Video game sharing and taking turns
keetry
Hi, everyone. I've been a member of this group for several years but haven't been active for quite a while. I have a few issues surrounding my boys playing video games that I'm struggling with.
My boys fuss and fight about playing video games, who gets to go first, how often and how many turns each one gets, which games to play. They are 8 and 4.
My 8 year old doesn't want his little brother to play his video games. My 4 year old wants to play only his big brother's games. My 4 year old has some of his own games but he doesn't like to play them and is not willing to give up the fight to play his brother's games. My 8 year old will eventually let his little brother play but it's usually because he gets worn down by his younger brother rather than him really wanting to share. Are there ways to let the older one have some games all his own and have the younger one get to play some of the games without me setting the limits?
The 8 year old almost always goes first and plays longer, for obvious reasons. I don't keep a running ticker of who played what first last time or how many turns each one got. I talk to my 8 year old about how it would be nice, since he's older and bigger and all of that, to let his little brother go first sometimes, which he does but not very often.
I've also talked to them about different ways that they can figure out when to switch turns, like finishing a mission or level or after so many times of dying in the game. That works somewhat but the 4 year old invariably has longer wait times to play and shorter times of playing. Sometimes they agree to play for a certain amount of time but that doesn't work with every game depending on the purpose.
I hear from them many times a day, "It's not fair!" I have no clue how to make it fair.
We do have some two player games so they can play at the same time but one of the controllers doesn't always work. I am planning to get at least one more as soon as I can but money is really tight right now.
We also have two game systems, a PS3 and a Wii. Both of them prefer the PS3 and very rarely use the Wii.
Alysia
My boys fuss and fight about playing video games, who gets to go first, how often and how many turns each one gets, which games to play. They are 8 and 4.
My 8 year old doesn't want his little brother to play his video games. My 4 year old wants to play only his big brother's games. My 4 year old has some of his own games but he doesn't like to play them and is not willing to give up the fight to play his brother's games. My 8 year old will eventually let his little brother play but it's usually because he gets worn down by his younger brother rather than him really wanting to share. Are there ways to let the older one have some games all his own and have the younger one get to play some of the games without me setting the limits?
The 8 year old almost always goes first and plays longer, for obvious reasons. I don't keep a running ticker of who played what first last time or how many turns each one got. I talk to my 8 year old about how it would be nice, since he's older and bigger and all of that, to let his little brother go first sometimes, which he does but not very often.
I've also talked to them about different ways that they can figure out when to switch turns, like finishing a mission or level or after so many times of dying in the game. That works somewhat but the 4 year old invariably has longer wait times to play and shorter times of playing. Sometimes they agree to play for a certain amount of time but that doesn't work with every game depending on the purpose.
I hear from them many times a day, "It's not fair!" I have no clue how to make it fair.
We do have some two player games so they can play at the same time but one of the controllers doesn't always work. I am planning to get at least one more as soon as I can but money is really tight right now.
We also have two game systems, a PS3 and a Wii. Both of them prefer the PS3 and very rarely use the Wii.
Alysia
Sandra Dodd
Here are some collected ideas on sharing.
http://sandradodd.com/sharing
There MUST be other things to do in the house. Find a TV series they'd like to watch that you can get online by streaming (Or on the wii--is your Wii hooked up for wifi? If so, you can get Netflix on it, or amazon (which just added a bunch of older TV shows) or show DVDs on there without wifi.
Do you have Plants vs. Zombies on a computer? It's way less than a remote control.
Sandra
http://sandradodd.com/sharing
There MUST be other things to do in the house. Find a TV series they'd like to watch that you can get online by streaming (Or on the wii--is your Wii hooked up for wifi? If so, you can get Netflix on it, or amazon (which just added a bunch of older TV shows) or show DVDs on there without wifi.
Do you have Plants vs. Zombies on a computer? It's way less than a remote control.
