Extended breastfeeding
brandi yates
I have four kids. I breastfed all of them until about 2. Right now I am
breastfeeding my 18 month old. I was asked by my mom and my sil "Are you
STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" and that was it. I
think it was all they said but it has been bothering me. I didnt have a
reply to their comment. I only said "If I have another I probably wont
breastfeed but I cant have anymore kids"... ( I said that because I think
breastfeeding is a commitment and I wouldnt just abruptly take away her
favorite thing)
Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was. I can
only assume that they think I am still breastfeeding for my own reasons not
because my baby wants to breastfeed.
I think it is such a personal matter. I would never question another
mom's decisions on something like this.
I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had
terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up
and now Im starting to get depressed again.
I know I should have more confidence and maybe I should go to some lll
meetings.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
breastfeeding my 18 month old. I was asked by my mom and my sil "Are you
STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" and that was it. I
think it was all they said but it has been bothering me. I didnt have a
reply to their comment. I only said "If I have another I probably wont
breastfeed but I cant have anymore kids"... ( I said that because I think
breastfeeding is a commitment and I wouldnt just abruptly take away her
favorite thing)
Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was. I can
only assume that they think I am still breastfeeding for my own reasons not
because my baby wants to breastfeed.
I think it is such a personal matter. I would never question another
mom's decisions on something like this.
I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had
terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up
and now Im starting to get depressed again.
I know I should have more confidence and maybe I should go to some lll
meetings.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kristen
Maybe they asked a question because they were interested in knowing the answer. Most women who nurse choose to ween their children earlier than 18 months. Perhaps they simply wondered why you choose to nurse longer.
Does their opinion affect your desire to have that connection with your baby?
Even if the question was meant to be a criticism just remember that you nursing your child has very little to do with anyone but you and your child.
Like you said, it's a personal matter.
Kristen
Does their opinion affect your desire to have that connection with your baby?
Even if the question was meant to be a criticism just remember that you nursing your child has very little to do with anyone but you and your child.
Like you said, it's a personal matter.
Kristen
--- In [email protected], brandi yates <brandi.yates@...> wrote:
>
> I have four kids. I breastfed all of them until about 2. Right now I am
> breastfeeding my 18 month old. I was asked by my mom and my sil "Are you
> STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" and that was it. I
> think it was all they said but it has been bothering me. I didnt have a
> reply to their comment. I only said "If I have another I probably wont
> breastfeed but I cant have anymore kids"... ( I said that because I think
> breastfeeding is a commitment and I wouldnt just abruptly take away her
> favorite thing)
>
>
> Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
> why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was. I can
> only assume that they think I am still breastfeeding for my own reasons not
> because my baby wants to breastfeed.
>
> I think it is such a personal matter. I would never question another
> mom's decisions on something like this.
>
> I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had
> terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up
> and now Im starting to get depressed again.
>
> I know I should have more confidence and maybe I should go to some lll
> meetings.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Brandi I think that is is a good idea to go to some LaLeche Meetings.
If you have already breastfed the other three kids until they were 2 why are you feeling that way?
I have breastfed both my kids until they were 5. If asked I would give one funny answer like:|
They will stop when they go to College
They will be done in a couple of minutes
Or get some ideas like from sites like this:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html
which has lots of awesome information and even funny comebacks on their links!
Why would a question from your mom and sister, of something you have already done 3 times, make you get depressed?|
If you are feeling depressed get some kind of help.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
If you have already breastfed the other three kids until they were 2 why are you feeling that way?
I have breastfed both my kids until they were 5. If asked I would give one funny answer like:|
They will stop when they go to College
They will be done in a couple of minutes
Or get some ideas like from sites like this:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html
which has lots of awesome information and even funny comebacks on their links!
Why would a question from your mom and sister, of something you have already done 3 times, make you get depressed?|
If you are feeling depressed get some kind of help.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christine Fraser
Yes, Le Leche League would be wonderful for you. A group of women to support you and remind you of the so many great things of nursing. Maybe they are asking if you're still nursing because it has seemed like a long time to them, this being the 4th one and maybe you haven't really been able to stop in between children. I know many who are just amazed at that. i commend all mothers who have dedicated themselves so unselfishly
Christine
Christine
--- On Sun, 1/8/12, Kristen <goldfish_add@...> wrote:
From: Kristen <goldfish_add@...>
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Extended breastfeeding
To: [email protected]
Date: Sunday, January 8, 2012, 10:28 PM
Maybe they asked a question because they were interested in knowing the answer. Most women who nurse choose to ween their children earlier than 18 months. Perhaps they simply wondered why you choose to nurse longer.
Does their opinion affect your desire to have that connection with your baby?
