Need some help with encouraging hygiene
miriam
My daughter (almost 12) and I have been unschooling for a little over a year. She has never had good hygiene habits and I've never been a big fusser over her cleaning routine since she's been big enough to do it for herself. She will clean herself up when I ask her to so that we can go in public without embarassment.
My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room -- shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as much. They've said this in front of her.
This is just about the only serious bone of contention between me and my daughter and the only time when I really feel like I'm being authoritarian and mean. I generally just ask her to go brush her teeth once or twice a day, but when I find she has not done so and has not even tried to floss, I get frustrated. I am trying to not let it rise to the level of an argument - but it has on occasion. Telling her that her breath is foul hurts her feelings, but often it is the only way to get her to do a good job of brushing - and I do only tell her that when it is true.
Any suggestions for me? Should I just get over it and let her do what she wants with her own mouth? I just can't help feeling that she is still just too young to really understand the consequences of having cavities and gingivitus and an unnattractive and uncomfortable overbite. I don't want her to have to learn that from experience.
My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room -- shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as much. They've said this in front of her.
This is just about the only serious bone of contention between me and my daughter and the only time when I really feel like I'm being authoritarian and mean. I generally just ask her to go brush her teeth once or twice a day, but when I find she has not done so and has not even tried to floss, I get frustrated. I am trying to not let it rise to the level of an argument - but it has on occasion. Telling her that her breath is foul hurts her feelings, but often it is the only way to get her to do a good job of brushing - and I do only tell her that when it is true.
Any suggestions for me? Should I just get over it and let her do what she wants with her own mouth? I just can't help feeling that she is still just too young to really understand the consequences of having cavities and gingivitus and an unnattractive and uncomfortable overbite. I don't want her to have to learn that from experience.
Sandra Dodd
-=-My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and
she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much
refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it
easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. -=-
The braces and the unschooling are both about a year, and so I don't
think the unschooling benefits will have kicked in before she got
braces.
If it wasn't her option to get braces, that might be part of why she's
not working harder to keep them up. Also, she's kind of young for
braces, isn't she? It's easier for teens to take care of them than
younger kids. And it's easier for kids who were in on the decision to
be invested in the project.
-=- I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year
because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was
painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room --
shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean
her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist
has said as much. They've said this in front of her. -=-
You don't "have to" take her in. Don't think of it as her causing you
not to have choices.
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
Maybe find a place that will give her a sedative or nitrous before
cleaning her teeth if it's really painful.
Maybe offer to help her floss or clean. You could play dental
hygienist sometimes at home.
Bad breath can be from things other than oral hygiene. Sour stomach,
for one reason or another, or yeast imbalance.... things like that.
Please don't settle on the first assumption that comes along.
Mouthwashes might be fun. Rinsing with baking soda and water,
sometimes, might be fun.
Don't think unschooling isn't working because of something such as
you've described.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much
refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it
easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. -=-
The braces and the unschooling are both about a year, and so I don't
think the unschooling benefits will have kicked in before she got
braces.
If it wasn't her option to get braces, that might be part of why she's
not working harder to keep them up. Also, she's kind of young for
braces, isn't she? It's easier for teens to take care of them than
younger kids. And it's easier for kids who were in on the decision to
be invested in the project.
-=- I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year
because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was
painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room --
shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean
her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist
has said as much. They've said this in front of her. -=-
You don't "have to" take her in. Don't think of it as her causing you
not to have choices.
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
Maybe find a place that will give her a sedative or nitrous before
cleaning her teeth if it's really painful.
Maybe offer to help her floss or clean. You could play dental
hygienist sometimes at home.
Bad breath can be from things other than oral hygiene. Sour stomach,
for one reason or another, or yeast imbalance.... things like that.
Please don't settle on the first assumption that comes along.
Mouthwashes might be fun. Rinsing with baking soda and water,
sometimes, might be fun.
Don't think unschooling isn't working because of something such as
you've described.
Sandra
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Robin Bentley
>Although my daughter (15) could likely benefit from braces, I won't
> Any suggestions for me? Should I just get over it and let her do
> what she wants with her own mouth? I just can't help feeling that
> she is still just too young to really understand the consequences of
> having cavities and gingivitus and an unnattractive and
> uncomfortable overbite. I don't want her to have to learn that from
> experience.
have them put on her teeth because her tooth brushing is sporadic.
From babyhood, she had a very sensitive mouth and hated me cleaning
her teeth. Trips to the dentist increased her sensitivity (not to
mention fear of anything being in her mouth). It's been difficult and
expensive at times, but we've found ways to keep her teeth as sound as
possible. This has included sedation and once, general anesthesia.
