he loves. There are lots of solutions, big and small, for helping kids get physical needs met.
It sounds like your son doesn't really enjoy crowds of other kids or playing at the park. Mine doesn't either and forcing him into those situation was harmful to him and to our relationship. Hope these ideas help.
Pamela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We live in a tiny apartment in New York City. My son does not like to go out (the hustle and bustle overwhelms and irritates him). Here are physical things we do inside every day:
-we constantly play/roll on/bounce on our huge exercise ball
-jump rope . We have an ongoing contest for how many jumps we can do without messing up
-play Dance Dance Revolution
-bounce on hippety hops (Ours is bug enough for me to ride on)
-Dance to music. Everything from hip-hop to tango
-We have a game that involves trying to knock each other over with pillows on the queen-size bed
-setting up "Wipe-Out" style obstacle courses on the furniture (putting slip covers on things helps me to chill out about damage)
-play "Bop-it Bounce" ball game: http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-20163-Bop-It-Bounce/dp/B0036RIMNQ
-juggle
-many many improvised games with our dog involving stuffed animals, balls, treats, etc.
-a ping-pong set that we set up on our dining room table. We use pennies to keep score and play real sets. A few weeks ago we had a friend over and played for the "championship." Cheap and still a favorite after years! You can get it for about $10: http://www.coolstuffexpress.com/table-top-ping-pong-set.html?feed=Froogle
-inflatable swords and socker boppers
-sit-and-spin
-trying to keep a ballon from touching the floor can be incredibly entertaining and active, especially for little kids.
-a small indoor trampoline. They come with or without a handlebar.
-basketball with an over the door hoop and soft, spongy balls
-a few years ago I bought a bunch of upholstery foam remnants super cheap from a furniture repair place. We used them to build all kinds of things you could jump and fall and climb on. We stored them under the bed.
-until recently, we've always had an indoor swing. This is the model and it's very easy to install in a doorway: http://www.amazon.com/Rainy-Day-Indoor-Piece-Combo/dp/B000W0A1NE/ref=pd_sim_sbs_t_1
It's a little pricey, but we've used ours for over a decade (my eldest is 21).
We do all of this and more, alone or with friends. On a bigger scale, I have scrimped and saved all year to be able to leave the city for the summer and stay at a cabin on a lake so my son can spend his days in the country swimming, which is something he loves. There are lots of solutions, big and small, for helping kids get physical needs met.
It sounds like your son doesn't really enjoy crowds of other kids or playing at the park. Mine doesn't either and forcing him into those situation was harmful to him and to our relationship. Hope these ideas help.
Pamela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
Laura Selecman <poptartcutie@...> wrote:
Make forts and tunnels in the living room using blankets and cushions - crawl around and through and over them.
Twister. And make up other games to play with the board, like hopscotch, jumping from one color to another. Jumping games in general are fun - how many times can you jump? Jump on one foot? How high can you jump? Jump rope (inside, if you have the space, you can tie one end to a doornob and "turn" the other end for him. Or have jumprope races down a hallway (make sure the downstairs neighbors aren't home).
Get some flimsy fabric or scarves and dance with them. If you have a big enough piece of fabric you can toss it up in the air and try to get under it before it lands.
Play games with balloons - volleyball, soccer, and if you can do it without disturbing the neighbors "balloon stomp" where you tie a balloon to one leg and see how quickly you can break it by stepping on it.
Toys like a sit-n-spin, a skateboard (use it sitting down), an exercise or bounce ball, an inflatable punching bag, and a mini trampoline can be stored and brought out one at a time.
Party games like blind-mans-bluff and pin-the-tail can be played easily at home with one or two kids. Get a book of party games, or look some up on the web.
Wind down by transitioning to something else, rather than just "that's enough". A snack makes a good transition, or switch to video games or a movie.
---Meredith
>> >So in staying home with them. In an apartment how do you suggest ideas to release such energy?***************
Make forts and tunnels in the living room using blankets and cushions - crawl around and through and over them.
Twister. And make up other games to play with the board, like hopscotch, jumping from one color to another. Jumping games in general are fun - how many times can you jump? Jump on one foot? How high can you jump? Jump rope (inside, if you have the space, you can tie one end to a doornob and "turn" the other end for him. Or have jumprope races down a hallway (make sure the downstairs neighbors aren't home).