Sandra
Sandra Dodd
-=-My 8 year old doesn't want his little brother to play his video games. -=-
If it's a game on which the scores and progress are saved, he wouldn't want someone else playing his game. If he can make another "player" (account on the system or the cartridge or wherever it's stored) for his brother, that might help, but in some cases (with older games, anyway) you might need another copy of it.
Ask them to help you figure it out, but meanwhile find other options. More than one other option. Be more present, more distracting, more engaging until they're no longer the age they are. As kids get older, they gain the ability to get along better, especially if they get help when they're little.
-=-My boys fuss and fight about playing video games,-=-
The phrase "fuss and fight" has probably been handed down for generations in your family. It's not the sort of heirloom to keep and use.
If you think of it another way, you might feel better right away. They're having a hard time negotiating. They need help maintaining the peace.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
If it's a game on which the scores and progress are saved, he wouldn't want someone else playing his game. If he can make another "player" (account on the system or the cartridge or wherever it's stored) for his brother, that might help, but in some cases (with older games, anyway) you might need another copy of it.
Ask them to help you figure it out, but meanwhile find other options. More than one other option. Be more present, more distracting, more engaging until they're no longer the age they are. As kids get older, they gain the ability to get along better, especially if they get help when they're little.
-=-My boys fuss and fight about playing video games,-=-
The phrase "fuss and fight" has probably been handed down for generations in your family. It's not the sort of heirloom to keep and use.
If you think of it another way, you might feel better right away. They're having a hard time negotiating. They need help maintaining the peace.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Glenda
===We do have some two player games so they can play at the same time but
one of the controllers doesn't always work. I am planning to get at
least one more as soon as I can but money is really tight right now. We also have two game systems, a PS3 and a Wii. Both of them prefer the PS3 and very rarely use the Wii.===
You could trade in the Wii and the games that go with it for store credit at GameStop (or Hastings, or whatever you have near you), and use that store credit to, at the minimum, get a second working controller for the PS3. You might have enough store credit to get a used handheld game system + a game or two for it.
Glenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
one of the controllers doesn't always work. I am planning to get at
least one more as soon as I can but money is really tight right now. We also have two game systems, a PS3 and a Wii. Both of them prefer the PS3 and very rarely use the Wii.===
You could trade in the Wii and the games that go with it for store credit at GameStop (or Hastings, or whatever you have near you), and use that store credit to, at the minimum, get a second working controller for the PS3. You might have enough store credit to get a used handheld game system + a game or two for it.
Glenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I was also going to point you towards finding more games in the computer so there are more options and the PS3 is not the only gaming device they want. Lots of great games like:
Minecraft
Roblox
Blockland
games on Nick sites and Disney sites
Games on Steam Engine ( look for sale! They can be as little as a couple dollars!)
You can even get the some of the same games on Steam as you play on PS3!!
You just need to make sure your computer can run the games.'|
Go to Can I run it?|
http://www.systemrequirementslab.com/cyri/intro.aspx%c2%a0
and enter the game name and it will tell you if your computer can run the game.
Updating Video cards and RAM memory is easy and can be pretty cheap. I
just did it on my son's computer and he can play almost any game in his computer who is decent but old and not
a gaming computer at all!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Minecraft
Roblox
Blockland
games on Nick sites and Disney sites
Games on Steam Engine ( look for sale! They can be as little as a couple dollars!)
You can even get the some of the same games on Steam as you play on PS3!!
You just need to make sure your computer can run the games.'|
Go to Can I run it?|
http://www.systemrequirementslab.com/cyri/intro.aspx%c2%a0
and enter the game name and it will tell you if your computer can run the game.
Updating Video cards and RAM memory is easy and can be pretty cheap. I
just did it on my son's computer and he can play almost any game in his computer who is decent but old and not
a gaming computer at all!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
If it's a game on which the scores and progress are saved, he wouldn't want someone else playing his game. If he can make another "player" (account on the system or the cartridge or wherever it's stored) for his brother, that might help, but in some cases (with older games, anyway) you might need another copy of it.