I have been determined to find a dentist who will work with Senna and
her oral issues. It has been a long process, but I finally found one a
couple of years ago (whom I am thrilled to see, too). He honors when
she says stop, makes suggestions for alternatives to what he'd like to
do (he's very creative, has 6 kids himself), gives her space and talks
her language (he's a gamer and has a son into Pokemon <g>). She is
really beginning to trust him to look after her. He was able to clean
her teeth and floss them yesterday, something she would never have
allowed a year ago. He has been so willing to work with us as a family
and I really appreciate that.
Our dentist said that it would be a huge problem for Senna to have
braces if she isn't ready to take care of her teeth. She isn't having
any bite issues or pain (which is the important thing for braces, not
just to straighten teeth). We see him every 3 months now for a
thorough cleaning and would do the sedation again, if necessary.
I have had ongoing conversations with Senna about the importance of
looking after her teeth, what the consequences *could* be, and so on.
She, too, is sensitive to criticism of her bad breath. It has not
helped our relationship for me to harangue her about these things,
though. She has dug in her heels as she has with anything I tried to
force on her. Previously, I have put my worry for her health ahead of
finding a way for her to trust me that someone won't hurt her. As
proof that we're making headway, she got up after only six hours of
sleep to go to the dentist yesterday.
It will be up to my daughter to look after her teeth on her own
eventually. I have finally been able to provide positive interactions
with a dentist (too many talked in condescending sing-song voices or
got mad if she refused treatment - they wouldn't have dared do that to
me). I expect she will eventually understand the importance of looking
after her dental health more fully (probably when she finds someone to
kiss <g>). I'm willing to help her get to that point, however long it
takes.
Robin B.
Chris Sanders
> Maybe offer to help her floss or clean. You could play dentalWe have a water-pik that my daughter (13 on Saturday) and her father
> hygienist sometimes at home.
enjoy playing with. They take turns water-pik'ing each other's teeth.
Water flies everywhere and it's quite hilarious, but that thing really
works! I think a water-pik would be ideal for someone with braces! I
sometimes still help my daughter to brush her teeth thoroughly. She's
just now starting to care more about hygiene but teeth-brushing is
still a boring chore. She's slated to get braces very soon, but I've
been delaying a bit because I just don't think she's quite ready to
care for them herself. That, and we need to get some more of her
teeth pulled before she gets the braces put on -- and that's no fun!
Chris in IA
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Ed Wendell
We also have been considering the Waterpik for Zac. He is 16 and has sensitive teeth and hates to floss. His dentist also has suggested braces for the past two years. We have talked with Zac about it and decided to not get them yet until he develops the better oral hygiene habits he would need to be successful with the braces.
Ed W
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Ed W
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k
I hated/hate flossing and that's somewhat due to the pain that set/s in due
to my neglect. I have started using something called Doctor's Picks which
get between my teeth easier than the thickness of toothpicks but it's the
same principle as flossing without the long strings. I also use probiotic
tablets (mine are Garden of Life) made for people with a tendency to
overgrowth of harmful bacteria. I also quit using mouthrinses because the
acidity of those create a temporary battling down of harmful bacteria but
then they come back much stronger because good bacteria in saliva (natural
enemies of harmful bacteria) have also been killed by acidic often also
including harsh alcohol. I rinse with bottled water rather than tap water
(often acidic too) unless I'm at home with our well water which is only
slightly acidic.
That's too much detail for this list .. there's a great list for getting
this kind of info which someone has the link for. I hope they'll come along
and post that info.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to my neglect. I have started using something called Doctor's Picks which
get between my teeth easier than the thickness of toothpicks but it's the
same principle as flossing without the long strings. I also use probiotic
tablets (mine are Garden of Life) made for people with a tendency to
overgrowth of harmful bacteria. I also quit using mouthrinses because the
acidity of those create a temporary battling down of harmful bacteria but
then they come back much stronger because good bacteria in saliva (natural
enemies of harmful bacteria) have also been killed by acidic often also
including harsh alcohol. I rinse with bottled water rather than tap water
(often acidic too) unless I'm at home with our well water which is only
slightly acidic.
That's too much detail for this list .. there's a great list for getting
this kind of info which someone has the link for. I hope they'll come along
and post that info.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lylaw
I wore braces and nearly every other orthodontic device under the sun when I was a kid, and I never followed ANY of the protocols for diet or hygiene, and every single time I went back to the orthodontist/dentist (same person) they’d praise me for being so diligent because my teeth looked so good. so, needless to say, I didn’t/don’t have a lot of trust in the instructions that are given as mandates for various health care and dental concerns. braces are meant to straighten teeth – what does cleaning have to do with that? also, cleaning should not be painful, and if it’s uncomfortable, something should be done to alleviate the pain. my dentist used to give me nitrous oxide for cleanings when I was a kid. I am not necessarily advocating that, specifically, but painful dental procedures, forced on a child, are what lead to dental phobias – I know so many adults with such phobias and I have NO such issues, even though I had extensive dental and orthodontic work done. I also agree with others who have said that a year of unschooling is not enough to diffuse / deschool from control issues, and if you are continuing to struggle over this issue, it’s seriously hampering the deschooling process and thereby the unschooling experience.
