talking about unschooling with your children
Melissa Dietrick
hello,
Im wondering how others share what unschooling is with their children.
my last 3 that we are unschooling with are 11yo, 8yo and 6yo,
my olders have all gone to school but have been living with
unschooling principals for 5 years now...Deschooling is still happening for
me and my husband...
Im not sure how to explain the why for my question.
I have noticed in interviews and descriptions that the children express
themselves as "learning on their own" "learning all the time" and I am
wondering how my children would answer that question from someone (school
officials come to mind, with exam time looming in the near future). I have
asked them myself "how did you learn that?" and I've received their view:
"Im not sure! I just ...Knew" (on learning to read--my almost 9yo) or "I
learned it myself" or "my brother showed me how"
but Im curious if talking about how they are learning (unschooling, natural
learning) in a more specific way would be helpful or not...They know they
learn differently from their older brothers and sisters.
I hope this question is clear enough, if not, I will try to tweak it into
shape
Melissa
in Italy
mamma of 7
--
"There is a Place beyond Rightness and Wrongness -- let us meet There."
§Rumi
http://apprendimentonaturale.blogspot.com/
www.nontogliermiilsorriso.org
http://www.indianbambooflute.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/larimeloom
http://it.groups.yahoo.com/group/apprendimentonaturale/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Im wondering how others share what unschooling is with their children.
my last 3 that we are unschooling with are 11yo, 8yo and 6yo,
my olders have all gone to school but have been living with
unschooling principals for 5 years now...Deschooling is still happening for
me and my husband...
Im not sure how to explain the why for my question.
I have noticed in interviews and descriptions that the children express
themselves as "learning on their own" "learning all the time" and I am
wondering how my children would answer that question from someone (school
officials come to mind, with exam time looming in the near future). I have
asked them myself "how did you learn that?" and I've received their view:
"Im not sure! I just ...Knew" (on learning to read--my almost 9yo) or "I
learned it myself" or "my brother showed me how"
but Im curious if talking about how they are learning (unschooling, natural
learning) in a more specific way would be helpful or not...They know they
learn differently from their older brothers and sisters.
I hope this question is clear enough, if not, I will try to tweak it into
shape
Melissa
in Italy
mamma of 7
--
"There is a Place beyond Rightness and Wrongness -- let us meet There."
§Rumi
http://apprendimentonaturale.blogspot.com/
www.nontogliermiilsorriso.org
http://www.indianbambooflute.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/larimeloom
http://it.groups.yahoo.com/group/apprendimentonaturale/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Hope Nilges
=Im wondering how others share what unschooling is with their children.=
I kept a blog when we first began unschooling which detailed my untangling of thoughts and ideas, observations about the kids learning, dealing with my own doubts, pictures of our days, etc. Both of the kids had access to the blog. My then 9yo son was really interested and asked lots of questions about unschooling which I answered. My then 8yo daughter could have cared less- she was just living her life and reading about it sure seemed boring. So, I put the information out there and then followed their lead about how much each of them wanted to know.
Hope
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I kept a blog when we first began unschooling which detailed my untangling of thoughts and ideas, observations about the kids learning, dealing with my own doubts, pictures of our days, etc. Both of the kids had access to the blog. My then 9yo son was really interested and asked lots of questions about unschooling which I answered. My then 8yo daughter could have cared less- she was just living her life and reading about it sure seemed boring. So, I put the information out there and then followed their lead about how much each of them wanted to know.
Hope
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I've received their view:
"Im not sure! I just ...Knew" (on learning to read--my almost 9yo) or "I
learned it myself" or "my brother showed me how"
but Im curious if talking about how they are learning (unschooling, natural
learning) in a more specific way would be helpful or not...-=-
I don't think it's worth discussing with kids who haven't asked. If they wonder, they'll ask you.
Self-consciousness about how they're learning isn't a great addition to their toolbox. I've seen unschooling parents who yap on about unschooling being great, and we do X because we're unschoolers, and every time, I've wished they hadn't done that. At a conference, during a discussion, that's a time to discuss it. At home on a normal day in the real world? I wouldn't unless they ask.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"Im not sure! I just ...Knew" (on learning to read--my almost 9yo) or "I
learned it myself" or "my brother showed me how"
but Im curious if talking about how they are learning (unschooling, natural
learning) in a more specific way would be helpful or not...-=-
I don't think it's worth discussing with kids who haven't asked. If they wonder, they'll ask you.