-=-=-=-=-=
Absolutely. I have my own account on the PS3 to play Skyrim and it is separate from my son's . That way I do not mess up his game.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-=-=-=-=
Absolutely. I have my own account on the PS3 to play Skyrim and it is separate from my son's . That way I do not mess up his game.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Glenda
===My boys fuss and fight about playing video games, who gets to go first,
how often and how many turns each one gets, which games to play. They
are 8 and 4.===
When my son was 4, he loved for me to do lots of imaginary play with him.
We'd play pet store with his stuffed animals. He'd set up the store then we'd take turns being the owner and customer.
We'd play restaurant. We went to Goodwill a couple times and he picked out a couple plates, cups, etc. that were for his restaurant. As he grew a little older (closer to your older son's age), he expanded on the imaginary play to be more of the real-deal -- he made his own menus, he could make some of the things off the menu (cheese + crackers, for example), he typed up newsletters for his restaurant, etc.
He was very into Pokemon and we spent lots of time every day playing with Pokemon action figures. We'd use some of his building toys to make castles and towers and so forth for the Pokemon, or we'd have Pokemon battles (like on the tv show & games).
On nice weather days, we'd load up a bunch of his action figures, hot wheels & bigger cars/dumptrucks/vehicles, and other toys and take them into the backyard and play with them out there.
We did indoor forts often.
He was 5 before he discovered video games, but even when he did, he still enjoyed doing the above things . . . he still enjoyed having me spend lots of time doing imaginary play with him.
Look for ways you can make life fun for him, so that video gaming isn't the only exciting thing to do at home. Set things up for you and he to play together and then *you* invite *him* -- don't wait for him to come to you, or for the fighting with his brother to start.
Glenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
how often and how many turns each one gets, which games to play. They
are 8 and 4.===
When my son was 4, he loved for me to do lots of imaginary play with him.
We'd play pet store with his stuffed animals. He'd set up the store then we'd take turns being the owner and customer.
We'd play restaurant. We went to Goodwill a couple times and he picked out a couple plates, cups, etc. that were for his restaurant. As he grew a little older (closer to your older son's age), he expanded on the imaginary play to be more of the real-deal -- he made his own menus, he could make some of the things off the menu (cheese + crackers, for example), he typed up newsletters for his restaurant, etc.
He was very into Pokemon and we spent lots of time every day playing with Pokemon action figures. We'd use some of his building toys to make castles and towers and so forth for the Pokemon, or we'd have Pokemon battles (like on the tv show & games).
On nice weather days, we'd load up a bunch of his action figures, hot wheels & bigger cars/dumptrucks/vehicles, and other toys and take them into the backyard and play with them out there.
We did indoor forts often.
He was 5 before he discovered video games, but even when he did, he still enjoyed doing the above things . . . he still enjoyed having me spend lots of time doing imaginary play with him.
Look for ways you can make life fun for him, so that video gaming isn't the only exciting thing to do at home. Set things up for you and he to play together and then *you* invite *him* -- don't wait for him to come to you, or for the fighting with his brother to start.
Glenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
keetry
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
Alysia
> If it's a game on which the scores and progress are saved, he wouldn't want someone else playing his game. If he can make another "player" (account on the system or the cartridge or wherever it's stored) for his brother, that might help, but in some cases (with older games, anyway) you might need another copy of it.We've talked about how to set it up so that one game doesn't erase the other. We've figured that out. It's more that my 8 year old wants his own things to not share.
>
> The phrase "fuss and fight" has probably been handed down for generations in your family. It's not the sort of heirloom to keep and use.Yes, it probably is a phrase that has been passed down through my family. I don't know how else to describe it. In my mind, though, I'm thinking what you've written. They need help negotiating and maintaining peace. Because of other things that have been passed down in my family, I find it hard to help them with that sometimes.
> If you think of it another way, you might feel better right away. They're having a hard time negotiating. They need help maintaining the peace.