there are so many choices in between telling someone their breath is foul and just not saying or doing anything. be kind. make requests. give information. sit back and let it go for a good long while. tell her it’s up to her and mean it. also, tell her that nobody *really* knows whether the braces “won’t work” because of hygiene issues, or whether lack of flossing (I have never flossed consistently and have stellar teeth now) WILL create issues or just might, and that some people defy the odds in terms of their health and lifestyle, and others fall victim to disease even with perfect practices. tell her your relationship is more important to you than her dental practices. and then ask her if there’s anything you can do to help make her dental situation more comfortable for her? and then really listen.
lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
there are so many choices in between telling someone their breath is foul and just not saying or doing anything. be kind. make requests. give information. sit back and let it go for a good long while. tell her it’s up to her and mean it. also, tell her that nobody *really* knows whether the braces “won’t work” because of hygiene issues, or whether lack of flossing (I have never flossed consistently and have stellar teeth now) WILL create issues or just might, and that some people defy the odds in terms of their health and lifestyle, and others fall victim to disease even with perfect practices. tell her your relationship is more important to you than her dental practices. and then ask her if there’s anything you can do to help make her dental situation more comfortable for her? and then really listen.
lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
<Sandra@...> wrote:
the original poster wrote:
---Meredith
>> Bad breath can be from things other than oral hygiene. Sour stomach,Sinus issues can cause bad breath, too, and there's a certain amount of correleation between sinus issues and tooth crowding - not that one causes the other but they both stem from a similar root.
> for one reason or another, or yeast imbalance.... things like that.
the original poster wrote:
>>the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't cleanHas he/she explained that? It sounds like smoke and mirrors, to me, to "get" your dd to brush. I'd do some fact-checking with someone who doesn't have a monetary interest in what goes on in your dds mouth before accepting that piece of "information" as anything like the truth.
> her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job
---Meredith
Rinelle
**My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she does
a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss
although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She
finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even
after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught
between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a
year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was
painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room --
shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her
teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as
much. They've said this in front of her. **
I had braces around the same age because of a serious overbite (my bottom
teeth were cutting into the gum at the top), and I never did 'care' for them
properly, or at least, as properly as the dentist thought I should. I
continued with the routine I had had before braces, which was to clean my
teeth before bed, and that was that.
Yes, once the braces came off I had to have a dozen or so fillings over a
couple of years, and it took quite a few years for me for my teeth to be
good again. (Some of that was due to the poor public dental service here in
Australia, which was all I could afford.)
But over all that time, not once did I blame my mum for not making me clean
my teeth, and to be honest, I'm glad, even in hindsight, that she let me do
it my way.
However, the braces did their job just fine, even without my care. I really
don't see how not brushing could affect the effectiveness of the braces
themselves? Only the condition of the teeth after they were removed.
Tamara
a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss
although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She
finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even
after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught
between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a
year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was
painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room --
shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her
teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as
much. They've said this in front of her. **
I had braces around the same age because of a serious overbite (my bottom
teeth were cutting into the gum at the top), and I never did 'care' for them
properly, or at least, as properly as the dentist thought I should. I
continued with the routine I had had before braces, which was to clean my
teeth before bed, and that was that.
Yes, once the braces came off I had to have a dozen or so fillings over a
couple of years, and it took quite a few years for me for my teeth to be
good again. (Some of that was due to the poor public dental service here in
Australia, which was all I could afford.)
But over all that time, not once did I blame my mum for not making me clean
my teeth, and to be honest, I'm glad, even in hindsight, that she let me do
it my way.
However, the braces did their job just fine, even without my care. I really
don't see how not brushing could affect the effectiveness of the braces
themselves? Only the condition of the teeth after they were removed.
Tamara
Sandra Dodd
-=-However, the braces did their job just fine, even without my care.
I really
don't see how not brushing could affect the effectiveness of the braces
themselves? Only the condition of the teeth after they were removed.-=-
One friend of ours didn't take care of his braces, and he left them on
at least a full year after they were supposed to have come off (maybe
two years) and there was damage to the surface where the braces had
been attached, because he wasn't cleaning around them.
We gave all our kids the option to have braces or not. Kirby didn't
really need them except for 'looks'--his two front teeth are
overlapped slightly by the teeth beside them. He opted not to.
Marty and Holly both needed them more, and chose to get them. They
were older than 11, though.
They both took care of them, especially Holly. As time went on there
were rubber bands to attach and wear. Both did that, especially
Holly. Later there were retainers to wear. I think Marty was better
at the retainer than Holly was. But they both did those things
without me reminding or bugging them, which might be why they did it
(in part). I wasn't reminding or bugging them. It was their thing.
I sometimes said a positive thing about being glad they were
remembering.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I really
don't see how not brushing could affect the effectiveness of the braces
themselves? Only the condition of the teeth after they were removed.-=-
One friend of ours didn't take care of his braces, and he left them on
at least a full year after they were supposed to have come off (maybe
two years) and there was damage to the surface where the braces had
been attached, because he wasn't cleaning around them.