Self-consciousness about how they're learning isn't a great addition to their toolbox. I've seen unschooling parents who yap on about unschooling being great, and we do X because we're unschoolers, and every time, I've wished they hadn't done that. At a conference, during a discussion, that's a time to discuss it. At home on a normal day in the real world? I wouldn't unless they ask.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
Melissa Dietrick <melissa.dietrick@...> wrote:
Kids who come out of school around 11yo or older sometimes benefit from talking about the ideas behind unschooling. Others just find it reassuring to know that other kids do it and turn out fine. When we pulled Ray out of school, at 13 after school and homeschool, he was a little worried that he would somehow be responsible for coming up with his own homeschool-style curriculum, so I reassured him that wasn't the case. We talked a bit about deschooling - that school had messed him up and he needed time to get over that. At first he was a little concerned deschooling was something we did to him - like therapy - so I reassured him that wasn't the case, it was something which would happen naturally.
My daughter, Mo, is 10 and has never been to school or done any kind of homeschool. I haven't told her about unschooling per se, although she seems to have learned the word, somewhere, and knows it's the kind of homeschooling we do. I have mentioned that some people who have gone to school think the best or only place kids can learn is in school. Some acquaintances of hers were asking about homeschooling - what do you do? How do you Learn anything? so she wanted to know what was wrong with those kids, that they didn't know how to learn.
---Meredith
> Im curious if talking about how they are learning (unschooling, naturalStop and think about that from another angle - how do You learn things? If I give it a name, will that help you learn better? If I give you a pile of principles about how learning works, does that help you learn? If part of your deschooling involves letting go of messages about how people *should* learn, then the principles might help, but the principles of learning won't help with things you already learn easily.
> learning) in a more specific way would be helpful or not
Kids who come out of school around 11yo or older sometimes benefit from talking about the ideas behind unschooling. Others just find it reassuring to know that other kids do it and turn out fine. When we pulled Ray out of school, at 13 after school and homeschool, he was a little worried that he would somehow be responsible for coming up with his own homeschool-style curriculum, so I reassured him that wasn't the case. We talked a bit about deschooling - that school had messed him up and he needed time to get over that. At first he was a little concerned deschooling was something we did to him - like therapy - so I reassured him that wasn't the case, it was something which would happen naturally.
My daughter, Mo, is 10 and has never been to school or done any kind of homeschool. I haven't told her about unschooling per se, although she seems to have learned the word, somewhere, and knows it's the kind of homeschooling we do. I have mentioned that some people who have gone to school think the best or only place kids can learn is in school. Some acquaintances of hers were asking about homeschooling - what do you do? How do you Learn anything? so she wanted to know what was wrong with those kids, that they didn't know how to learn.
---Meredith
Melissa Dietrick
==-==I don't think it's worth discussing with kids who haven't asked. If
they wonder, they'll ask you. ==-=
good, because they haven't asked and I have explained.
==-=Self-consciousness about how they're learning isn't a great addition to
their toolbox. I've seen unschooling parents who yap on about unschooling
being great, and we do X because we're unschoolers, and every time, I've
wished they hadn't done that. At a conference, during a discussion, that's
a time to discuss it. At home on a normal day in the real world? I wouldn't
unless they ask.==-=
yes, this is my concern, but at the same time...because they have 2
brothers in highschool (and lived with 2 sisters in school that are done
now) I wonder how the differences in approaches may be effecting their
views on learning.. Maybe Im niggling at something that is irrelevant, but
I can help but wonder.
melissa
in italy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
they wonder, they'll ask you. ==-=
good, because they haven't asked and I have explained.
==-=Self-consciousness about how they're learning isn't a great addition to
their toolbox. I've seen unschooling parents who yap on about unschooling
being great, and we do X because we're unschoolers, and every time, I've
wished they hadn't done that. At a conference, during a discussion, that's
a time to discuss it. At home on a normal day in the real world? I wouldn't
unless they ask.==-=
yes, this is my concern, but at the same time...because they have 2
brothers in highschool (and lived with 2 sisters in school that are done
now) I wonder how the differences in approaches may be effecting their
views on learning.. Maybe Im niggling at something that is irrelevant, but
I can help but wonder.
melissa
in italy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Dietrick
2012/3/31 Melissa Dietrick <melissa.dietrick@...>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>melissa
> ==-==I don't think it's worth discussing with kids who haven't asked. If
> they wonder, they'll ask you. ==-=
> good, because they haven't asked and I have explained.
