Starting out
Ivalee Hackney
Hello everyone. My name is Ivalee and I have a 22 month old son and a 6
month old son. I've been a member of this group for several months now
and have gained a lot of insight into unschooling and just a better way
to interact with my children and people in general. I don't have as
much time to read as I would like but am looking for some guidance to
starting out with younger children in regards to unschooling and just
dealing with the challenges that can come with the lack of communication
at this age. When I do attempt to find what I am looking for on
Sandra's site I can get so involved in reading other interesting topics
(that also often relate) that I get sidetracked and don't actually get
to the info I am seeking.
Before finding Unschooling I had
already won my husband over to the idea of Homeschooling. The other day
I mentioned Unschooling and wanting to do more research and find out
our state laws and he made it clear that he was not comfortable with
it. I made a statement to him that, so far, according to our
pediatrician, our son seems quite advanced for his age and that, to
date, I've not cracked a book or used any curriculum. I decided to stop
there and try some quiet research and approach him again with more
evidence at a later time.
What I am looking for assistance with is:
- Where to find my state regulations surrounding Unschooling. We live in Lakeland which is in the Central Florida area.
-
Possible other Unschoolers near me. (From my research I see a group in
the Bradenton area which I am going to contact but they are about a two
hour drive from us.)
- How to communicate positively with a toddler
in instances where he may hurt himself if I don't intervene, without
saying "No" or "Don't." (I try to redirect him mostly but would love
additional material to read for myself but also to pass on to my husband
and mother. Both of them seem to use No more and don't seem to realize
how damaging it can be. I want "No" or "Stop" to really mean something
in a time when it might be necessary for safety rather than an everyday
thing.
Thank you in advance for the guidance.
Ivalee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
month old son. I've been a member of this group for several months now
and have gained a lot of insight into unschooling and just a better way
to interact with my children and people in general. I don't have as
much time to read as I would like but am looking for some guidance to
starting out with younger children in regards to unschooling and just
dealing with the challenges that can come with the lack of communication
at this age. When I do attempt to find what I am looking for on
Sandra's site I can get so involved in reading other interesting topics
(that also often relate) that I get sidetracked and don't actually get
to the info I am seeking.
Before finding Unschooling I had
already won my husband over to the idea of Homeschooling. The other day
I mentioned Unschooling and wanting to do more research and find out
our state laws and he made it clear that he was not comfortable with
it. I made a statement to him that, so far, according to our
pediatrician, our son seems quite advanced for his age and that, to
date, I've not cracked a book or used any curriculum. I decided to stop
there and try some quiet research and approach him again with more
evidence at a later time.
What I am looking for assistance with is:
- Where to find my state regulations surrounding Unschooling. We live in Lakeland which is in the Central Florida area.
-
Possible other Unschoolers near me. (From my research I see a group in
the Bradenton area which I am going to contact but they are about a two
hour drive from us.)
- How to communicate positively with a toddler
in instances where he may hurt himself if I don't intervene, without
saying "No" or "Don't." (I try to redirect him mostly but would love
additional material to read for myself but also to pass on to my husband
and mother. Both of them seem to use No more and don't seem to realize
how damaging it can be. I want "No" or "Stop" to really mean something
in a time when it might be necessary for safety rather than an everyday
thing.
Thank you in advance for the guidance.
Ivalee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
aldq75
HSLDA has a quick summary of the laws for each state:
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
--- In [email protected], Ivalee Hackney <horizonsmassage@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hello everyone. My name is Ivalee and I have a 22 month old son and a 6
> month old son. I've been a member of this group for several months now
> and have gained a lot of insight into unschooling and just a better way
> to interact with my children and people in general. I don't have as
> much time to read as I would like but am looking for some guidance to
> starting out with younger children in regards to unschooling and just
> dealing with the challenges that can come with the lack of communication
> at this age. When I do attempt to find what I am looking for on
> Sandra's site I can get so involved in reading other interesting topics
> (that also often relate) that I get sidetracked and don't actually get
> to the info I am seeking.
>
> Before finding Unschooling I had
> already won my husband over to the idea of Homeschooling. The other day
> I mentioned Unschooling and wanting to do more research and find out
> our state laws and he made it clear that he was not comfortable with
> it. I made a statement to him that, so far, according to our
> pediatrician, our son seems quite advanced for his age and that, to
> date, I've not cracked a book or used any curriculum. I decided to stop
> there and try some quiet research and approach him again with more
> evidence at a later time.