Alysia
keetry
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
I have not hooked the Wii up to wifi, I don't think. It's very possible one of the kids has. They are way better at that sort of thing than me. I need to check on that. Of course, the PS3 is online.
It occurred to me right after posting this that I could get a few copies of the same game used so that there isn't an issue about which games are who's.
Alysia
>There are other things. I offer reading books, playing games, computer games, cooking, drawing, writing, painting and on and on. We have two computers with unlimited sources of games on them. We have Star Wars the Clone Wars, Wizard 101, nickelodeon, cartoon network, PBS, etc. It's only a matter of downloading whatever. In the moment, he's not interested. He only wants to do what his big brother is doing.
> Here are some collected ideas on sharing.
> http://sandradodd.com/sharing
>
> There MUST be other things to do in the house. Find a TV series they'd like to watch that you can get online by streaming (Or on the wii--is your Wii hooked up for wifi? If so, you can get Netflix on it, or amazon (which just added a bunch of older TV shows) or show DVDs on there without wifi.
>
> Do you have Plants vs. Zombies on a computer? It's way less than a remote control.
>
> Sandra
>
I have not hooked the Wii up to wifi, I don't think. It's very possible one of the kids has. They are way better at that sort of thing than me. I need to check on that. Of course, the PS3 is online.
It occurred to me right after posting this that I could get a few copies of the same game used so that there isn't an issue about which games are who's.
Alysia
keetry
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
My issue with this in our family is that my 8 year old is much better at negotiating than my 4 year old. So, many times, he's able to negotiate himself into playing much longer and my 4 year old is left still waiting. My 4 year old has a shorter attention span and harder time waiting so, the longer he has to wait, the harder it gets for him. It doesn't seem fair to him. I am concerned that my 4 year old is being manipulated.
But when I bring this up to my 8 year old, he goes into why it's not fair for him. He hasn't finished his mission. He always has to share his things. I get that. I would be frustrated if I was expected to stop cold turkey in the middle of accomplishing a goal to let someone else have a turn.
Alysia
>From that link: "Occasionally the first person wouldn't be finished in an hour and they'd negotiate to stay on..."
> Here are some collected ideas on sharing.
> http://sandradodd.com/sharing
My issue with this in our family is that my 8 year old is much better at negotiating than my 4 year old. So, many times, he's able to negotiate himself into playing much longer and my 4 year old is left still waiting. My 4 year old has a shorter attention span and harder time waiting so, the longer he has to wait, the harder it gets for him. It doesn't seem fair to him. I am concerned that my 4 year old is being manipulated.
But when I bring this up to my 8 year old, he goes into why it's not fair for him. He hasn't finished his mission. He always has to share his things. I get that. I would be frustrated if I was expected to stop cold turkey in the middle of accomplishing a goal to let someone else have a turn.
Alysia
Angela
I have three kids -- almost 10, almost 7, and 4 1/2 -- and our answer to the negotiated time has been this: They agree to how long they want the turns to be (they usually pick half an hour), and then 1) I try to give them warnings so they don't just start a new level at 29-and-a-half minutes, and 2) if the current player needs a little longer to finish a level or get to a good saving point, that time gets tacked on to the next player(s) turn. That seems to keep down on instances of an older child taking advantage and continuing to play for longer than nec. to get to the next good stopping point.
Also, the Wii was a gift to ME from my husband, so when my oldest gets frustrated about one of the younger kids wanting to play a game that is "his" -- given as a gift by an aunt or something -- I remind him that I'm sharing my Wii with the family and that he knows if one of his games gets scratched or something that I will figure out a way to replace it. That is usually enough for him to relax about sharing. He has invested a LOT of money in Skylanders, though, and I fully support him in not having to share that.
I gave him a DSLite (purchased used off another homeschooler for $25) for his birthday last year, and I never once asked him to share it with his siblings. But when he got an iPad from his grandparents and lost interest, I negotiated a buy-back (he charged me $12) so that it could become the "Family" DS and I bought a bunch of games for the girls so that there was another option for them if they were in the mood to play games but another kid was already on the Wii or computer.
