Sandra Dodd

I don't know the people personally, but a homeschooling mom posted on facebook that it was eleven years to the day since she first knew ...

just realised it's exactly 11 years since we found out about home education being a legal, viable alternative to school- found out on a Friday.... [kids didn't go to school on] Monday!
Never looked back. No regrets-not a single one!

Yah for all those who have given us support and encouragement over the years
thank you!
---------------

Someone's response was:

You have repaid any support given to you a hundred times over [name]. You don't need to be thanking anyone.

-------------

Schuyler wrote on facebook something I'm going to quote on Just Add Light:

Schuyler Waynforth
is happy to see her life as a continuing series of choices and not a path strewn with imperatives. Her world view is so shaped by that perspective it is jarring to come across people who are certain that much of what people do is what they have to do with very little choice in it.
---------------

The first response she got was "Enjoy your fantasy Schuyler. ;-)"
----------------

That second guy got responses (gentle but definite defense of Schuyler).

I considered writing to/about the first one (also a male person) but I don't know either person and for all I know he's her husband, but I hope she'll say something about the negativity.

People do this without thinking. It's a kind of cynicism that wants to bring down happiness. It's a blanket "no big deal." Beautiful memories of positive life changes, gratitude and joy in the realization that life is full or choices ARE big deals, though. Lives were changed beyond that person, and beyond that person's family.

I wouldn't let anyone tell me not to be grateful for information that helped me be clearer and find choices. I'm still grateful to my fourth grade teacher, Miss Gonzales, to my first grade teacher Miss Tomlinson, to Mr. Martinez my English teacher in 8th and 9th grade,, and others, and I say so when the things come up that they helped me with. My life is better because of Carol Rice and Lori Odhner (by first two La Leche League Leaders) and I say so, because it's true. It doesn't matter to my gratitude that Lori's kids ended up in church schools because her husband was a minister It doesn't matter than Carol denounced unschooling one time, perhaps because her husband was being negative about it; her kids still grew up without school. (Each of the girls went for one year, because they wanted to--one to check it out, and one to go to the arts high school to dance--and went back home after the year was out. One of the girls got a college degree, one of the boys is a Marine.)

Perhaps I have repaid enough not to be grateful? Perhaps I've thanked them enough I don't need to thank anyone anymore?

Because of what Carol and Lori did and said, I was a better mother to babies, and when I figured out that they were both unschooling without a curriculum, in a continuation of the same way they were treating their babies and toddlers, I saw it for the John-Holt/open-classroom/learning-in-the-real-world it was, and so I took one gentle step into unschooling, when Kirby was nearly five. Because of them. I'm grateful, still.

Gratitude is good for the soul, for the spirit, for the mind, for the heart.
Negativity and discouragement spiral down a hole.

Perhaps one of those was an awkward statement of support and praise. Probably the other was "just a joke." When you hear or read something pure and joyful, maybe just bask in it, or add to it. Please try to think and make a choice, though, about whether to respond or to be quietly grateful that someone is courageous enough to express joy in a dangerously negative world.

Sandra

Schuyler

>>The first response she got was "Enjoy your fantasy Schuyler. ;-)"<<

I actually relished Paul's comment, not because it was anything good or valuable, but it was this man I knew only as a young man and him reaching out to nudge me was a sweet thing from my teen years. I can almost hear his wanting to be jaded self saying it. 


Maybe that's the kind of choices you're talking about. I can choose to see the joy even in someone else's less than joyful comment.


Schuyler

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dola Dasgupta

I was touched by this mail...and I often recall and narrate the day when I
first walked into Urmila and John Samson's home in Pune, India (probably
the oldest unschoolers here)..I had already taken my daughter out of school
and learning with curriculum was not working for us and I was looking for
alternatives.

Urmila asked me "Are you homeschooling or unschooling?" and I said
"well....."

Then she kind of told a bit about unschooling.

I came back to our hometown and looked up unschooling and I was on Sandra's
website...

I have never since looked back and am grateful to Urmila, John and
Sandra....

