Joyce Fetteroll

How many immediately think God when spirituality is mentioned? Or
being one with the big Oneness (however you might define it.)

But if you look at spirituality as how we connect with each other (and
with the past, the world, the universe, and greater powers if you
believe in them), what are the ways you connect to your kids and your
partner?

The first thing I thought of was how appalled most parents would be if
I said we connect by watching a movie with dinner each night. ;-) And
yet it's true. We're all emotionally connected to each other through
the movies (and now TV shows) we all enjoy. The practice is years long
so it connects us all the way to Kathryn's younger self. It's given us
a common language and points of reference. We can (among many others)
use "On Teb, on!" (from Galaxy Quest) and know how it connects to the
situation and it also emotionally connects us and the moment with
something we all enjoy.

Once I accepted that as a spiritual practice, I came up with lots more
but wanted to throw it out for others' ideas :-)

So what are the on going practices you connect through, one on one or
with the whole family?

Joyce

dola dasgupta-banerji

Movies for us too. There are a few movies especially which we as a family
connect watching together. It is an Indian film. 'Jab we met' Meaning when
we met. It is about a young girl while travelling back home from college
saves a young man from depression because he lost his love. How she misses
her train and he helps her to get back home starting a real bond between the
two.

We all enjoy that film. Then we connect with Madagascar and Shahrukh Khan
films.

Well spirituality is for me at the moment connecting with my self and my
emotions and the roots of those emotions.

Dola

On Fri, Nov 12, 2010 at 5:01 PM, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>wrote:

>
>
> How many immediately think God when spirituality is mentioned? Or
> being one with the big Oneness (however you might define it.)
>
> But if you look at spirituality as how we connect with each other (and
> with the past, the world, the universe, and greater powers if you
> believe in them), what are the ways you connect to your kids and your
> partner?
>
> The first thing I thought of was how appalled most parents would be if
> I said we connect by watching a movie with dinner each night. ;-) And
> yet it's true. We're all emotionally connected to each other through
> the movies (and now TV shows) we all enjoy. The practice is years long
> so it connects us all the way to Kathryn's younger self. It's given us
> a common language and points of reference. We can (among many others)
> use "On Teb, on!" (from Galaxy Quest) and know how it connects to the
> situation and it also emotionally connects us and the moment with
> something we all enjoy.
>
> Once I accepted that as a spiritual practice, I came up with lots more
> but wanted to throw it out for others' ideas :-)
>
> So what are the on going practices you connect through, one on one or
> with the whole family?
>
> Joyce
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

For me, this is especially important... to see the new paths of connection
between close family as meaningful and full. Both Brian and I come from
Christian childhoods and seeing the importance of how we connect now has
been challenging at times because of the emotional ties there from our
childhoods. Because our present lives aren't full of Christian connections.

Thanks for putting your post that way, Joyce. That's helpful for me to think
on.

~Katherine




On Fri, Nov 12, 2010 at 6:31 AM, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>wrote:

> How many immediately think God when spirituality is mentioned? Or
> being one with the big Oneness (however you might define it.)
>
> But if you look at spirituality as how we connect with each other (and
> with the past, the world, the universe, and greater powers if you
> believe in them), what are the ways you connect to your kids and your
> partner?
>
> The first thing I thought of was how appalled most parents would be if
> I said we connect by watching a movie with dinner each night. ;-) And
> yet it's true. We're all emotionally connected to each other through
> the movies (and now TV shows) we all enjoy. The practice is years long
> so it connects us all the way to Kathryn's younger self. It's given us
> a common language and points of reference. We can (among many others)
> use "On Teb, on!" (from Galaxy Quest) and know how it connects to the
> situation and it also emotionally connects us and the moment with
> something we all enjoy.
>
> Once I accepted that as a spiritual practice, I came up with lots more
> but wanted to throw it out for others' ideas :-)
>
> So what are the on going practices you connect through, one on one or
> with the whole family?
>
> Joyce
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Laura McDowell

Joyce, thanks for bringing this up. A young friend asked me the other day
when I mentioned that food was spiritual for me- how does that happen? It
was difficult to explain and while I don't think there is at this point an
immediate sense of spiritual connectedness within our family to food- there
are other ways. Over the last yr or so we "religiously" (haha) rented out
Little House movies from the library and found that not only did they help
our family to discuss community and many principles concerning ethics ,as
well as bits of history, but we certainly shared this closeness and bonding.
Often we would laugh at different times about characters and a few times my
son or daughter would refer to someone or someone reminding them of parts of
the show or characters.