>
> What I am looking for assistance with is:
> - Where to find my state regulations surrounding Unschooling. We live in Lakeland which is in the Central Florida area.
> -
> Possible other Unschoolers near me. (From my research I see a group in
> the Bradenton area which I am going to contact but they are about a two
> hour drive from us.)
> - How to communicate positively with a toddler
> in instances where he may hurt himself if I don't intervene, without
> saying "No" or "Don't." (I try to redirect him mostly but would love
> additional material to read for myself but also to pass on to my husband
> and mother. Both of them seem to use No more and don't seem to realize
> how damaging it can be. I want "No" or "Stop" to really mean something
> in a time when it might be necessary for safety rather than an everyday
> thing.
>
> Thank you in advance for the guidance.
>
> Ivalee
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
plaidpanties666
Ivalee Hackney <horizonsmassage@...> wrote:
What kinds of situations are coming up? Playground stuff? Be right there with him, close enough, ready enough that if he slips you've got him. Resist the urge to socialize with other adults when you have a busy, active child who needs one-on-one support, but realize other adults may not do the same.
Is he getting into things at your mother's house, maybe? It might be better to stay away for awhile, only go over when you can stick to him like glue and help him explore and let him know what the perils and boundaries are. If grandam doesn't want her knick-knacks touched or furniture climbed on, respect that. That may mean asking grandma to meet you other places for awhile, so that your little guy can run around without hearing so many "nos" - be gentle and friendly and do the inviting "come join us at..." and maybe let grandma know that you want her to "spoil" him to her hearts content, and leave any "discipline" to you.
All that being said, there's no special unschooling rule like "never say no" - sometimes "no" and "don't" are the best responses in the moment!
---Meredith
>> - How to communicate positively with a toddler...It helps a whole lot to step away from the idea of telling or explaining with toddlers. Look and listen and learn to predict - learn to understand what he's already communicating and help him get his needs met before he's in the position of using less wonderful tactics like yelling or hitting.
> in instances where he may hurt himself if I don't intervene, withoutThe trouble is, you can't *make* other people be more aware and proactive. The best you can do is set things up for as much success as possible.
> saying "No" or "Don't." (I try to redirect him mostly but would love
> additional material to read for myself but also to pass on to my husband
> and mother. Both of them seem to use No more and don't seem to realize
> how damaging it can be.
What kinds of situations are coming up? Playground stuff? Be right there with him, close enough, ready enough that if he slips you've got him. Resist the urge to socialize with other adults when you have a busy, active child who needs one-on-one support, but realize other adults may not do the same.
Is he getting into things at your mother's house, maybe? It might be better to stay away for awhile, only go over when you can stick to him like glue and help him explore and let him know what the perils and boundaries are. If grandam doesn't want her knick-knacks touched or furniture climbed on, respect that. That may mean asking grandma to meet you other places for awhile, so that your little guy can run around without hearing so many "nos" - be gentle and friendly and do the inviting "come join us at..." and maybe let grandma know that you want her to "spoil" him to her hearts content, and leave any "discipline" to you.
All that being said, there's no special unschooling rule like "never say no" - sometimes "no" and "don't" are the best responses in the moment!
---Meredith
Deborah McKee Kelly
You might also try the Always Unschooled yahoo group -- it tends to be more
geared toward those of us with little kids who aren't "school age" yet. I
have an 18 month old and a 4 month old, and I have been on these lists
already for a year -- there is a lot to learn!
And get this Sandra Dodd mantra quickly into your repertoire: "Read a
little, try a little, wait awhile, watch."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
geared toward those of us with little kids who aren't "school age" yet. I
have an 18 month old and a 4 month old, and I have been on these lists
already for a year -- there is a lot to learn!
And get this Sandra Dodd mantra quickly into your repertoire: "Read a
little, try a little, wait awhile, watch."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- I don't have as much time to read as I would like but am looking
for some guidance to
starting out with younger children in regards to unschooling and just
dealing with the challenges that can come with the lack of communication
at this age. -=-
How did you communicate with them before they could understand
anything at all? It's a continuum. Mainly don't expect them to
understand things they can't understand yet (developmentally or
linguistically) any more than you would expect a baby to.