Get some flimsy fabric or scarves and dance with them. If you have a big enough piece of fabric you can toss it up in the air and try to get under it before it lands.
Play games with balloons - volleyball, soccer, and if you can do it without disturbing the neighbors "balloon stomp" where you tie a balloon to one leg and see how quickly you can break it by stepping on it.
Toys like a sit-n-spin, a skateboard (use it sitting down), an exercise or bounce ball, an inflatable punching bag, and a mini trampoline can be stored and brought out one at a time.
Party games like blind-mans-bluff and pin-the-tail can be played easily at home with one or two kids. Get a book of party games, or look some up on the web.
Wind down by transitioning to something else, rather than just "that's enough". A snack makes a good transition, or switch to video games or a movie.
---Meredith
haydee deldenovese
wow Meredith, what great ideas you have!!! I am taking some of those myself
and in passing, ask this question... How do I learn to PLAY and have real
FUN with my children?
and in passing, ask this question... How do I learn to PLAY and have real
FUN with my children?
On Thu, Jun 14, 2012 at 1:15 PM, Meredith <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
> Laura Selecman <poptartcutie@...> wrote:
> >> >So in staying home with them. In an apartment how do you suggest ideas
> to release such energy?
> ***************
>
> Make forts and tunnels in the living room using blankets and cushions -
> crawl around and through and over them.
>
> Twister. And make up other games to play with the board, like hopscotch,
> jumping from one color to another. Jumping games in general are fun - how
> many times can you jump? Jump on one foot? How high can you jump? Jump rope
> (inside, if you have the space, you can tie one end to a doornob and "turn"
> the other end for him. Or have jumprope races down a hallway (make sure the
> downstairs neighbors aren't home).
>
> Get some flimsy fabric or scarves and dance with them. If you have a big
> enough piece of fabric you can toss it up in the air and try to get under
> it before it lands.
>
> Play games with balloons - volleyball, soccer, and if you can do it
> without disturbing the neighbors "balloon stomp" where you tie a balloon to
> one leg and see how quickly you can break it by stepping on it.
>
> Toys like a sit-n-spin, a skateboard (use it sitting down), an exercise or
> bounce ball, an inflatable punching bag, and a mini trampoline can be
> stored and brought out one at a time.
>
> Party games like blind-mans-bluff and pin-the-tail can be played easily at
> home with one or two kids. Get a book of party games, or look some up on
> the web.
>
> Wind down by transitioning to something else, rather than just "that's
> enough". A snack makes a good transition, or switch to video games or a
> movie.
>
> ---Meredith
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
And some more ideas from living up North and getting long winters:
We used to push all furniture towards the walls and dance dance dance and spin to music!
Obstacle course with chairs, cushions, a beam to walk over and whatever you can find that will be fun.
Wii games and now they have those awesome Kinnect games!!! Fun for everyone!
Mattress on the floor for jumping ( if you are not going to bother neighbors!)
I also had an inflatable jumping structure that was awesome and I got on sale one year that was really cool:
http://teeganeross.hubpages.com/hub/Inflatable-Trampoline%c2%a0
Inflatable swords and boxing gloves to fight! ( I love to play those!)
Our treadmill has been used to by both my kids ( warning that need to be used under very close supervision with young kids)
But my kids have used them to run since they were a year and a half!
Alex Polikowsky
________________________________
From: Meredith <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2012 12:15 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: kids and physical needs
Laura Selecman <poptartcutie@...> wrote:
Make forts and tunnels in the living room using blankets and cushions - crawl around and through and over them.
Twister. And make up other games to play with the board, like hopscotch, jumping from one color to another. Jumping games in general are fun - how many times can you jump? Jump on one foot? How high can you jump? Jump rope (inside, if you have the space, you can tie one end to a doornob and "turn" the other end for him. Or have jumprope races down a hallway (make sure the downstairs neighbors aren't home).
Get some flimsy fabric or scarves and dance with them. If you have a big enough piece of fabric you can toss it up in the air and try to get under it before it lands.