~Thanks for reminding me again that even when we're up late doing
unconventional things our lives are still filled with joy and learning!!!

Laura



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

gabby

Hello,

Curious, what Little House are you talking about? Little House on the
Prairie or another?


On Fri, Nov 12, 2010 at 11:05 PM, Laura McDowell <la_tree@...>wrote:

>
>
>
>
> Joyce, thanks for bringing this up. A young friend asked me the other day
> when I mentioned that food was spiritual for me- how does that happen? It
> was difficult to explain and while I don't think there is at this point an
> immediate sense of spiritual connectedness within our family to food- there
> are other ways. Over the last yr or so we "religiously" (haha) rented out
> Little House movies from the library and found that not only did they help
> our family to discuss community and many principles concerning ethics ,as
> well as bits of history, but we certainly shared this closeness and
> bonding.
> Often we would laugh at different times about characters and a few times my
> son or daughter would refer to someone or someone reminding them of parts
> of
> the show or characters.
>
> ~Thanks for reminding me again that even when we're up late doing
> unconventional things our lives are still filled with joy and learning!!!
>
> Laura
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

Here's some other spiritual practices I came up with. Some fleshed
out. Some kind of random at the end.

Carl and I read books to Kathryn each night. Sometimes they were just
books, part of the ritual before bedtime. Sometimes, if they were
books we both loved that connected us, the time moved up several
notches to spiritual.

Every night for years and years, Carl has made chocolate milk at
dinner for Kathryn. But he delivers not just the chocolate milk but
the gift of his appreciation of something she enjoys which connects
them in the moment and with their shared past.

Playing games together, especially video games because those tend to
be more personalizable and emotionally connecting.

Carl and Kathryn have played Madden football together for years. All
three of us played Animal Crossing. Oddly it's a one-player-at-a-time
game. What was connecting was understanding the can't-be-explained-
with-words enjoyment and satisfaction of the activities. Like pulling
the weeds that sprout up each night and fishing for the rare fish.
Sounds dull written out. The pleasure can only be understood through
experience. It's not only fun to do, but inexplicably enjoyable to
watch others do it.

Sometimes the games we played together were just fun games. For me,
Super Smash Brothers was just a fun game. Perhaps because I wasn't
very good at it so couldn't experience the same feelings my daughter
could. For a game to elevate to a connecting of spirits, there needs
to be not just shared enjoyment but a deeper shared understanding that
we're having very similar feelings.

Shared emotions -- when we're all feeling the same thing -- that leads
to synergy of emotion -- that extra you get when individuals share the
same emotions -- connects us. (Which is probably why strangers can
feel so strongly connected when they ride out a crisis together.) My
family and my sister went to Disney World and had a fun time. We
shared similar emotions. But the only connection I remember that rose
above mutual enjoyment was the Jungle Cruise where the guides are a
bit irreverent of the Disney experience. We did that one 3 times. It
wasn't just more enjoyable but a synergy of joy. :-)

We both greet Carl at the door, asking if he needs help bringing stuff
in from the car. It was never a requirement for Kathryn to join me --
which might rouse negative emotions and associate them with his
arrival. My attitude when he pulled in the drive was laced with
positive emotions, "Oh, Daddy's home!" And for her it connected with
her toddler-view of the world that already knew that was an awesome
thing and carried that on through the years. She's 19 and still thinks
it's awesome.

It's not just a hi when he comes home. It's a mindful pause, a time to
give full attention. Sometimes he walks in at an awkward moment in
dinner preparation but I'm conscious that he and the connection are
more important than dinner and do what I can to get to the connection
as soon as I can.

Cooking. Not all cooking is spiritual or mindful. Sometimes it's just
food grabbed quickly or tossed in a pan to get dinner done as quickly
as possible. But it can elevate it to the spiritual when you connect
to your family -- and yourself too! -- with some extra attention that
says they're worth the extra effort. It needn't be elaborate. It might
be getting the top split hotdog buns instead of the side split. My
mother used to cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into 4 sticks, a
triangle and a circle and assemble them into a person on a plate. A
HoHo (snack cake) connects me to my childhood. As a child I always
stripped the chocolate coating off to eat that first. Then sometimes
I'd unroll it and nibble it that way. I showed my daughter how to do
that and it gave her a small connection with my child-self.

Sandra often points out that you get to choose whether to stir anger
into the meal as you're cooking or joy. You can choose whether to
connect or disconnect.

And, of course, cooking can connect you to the earth when you think
about a red pepper being a package of rain and sunshine from
California or the organic farm in the next town or the container
garden on your porch.