Between the Wii, Computer, DS, and the apps on my phone (for any of the kids) or the iPad (for my son-only since it is his), there is usually enough electronic choices to keep the kids entertained while they wait their turn if they are not interested in reading with me, drawing, cooking, etc. while they wait.
Re the games that belong to your son, is there any way to negotiate a deal, like we did with the DS, so they become family games and not his sole property? I'm a big believer in not forcing sharing. But maybe if they aren't one-player games, progress-saving games, etc., he'd like to sell them to you so he could go buy something else? This works well with my son, but it definitely wouldn't work with all kids (my nephew for example really likes to "collect" his DS games and prefers to display the ones he's completed rather than sell/trade them back to the store or to a friend).
Angela in NJ
with Joseph, 9; Hannah, 6; and Miriam 4
Also, the Wii was a gift to ME from my husband, so when my oldest gets frustrated about one of the younger kids wanting to play a game that is "his" -- given as a gift by an aunt or something -- I remind him that I'm sharing my Wii with the family and that he knows if one of his games gets scratched or something that I will figure out a way to replace it. That is usually enough for him to relax about sharing. He has invested a LOT of money in Skylanders, though, and I fully support him in not having to share that.
I gave him a DSLite (purchased used off another homeschooler for $25) for his birthday last year, and I never once asked him to share it with his siblings. But when he got an iPad from his grandparents and lost interest, I negotiated a buy-back (he charged me $12) so that it could become the "Family" DS and I bought a bunch of games for the girls so that there was another option for them if they were in the mood to play games but another kid was already on the Wii or computer.
Between the Wii, Computer, DS, and the apps on my phone (for any of the kids) or the iPad (for my son-only since it is his), there is usually enough electronic choices to keep the kids entertained while they wait their turn if they are not interested in reading with me, drawing, cooking, etc. while they wait.
Re the games that belong to your son, is there any way to negotiate a deal, like we did with the DS, so they become family games and not his sole property? I'm a big believer in not forcing sharing. But maybe if they aren't one-player games, progress-saving games, etc., he'd like to sell them to you so he could go buy something else? This works well with my son, but it definitely wouldn't work with all kids (my nephew for example really likes to "collect" his DS games and prefers to display the ones he's completed rather than sell/trade them back to the store or to a friend).
Angela in NJ
with Joseph, 9; Hannah, 6; and Miriam 4
--- In [email protected], "keetry" <keetry@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@> wrote:
> >
> > Here are some collected ideas on sharing.
> > http://sandradodd.com/sharing
>
>
> From that link: "Occasionally the first person wouldn't be finished in an hour and they'd negotiate to stay on..."
>
> My issue with this in our family is that my 8 year old is much better at negotiating than my 4 year old. So, many times, he's able to negotiate himself into playing much longer and my 4 year old is left still waiting. My 4 year old has a shorter attention span and harder time waiting so, the longer he has to wait, the harder it gets for him. It doesn't seem fair to him. I am concerned that my 4 year old is being manipulated.
>
> But when I bring this up to my 8 year old, he goes into why it's not fair for him. He hasn't finished his mission. He always has to share his things. I get that. I would be frustrated if I was expected to stop cold turkey in the middle of accomplishing a goal to let someone else have a turn.
>
> Alysia
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-My issue with this in our family is that my 8 year old is much better at negotiating than my 4 year old. So, many times, he's able to negotiate himself into playing much longer and my 4 year old is left still waiting. My 4 year old has a shorter attention span and harder time waiting so, the longer he has to wait, the harder it gets for him. It doesn't seem fair to him. I am concerned that my 4 year old is being manipulated.-=-
Then let the four year old play as long as he wants to. He's not going to play that long. He has a shorter attention span.
But in no case should the one who's waiting be right there, doing nothing but waiting and bugging the other player. Get them off doing something else, being happy elsewhere instead of waiting right there.
