Melissa Bendtsen

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for a little insight on how I might take a look at our particular situation. I have been a stay at home mom for the last 9 years. I'm looking into the idea of returning to school to be able to get a degree to help out financially. My husband is in sales and things can get unstable with not knowing if our bills will be paid (just a little background). What I'm really wondering is if by me going back to school what message, if any, am I sending to my three kids? I believe in not needing school to learn, unschooling is our philosophy, but is this different? I want to be here with them every second because I don't want to miss anything. I feel torn at wanting to lessen my spouses worries when it comes to supporting us financially, but at what cost?

Thank you again,
Melissa

Sandra Dodd

Two different questions:

-=-What I'm really wondering is if by me going back to school what message, if any, am I sending to my three kids? I believe in not needing school to learn, unschooling is our philosophy, but is this different? -=-

Sometimes school is more about certification than about learning.

You might have some classmates who were unschooled or homeschooled. You might end up learning more and having stories to tell at home that aren't about what you paid to learn in school, but what you see with your newly deschooled eyes!

If you and your children all know that one doesn't need elementary school to go to high school, and that high school isn't needed to get into college, and that college isn't needed to grow up and reproduce, then it shouldn't hurt.


-=-I want to be here with them every second because I don't want to miss anything. I feel torn at wanting to lessen my spouses worries when it comes to supporting us financially, but at what cost? -=-

That's a harder one.
If you will be needing to pay tuition and transportation and childcare, and if you'll end up with loans to repay (even if you don't finish the program), could it be better for you to work retail or food services during hours when your spouse is home? Sometimes that ends up being the case. The prestige isn't there, but sometimes the cash ends up about the same. Grocery store checkers at union chains do very well. :-) Your children's childhoods won't wait even for the end of the semester.

It might be great, and it might not, but consider all the side costs (financial, time, attention, peace at home).

Sandra

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dezignarob

Do you need a degree to earn money? It sounds more like you are wanting to return to a career, rather than merely contribute more money to the family coffers. Is the underlying issue that you're feeling pressure to become *The Breadwinner*, but you feel ambivalent about that?

I teach SDU scrapbooking at Michaels after being certified from an online course - that didn't cost me anything except as many tools as I wanted to purchase. I got my part time job at Michaels after being the Cricut demonstrator (and they paid me to do the training). I got my part time demonstrator job after seeing an ad on a crafting website. The demo hiring company, Advantage Sales and Marketing, offer me other jobs often. That kind of "sales ajacent" job pays well for part time. You could look into that sort of thing. No degree necessarily, just demonstrable skills.

Maybe there are online courses that you can take at night when the kids are sleeping. Not to hide it from them, but to cut into their time less.

You asked "what's the difference?"

It's different because specialized, vocational and interest based instruction, taken voluntarily for individual, personal reasons is different from mandatory schooling with an externally designed, externally tested and assessed curriculum, with behavioral modification thrown in for good measure.

Choosing because you want the end results is different than being forced to please some other authority.

Hope that helps.

Robyn L. Coburn
Certified SDU Scrapbooking Instructor
www.robyncoburn.blogspot.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com




===I'm looking into the idea of returning to school to be able to get a degree to help out financially. My husband is in sales and things can get unstable with not knowing if our bills will be paid (just a little background). What I'm really wondering is if by me going back to school what message, if any, am I sending to my three kids? ====

Joyce Fetteroll

On Jan 21, 2011, at 3:47 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:

> Grocery store checkers at union chains do very well

And some grocery stores like Whole Foods give you a discount on
groceries :-)

Joyce




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sheeboo2

It used to be, not that long ago, that a college education meant higher *life-time* earning potential for many. That isn't the case anymore. If you think about what you'll need to spend on tuition, books (can be well over $400/semester), child-care (if needed), etc.....and the time it will take to graduate during which time you won't be earning anything, you may very well make out better working part-time at Starbucks or a grocery store!

Have you looked at the salaries for entry-level positions in the field you're interested in? Many entry-level jobs that require a college degree pay around $27,000-$32,000/year. Not much more, if at all, than you could make waiting tables at a higher-end restaurant a few nights a week.

This is from a few years ago, and things have only gotten worse since then:
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=6668451

Here's another thought: add up everything you'd spend going to school for however many years--maybe it would be even more financially advantageous to sink that money into starting a business?

