Sandra Dodd

From a blog post, not mine:
"I refuse to make multiple meals. Once I've cooked a meal, I want to sit down and eat it. I also recognize the fact that not every member of the family will like the meal. So if my boys at least try the food, I allow them to get up and make themselves a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich or bowl of cereal."

In another post she brags about having set up and exacerbated a difficult, inconvenient situation, and then saying to her frustrated sons ""I'm not here to make a perfect world for you!," I yelled. "I'm here to help you figure out how to live in an imperfect world.""

It was not at all a picture of partnership, but of antagonism.

I was looking at the blog because this morning I was asked by e-mail whether the author could interview me, and maybe Kirby and Marty, for a book about homeschooling boys.

Two years ago, the parents separated, I discovered today, looking through, (I didn't read enough to know if there was a divorce yet, but I'm guessing there was), and the boys are now in school.

The inflexibility, negativity and self-righteous position of the mother must have contributed to, if not caused, the breakdown of an intact, homeschooling family.

I'm mentioned in that blog four times, in positive ways, but if she had just even taken the advice offered in what I wrote at her request, her family life would be happier.

I'm sad to be associated with something that's so broken, but if there is going to be a book about homeschooling boys, would it be better for me to have a section that might help someone, or to shun it outright as something I don't even think should be written by someone who failed to maintain her own homeschooling home?

Gack. Angst. Philosophical tripwires.

Sandra

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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

So let me get this straight. She is writing a book about homeschooling boys but her kids no longer homeschool?
 Argh Sandra that is a hard one. If you think it can help someone I would say go for it , specially if people decide to read up on your site because of it. 

I  have found great stuff by following links while reading something I did not agree on.   ( did that make sense?)

 
Alex Polikowsky

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Joy

In many cultures, food is associated with love, care, nurturing, family and happiness. I don't see association here. Maybe "a happy meal" from McDonald is indeed a happy meal because of the image they project.

If I were you I would not want to be interviewed.

My 2 cents

Jihong

Sent from my iPhone

On Nov 12, 2011, at 1:47 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

> From a blog post, not mine:
> "I refuse to make multiple meals. Once I've cooked a meal, I want to sit down and eat it. I also recognize the fact that not every member of the family will like the meal. So if my boys at least try the food, I allow them to get up and make themselves a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich or bowl of cereal."
>
> In another post she brags about having set up and exacerbated a difficult, inconvenient situation, and then saying to her frustrated sons ""I'm not here to make a perfect world for you!," I yelled. "I'm here to help you figure out how to live in an imperfect world.""
>
> It was not at all a picture of partnership, but of antagonism.
>
> I was looking at the blog because this morning I was asked by e-mail whether the author could interview me, and maybe Kirby and Marty, for a book about homeschooling boys.
>
> Two years ago, the parents separated, I discovered today, looking through, (I didn't read enough to know if there was a divorce yet, but I'm guessing there was), and the boys are now in school.
>
> The inflexibility, negativity and self-righteous position of the mother must have contributed to, if not caused, the breakdown of an intact, homeschooling family.
>
> I'm mentioned in that blog four times, in positive ways, but if she had just even taken the advice offered in what I wrote at her request, her family life would be happier.
>
> I'm sad to be associated with something that's so broken, but if there is going to be a book about homeschooling boys, would it be better for me to have a section that might help someone, or to shun it outright as something I don't even think should be written by someone who failed to maintain her own homeschooling home?
>
> Gack. Angst. Philosophical tripwires.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>


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Sandra Dodd

-=-I have found great stuff by following links while reading something I did not agree on. ( did that make sense?)-=-

Yes.

There are people who find me that way, but I still feel that I'm supporting something I don't agree with.
I spoke at a conference last summer for an organization I'm not impressed with, and there were other speakers that appalled me. But a couple of people said they wouldn't have heard me otherwise.

Our family was included in a couple of books that are full of Christian homeschooling and homeschoolers, Bible quotations, lots of rules, and the family right after us in the second book sent the older daughter to school because she no longer wanted to hang out with her mom and brother, and at the age of 14.

http://sandradodd.com/pinkcrayons
I pulled our parts onto my web page so people can read them without getting those books if they want to.

I'm torn between accepting the exposure and wanting to maintain my boundaries and integrity. There WILL be people who didn't know it was possible to be calmer and sweeter with children if they see what I write, but what strange bedfellows do I end up with?

Sandra

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Pam Sorooshian

I think if the book is clearly intended to represent a wide variety of
viewpoints that may be contradictory to each other, it is fine and dandy to
be included along with viewpoints that you disagree with. The reader knows,
in that case, that the contributors are not supporting some common
approach.

But, I'd have a problem if each contributor is supposed to be adding their
support to the same overall approach.

I wouldn't want to seem to be part of a whole, if that whole included
objectionable parts, too. But I'd be willing to be part of a collection of
disparate viewpoints.

-pam


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Robin Bentley

> I'm torn between accepting the exposure and wanting to maintain my
> boundaries and integrity.

I'd go with maintaining your boundaries and integrity <g>.

> There WILL be people who didn't know it was possible to be calmer
> and sweeter with children if they see what I write, but what strange
> bedfellows do I end up with?

There are many well-worn paths to your wisdom, though, Sandra. If
people want to be calmer and sweeter with their children, they'll find
you somehow, I think.

Robin B.

Sandra Dodd

Here's what I wrote, and the response I got. Thanks, all, for helping me consider what to do.



You're welcome to use what I've already written at your blog, for your book, but I don't feel comfortable supporting structured homeschooling or what seems to me (from your descriptions) harsher parenting than I practice.

We didn't do things differently for our daughter than for our sons, as to unschooling or parenting, outside of being more protective of who she was with and where, to some extent. I can't support the idea that there is different homeschooling for boys than girls, where unschooling is concerned.

I'm sorry things didn't go better at your house. The harsh tone about vegetables and about the flat tire and not waking them up on time made me feel bad for your boys, though, and made me wish you could have seen the benefits of the ideas on my site, or maybe that you had been around the discussions at Always Learning.

Here are a couple of very new things to my pages:
http://sandradodd.com/feedback/betsyS
http://sandradodd.com/feedback/rippy

Sandra

=========
Sandra,

I hear you. And I'm sorry things didn't go better at my house too.

Best,

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