We gave all our kids the option to have braces or not. Kirby didn't
really need them except for 'looks'--his two front teeth are
overlapped slightly by the teeth beside them. He opted not to.
Marty and Holly both needed them more, and chose to get them. They
were older than 11, though.
They both took care of them, especially Holly. As time went on there
were rubber bands to attach and wear. Both did that, especially
Holly. Later there were retainers to wear. I think Marty was better
at the retainer than Holly was. But they both did those things
without me reminding or bugging them, which might be why they did it
(in part). I wasn't reminding or bugging them. It was their thing.
I sometimes said a positive thing about being glad they were
remembering.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jennifer Schuelein
Might I suggest finding a dentist that will be more understanding and will want to work with your daughter more to make her happy and comfortable? If cleanings are uncomfortable both physically and mentally, then I can see why those would cause her anxiety.
She might also simply not be ready for braces at her age. 11 seems very young to me.My mother was pressured by every dentist we saw when I was young, to get braces. She denied them many times and by the age of 16 I had perfectly straight, white teeth all on my own.
Does your daughter understand why she needs to brush and floss? That she needs to do it for herself, not just you and the dentist? Also, taking care of teeth isn't just about aesthetics, but about overall health. I'd stress heart health, longevity and lay off the appearances and stuff about what others might think. Maybe she is feeling too much pressure. Maybe she wants them taken off so she's purposefully not caring for them. I'd have a heart to heart with your daughter to figure out exactly how she's feeling.
One thing I do with my son is I keep him company while he's brushing so he's not as bored. We used to have countdowns for mouthwash, too where I counted to 60 while he swished. He also has a toothbrush with built in timer. He likes the timed aspect of brushing b/c he has a definite end to the chore. I also offer to help him floss since he finds it difficult by himself.
She might also simply not be ready for braces at her age. 11 seems very young to me.My mother was pressured by every dentist we saw when I was young, to get braces. She denied them many times and by the age of 16 I had perfectly straight, white teeth all on my own.
Does your daughter understand why she needs to brush and floss? That she needs to do it for herself, not just you and the dentist? Also, taking care of teeth isn't just about aesthetics, but about overall health. I'd stress heart health, longevity and lay off the appearances and stuff about what others might think. Maybe she is feeling too much pressure. Maybe she wants them taken off so she's purposefully not caring for them. I'd have a heart to heart with your daughter to figure out exactly how she's feeling.
One thing I do with my son is I keep him company while he's brushing so he's not as bored. We used to have countdowns for mouthwash, too where I counted to 60 while he swished. He also has a toothbrush with built in timer. He likes the timed aspect of brushing b/c he has a definite end to the chore. I also offer to help him floss since he finds it difficult by himself.
--- In [email protected], "miriam" <miriyum1@...> wrote:
>
> My daughter (almost 12) and I have been unschooling for a little over a year. She has never had good hygiene habits and I've never been a big fusser over her cleaning routine since she's been big enough to do it for herself. She will clean herself up when I ask her to so that we can go in public without embarassment.
>
> My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room -- shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as much. They've said this in front of her.
>
> This is just about the only serious bone of contention between me and my daughter and the only time when I really feel like I'm being authoritarian and mean. I generally just ask her to go brush her teeth once or twice a day, but when I find she has not done so and has not even tried to floss, I get frustrated. I am trying to not let it rise to the level of an argument - but it has on occasion. Telling her that her breath is foul hurts her feelings, but often it is the only way to get her to do a good job of brushing - and I do only tell her that when it is true.
>
> Any suggestions for me? Should I just get over it and let her do what she wants with her own mouth? I just can't help feeling that she is still just too young to really understand the consequences of having cavities and gingivitus and an unnattractive and uncomfortable overbite. I don't want her to have to learn that from experience.
>
S.
*** My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room -- shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as much. They've said this in front of her.***
In my experience, it is common for an eleven-year-old to not give priority to cleanliness and hygiene. What has worked for my kids, and resulted in enthusiastic behavior toward brushing teeth is the children's Sonicare toothbrush. It has a timer that times for each quadrant in their mouth and shuts off when they're done. The ultrasonic toothbrushes do wonders. That being said, if you hear your daughter shouting in pain at the dentist, then it may be time to find a more gentle and caring dentist.
http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Sonicare-HX6311-02-Rechargeable/dp/B002CVTVUA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1289482401&sr=8-1
In my experience, it is common for an eleven-year-old to not give priority to cleanliness and hygiene. What has worked for my kids, and resulted in enthusiastic behavior toward brushing teeth is the children's Sonicare toothbrush. It has a timer that times for each quadrant in their mouth and shuts off when they're done. The ultrasonic toothbrushes do wonders. That being said, if you hear your daughter shouting in pain at the dentist, then it may be time to find a more gentle and caring dentist.
http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Sonicare-HX6311-02-Rechargeable/dp/B002CVTVUA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1289482401&sr=8-1
amylizkid1
My daughter, who is 7, does not enjoy brushing. I found my self resorting to guilt statements to get her to brush and I didn't like where the whole thing was going. Then I ran across this book. I have not ordered it yet so can't recommend it, but I have been getting the emails, and if nothing else it has helped me back off.
http://curetoothdecay.com/
I think I would offer to have the braces removed. It would probably be a huge relief for both of you.