Even if the question was meant to be a criticism just remember that you nursing your child has very little to do with anyone but you and your child.
Like you said, it's a personal matter.
Kristen
--- In [email protected], brandi yates <brandi.yates@...> wrote:
>
> I have four kids. I breastfed all of them until about 2. Right now I am
> breastfeeding my 18 month old. I was asked by my mom and my sil "Are you
> STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" and that was it. I
> think it was all they said but it has been bothering me. I didnt have a
> reply to their comment. I only said "If I have another I probably wont
> breastfeed but I cant have anymore kids"... ( I said that because I think
> breastfeeding is a commitment and I wouldnt just abruptly take away her
> favorite thing)
>
>
> Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
> why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was. I can
> only assume that they think I am still breastfeeding for my own reasons not
> because my baby wants to breastfeed.
>
> I think it is such a personal matter. I would never question another
> mom's decisions on something like this.
>
> I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had
> terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up
> and now Im starting to get depressed again.
>
> I know I should have more confidence and maybe I should go to some lll
> meetings.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
chris ester
I wanted to chime in with everyone else, go to some la leche meetings.
They are wonderful and supportive.
As to the ppd, remember to take care of you. Get support, find someone to
help out or listen or whatever you need.
I don't want to nit-pick, but it almost sounded like you are feeling guilty
about feeling guilty...
Take a deep breath, and smile. You have 4 beautiful children and you are
doing the best you know for them. You have made a conscious decision to
put your children's happiness at the center of your family life. That
alone makes you a good mom.
And remember, there really isn't perfection, only progress.
Chris
They are wonderful and supportive.
As to the ppd, remember to take care of you. Get support, find someone to
help out or listen or whatever you need.
I don't want to nit-pick, but it almost sounded like you are feeling guilty
about feeling guilty...
Take a deep breath, and smile. You have 4 beautiful children and you are
doing the best you know for them. You have made a conscious decision to
put your children's happiness at the center of your family life. That
alone makes you a good mom.
And remember, there really isn't perfection, only progress.
Chris
On Sun, Jan 8, 2012 at 8:44 PM, brandi yates <brandi.yates@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
> I have four kids. I breastfed all of them until about 2. Right now I am
> breastfeeding my 18 month old. I was asked by my mom and my sil "Are you
> STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" and that was it. I
> think it was all they said but it has been bothering me. I didnt have a
> reply to their comment. I only said "If I have another I probably wont
> breastfeed but I cant have anymore kids"... ( I said that because I think
> breastfeeding is a commitment and I wouldnt just abruptly take away her
> favorite thing)
>
> Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
> why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was. I can
> only assume that they think I am still breastfeeding for my own reasons not
> because my baby wants to breastfeed.
>
> I think it is such a personal matter. I would never question another
> mom's decisions on something like this.
>
> I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had
> terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up
> and now Im starting to get depressed again.
>
> I know I should have more confidence and maybe I should go to some lll
> meetings.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
apprentice_mom
Well, I seem to be the only one, but my kids were always so demanding of my undivided attention (and, they never napped or slept longer than an hour at a time) that there was just no way I could ever attend a LLL meeting, which are always in the evenings where I am. I nursed one child to 5 and the other to 3, when they self-weaned around the same time. I read Mothering Your Nursing Toddler, a wonderful book by one of the LLL founders, when my oldest was 2 and I started to get "the question" from people around me. I'm surprised people don't recommend this lovely little book more often. I'm sure an LLL group in person can be a great experience for some people, but if that is not an option (or just not your thing), try that book instead. One of the things I loved as a polite response, rather than the funny or off-the-cuff response, was (if your child is eating ANY solid foods) to just say, "we are in the process of weaning" - if your child is eating any solids, then technically, that is true. You don't have to say how long it might take, and, it puts an end to the questions. :)
Justine:)
Justine:)
--- In [email protected], chris ester <chris.homeschool@...> wrote:
>
> I wanted to chime in with everyone else, go to some la leche meetings.
> They are wonderful and supportive.
>
> As to the ppd, remember to take care of you. Get support, find someone to
> help out or listen or whatever you need.
>
> I don't want to nit-pick, but it almost sounded like you are feeling guilty
> about feeling guilty...
>
> Take a deep breath, and smile. You have 4 beautiful children and you are
> doing the best you know for them. You have made a conscious decision to
> put your children's happiness at the center of your family life. That
> alone makes you a good mom.
>
> And remember, there really isn't perfection, only progress.