The problem I see with measured turns is that the quality of game play is compromised. If someone sees the clock and that's when they have to stop, they won't play as thoughtfully. They're less likely to look around at the art or appreciate the music. If they're starting to read, they're less likely to take a moment to look at the text and see if they can tell what it says.
The benefits of game play will not come to full fruition if kids' time is measured that way and they're not learning to share.
If they only have an hour, they will take ALL of that hour, just as kids whose TV time is limited will.
It they can play as long as they want to, they might play for five or ten minutes and be done. I've seen it in Holly, I saw it for half an hour in Marty.
Yes, Kirby wanted it more. He was older and it was his game system and he could play better. And so in exchange for me keeping the other kids away while Kirby was playing as long as he wanted to, he let them play as long as they wanted to, which was never as long as he did.
In an attempt to "be fair," parents can be very UNfair. Children don't all need the same things for the same amount of time. Measuring with rulers and timers and charts is often shortchanging one child or another. What they could use more than that is the opportunity to decide when they're finished for their own reasons.
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics applies to time on computers, too. I don't know why Pam recommended timing computer use, but I put her recommendation on my page anyway even though I objected every time she used it. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Then let the four year old play as long as he wants to. He's not going to play that long. He has a shorter attention span.
But in no case should the one who's waiting be right there, doing nothing but waiting and bugging the other player. Get them off doing something else, being happy elsewhere instead of waiting right there.
The problem I see with measured turns is that the quality of game play is compromised. If someone sees the clock and that's when they have to stop, they won't play as thoughtfully. They're less likely to look around at the art or appreciate the music. If they're starting to read, they're less likely to take a moment to look at the text and see if they can tell what it says.
The benefits of game play will not come to full fruition if kids' time is measured that way and they're not learning to share.
If they only have an hour, they will take ALL of that hour, just as kids whose TV time is limited will.
It they can play as long as they want to, they might play for five or ten minutes and be done. I've seen it in Holly, I saw it for half an hour in Marty.
Yes, Kirby wanted it more. He was older and it was his game system and he could play better. And so in exchange for me keeping the other kids away while Kirby was playing as long as he wanted to, he let them play as long as they wanted to, which was never as long as he did.
In an attempt to "be fair," parents can be very UNfair. Children don't all need the same things for the same amount of time. Measuring with rulers and timers and charts is often shortchanging one child or another. What they could use more than that is the opportunity to decide when they're finished for their own reasons.
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics applies to time on computers, too. I don't know why Pam recommended timing computer use, but I put her recommendation on my page anyway even though I objected every time she used it. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
"keetry" <keetry@...> wrote:
Which is really understandable - the trouble with something like a video game is that it's hard to keep private, hard to have the same kinds of boundaries one would with a book or a favorite toy, which can be kept out of reach of the other child. Sharing something can set up the same kind of reactions as limiting something - when kids (or adults for that matter) feel pressured to share it makes the shared thing more valuable and the kids more likely to try to binge and hoard.
Extra copies of the same game is a good idea - some games are available in multiple formats, too, so the kids really Could play the same game at the same time on different systems. Or, as someone suggested, it might be better to trade in the Wii for another Playstation, since that's the prefered system and have duplicates of games.
It might help to see each game the way you would a bicycle - you wouldn't really expect siblings to share a bike, and it seems pretty reasonable that the younger sibling would want the exact same bike as the elder And want to ride it at the same time as the elder. It's no fun (for some) to watch someone else ride when you're stuck on the sidelines - and no fair to have your "turn" limited by the fact that you're younger and less adept with the wonderful, magical thing.
---Meredith
>> We've talked about how to set it up so that one game doesn't erase the other. We've figured that out. It's more that my 8 year old wants his own things to not share.**************
Which is really understandable - the trouble with something like a video game is that it's hard to keep private, hard to have the same kinds of boundaries one would with a book or a favorite toy, which can be kept out of reach of the other child. Sharing something can set up the same kind of reactions as limiting something - when kids (or adults for that matter) feel pressured to share it makes the shared thing more valuable and the kids more likely to try to binge and hoard.