>
> oops I meant they havent asked and I have NOT explained.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Dietrick
thanks hope:
=-=I kept a blog when we first began unschooling which detailed my
untangling of thoughts and ideas, observations about the kids learning,
dealing with my own doubts, pictures of our days, etc. Both of the kids had
access to the blog. My then 9yo son was really interested and asked lots of
questions about unschooling which I answered. My then 8yo daughter could
have cared less- she was just living her life and reading about it sure
seemed boring. So, I put the information out there and then followed their
lead about how much each of them wanted to know.=-=
I keep a blog (not very well) with the same intentions...and sometimes my
11yo daughter posts something she's done.
My husband and I talk about learning sometimes and she listens in...and my
older boys (17 and 14)sometimes "tease" me that I dont teach them
anything...to which I respond on how much they are learning, and why...and
sometimes the children are there.
I wonder sometimes if it could be (or is) a problem for the 3 youngers, and
Im wanting to see if there is something I can do or not do to make sure it
is not a problem but an enrichment...
not sure if Im making myself clear...
sometimes I miss being fluent in my own language!
melissa
in italy
"There is a Place beyond Rightness and Wrongness -- let us meet There."
§Rumi
http://apprendimentonaturale.blogspot.com/
www.nontogliermiilsorriso.org
http://www.indianbambooflute.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/larimeloom
http://it.groups.yahoo.com/group/apprendimentonaturale/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
=-=I kept a blog when we first began unschooling which detailed my
untangling of thoughts and ideas, observations about the kids learning,
dealing with my own doubts, pictures of our days, etc. Both of the kids had
access to the blog. My then 9yo son was really interested and asked lots of
questions about unschooling which I answered. My then 8yo daughter could
have cared less- she was just living her life and reading about it sure
seemed boring. So, I put the information out there and then followed their
lead about how much each of them wanted to know.=-=
I keep a blog (not very well) with the same intentions...and sometimes my
11yo daughter posts something she's done.
My husband and I talk about learning sometimes and she listens in...and my
older boys (17 and 14)sometimes "tease" me that I dont teach them
anything...to which I respond on how much they are learning, and why...and
sometimes the children are there.
I wonder sometimes if it could be (or is) a problem for the 3 youngers, and
Im wanting to see if there is something I can do or not do to make sure it
is not a problem but an enrichment...
not sure if Im making myself clear...
sometimes I miss being fluent in my own language!
melissa
in italy
"There is a Place beyond Rightness and Wrongness -- let us meet There."
§Rumi
http://apprendimentonaturale.blogspot.com/
www.nontogliermiilsorriso.org
http://www.indianbambooflute.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/larimeloom
http://it.groups.yahoo.com/group/apprendimentonaturale/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Dietrick
=-=Stop and think about that from another angle - how do You learn things?
If I give it a name, will that help you learn better? If I give you a pile
of principles about how learning works, does that help you learn? If part
of your deschooling involves letting go of messages about how people
*should* learn, then the principles might help, but the principles of
learning won't help with things you already learn easily. =-=
Well, for me, because I must interact with school officials that may be
worried Im not qualified enough, it is VERY helpful to be aware of how one
learns best, and how one may be hindered.
Being aware of the principals and the things that hinder are very helpful
to me as they give me empowerment to stand up for what I am convinced is
best for my children...meeting their interests creates the most learning.
It gives me the strength to take them to the end of the year exam serenely
even though my 9yo writes like is brothers did in first grade.
I am wondering if you all can see where my worries are stemming from...?
Of course my children dont need to understand, because they are the best
learners around here...and remember so much. but I worry about the
differences that show up as they get older...and how they can handle that
sort of comparison in a positive way.
unschooling hero is Andre' Stern, who grew up without school in France and
is now 41 years old and has a 3yo child who he will not send to school. My
husband and Shanti (11yo) watched a video that features him, and then read
together an exerpt from a talk he gave here in italy a few weeks ago that
was really inspiring (I didnt hear him talk but the notes a friend of mine
took and gave me were excellent).
=-=At first he was a little concerned deschooling was something we did to
him - like therapy - so I reassured him that wasn't the case, it was
something which would happen naturally. =-=
:) that is really sweet.
=-=My daughter, Mo, is 10 and has never been to school or done any kind of
homeschool. I haven't told her about unschooling per se, although she seems
to have learned the word, somewhere, and knows it's the kind of
homeschooling we do. I have mentioned that some people who have gone to
school think the best or only place kids can learn is in school. =-=
yes, they know that. And they know that there are other ways to
learn...(they are the living example of it!)