> Chris
>
> On Sun, Jan 8, 2012 at 8:44 PM, brandi yates <brandi.yates@...> wrote:
>
> > **
> >
> >
> > I have four kids. I breastfed all of them until about 2. Right now I am
> > breastfeeding my 18 month old. I was asked by my mom and my sil "Are you
> > STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" and that was it. I
> > think it was all they said but it has been bothering me. I didnt have a
> > reply to their comment. I only said "If I have another I probably wont
> > breastfeed but I cant have anymore kids"... ( I said that because I think
> > breastfeeding is a commitment and I wouldnt just abruptly take away her
> > favorite thing)
> >
> > Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
> > why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was. I can
> > only assume that they think I am still breastfeeding for my own reasons not
> > because my baby wants to breastfeed.
> >
> > I think it is such a personal matter. I would never question another
> > mom's decisions on something like this.
> >
> > I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had
> > terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up
> > and now Im starting to get depressed again.
> >
> > I know I should have more confidence and maybe I should go to some lll
> > meetings.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
> >
> >
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Rippy Dusseldorp
-=- "Are you STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" -=-
Sometimes when I was asked that question and felt uncomfortable around the person asking, I would answer that I intend to do it for at least 2 years, as recommended by the World Health Organization.
http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/
Rippy
Sometimes when I was asked that question and felt uncomfortable around the person asking, I would answer that I intend to do it for at least 2 years, as recommended by the World Health Organization.
http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/
Rippy
stefanie stringfellow
I always told people that was a personal decision between mother and baby. Raise your eyebrows and say "I'm sorry, but that is a personal decision both my child and I will make!" Sound very fake, it helps get the point of their stupidity across to them.
Blessings,
Stefanie
Who nursed and was pregnant, sometimes both for over 10 years, lol!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Blessings,
Stefanie
Who nursed and was pregnant, sometimes both for over 10 years, lol!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Angela
you said:
But also because the leaders will be able to recommend resources for dealing with the postpartum depression. I think this is much more about the PPD than anything anyone said to you. (Not to diminish how comments like that can erode anyone's self confidence and resolve, however!)
Most people don't know that PPD can be triggered by *any* hormonal shifts following the birth of a child and that can be as late as return of ovulation/menses or the start of weaning. So, if you haven't had your period since the birth of your child, maybe it's about to return. Or maybe your active toddler is suddenly nursing less and it's caused your hormones to dip/soar. Or maybe your PPD was never fully addressed 18 months ago and it's just been lying under the surface.
You know logically you are doing what's best for you and your child -- you've done it before! (-: Now you need to surround yourself with support and take care of your own health so that you can continue to be an amazing mother to your children.
Best,
Angela in NJ
>> Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks.<<and
>> I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up and now Im starting to get depressed again.<<Definitely get yourself to some La Leche League meetings because you need to surround yourself with support, and that will be the best place to find support for nursing toddlers.
But also because the leaders will be able to recommend resources for dealing with the postpartum depression. I think this is much more about the PPD than anything anyone said to you. (Not to diminish how comments like that can erode anyone's self confidence and resolve, however!)
Most people don't know that PPD can be triggered by *any* hormonal shifts following the birth of a child and that can be as late as return of ovulation/menses or the start of weaning. So, if you haven't had your period since the birth of your child, maybe it's about to return. Or maybe your active toddler is suddenly nursing less and it's caused your hormones to dip/soar. Or maybe your PPD was never fully addressed 18 months ago and it's just been lying under the surface.
You know logically you are doing what's best for you and your child -- you've done it before! (-: Now you need to surround yourself with support and take care of your own health so that you can continue to be an amazing mother to your children.
Best,
Angela in NJ
Rippy Dusseldorp
-=- "Are you STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" -=-
Sometimes when I was asked that question and felt uncomfortable around the person asking, I would answer that I intend to do it for at least 2 years, as recommended by the World Health Organization.
http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/
Rippy
Sometimes when I was asked that question and felt uncomfortable around the person asking, I would answer that I intend to do it for at least 2 years, as recommended by the World Health Organization.
http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/
Rippy
chris ester
It has been a lot of years since I have breastfed, but when I was
struggling with breastfeeding my low birth weight preemie there was a
hotline that put me in touch with a wonderful woman who was really
helpful. I never met with her because I didn't have transport at the time,
but I got a lot of phone support. They have a website that may provide
help to you in your area.
http://www.llli.org/
Chris
struggling with breastfeeding my low birth weight preemie there was a
hotline that put me in touch with a wonderful woman who was really
helpful. I never met with her because I didn't have transport at the time,
but I got a lot of phone support. They have a website that may provide
help to you in your area.
http://www.llli.org/
Chris
On Mon, Jan 9, 2012 at 2:28 AM, apprentice_mom <justine@...>wrote:
> **
>
>
> @@@@Well, I seem to be the only one, but my kids were always so demanding
> of my undivided attention (and, they never napped or slept longer than an
> hour at a time) that there was just no way I could ever attend a LLL
> meeting, which are always in the evenings where I am.@@@@
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
annavblack99
Ha! 18 months? My nearly five year old still has the odd breastfeed when she's very tired. My two year old feeds several times a day.