Dola

On Wed, Jan 11, 2012 at 8:04 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

> **
>
>
> I don't know the people personally, but a homeschooling mom posted on
> facebook that it was eleven years to the day since she first knew ...
>
> just realised it's exactly 11 years since we found out about home
> education being a legal, viable alternative to school- found out on a
> Friday.... [kids didn't go to school on] Monday!
> Never looked back. No regrets-not a single one!
>
> Yah for all those who have given us support and encouragement over the
> years
> thank you!
> ---------------
>
> Someone's response was:
>
> You have repaid any support given to you a hundred times over [name]. You
> don't need to be thanking anyone.
>
> -------------
>
> Schuyler wrote on facebook something I'm going to quote on Just Add Light:
>
> Schuyler Waynforth
> is happy to see her life as a continuing series of choices and not a path
> strewn with imperatives. Her world view is so shaped by that perspective it
> is jarring to come across people who are certain that much of what people
> do is what they have to do with very little choice in it.
> ---------------
>
> The first response she got was "Enjoy your fantasy Schuyler. ;-)"
> ----------------
>
> That second guy got responses (gentle but definite defense of Schuyler).
>
> I considered writing to/about the first one (also a male person) but I
> don't know either person and for all I know he's her husband, but I hope
> she'll say something about the negativity.
>
> People do this without thinking. It's a kind of cynicism that wants to
> bring down happiness. It's a blanket "no big deal." Beautiful memories of
> positive life changes, gratitude and joy in the realization that life is
> full or choices ARE big deals, though. Lives were changed beyond that
> person, and beyond that person's family.
>
> I wouldn't let anyone tell me not to be grateful for information that
> helped me be clearer and find choices. I'm still grateful to my fourth
> grade teacher, Miss Gonzales, to my first grade teacher Miss Tomlinson, to
> Mr. Martinez my English teacher in 8th and 9th grade,, and others, and I
> say so when the things come up that they helped me with. My life is better
> because of Carol Rice and Lori Odhner (by first two La Leche League
> Leaders) and I say so, because it's true. It doesn't matter to my gratitude
> that Lori's kids ended up in church schools because her husband was a
> minister It doesn't matter than Carol denounced unschooling one time,
> perhaps because her husband was being negative about it; her kids still
> grew up without school. (Each of the girls went for one year, because they
> wanted to--one to check it out, and one to go to the arts high school to
> dance--and went back home after the year was out. One of the girls got a
> college degree, one of the boys is a Marine.)
>
> Perhaps I have repaid enough not to be grateful? Perhaps I've thanked them
> enough I don't need to thank anyone anymore?
>
> Because of what Carol and Lori did and said, I was a better mother to
> babies, and when I figured out that they were both unschooling without a
> curriculum, in a continuation of the same way they were treating their
> babies and toddlers, I saw it for the
> John-Holt/open-classroom/learning-in-the-real-world it was, and so I took
> one gentle step into unschooling, when Kirby was nearly five. Because of
> them. I'm grateful, still.
>
> Gratitude is good for the soul, for the spirit, for the mind, for the
> heart.
> Negativity and discouragement spiral down a hole.
>
> Perhaps one of those was an awkward statement of support and praise.
> Probably the other was "just a joke." When you hear or read something pure
> and joyful, maybe just bask in it, or add to it. Please try to think and
> make a choice, though, about whether to respond or to be quietly grateful
> that someone is courageous enough to express joy in a dangerously negative
> world.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>



--
thou-art-thy-creator
http://thouartthycreator.wordpress.com/

*"Be kind to yourself and others,*
*Come from love every moment you can,*
*Speak of love with others. Remind each other of your spiritual purpose,*
*Never give up hope,*
*Know that you are loved." - Deepak Chopra from Love Sutras...*
*
*
*'Laughter we share generates more laughter, and the love we create
together spreads by leaps and bounds.' *
*
*
*Much love and warmth*
* Dola Dasgupta*


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-Maybe that's the kind of choices you're talking about. I can choose to see the joy even in someone else's less than joyful comment. -=-

Yeah, because you're awesome. :-)

I could tell he was being friendly, but it still was like sprinkling dirt on cake. And if you knew him since you were kids, he MIGHT have been in dirt-on-cake mode. :-)

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

annavblack99

I was thinking about this only this morning, not ten minutes ago, before I read this post. I was thinking about it in relation to the nastiness of the 'useless' feedback Sandra posted earlier.

I am so grateful to have found unschooling and this list while my kids are still young enough for me to undo the damage of some of the fear-based controlling I did around food and tv in particular. Actually, control generally, feeling I had to be in charge, boundaries, consistency, or everything would be ruined.