The cat was sitting on the washing machine next to the running dryer.
Since I know she likes the warmth of the dryer, I cleared the top of
the dryer off for her and she moved over. The other cat loves dropping
a pipe cleaner into their water bowl and fishing it back out again. If
I see it astray, I return it next to the bowl so it's handy for her to
play with.

Sometimes I remember to buy a birthday cake for Christmas eve dinner
and we sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. Since we're not Christian, it's a
connection to the human being but the Catholic relatives enjoyed it
too and for them there was probably an added spiritual dimension.

Recycling. You can choose to let the bulky annoyance aspect of
recycling color your vision or see that each item diverted from the
trash connects you with the earth through being a caretaker in a small
way.

Connections with yourself. Like meditation. Cup of special tea that
you sip with awareness. Buying that piece of pumpkin cheesecake
because you're worth it and worth the time to savor each bite :-)

Connections with a stranger. Random act of kindness can connect you
with the world when they're done anonymously. Just the thought you
made someone somewhere smile. :-) Or when you stop and give someone a
moment of your time to help them out, it's not just nice but there's a
connection formed and you get back more than you give :-)

Joyce

alma

I studied religion/spirituality/psychology at university, which started an ongoing interest in Buddhism, both as study and practice. An old friend of mine, a friend I met in a Thai monastery more than 20 years ago, and only see very infrequently, recently asked me how my practice was going these days. In that moment I realised my spiritual practice these days is radical unschooling!! Yes, it's all there – mindfulness, being present, paying attention, being peaceful, making better choices …. I could go on and on. Before I had children it was possible to do 10 day silent retreats and such like, and for a while after having them I thought I would never practice again. Now I realise how limiting that view was and know that my children have been the biggest gift to my own personal spiritual practice.

Alison
DS8 and DS5


--- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:
>
> How many immediately think God when spirituality is mentioned? Or
> being one with the big Oneness (however you might define it.)
>
> But if you look at spirituality as how we connect with each other (and
> with the past, the world, the universe, and greater powers if you
> believe in them), what are the ways you connect to your kids and your
> partner?
>
> The first thing I thought of was how appalled most parents would be if
> I said we connect by watching a movie with dinner each night. ;-) And
> yet it's true. We're all emotionally connected to each other through
> the movies (and now TV shows) we all enjoy. The practice is years long
> so it connects us all the way to Kathryn's younger self. It's given us
> a common language and points of reference. We can (among many others)
> use "On Teb, on!" (from Galaxy Quest) and know how it connects to the
> situation and it also emotionally connects us and the moment with
> something we all enjoy.
>
> Once I accepted that as a spiritual practice, I came up with lots more
> but wanted to throw it out for others' ideas :-)
>
> So what are the on going practices you connect through, one on one or
> with the whole family?
>
> Joyce
>

Laura McDowell

Yes. Little House on the Prairie. I guess I know no other, lol and
therefore Little house is little house:-)
Laura



_____

From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of gabby
Sent: Saturday, November 13, 2010 2:53 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Spiritual practices





Hello,

Curious, what Little House are you talking about? Little House on the
Prairie or another?

On Fri, Nov 12, 2010 at 11:05 PM, Laura McDowell <la_tree@...
<mailto:la_tree%40verizon.net> >wrote:

>
>
>
>
> Joyce, thanks for bringing this up. A young friend asked me the other day
> when I mentioned that food was spiritual for me- how does that happen? It
> was difficult to explain and while I don't think there is at this point an
> immediate sense of spiritual connectedness within our family to food-
there
> are other ways. Over the last yr or so we "religiously" (haha) rented out
> Little House movies from the library and found that not only did they help
> our family to discuss community and many principles concerning ethics ,as
> well as bits of history, but we certainly shared this closeness and
> bonding.
> Often we would laugh at different times about characters and a few times
my
> son or daughter would refer to someone or someone reminding them of parts
> of
> the show or characters.
>
> ~Thanks for reminding me again that even when we're up late doing
> unconventional things our lives are still filled with joy and learning!!!
>
> Laura
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

carenkh

I was at an event, and felt immediately drawn to a woman there. She
noticed my tattoo (a zen enso, or painted circle) and asked about it and
started talking about her Buddhist teacher. I asked if her teacher was
Teijo Munnich, someone I had studied with for a time. I felt certain it
was, and she confirmed that it was! When I told her about my previous
studies, I was feeling a tiny bit guilty about not having as intense a
practice as I once did. Then I remembered that as a radical unschooler,
I've chosen for connection with my guys to be my #1 priority, and
everything else settles in after that, and the guilt vanished.
Consciously choosing that priority really helps my other choices come
into focus.