=-=Some acquaintances of hers were asking about homeschooling - what do you
do? How do you Learn anything? so she wanted to know what was wrong with
those kids, that they didn't know how to learn. =-=
I love your Mo! shes great! :)
thanks for sharing that.
melissa
in italy
---Meredith
"There is a Place beyond Rightness and Wrongness -- let us meet There."
�Rumi
http://apprendimentonaturale.blogspot.com/
www.nontogliermiilsorriso.org
http://www.indianbambooflute.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/larimeloom
http://it.groups.yahoo.com/group/apprendimentonaturale/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
If I give it a name, will that help you learn better? If I give you a pile
of principles about how learning works, does that help you learn? If part
of your deschooling involves letting go of messages about how people
*should* learn, then the principles might help, but the principles of
learning won't help with things you already learn easily. =-=
Well, for me, because I must interact with school officials that may be
worried Im not qualified enough, it is VERY helpful to be aware of how one
learns best, and how one may be hindered.
Being aware of the principals and the things that hinder are very helpful
to me as they give me empowerment to stand up for what I am convinced is
best for my children...meeting their interests creates the most learning.
It gives me the strength to take them to the end of the year exam serenely
even though my 9yo writes like is brothers did in first grade.
I am wondering if you all can see where my worries are stemming from...?
Of course my children dont need to understand, because they are the best
learners around here...and remember so much. but I worry about the
differences that show up as they get older...and how they can handle that
sort of comparison in a positive way.
> Kids who come out of school around 11yo or older sometimes benefit fromYes, I think that is key> know others turn out fine. Here in Italy the
> talking about the ideas behind unschooling. Others just find it reassuring
> to know that other kids do it and turn out fine.
>
unschooling hero is Andre' Stern, who grew up without school in France and
is now 41 years old and has a 3yo child who he will not send to school. My
husband and Shanti (11yo) watched a video that features him, and then read
together an exerpt from a talk he gave here in italy a few weeks ago that
was really inspiring (I didnt hear him talk but the notes a friend of mine
took and gave me were excellent).
=-=At first he was a little concerned deschooling was something we did to
him - like therapy - so I reassured him that wasn't the case, it was
something which would happen naturally. =-=
:) that is really sweet.
=-=My daughter, Mo, is 10 and has never been to school or done any kind of
homeschool. I haven't told her about unschooling per se, although she seems
to have learned the word, somewhere, and knows it's the kind of
homeschooling we do. I have mentioned that some people who have gone to
school think the best or only place kids can learn is in school. =-=
yes, they know that. And they know that there are other ways to
learn...(they are the living example of it!)
=-=Some acquaintances of hers were asking about homeschooling - what do you
do? How do you Learn anything? so she wanted to know what was wrong with
those kids, that they didn't know how to learn. =-=
I love your Mo! shes great! :)
thanks for sharing that.
melissa
in italy
---Meredith
>--
"There is a Place beyond Rightness and Wrongness -- let us meet There."
�Rumi
http://apprendimentonaturale.blogspot.com/
www.nontogliermiilsorriso.org
http://www.indianbambooflute.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/larimeloom
http://it.groups.yahoo.com/group/apprendimentonaturale/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Laricchia
<< I am wondering if you all can see where my worries are stemming from...? >>
I think so. You're seeing situations in the future where you can imagine it would be helpful for your younger kids to explain unschooling. You want
them to be able to do that so they don't feel belittled for learning that way.
I think you've answered your own question here:
<< Being aware of the principals and the things that hinder are very helpful to me as they give me empowerment to stand up for what I am convinced is
best for my children...meeting their interests creates the most learning. >>
They will best learn about unschooling when (if) it meets their interest i.e. when it comes up in their lives. So, if in the future they find
themselves in situations where ways of learning becomes a topic of conversation, they will have the choice to bow out of the conversations, or avoid
those situations, or learn a bit about unschooling to participate.
Knowing these situations may come up in the future, the helpful response today isn't to try to get them to learn that stuff now, just in case, but to
file your understanding for future reference. It's helpful understanding for yourself today because now you can recognize these situations quickly
if/when they arise. If it comes to pass, your child(ren) will likely mention the situation they are finding themselves in to you and, recognizing it,
you'll be able to share some insights about unschooling that you think will be most helpful for them, and they will have more info to add to their
choice whether to participate. But there's no need for action with your kids today. :-)
My three teens have picked up their own understanding of unschooling over the years, to varying depths, through conversations as the topic arose
organically, through observations of their own learning etc. - when it was interesting and/or useful to them.