Extra copies of the same game is a good idea - some games are available in multiple formats, too, so the kids really Could play the same game at the same time on different systems. Or, as someone suggested, it might be better to trade in the Wii for another Playstation, since that's the prefered system and have duplicates of games.
It might help to see each game the way you would a bicycle - you wouldn't really expect siblings to share a bike, and it seems pretty reasonable that the younger sibling would want the exact same bike as the elder And want to ride it at the same time as the elder. It's no fun (for some) to watch someone else ride when you're stuck on the sidelines - and no fair to have your "turn" limited by the fact that you're younger and less adept with the wonderful, magical thing.
---Meredith
keetry
We talked about trading in the Wii but they don't want to do that. They like it for the movement games like Just Dance and Wii Fit. I'd like to get the thingie for the PS3 that allows for those movement games, too, one day...
They both have handheld game systems. My 8 year old has a DSi and my 4 year old has one for his age. It doesn't work very well and the games aren't as exciting so he would rather use the DSi. I'm planning to get him one for his birthday in June.
They pooled their money together today and got a new controller and 2 player game. Since they both payed half, both the controller and the game are something to share.
Alysia
They both have handheld game systems. My 8 year old has a DSi and my 4 year old has one for his age. It doesn't work very well and the games aren't as exciting so he would rather use the DSi. I'm planning to get him one for his birthday in June.
They pooled their money together today and got a new controller and 2 player game. Since they both payed half, both the controller and the game are something to share.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], Glenda <wtexans@...> wrote:
>
> ===We do have some two player games so they can play at the same time but
> one of the controllers doesn't always work. I am planning to get at
> least one more as soon as I can but money is really tight right now. We also have two game systems, a PS3 and a Wii. Both of them prefer the PS3 and very rarely use the Wii.===
>
> You could trade in the Wii and the games that go with it for store credit at GameStop (or Hastings, or whatever you have near you), and use that store credit to, at the minimum, get a second working controller for the PS3. You might have enough store credit to get a used handheld game system + a game or two for it.
>
>
> Glenda
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Robin Bentley
> We talked about trading in the Wii but they don't want to do that.Is it a financial issue, then, that you can't get the 4 year old a DSi
> They like it for the movement games like Just Dance and Wii Fit. I'd
> like to get the thingie for the PS3 that allows for those movement
> games, too, one day...
>
> They both have handheld game systems. My 8 year old has a DSi and my
> 4 year old has one for his age. It doesn't work very well and the
> games aren't as exciting so he would rather use the DSi. I'm
> planning to get him one for his birthday in June.
until 5 months from now?
>It appears that money and ownership and sharing is all mixed up. Will
> They pooled their money together today and got a new controller and
> 2 player game. Since they both payed half, both the controller and
> the game are something to share.
they share, in that case? Does the 4 year old really understand the
complex thinking about pooling resources and what that can mean (or
does mean in your home)?
Why do they have to "pool their money" to get something? Why couldn't
you make up the difference to buy something for the 4 year old only?
Or borrow the money from the 8 year old?
It seems like this is a set-up to make the kids understand *why* you
think they should share, i.e. if you both pay the same amount of money
for something, you *must* share it?
I could be wrong. Maybe I'm just not understanding what your
expectations are.
Robin B.
keetry
it is a financial issue right now. a DSi is expensive so we have to save for it. so are all the games that go with all the game systems. i don't want to buy any of them used because it's hit or miss whether they will work well. we've done that in the past and had things break too soon or just not work properly. and, usually, when you buy something used the return or exchange policies are more restrictive. plus, the particular games they want cannot always be found used or on sale.
they pooled their money because neither one had enough to pay for the game themselves and they both wanted the same game. it's part of a series in the game that my 8 year old got for his birthday. yes, the expectation is that they will share this game since they both paid for it. the other games they've gotten were gifts to one or the other and my 8 year old is very possessive of his. so far, they have been sharing and taking turns more with both games.