She said our teacher had recently said, "Real life is your practice -
zazen's a vacation!" (Zazen is zen meditation -- sitting.)

And it's true. Nothing has brought me back to THIS moment, again and
again, being present in a real way, as much as radical unschooling, and
the commitment I made to this way of life, to my boys.

Because of my childhood and other factors, I had to learn how to be here
with Evan and Seth, how to really connect, how to be present, not just
physically here. This journey has been amazing and full of gifts. I have
no doubt that one day I'll take a ten-day silent retreat, but for now,
our messy, sometimes loud, lives are plenty grist for the mill.

Joyce, I was recently telling a friend how much I enjoyed fishing in
Animal Crossing - standing there, peacefully, with the sound of the
waves as accompaniment. Schuyler has written about finding a minute here
and there to connect with yourself, rather than believing you need a big
chunk of time away from your kids. Animal Crossing fishing provided me
with that minute AND connection with the guys.

We watch youtube videos together. With six years between the boys, it's
getting trickier to find shows or movies we can all enjoy together, but
we can spend lots of time on youtube, laughing together.

peace,
Caren


--- In [email protected], "alma" <almadoing@...> wrote:
An old friend of mine, a friend I met in a Thai monastery more than 20
years ago, and only see very infrequently, recently asked me how my
practice was going these days. In that moment I realised my spiritual
practice these days is radical unschooling!! Yes, it's all there �
mindfulness, being present, paying attention, being peaceful, making
better choices



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lisa E Biesemeyer

Speaking of "Little House on the Prairie", at what age/stage did you start
reading the books to/with your children? My Rowan, 4.5yo, has enjoyed the show
from the 70s a couple of times, and I have considered introducing the books, but
they all seem so long and dense. Do you know of shorter versions that could be
better for young non-readers with shorter attention spans? Are there any with
illustrations or photos?

Thanks.

Lisa B

Lisa Biesemeyer




________________________________
From: Laura McDowell <la_tree@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sun, November 14, 2010 8:36:13 PM
Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] Spiritual practices


Yes. Little House on the Prairie. I guess I know no other, lol and
therefore Little house is little house:-)
Laura

_____

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-With six years between the boys, it's
getting trickier to find shows or movies we can all enjoy together, but
we can spend lots of time on youtube, laughing together.-=-

Soon it will be easier than ever to find things you all enjoy together.

Six or eight years ago, I wrote to Pam Sorooshian and asked her
whether what we were doing with this list and other similar places
wasn't some kind of spiritual business, and she confirmed that it
was. It was for me, anyway. It doesn't have to be for everyone.
Some people can go to church and be totally active (deacon, or altar
society, or whatever as applicable to "extra active") and not have
spiritual experiences--just go there 'to attend'--for the social life
and the community service or whatever. Some people can be really
spiritual but not useful to other people. (They can invoke the
feeling of being one with God, whatever that biochemical set is, I
mean.)

There is something empowering and humbling at the same time in helping
provide freedom and flexibility in the life of another person.

Sandra




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Sorooshian

On 11/15/2010 9:53 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
> There is something empowering and humbling at the same time in helping
> provide freedom and flexibility in the life of another person.

And - connecting. To something significant outside ourselves, I mean.

-pam

Joyce Fetteroll

On Nov 15, 2010, at 10:35 AM, Lisa E Biesemeyer wrote:

> Speaking of "Little House on the Prairie", at what age/stage did you
> start
> reading the books to/with your children?

Kathryn was 4. I was reading everything I could about homeschooling,
and one of the Christian groups recommended it for that age. It never
would have occurred to me! But she loved it. The first book is a
little easier than the rest and I don't think I read the next until
she was 5.

But I just mentioned here (I think it was) that Kathryn was fascinated
by dinosaurs and listened to Red Raptor at 4 which wasn't anywhere
close to being a kids book.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Josh Moll

With my daughter we started when she was just 5 and she has loved it since now
(almost 9). Every half year we read them all and buy one extra. We now have the
first seven books...
We have done a lot of things around them, like harvesting corn and grinding it
and baking corn cookies, cooking stuf like they ate, trying a day without
electricity, knitting and sewing. Lots of fun stuf.
Greetings, Josh
http://thuisschool.wordpress.com/



>
>From: Lisa E Biesemeyer <l.biesemeyer@...>
>To: [email protected]
>Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 4:35:25 PM
>Subject: Little House WAS Re: [AlwaysLearning] Spiritual practices
>
>
>Speaking of "Little House on the Prairie", at what age/stage did you start
>reading the books to/with your children? My Rowan, 4.5yo, has enjoyed the show