~Amy K.
http://curetoothdecay.com/
I think I would offer to have the braces removed. It would probably be a huge relief for both of you.
~Amy K.
--- In [email protected], "miriam" <miriyum1@...> wrote:
>
> My daughter (almost 12) and I have been unschooling for a little over a year. She has never had good hygiene habits and I've never been a big fusser over her cleaning routine since she's been big enough to do it for herself. She will clean herself up when I ask her to so that we can go in public without embarassment.
>
> My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room -- shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as much. They've said this in front of her.
>
> This is just about the only serious bone of contention between me and my daughter and the only time when I really feel like I'm being authoritarian and mean. I generally just ask her to go brush her teeth once or twice a day, but when I find she has not done so and has not even tried to floss, I get frustrated. I am trying to not let it rise to the level of an argument - but it has on occasion. Telling her that her breath is foul hurts her feelings, but often it is the only way to get her to do a good job of brushing - and I do only tell her that when it is true.
>
> Any suggestions for me? Should I just get over it and let her do what she wants with her own mouth? I just can't help feeling that she is still just too young to really understand the consequences of having cavities and gingivitus and an unnattractive and uncomfortable overbite. I don't want her to have to learn that from experience.
>
ajcm1207
We have inexpensive electric toothbrushes (Spin Brushes, I think) for the kids. When we brush teeth, the kids choose a You Tube video to watch while I brush for them. They will choose a video about 2-3 minutes in length. When the video is over, the tooth brushing is also over.
I also found silicone bristle brushes intended for cleaning baby teeth. They are very soft and my son sometimes likes to chew on it when he's watching TV.
~andrea
I also found silicone bristle brushes intended for cleaning baby teeth. They are very soft and my son sometimes likes to chew on it when he's watching TV.
~andrea
--- In [email protected], "miriam" <miriyum1@...> wrote:
>
> My daughter (almost 12) and I have been unschooling for a little over a year. She has never had good hygiene habits and I've never been a big fusser over her cleaning routine since she's been big enough to do it for herself. She will clean herself up when I ask her to so that we can go in public without embarassment.
>
> My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room -- shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as much. They've said this in front of her.
>
> This is just about the only serious bone of contention between me and my daughter and the only time when I really feel like I'm being authoritarian and mean. I generally just ask her to go brush her teeth once or twice a day, but when I find she has not done so and has not even tried to floss, I get frustrated. I am trying to not let it rise to the level of an argument - but it has on occasion. Telling her that her breath is foul hurts her feelings, but often it is the only way to get her to do a good job of brushing - and I do only tell her that when it is true.
>
> Any suggestions for me? Should I just get over it and let her do what she wants with her own mouth? I just can't help feeling that she is still just too young to really understand the consequences of having cavities and gingivitus and an unnattractive and uncomfortable overbite. I don't want her to have to learn that from experience.
>
amylizkid1
I meant to also say, this website is all about how nutrition can heal your teeth. It could be very easy to go from harping on brushing teeth, to being the same way about eating the "right" way. So, I'm not encouraging that. I'm only meaning to say there are other things to think about when it comes to teeth.
I have shared some of the information with Emma. I am changing my diet little by little to see if it helps my own teeth. But I am just letting the info soak in, sharing what I learn if she is interested. It has led to some great discussions!
~Amy K.
I have shared some of the information with Emma. I am changing my diet little by little to see if it helps my own teeth. But I am just letting the info soak in, sharing what I learn if she is interested. It has led to some great discussions!
~Amy K.
--- In [email protected], "amylizkid1" <amylizkid1@...> wrote:
>
> My daughter, who is 7, does not enjoy brushing. I found my self resorting to guilt statements to get her to brush and I didn't like where the whole thing was going. Then I ran across this book. I have not ordered it yet so can't recommend it, but I have been getting the emails, and if nothing else it has helped me back off.
>
> http://curetoothdecay.com/
>
> I think I would offer to have the braces removed. It would probably be a huge relief for both of you.
>
> ~Amy K.