Maybe they were just interested? It seems odd that they'd be critical if they know you've already breastfed three children until they were two? My dad would occasionally ask if I was going to wean Abi, especially when I was pregnant with Evie, but not in a nasty way, just because in his experience it is very unusual for women to breastfeed past 9 months or so.
My standard answer to the 'how long?' question is 'as long as she wants.'. There aren't any further questions usually, but if there are I just shrug and say 'we'll see.'
I'm in Australia and we have the Australian Breastfeeding Association which has great online forums for support as well as in person groups. I'm sure the LLL would be similar so I encourage you to access them, at least online.
Oh, and it's 'full-term' not 'extended' breastfeeding! Just gives a different slant.
Anna, mother of
Abigail, nearly five
Evangeline, just turned two
Maybe they were just interested? It seems odd that they'd be critical if they know you've already breastfed three children until they were two? My dad would occasionally ask if I was going to wean Abi, especially when I was pregnant with Evie, but not in a nasty way, just because in his experience it is very unusual for women to breastfeed past 9 months or so.
My standard answer to the 'how long?' question is 'as long as she wants.'. There aren't any further questions usually, but if there are I just shrug and say 'we'll see.'
I'm in Australia and we have the Australian Breastfeeding Association which has great online forums for support as well as in person groups. I'm sure the LLL would be similar so I encourage you to access them, at least online.
Oh, and it's 'full-term' not 'extended' breastfeeding! Just gives a different slant.
Anna, mother of
Abigail, nearly five
Evangeline, just turned two
--- In [email protected], brandi yates <brandi.yates@...> wrote:
>
> I have four kids. I breastfed all of them until about 2. Right now I am
> breastfeeding my 18 month old. I was asked by my mom and my sil "Are you
> STILL breastfeeding?" "When are you going to stop" and that was it. I
> think it was all they said but it has been bothering me. I didnt have a
> reply to their comment. I only said "If I have another I probably wont
> breastfeed but I cant have anymore kids"... ( I said that because I think
> breastfeeding is a commitment and I wouldnt just abruptly take away her
> favorite thing)
>
>
> Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
> why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was. I can
> only assume that they think I am still breastfeeding for my own reasons not
> because my baby wants to breastfeed.
>
> I think it is such a personal matter. I would never question another
> mom's decisions on something like this.
>
> I have had some problems bonding with my 3 daughters because they had
> terrible colic. I also had ppd. I thought I was over it until this came up
> and now Im starting to get depressed again.
>
> I know I should have more confidence and maybe I should go to some lll
> meetings.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Deb Lewis
***Ever since I was asked I have been having panic attacks. I dont understand
why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was.***
Could it be they thought you seemed tired or depressed and thought they were suggesting a way you might help yourself?
It’s ok to say, “Why are you asking?” if you need clarification. It’s ok to say, “I’d rather not discuss something so personal with you.” It might seem awkward in the moment but it’s not at all as uncomfortable as wondering for days what their motives were, what their expectation is, what image you’re projecting, etc.
If you intend to breastfeed your baby until she’s two you can say that. If you intend to let the baby decide when you’re done you can say that.
Nothing they think or say has to have any special power over you or your choices. But you know that.
I hope your nice baby and that close and sweet (and fleeting) time with her is helping you feel better today.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
why they asked me the question or what their hidden reasoning was.***
Could it be they thought you seemed tired or depressed and thought they were suggesting a way you might help yourself?
It’s ok to say, “Why are you asking?” if you need clarification. It’s ok to say, “I’d rather not discuss something so personal with you.” It might seem awkward in the moment but it’s not at all as uncomfortable as wondering for days what their motives were, what their expectation is, what image you’re projecting, etc.
If you intend to breastfeed your baby until she’s two you can say that. If you intend to let the baby decide when you’re done you can say that.
Nothing they think or say has to have any special power over you or your choices. But you know that.
I hope your nice baby and that close and sweet (and fleeting) time with her is helping you feel better today.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- but my kids were always so demanding of my undivided attention (and, they never napped or slept longer than an hour at a time) that there was just no way I could ever attend a LLL meeting, which are always in the evenings where I am.-=-
In my experience, the evening meetings are designed so the dad or grandmother or friend might be able to take care of the older kids and the mom can take the nursling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In my experience, the evening meetings are designed so the dad or grandmother or friend might be able to take care of the older kids and the mom can take the nursling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]