Brie

k

>>>It used to be, not that long ago, that a college education meant higher
*life-time* earning potential for many. That isn't the case anymore.<<<

It hasn't been that way for lots of people at least two decades. I have
thought about getting a masters to go into art instruction but I'm in the
wrong state since Vocational Rehabilitation is very different in S.
Carolina, meaning it doesn't cover education costs to speak of, that I know
of. I wouldn't have finished my bachelors had it not been for Voc. Rehab. in
Tenn. .... I wish I had known earlier than I did, and only found out when I
inquired more closely years after I started. It helped tremendously that I
had an amazing case worker who understood and also wore hearing aids. To me,
the expense of the degree was worth the experience of getting it. I'm
appalled at the price nonetheless.
<http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=6668451>
>>>Here's another thought: add up everything you'd spend going to school for
however many years--maybe it would be even more financially advantageous to
sink that money into starting a business?<<<

A business startup can cost just as much as or more than a degree but many
of them don't. I personally think the slower and more conservative that one
can be in building on successes ---as well as the confidence and the desire
to continue--- the more likely one is to avoid getting in too deep,
financially and otherwise. (Thoughts for myself and anybody else who finds
it useful.)

~Katherine


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d.lewis

***Do you need a degree to earn money? It sounds more like you are wanting
to return to a career, rather than merely contribute more money to the
family coffers. Is the underlying issue that you're feeling pressure to
become *The Breadwinner*, but you feel ambivalent about that?***

The flower shop where I used to work has closed and one of the owners has
taken a job waiting tables. She loves it. She has money in her pocket
every night and gets a paycheck every week and takes home none of the stress
she used to from the flower shop. She makes enough in tips in a week for
their grocery buying for the month. It's not a big fancy restaurant, just
a small town, family-style place. Her personality is suited to that kind
of work and her daughter can hang out there part of the time. She gets a
plate of munchables from the salad bar and enjoys a coloring book.

Deb Lewis

Lisa E Biesemeyer

"one of the owners has
taken a job waiting tables. She loves it. She has money in her pocket
every night and gets a paycheck every week and takes home none of the stress
she used to from the flower shop."

My husband has worked as a restaurant server for 15 years. He loves it! He
works really hard for about 5 hours, and then he's done. His work schedule,
usually from 4pm-12am, gives him the freedom to be home with the kids and me, to
watch them while I work (two days a week as a university writing instructor), as
well as do the things that he enjoys like writing about the service industry,
reading, social media, etc. He makes enough money as a server to pay our rent
(in SF Bay Area!) and about half of the bills.


Lisa B

Lisa Biesemeyer




________________________________

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

I balk at the idea of waiting tables because I wear hearing aids. Asking
people to repeat themselves... I dunno. Any thoughts on that?

There's a restaurant a mile away that might hire me. Trying to get up the
nerve to apply because I could use the money for gas and extras (we live way
out on the fringe of a rural town). I could work a little bit without so
much running back and forth, and Karl could be with Brian at home in the
evenings; maybe sometimes he could come with me if he wants.

~Katherine





On Sat, Jan 22, 2011 at 11:44 AM, Lisa E Biesemeyer <
l.biesemeyer@...> wrote:

> "one of the owners has
> taken a job waiting tables. She loves it. She has money in her pocket
> every night and gets a paycheck every week and takes home none of the
> stress
> she used to from the flower shop."
>
> My husband has worked as a restaurant server for 15 years. He loves it! He
> works really hard for about 5 hours, and then he's done. His work schedule,
> usually from 4pm-12am, gives him the freedom to be home with the kids and
> me, to
> watch them while I work (two days a week as a university writing
> instructor), as
> well as do the things that he enjoys like writing about the service
> industry,
> reading, social media, etc. He makes enough money as a server to pay our
> rent
> (in SF Bay Area!) and about half of the bills.
>
>
> Lisa B
>
> Lisa Biesemeyer
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

It's getting off the topic of unschooling now, but about this...

-=-I balk at the idea of waiting tables because I wear hearing aids. Asking
people to repeat themselves... I dunno. Any thoughts on that?

-=-There's a restaurant a mile away that might hire me. Trying to get up the
nerve to apply because I could use the money for gas and extras (we live way
out on the fringe of a rural town). I could work a little bit without so
much running back and forth, and Karl could be with Brian at home in the
evenings; maybe sometimes he could come with me if he wants.-=-

Waiting tables pays more than the other jobs in a restaurant, pretty much, and the job is all about communicating with people in a noisy environment, so not hearing well wouldn't be a way to get good tips. There are simple bookkeeping jobs sometimes that business owners don't want to do, but that don't require "a bookkeeper" in the certified sort of way.