>from the 70s a couple of times, and I have considered introducing the books, but
>
>they all seem so long and dense. Do you know of shorter versions that could be

>better for young non-readers with shorter attention spans? Are there any with
>illustrations or photos?
>
>Thanks.
>
>Lisa B
>
>Lisa Biesemeyer
>
>________________________________
>From: Laura McDowell <la_tree@...>
>To: [email protected]
>Sent: Sun, November 14, 2010 8:36:13 PM
>Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] Spiritual practices
>
>Yes. Little House on the Prairie. I guess I know no other, lol and
>therefore Little house is little house:-)
>Laura
>
>_____
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

lavenderfield1978

Lisa B.,

We've been reading the 'My First Little House Books' series, from the library. My 4-year old really likes the illustrations.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=my+first+little+house+books&x=0&y=0


~stephy



--- In [email protected], Lisa E Biesemeyer <l.biesemeyer@...> wrote:
>
> Speaking of "Little House on the Prairie", at what age/stage did you start
> reading the books to/with your children? My Rowan, 4.5yo, has enjoyed the show
> from the 70s a couple of times, and I have considered introducing the books, but
> they all seem so long and dense. Do you know of shorter versions that could be
> better for young non-readers with shorter attention spans? Are there any with
> illustrations or photos?
>
> Thanks.
>
> Lisa B
>
> Lisa Biesemeyer
>
>
>

Krisula Moyer

> Speaking of "Little House on the Prairie", at what age/stage did you
> start
> reading the books to/with your children?

I read the first one Little House in the Big Woods to them when they were very little, 4 or 5. And we had some fun doing the things Ma did. We made butter out of cream, donuts and maple candy in snow. We also tried washing clothes in a tub (they LOVED that and would occasionally do that for fun even years later) and making little homemade toys. It was really a lot of fun. The other books were a bit tougher, their lives had some real dangers and difficulties and LIW was pretty opinionated about how people ought to behave. I liked "Farm Boy" written about Almonzo's childhood on a farm back East for some of the same kinds of homey descriptions of life back then. There are loads of picture books and recipe books for kids available based on the stories since they are so popular. As we grew into the other books there were many discussions about the way children are treated then and now and about the relationships in the book. I know many religious homeschoolers who would treat these books as fine examples of how children ought to behave etc. I would avoid that... also <spoiler> my kids were very upset when Jack, the Bulldog died. My kids were about 10 at the hight of their fascination for the series.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

Lisa E Biesemeyer <l.biesemeyer@...> wrote:
>My Rowan, 4.5yo, has enjoyed the show
> from the 70s a couple of times, and I have considered introducing the books, but
> they all seem so long and dense.

The American Girls books are much shorter, if she (he?) is interested in those kinds of "how people lived back then" stories.

Its worthwhile to consider why you want to read those books, though. Is it just the tie-in to something your child likes already? The books aren't really like the shows in that sense - the shows emphasize the social relationships a whole lot more, while the books have looooong passages describing how people lived. So it might be better to get a sense of what your child Likes about the series and look for more of that.

Does your child like to be read to? Mo didn't and still doesn't, although she sometimes enjoys reading to me. Its not a given that a child will enjoy being read to.

---Meredith (Mo 9, Ray 17)

dola dasgupta-banerji

Spiritual practices stem from being connected with my own spirit. If I am
connected and alert I connect better with my children and loved ones.
Internal harmony is absolutely must to attain external harmony and peace. To
go out I needed to first go in.....

Dola

On Wed, Nov 17, 2010 at 12:07 AM, plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@...
> wrote:

>
>
> Lisa E Biesemeyer <l.biesemeyer@...> wrote:
> >My Rowan, 4.5yo, has enjoyed the show
> > from the 70s a couple of times, and I have considered introducing the
> books, but
> > they all seem so long and dense.
>
> The American Girls books are much shorter, if she (he?) is interested in
> those kinds of "how people lived back then" stories.
>
> Its worthwhile to consider why you want to read those books, though. Is it
> just the tie-in to something your child likes already? The books aren't
> really like the shows in that sense - the shows emphasize the social
> relationships a whole lot more, while the books have looooong passages
> describing how people lived. So it might be better to get a sense of what
> your child Likes about the series and look for more of that.
>
> Does your child like to be read to? Mo didn't and still doesn't, although
> she sometimes enjoys reading to me. Its not a given that a child will enjoy
> being read to.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 9, Ray 17)
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]