>
daisygrrrl72
HI- I can sympathize with you. My six year old had 10 cavities filled this year and my 2 year old had 4 and 2 "watch spots". Recently we bought a waterpik, which does about the same job as flossing, plus it is a great novelty for my older son. Also, I read "Kiss You Dentist Goodbye" and started using Closys, an antibacterial mouth rinse. The kids just swish it for 30 seconds and it is flavorless, but comes with peppermint oil (though I am sure you could put vanilla in there) to flavor it. It makes me feel so much better that it is almost impossible to get the now 3 year old. I feel like, as long as they swish, I can exhale my anger and frustration with the not brushing thing. It enables me to let Sage brush his teeth the way he does it. Oh, also the Closys does wonders for bad breath. Here is a link for Closys http://www.amazon.com/Closys-Antiseptic-Rinse-Flavor-Control/dp/B001ET7L8K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1289490177&sr=8-1 And also here is a link to the website for "Kiss Your Dentist Goodbye" https://www.zelliescleanwhiteteeth.com// I hope this helps.
Laura
Laura
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and
> she does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much
> refuses to floss although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it
> easier for her. She finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. -=-
>
> The braces and the unschooling are both about a year, and so I don't
> think the unschooling benefits will have kicked in before she got
> braces.
>
> If it wasn't her option to get braces, that might be part of why she's
> not working harder to keep them up. Also, she's kind of young for
> braces, isn't she? It's easier for teens to take care of them than
> younger kids. And it's easier for kids who were in on the decision to
> be invested in the project.
>
> -=- I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a year
> because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was
> painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room --
> shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean
> her teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist
> has said as much. They've said this in front of her. -=-
>
> You don't "have to" take her in. Don't think of it as her causing you
> not to have choices.
> http://sandradodd.com/haveto
>
> Maybe find a place that will give her a sedative or nitrous before
> cleaning her teeth if it's really painful.
>
> Maybe offer to help her floss or clean. You could play dental
> hygienist sometimes at home.
>
> Bad breath can be from things other than oral hygiene. Sour stomach,
> for one reason or another, or yeast imbalance.... things like that.
> Please don't settle on the first assumption that comes along.
> Mouthwashes might be fun. Rinsing with baking soda and water,
> sometimes, might be fun.
>
> Don't think unschooling isn't working because of something such as
> you've described.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
daisygrrrl72
I forgot, we also use Xylitol made from bitch bark. It is like sugar, but I mix it with water and the kids drink it throughout the day. It is good as combating bad bacteria. The website talks about this I think.
Laura
Laura
--- In [email protected], "lylaw" <lylaw@...> wrote:
>
> I wore braces and nearly every other orthodontic device under the sun when I was a kid, and I never followed ANY of the protocols for diet or hygiene, and every single time I went back to the orthodontist/dentist (same person) theyâd praise me for being so diligent because my teeth looked so good. so, needless to say, I didnât/donât have a lot of trust in the instructions that are given as mandates for various health care and dental concerns. braces are meant to straighten teeth â" what does cleaning have to do with that? also, cleaning should not be painful, and if itâs uncomfortable, something should be done to alleviate the pain. my dentist used to give me nitrous oxide for cleanings when I was a kid. I am not necessarily advocating that, specifically, but painful dental procedures, forced on a child, are what lead to dental phobias â" I know so many adults with such phobias and I have NO such issues, even though I had extensive dental and orthodontic work done. I also agree with others who have said that a year of unschooling is not enough to diffuse / deschool from control issues, and if you are continuing to struggle over this issue, itâs seriously hampering the deschooling process and thereby the unschooling experience.
>
> there are so many choices in between telling someone their breath is foul and just not saying or doing anything. be kind. make requests. give information. sit back and let it go for a good long while. tell her itâs up to her and mean it. also, tell her that nobody *really* knows whether the braces âwonât workâ because of hygiene issues, or whether lack of flossing (I have never flossed consistently and have stellar teeth now) WILL create issues or just might, and that some people defy the odds in terms of their health and lifestyle, and others fall victim to disease even with perfect practices. tell her your relationship is more important to you than her dental practices. and then ask her if thereâs anything you can do to help make her dental situation more comfortable for her? and then really listen.
>
> lyla
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
The best use of xylitol for teeth is NOT drinking but having it either swish in
te mouth for a few *minutes* or use some mint or gum so it stays in the
mouth for a while.
Drinking it is NOT as good and some people are very sensitive and can
cause diarrhea and upset if not introduced slowly.
This needs to be done at least 5 times a day.
You can read more at xyitol.org
I do highly recommend it for creating a environment in the mouth were the
bacteria cannot survive.
It will certainly help people that does not like brushing.
Two websites with great gum and mint:
http://www.epicdental.com/
http://www.xlear.com/spry.aspx
Having cavities is not just not brushing and flossing.
Actually brushing and flossing does NOT guarantee cavity free teeth.
I have done a lot of research on it for many years and my conclusion is that
it is a combination of mouth environment (an acidic pH vs a neutral/alkaline ),
the presence
of cavity causing bacteria, genes ( the biggest), health and nutrition, hygiene.
Being that diet and hygiene at minor variables here if they even are!!!!
Take someone , like my uncle or my husband's friend Gene.