So much fear and worry that things would go wrong, that she'd never eat, or sleep or use the toilet *properly* unless I did everything perfectly with no compromises and no retreating.

I remember reading on gentle parenting forums, 'don't worry about it, s/he'll do it when s/he's ready, no point in pushing it.' and feeling so superior. Yes, I would think, but you haven't seen the kids that I've seen who won't eat anything but purees at five, or who are still in nappies at four. You have to get on this stuff, or look what might happen! I was also very into independence, natural/logical consequences and NVC.

Now I think, so what? Is my child happy, healthy, connected? Are we moving towards partnership? Are we having fun right now, at this moment? Am I treating my children as well or better as I would treat my husband or my friend? If yes, great. If not, change, make a different choice.

I still have a long way to go. Still plenty of fear and irritation and bad choices made. But less. Every day a bit less. And for that I thank Sandra, Joyce, Schulyer, Meredith, Connie, Brie, Pam and all the wise women on this list.


--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> I don't know the people personally, but a homeschooling mom posted on facebook that it was eleven years to the day since she first knew ...
>
> just realised it's exactly 11 years since we found out about home education being a legal, viable alternative to school- found out on a Friday.... [kids didn't go to school on] Monday!
> Never looked back. No regrets-not a single one!
>
> Yah for all those who have given us support and encouragement over the years
> thank you!
> ---------------
>
> Someone's response was:
>
> You have repaid any support given to you a hundred times over [name]. You don't need to be thanking anyone.
>
> -------------
>
> Schuyler wrote on facebook something I'm going to quote on Just Add Light:
>
> Schuyler Waynforth
> is happy to see her life as a continuing series of choices and not a path strewn with imperatives. Her world view is so shaped by that perspective it is jarring to come across people who are certain that much of what people do is what they have to do with very little choice in it.
> ---------------
>
> The first response she got was "Enjoy your fantasy Schuyler. ;-)"
> ----------------
>
> That second guy got responses (gentle but definite defense of Schuyler).
>
> I considered writing to/about the first one (also a male person) but I don't know either person and for all I know he's her husband, but I hope she'll say something about the negativity.
>
> People do this without thinking. It's a kind of cynicism that wants to bring down happiness. It's a blanket "no big deal." Beautiful memories of positive life changes, gratitude and joy in the realization that life is full or choices ARE big deals, though. Lives were changed beyond that person, and beyond that person's family.
>
> I wouldn't let anyone tell me not to be grateful for information that helped me be clearer and find choices. I'm still grateful to my fourth grade teacher, Miss Gonzales, to my first grade teacher Miss Tomlinson, to Mr. Martinez my English teacher in 8th and 9th grade,, and others, and I say so when the things come up that they helped me with. My life is better because of Carol Rice and Lori Odhner (by first two La Leche League Leaders) and I say so, because it's true. It doesn't matter to my gratitude that Lori's kids ended up in church schools because her husband was a minister It doesn't matter than Carol denounced unschooling one time, perhaps because her husband was being negative about it; her kids still grew up without school. (Each of the girls went for one year, because they wanted to--one to check it out, and one to go to the arts high school to dance--and went back home after the year was out. One of the girls got a college degree, one of the boys is a Marine.)
>
> Perhaps I have repaid enough not to be grateful? Perhaps I've thanked them enough I don't need to thank anyone anymore?
>
> Because of what Carol and Lori did and said, I was a better mother to babies, and when I figured out that they were both unschooling without a curriculum, in a continuation of the same way they were treating their babies and toddlers, I saw it for the John-Holt/open-classroom/learning-in-the-real-world it was, and so I took one gentle step into unschooling, when Kirby was nearly five. Because of them. I'm grateful, still.
>
> Gratitude is good for the soul, for the spirit, for the mind, for the heart.
> Negativity and discouragement spiral down a hole.
>
> Perhaps one of those was an awkward statement of support and praise. Probably the other was "just a joke." When you hear or read something pure and joyful, maybe just bask in it, or add to it. Please try to think and make a choice, though, about whether to respond or to be quietly grateful that someone is courageous enough to express joy in a dangerously negative world.
>
> Sandra
>
F

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
express joy in a dangerously negative world.
>
> Sandra
>