mountainmama1010

Hello,

I am contemplating an attempt to explain unschooling to my ex-husband who has been harassing me to send him my daughter's "curriculum". He states that when he speaks with her, she says "no learning" is happening. He is pushing hard to get her back into school. He is typically very combative with me, so I'm looking for some reading materials that explain unschooling in a way that he might be open to. I have read lots and lots of information on the topic, but I just can't figure out which one or two articles/websites would be the most effective to send him.

I would love to have input from you in this regard. Have any of you shared information with ex-spouses, in-laws, or others who are unaware and seemingly not open to the concept? If so, what did you send? What was the outcome?

Thank you,

Shawn

Sandra Dodd

-=- Have any of you shared information with ex-spouses, in-laws, or others who are unaware and seemingly not open to the concept?-=-

If your ex husband has equal say in education, you might need to start off with a more structured form of homeschooling and then move toward unschooling gradually.

Or maybe you could use a form of one of these, tailored to your own daughter:
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum

There are some ideas of ways people have dealt with relatives here:
http://sandradodd.com/relatives/responding

You might find an article or blogpost by a dad that would be more persuasive than something by a mom:
http://sandradodd.com/dads

Joyce Fetteroll

On Mar 5, 2012, at 12:25 PM, mountainmama1010 wrote:

> I am contemplating an attempt to explain unschooling to my ex-husband

I wouldn't mention unschooling. I would describe what you're doing in more schooling ways that he's more likely to grasp. Like are listed at the links Sandra gave to unschooling "curriculums".

You can also start a blog to show what you're doing each day. Take lots of pictures.

Is his approach making you feel more comfortable about sending them to school? So, think about it this way: You changing his mind by trying to drag him to your understanding will work as well as him changing your mind by dragging you to his understanding.

Begin where he is, with his understanding. Ask him what would make him more comfortable. Give him what he needs to hear and see but in the form that you can do through unschooling. You won't be producing worksheets but you can show the exploring the science center, creating a worm farm (even if you have to do most of it), creating art, doing "gym" at the playground and any sports teams they might enjoy.

Joyce




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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

I think that if you write down a curriculum for him  and set up a blog for him where you can keep him posted of all the great stuff you do 
with your daughter it may help. 
Translate what she does to educationese!
 Yesterday I was searching Sandra's pages for good info on video games and on those pages  I came across several great info that may help you write down a curriculum or translate what she does so he can see it. 
Here are some of those links:|
http://sandradodd.com/game/benefits%c2%a0

 http://sandradodd.com/acme1

http://sandradodd.com/curriculum/NZ%c2%a0


Alex Polikowsky

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Andrea Q

Sometimes my husband asks the kids (age 8, 7 and 5) "What did you do today?" and then sometimes that leads to "But what did you learn today?" They will almost always tell him "nothing", when that's simply not true. It's hard to come up with an answer when he puts them on the spot. I usually make a few suggestions and then they'll start telling him things.

How old is your daughter? Since you aren't there when your ex is asking her what she's learning, can you coach her to give truthful answers that he'll like better than "nothing"? If blogging doesn't work for you (or him), could you write a list of things you do during the week to give to him at each visit?

Andrea Q

kelly_sturman

==He states that when he speaks with her, she says "no learning" is happening. He is pushing hard to get her back into school.==

And if she *were* to go to school, he might ask her, "What did you learn in school today?"

And she might answer, "Nothing."

So sending her to school might not change her response to that sort of questioning.

Kelly Sturman

Kath

--- In [email protected], "Andrea Q" <aldq75@...> wrote:
>
> Sometimes my husband asks the kids (age 8, 7 and 5) "What did you do today?" and then sometimes that leads to "But what did you learn today?" They will almost always tell him "nothing", when that's simply not true. It's hard to come up with an answer when he puts them on the spot.
>

Kids who are in school will often say the same thing when put on the spot as well. I know many kids can tell when they're supposed to come up with some big answer and they don't know exactly what it is. They can hear the underlying tone of expectation in an adult's voice, and many will refuse to play along.

Kathleen
kathmckernan@...