The have very poor hygiene habits, never ever floss, eat sweets all the time,
one even smokes.
One is in his 60's and the other 40's.
One has ONE cavity and the other NONE.
If their mouth environment is never acidic and their teeth and enamel super
strong because they were born that way than they have no problems.
Take me that always brushed and took great care of hygiene and did not like
candy and sweets as a child.
I have cavities every where.
Actually taking to my dentist the other day I realized that my cavities pretty
much stabilizd in my 20's. I have had not new cavities since I was 20 or even
earlier. He said he has seen this a lot.
So something must have changed at that time.
There are two very good lists about children and cavities.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/veryyoungkidsteeth/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/alternativekidsteeth/
There are lots of info in the archives, link, database of those lists.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
te mouth for a few *minutes* or use some mint or gum so it stays in the
mouth for a while.
Drinking it is NOT as good and some people are very sensitive and can
cause diarrhea and upset if not introduced slowly.
This needs to be done at least 5 times a day.
You can read more at xyitol.org
I do highly recommend it for creating a environment in the mouth were the
bacteria cannot survive.
It will certainly help people that does not like brushing.
Two websites with great gum and mint:
http://www.epicdental.com/
http://www.xlear.com/spry.aspx
Having cavities is not just not brushing and flossing.
Actually brushing and flossing does NOT guarantee cavity free teeth.
I have done a lot of research on it for many years and my conclusion is that
it is a combination of mouth environment (an acidic pH vs a neutral/alkaline ),
the presence
of cavity causing bacteria, genes ( the biggest), health and nutrition, hygiene.
Being that diet and hygiene at minor variables here if they even are!!!!
Take someone , like my uncle or my husband's friend Gene.
The have very poor hygiene habits, never ever floss, eat sweets all the time,
one even smokes.
One is in his 60's and the other 40's.
One has ONE cavity and the other NONE.
If their mouth environment is never acidic and their teeth and enamel super
strong because they were born that way than they have no problems.
Take me that always brushed and took great care of hygiene and did not like
candy and sweets as a child.
I have cavities every where.
Actually taking to my dentist the other day I realized that my cavities pretty
much stabilizd in my 20's. I have had not new cavities since I was 20 or even
earlier. He said he has seen this a lot.
So something must have changed at that time.
There are two very good lists about children and cavities.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/veryyoungkidsteeth/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/alternativekidsteeth/
There are lots of info in the archives, link, database of those lists.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Herb
I have a few suggestion for dealing with a child and braces.
I have a daughter with braces. She's willing to brush once a day, but doesn't like flossing. She will let me floss for her while she watches TV. Are there any incentives you can think of that would help your daughter more willingly brush and/or floss? Will she let you?
My son had pink eye one time. He hated for good reason the eye drop medicine. I paid him money each time we did it. He still fought me, just because it was instinctual but he was willing to let me hold his head still and eye lid open.
Xylitol gum is suppose to help prevent cavities. A dentist told me about this. I found a link below where there's information about the benefits.
http://www.cda.org/popup/xylitol
My daughter uses the gum on her braces if they are bothering or cutting into her mouth. The gum is sitting right on the tooth and hopefully preventing cavities.
Chewing artificially sweetened gum even without xylitol is suppose to help clean teeth. It increase saliva and I'm thinking... pulls food out of cracks. The increase saliva is suppose to help prevent cavities. It might also help with bad breath. The xylitol can be an added benefit to the rest. Some gums might stick to braces, but I think the sugar free ones are OK.
Another suggestion I have is to ask about the consequences of waiting on the braces. My teeth and my daughters would have been so bad as to make eating difficult, so it was more of a necessity early on. Your daughter might be able to wait till she's older. You might want to get a couple of opinions about that.
Meg
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have a daughter with braces. She's willing to brush once a day, but doesn't like flossing. She will let me floss for her while she watches TV. Are there any incentives you can think of that would help your daughter more willingly brush and/or floss? Will she let you?
My son had pink eye one time. He hated for good reason the eye drop medicine. I paid him money each time we did it. He still fought me, just because it was instinctual but he was willing to let me hold his head still and eye lid open.
Xylitol gum is suppose to help prevent cavities. A dentist told me about this. I found a link below where there's information about the benefits.
http://www.cda.org/popup/xylitol
My daughter uses the gum on her braces if they are bothering or cutting into her mouth. The gum is sitting right on the tooth and hopefully preventing cavities.
Chewing artificially sweetened gum even without xylitol is suppose to help clean teeth. It increase saliva and I'm thinking... pulls food out of cracks. The increase saliva is suppose to help prevent cavities. It might also help with bad breath. The xylitol can be an added benefit to the rest. Some gums might stick to braces, but I think the sugar free ones are OK.
Another suggestion I have is to ask about the consequences of waiting on the braces. My teeth and my daughters would have been so bad as to make eating difficult, so it was more of a necessity early on. Your daughter might be able to wait till she's older. You might want to get a couple of opinions about that.