I'm not understanding your question about money and ownership and sharing. If one of them gets something as a gift or spends his own money on something, it is his. He owns it. He can decide whether to share it or not.
If I or my husband buys something for the family, there is no individual ownership. It's for everyone and everyone gets to use it. There might be issues around how and when to share it but everyone is equally entitled to use it.
I don't know what you think the 4 year old won't understand. He saw that he and his brother both paid the same amount for the game and neither one has claimed that particular game for himself.
I wasn't trying to set anything up. They both wanted that particular game, but neither one had enough money for it on his own. I suggested that if they each paid half, they could buy it. I also explained that, if they did that, neither one could claim individual ownership and tell the other he can't play it.
Alysia
they pooled their money because neither one had enough to pay for the game themselves and they both wanted the same game. it's part of a series in the game that my 8 year old got for his birthday. yes, the expectation is that they will share this game since they both paid for it. the other games they've gotten were gifts to one or the other and my 8 year old is very possessive of his. so far, they have been sharing and taking turns more with both games.
I'm not understanding your question about money and ownership and sharing. If one of them gets something as a gift or spends his own money on something, it is his. He owns it. He can decide whether to share it or not.
If I or my husband buys something for the family, there is no individual ownership. It's for everyone and everyone gets to use it. There might be issues around how and when to share it but everyone is equally entitled to use it.
I don't know what you think the 4 year old won't understand. He saw that he and his brother both paid the same amount for the game and neither one has claimed that particular game for himself.
I wasn't trying to set anything up. They both wanted that particular game, but neither one had enough money for it on his own. I suggested that if they each paid half, they could buy it. I also explained that, if they did that, neither one could claim individual ownership and tell the other he can't play it.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], Robin Bentley <robin.bentley@...> wrote:
>
>
> Is it a financial issue, then, that you can't get the 4 year old a DSi
> until 5 months from now?
> >
>
>
> It appears that money and ownership and sharing is all mixed up. Will
> they share, in that case? Does the 4 year old really understand the
> complex thinking about pooling resources and what that can mean (or
> does mean in your home)?
>
> Why do they have to "pool their money" to get something? Why couldn't
> you make up the difference to buy something for the 4 year old only?
> Or borrow the money from the 8 year old?
>
> It seems like this is a set-up to make the kids understand *why* you
> think they should share, i.e. if you both pay the same amount of money
> for something, you *must* share it?
>
> I could be wrong. Maybe I'm just not understanding what your
> expectations are.
>
> Robin B.
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-I don't know what you think the 4 year old won't understand. He saw that he and his brother both paid the same amount for the game and neither one has claimed that particular game for himself.
-=-I wasn't trying to set anything up. They both wanted that particular game, but neither one had enough money for it on his own. I suggested that if they each paid half, they could buy it. I also explained that, if they did that, neither one could claim individual ownership and tell the other he can't play it.-=-
You're thinking a four year old understands that as well as anyone else?
A four year old can hardly think three days ahead.
If you're not realistic about what a child can understand, that will not make you a good partner to him. And speaking of partners, it should be more important that he gets to play games and do things than that he understands ownership right now.
http://sandradodd.com/partners
There are other child development lists. Erikson and others. But there's to much risk to relationships and to peace if the mom is expecting too much of children.
http://sandradodd.com/piaget
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-I wasn't trying to set anything up. They both wanted that particular game, but neither one had enough money for it on his own. I suggested that if they each paid half, they could buy it. I also explained that, if they did that, neither one could claim individual ownership and tell the other he can't play it.-=-
You're thinking a four year old understands that as well as anyone else?
A four year old can hardly think three days ahead.
If you're not realistic about what a child can understand, that will not make you a good partner to him. And speaking of partners, it should be more important that he gets to play games and do things than that he understands ownership right now.
http://sandradodd.com/partners
There are other child development lists. Erikson and others. But there's to much risk to relationships and to peace if the mom is expecting too much of children.
http://sandradodd.com/piaget
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]