Pam L
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I think so. You're seeing situations in the future where you can imagine it would be helpful for your younger kids to explain unschooling. You want
them to be able to do that so they don't feel belittled for learning that way.
I think you've answered your own question here:
<< Being aware of the principals and the things that hinder are very helpful to me as they give me empowerment to stand up for what I am convinced is
best for my children...meeting their interests creates the most learning. >>
They will best learn about unschooling when (if) it meets their interest i.e. when it comes up in their lives. So, if in the future they find
themselves in situations where ways of learning becomes a topic of conversation, they will have the choice to bow out of the conversations, or avoid
those situations, or learn a bit about unschooling to participate.
Knowing these situations may come up in the future, the helpful response today isn't to try to get them to learn that stuff now, just in case, but to
file your understanding for future reference. It's helpful understanding for yourself today because now you can recognize these situations quickly
if/when they arise. If it comes to pass, your child(ren) will likely mention the situation they are finding themselves in to you and, recognizing it,
you'll be able to share some insights about unschooling that you think will be most helpful for them, and they will have more info to add to their
choice whether to participate. But there's no need for action with your kids today. :-)
My three teens have picked up their own understanding of unschooling over the years, to varying depths, through conversations as the topic arose
organically, through observations of their own learning etc. - when it was interesting and/or useful to them.
Pam L
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
Pam Laricchia wrote:
-=-Knowing these situations may come up in the future, the helpful response today isn't to try to get them to learn that stuff now, just in case, but to
file your understanding for future reference. It's helpful understanding for yourself today because now you can recognize these situations quickly
if/when they arise. If it comes to pass, your child(ren) will likely mention the situation they are finding themselves in to you and, recognizing it,
you'll be able to share some insights about unschooling that you think will be most helpful for them, and they will have more info to add to their
choice whether to participate. But there's no need for action with your kids today. :-)-=-
Good point. :-) Treat it like any other "subject." Don't teach it.
I found it extremely useful NOT to name subject areas with my kids. I didn't tell them what was history and what was science. By the time Holly was old enough to wonder, she heard more of it than Kirby ever had, but that couldn't be helped.
http://sandradodd.com/subjects
Because they weren't categorizing their interests or knowledge by history/science/math/language, they were surprised when they were older and discovered that others were. Because they didn't "know" they were learning in a whole different way, they were surprised, later, when they discovered others didn't or seemingly couldn't learn on their own what they wanted to know.
The dawning awareness that they have and can do something others can't even imagine is pretty powerful.
Once when a neighbor boy asked Marty if he was home because I didn't think he was smart enough to go to school (they were six or seven, I think), and Marty asked me with some fear and concern, I reassured him that i thought he would be doing better than Nick the neighbor, if he were in school, but that he was going to learn the same things in different ways, maybe in a different order, and in more fun ways.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-Knowing these situations may come up in the future, the helpful response today isn't to try to get them to learn that stuff now, just in case, but to
file your understanding for future reference. It's helpful understanding for yourself today because now you can recognize these situations quickly
if/when they arise. If it comes to pass, your child(ren) will likely mention the situation they are finding themselves in to you and, recognizing it,
you'll be able to share some insights about unschooling that you think will be most helpful for them, and they will have more info to add to their
choice whether to participate. But there's no need for action with your kids today. :-)-=-
Good point. :-) Treat it like any other "subject." Don't teach it.
I found it extremely useful NOT to name subject areas with my kids. I didn't tell them what was history and what was science. By the time Holly was old enough to wonder, she heard more of it than Kirby ever had, but that couldn't be helped.
http://sandradodd.com/subjects
Because they weren't categorizing their interests or knowledge by history/science/math/language, they were surprised when they were older and discovered that others were. Because they didn't "know" they were learning in a whole different way, they were surprised, later, when they discovered others didn't or seemingly couldn't learn on their own what they wanted to know.
The dawning awareness that they have and can do something others can't even imagine is pretty powerful.
Once when a neighbor boy asked Marty if he was home because I didn't think he was smart enough to go to school (they were six or seven, I think), and Marty asked me with some fear and concern, I reassured him that i thought he would be doing better than Nick the neighbor, if he were in school, but that he was going to learn the same things in different ways, maybe in a different order, and in more fun ways.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]