Meg
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
>>> I forgot, we also use Xylitol made from bitch bark. It is like sugar,but I mix it with water and the kids drink it throughout the day. It is
good as combating bad bacteria. The website talks about this I think.<<<
I don't normally write in about this kind of thing but this one was funny
and kind of cute. :) It's birch bark.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michelle Hogan
Hilarious! I didn't even notice!
________________________________
From: k <katherand@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Fri, November 12, 2010 9:42:37 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Need some help with encouraging hygiene
good as combating bad bacteria. The website talks about this I think.<<<
I don't normally write in about this kind of thing but this one was funny
and kind of cute. :) It's birch bark.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
________________________________
From: k <katherand@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Fri, November 12, 2010 9:42:37 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Need some help with encouraging hygiene
>>> I forgot, we also use Xylitol made from bitch bark. It is like sugar,but I mix it with water and the kids drink it throughout the day. It is
good as combating bad bacteria. The website talks about this I think.<<<
I don't normally write in about this kind of thing but this one was funny
and kind of cute. :) It's birch bark.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dola dasgupta-banerji
My son is almost five and his excuse for not wanting to brush is simple. He
has currently transformed himself into a walking, roaring, chicken eating
T-Rex. So he tells me that has anyone ever heard of a T-Rex brushing!!!!!!!
Dola
has currently transformed himself into a walking, roaring, chicken eating
T-Rex. So he tells me that has anyone ever heard of a T-Rex brushing!!!!!!!
Dola
On Thu, Nov 11, 2010 at 7:05 PM, S. <staceykellyga@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> *** My problem is that she is wearing braces now (almost a year) and she
> does a very poor job of cleaning her teeth. She pretty much refuses to floss
> although I've bought every imaginable tool to make it easier for her. She
> finds it awkward and boring and won't do it. Her breath is often foul even
> after brushing because she won't clean out the food and plaque caught
> between her teeth. I have now to take her in for 4 professional cleanings a
> year because of her poor hygiene. At the last tooth cleaning, which was
> painful for her (I heard her shout all the way in the waiting room --
> shudder ---) the dentist came out and told me that if she didn't clean her
> teeth properly the braces wouldn't do their job. The orthodonist has said as
> much. They've said this in front of her.***
>
> In my experience, it is common for an eleven-year-old to not give priority
> to cleanliness and hygiene. What has worked for my kids, and resulted in
> enthusiastic behavior toward brushing teeth is the children's Sonicare
> toothbrush. It has a timer that times for each quadrant in their mouth and
> shuts off when they're done. The ultrasonic toothbrushes do wonders. That
> being said, if you hear your daughter shouting in pain at the dentist, then
> it may be time to find a more gentle and caring dentist.
>
>
> http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Sonicare-HX6311-02-Rechargeable/dp/B002CVTVUA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1289482401&sr=8-1
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-My son is almost five and his excuse for not wanting to brush is
simple. He
has currently transformed himself into a walking, roaring, chicken
eating
T-Rex. So he tells me that has anyone ever heard of a T-Rex
brushing!!!!!!!-=-
Maybe you could cut apple slices into the shapes of chickens and get
him to eat those. Or hardish cheese-chickens. Something that would
help his teeth. :-)
Sandra
simple. He
has currently transformed himself into a walking, roaring, chicken
eating
T-Rex. So he tells me that has anyone ever heard of a T-Rex
brushing!!!!!!!-=-
Maybe you could cut apple slices into the shapes of chickens and get
him to eat those. Or hardish cheese-chickens. Something that would
help his teeth. :-)
Sandra
sheeboo2
------. So he tells me that has anyone ever heard of a T-Rex brushing-----
Sometimes I live with a velociraptor ;-). You could buy or make red mouthwash. T-Rexs may like swishing around a mouthful of "blood."
B
Sometimes I live with a velociraptor ;-). You could buy or make red mouthwash. T-Rexs may like swishing around a mouthful of "blood."
B
alexandriapalonia
> -=-My son is almost five and his excuse for not wanting to brush isBy that logic, one might point out that the T-Rex never ate dessert, either.
> simple. He
> has currently transformed himself into a walking, roaring, chicken
> eating
> T-Rex. So he tells me that has anyone ever heard of a T-Rex
> brushing!!!!!!!-=-
:-)
Andrea
dezignarob
==== Any suggestions for me? Should I just get over it and let her do what she wants with her own mouth? I just can't help feeling that she is still just too young to really understand the consequences of having cavities and gingivitus and an unnattractive and uncomfortable overbite. I don't want her to have to learn that from experience.====
Has anyone suggested having the braces removed today, and allowing her to make the choice in the future about braces? What about Invisalign in the future?
Just because they are on does not mean they have to stay on.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.robyncoburn.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
Has anyone suggested having the braces removed today, and allowing her to make the choice in the future about braces? What about Invisalign in the future?
Just because they are on does not mean they have to stay on.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.robyncoburn.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com