Play games with balloons - volleyball, soccer, and if you can do it without disturbing the neighbors "balloon stomp" where you tie a balloon to one leg and see how quickly you can break it by stepping on it.
Toys like a sit-n-spin, a skateboard (use it sitting down), an exercise or bounce ball, an inflatable punching bag, and a mini trampoline can be stored and brought out one at a time.
Party games like blind-mans-bluff and pin-the-tail can be played easily at home with one or two kids. Get a book of party games, or look some up on the web.
Wind down by transitioning to something else, rather than just "that's enough". A snack makes a good transition, or switch to video games or a movie.
---Meredith
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We used to push all furniture towards the walls and dance dance dance and spin to music!
Obstacle course with chairs, cushions, a beam to walk over and whatever you can find that will be fun.
Wii games and now they have those awesome Kinnect games!!! Fun for everyone!
Mattress on the floor for jumping ( if you are not going to bother neighbors!)
I also had an inflatable jumping structure that was awesome and I got on sale one year that was really cool:
http://teeganeross.hubpages.com/hub/Inflatable-Trampoline%c2%a0
Inflatable swords and boxing gloves to fight! ( I love to play those!)
Our treadmill has been used to by both my kids ( warning that need to be used under very close supervision with young kids)
But my kids have used them to run since they were a year and a half!
Alex Polikowsky
________________________________
From: Meredith <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2012 12:15 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: kids and physical needs
Laura Selecman <poptartcutie@...> wrote:
>> >So in staying home with them. In an apartment how do you suggest ideas to release such energy?***************
Make forts and tunnels in the living room using blankets and cushions - crawl around and through and over them.
Twister. And make up other games to play with the board, like hopscotch, jumping from one color to another. Jumping games in general are fun - how many times can you jump? Jump on one foot? How high can you jump? Jump rope (inside, if you have the space, you can tie one end to a doornob and "turn" the other end for him. Or have jumprope races down a hallway (make sure the downstairs neighbors aren't home).
Get some flimsy fabric or scarves and dance with them. If you have a big enough piece of fabric you can toss it up in the air and try to get under it before it lands.
Play games with balloons - volleyball, soccer, and if you can do it without disturbing the neighbors "balloon stomp" where you tie a balloon to one leg and see how quickly you can break it by stepping on it.
Toys like a sit-n-spin, a skateboard (use it sitting down), an exercise or bounce ball, an inflatable punching bag, and a mini trampoline can be stored and brought out one at a time.
Party games like blind-mans-bluff and pin-the-tail can be played easily at home with one or two kids. Get a book of party games, or look some up on the web.
Wind down by transitioning to something else, rather than just "that's enough". A snack makes a good transition, or switch to video games or a movie.
---Meredith
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-How do I learn to PLAY and have real
FUN with my children?-=-
Wasn't this question asked in this discussion just yesterday or maybe two days ago? :-)
http://sandradodd.com/playing
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
And a book was recommended. Maybe search the archive for "playing" for other ideas from past discussions.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
FUN with my children?-=-
Wasn't this question asked in this discussion just yesterday or maybe two days ago? :-)
http://sandradodd.com/playing
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
And a book was recommended. Maybe search the archive for "playing" for other ideas from past discussions.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-
Wasn't this question asked in this discussion just yesterday or maybe two days ago? :-)-=-
Oh, right.
I was reading the mail from two days ago that I had missed. :-)
Same question.
Sorry.
:-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wasn't this question asked in this discussion just yesterday or maybe two days ago? :-)-=-
Oh, right.
I was reading the mail from two days ago that I had missed. :-)
Same question.
Sorry.
:-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Catherine GB
"How do I learn to PLAY and have real
FUN with my children?"
Hi
a book I found very interesting and useeful to help me play with my boys
was "Playful Parenting" from Larry Cohen. He has a website and there is
a yahoo group too.
There is lots of ideas to get closer to your children through play. It
changed the way I played with my sons and helpe me connect more with them.
Cath
FUN with my children?"
Hi
a book I found very interesting and useeful to help me play with my boys
was "Playful Parenting" from Larry Cohen. He has a website and there is
a yahoo group too.
There is lots of ideas to get closer to your children through play. It
changed the way I played with my sons and helpe me connect more with them.
Cath