But that's all beyond the subject of the discussion, which should be more about whether it's worth going back to college. Truck driving jobs pay well too, but I never had the strength or spatial awareness to drive a truck. Suggestions of jobs that pay well is more to the point that whether any one individual would be suited for any one job.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Sorooshian

On 1/22/2011 11:08 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
> It's getting off the topic of unschooling now, but about this...
>
> -=-I balk at the idea of waiting tables because I wear hearing aids.
> Asking
> people to repeat themselves... I dunno. Any thoughts on that?

Simply by virtue of having been a homeschooling parent, you get some
credibility as a tutor. If YOU think you're capable of tutoring -
writing and math are the two most-requested subjects - then you can
probably find a few tutees and, once you have one or two, you get more
through word of mouth.

-pam

Melissa Bendtsen

Thank you everybody for your insight. I do not have a career to go back to, I was just thinking about helping out the family to help ease the entire work load off my husband. Also, because I don't have a degree in anything, the idea for me to go back to school would (in my husband's eyes) be protection if anything would happen to him. I would have the ability to support the children. His job is very stressful and we are in the process of trying to lessen that stress for him. We do have a home business that we are working on to begin supporting us; so we can all be together all the time. But this takes time. Our ultimate goal to work/live together in our happy place and enjoy every moment. That would probably be messed up if I was not at home very much to enjoy that. Bringing up the points on paying off tuition and the other school or work expenses helps me see it in a different way. My husband and I are committed to keeping our family lifestyle intact. So, I don't know exactly how this will pan out. This discussion helped me begin to process this and created a good discussion with my husband about our goals.
--- In [email protected], "d.lewis" <d.lewis@...> wrote:
>
> ***Do you need a degree to earn money? It sounds more like you are wanting
> to return to a career, rather than merely contribute more money to the
> family coffers. Is the underlying issue that you're feeling pressure to
> become *The Breadwinner*, but you feel ambivalent about that?***
>
> The flower shop where I used to work has closed and one of the owners has
> taken a job waiting tables. She loves it. She has money in her pocket
> every night and gets a paycheck every week and takes home none of the stress
> she used to from the flower shop. She makes enough in tips in a week for
> their grocery buying for the month. It's not a big fancy restaurant, just
> a small town, family-style place. Her personality is suited to that kind
> of work and her daughter can hang out there part of the time. She gets a
> plate of munchables from the salad bar and enjoys a coloring book.
>
> Deb Lewis
>

Jennifer Schuelein

One more quick thing...I worked from home for quite a while after my divorce until I got married to my husband. I don't have a degree (3 yrs of college), but I have a great grasp of the English language and grammar. So, I worked as a copy writer and editor. I did this at home and made a good living. There is certification you can get online, too, for higher paying jobs. I used a site called Guru.com. Just some info if that might interest you. Good luck!!

--- In [email protected], "Melissa Bendtsen" <melissabendtsen@...> wrote:
>
> Thank you everybody for your insight. I do not have a career to go back to, I was just thinking about helping out the family to help ease the entire work load off my husband. Also, because I don't have a degree in anything, the idea for me to go back to school would (in my husband's eyes) be protection if anything would happen to him. I would have the ability to support the children. His job is very stressful and we are in the process of trying to lessen that stress for him. We do have a home business that we are working on to begin supporting us; so we can all be together all the time. But this takes time. Our ultimate goal to work/live together in our happy place and enjoy every moment. That would probably be messed up if I was not at home very much to enjoy that. Bringing up the points on paying off tuition and the other school or work expenses helps me see it in a different way. My husband and I are committed to keeping our family lifestyle intact. So, I don't know exactly how this will pan out. This discussion helped me begin to process this and created a good discussion with my husband about our goals.
> --- In [email protected], "d.lewis" <d.lewis@> wrote:
> >
> > ***Do you need a degree to earn money? It sounds more like you are wanting
> > to return to a career, rather than merely contribute more money to the
> > family coffers. Is the underlying issue that you're feeling pressure to
> > become *The Breadwinner*, but you feel ambivalent about that?***
> >
> > The flower shop where I used to work has closed and one of the owners has
> > taken a job waiting tables. She loves it. She has money in her pocket
> > every night and gets a paycheck every week and takes home none of the stress
> > she used to from the flower shop. She makes enough in tips in a week for
> > their grocery buying for the month. It's not a big fancy restaurant, just
> > a small town, family-style place. Her personality is suited to that kind
> > of work and her daughter can hang out there part of the time. She gets a
> > plate of munchables from the salad bar and enjoys a coloring book.
> >
> > Deb Lewis
> >
>