-=-When I do attempt to find what I am looking for on
Sandra's site I can get so involved in reading other interesting topics
(that also often relate) that I get sidetracked and don't actually get
to the info I am seeking. -=-
But that's good. That's how natural learning works.
I used to have a really hard time looking something up in the
dictionary without reading for fifteen minutes and getting on some
wholly different tangent and forgetting what i picked the dictionary
up for in the first place. Especially dictionaries with
illustrations. With google, I can search for the word and
"definition" and not see anything except that. I kind of miss the
paper dictionary, sometimes.
When unschooling gets going, your child will learn that same way--not
linearly. Swirlingly. :0)
-=-I made a statement to him that, so far, according to our
pediatrician, our son seems quite advanced for his age and that, to
date, I've not cracked a book or used any curriculum. I decided to stop
there and try some quiet research and approach him again with more
evidence at a later time. -=-
This page is a great one your husband might appreciate
http://sandradodd.com/pam/principles
and the reverse of that is
http://sandradodd.com/learnnothingday
For other local groups try here:
http://sandradodd.com/world
-=-- How to communicate positively with a toddler
in instances where he may hurt himself if I don't intervene, without
saying "No" or "Don't." (I try to redirect him mostly but would love
additional material to read for myself but also to pass on to my husband
and mother. Both of them seem to use No more and don't seem to realize
how damaging it can be. I want "No" or "Stop" to really mean something
in a time when it might be necessary for safety rather than an everyday
thing.-=-
Don't try to train your mother or husband any more than you train your
child. First, see the evidence for yourself in your own child, and
then point that evidence out to them gradually.
You could say to the toddler, "Hey, are you trying to get that open?"
and then if it's a safe thing to open, say "Can I help you?" or "It
has a latch--look. Lift this thing up." Or if it's not safe to open,
you could explain why, but find something similarly interesting that
he CAN open. See it as curiosity and learning.
If learning is your primary goal, and if you are your child's learning
partner, then the "yes" is "Yes I'll help you if I can," not "Yes, do
whatever you want."
If a child is walking ahead of you and there's a street or parking
lot, you could say "Wait for me." That's what we say to our dog,
actually. We don't have to say it to the kids. Our dog stops on
"wait for me" and goes on "okay, let's go." We didn't "train her" but
we did it consistently and she figured it out, because it made sense,
and she was getting to do what she wanted to do, which was be with us
and everybody being calm and happy. Kids want that too. They want
to be able to explore the world in the company of calm, happy people
who know more about it than they do.
http://sandradodd.com/youngchildren has lots of ideas.
http://sandradodd.com/beginning is a better starting place for you
than a general ramble around the site.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
for some guidance to
starting out with younger children in regards to unschooling and just
dealing with the challenges that can come with the lack of communication
at this age. -=-
How did you communicate with them before they could understand
anything at all? It's a continuum. Mainly don't expect them to
understand things they can't understand yet (developmentally or
linguistically) any more than you would expect a baby to.
-=-When I do attempt to find what I am looking for on
Sandra's site I can get so involved in reading other interesting topics
(that also often relate) that I get sidetracked and don't actually get
to the info I am seeking. -=-
But that's good. That's how natural learning works.
I used to have a really hard time looking something up in the
dictionary without reading for fifteen minutes and getting on some
wholly different tangent and forgetting what i picked the dictionary
up for in the first place. Especially dictionaries with
illustrations. With google, I can search for the word and
"definition" and not see anything except that. I kind of miss the
paper dictionary, sometimes.
When unschooling gets going, your child will learn that same way--not
linearly. Swirlingly. :0)
-=-I made a statement to him that, so far, according to our
pediatrician, our son seems quite advanced for his age and that, to
date, I've not cracked a book or used any curriculum. I decided to stop
there and try some quiet research and approach him again with more
evidence at a later time. -=-
This page is a great one your husband might appreciate
http://sandradodd.com/pam/principles
and the reverse of that is
http://sandradodd.com/learnnothingday
For other local groups try here:
http://sandradodd.com/world
-=-- How to communicate positively with a toddler
in instances where he may hurt himself if I don't intervene, without
saying "No" or "Don't." (I try to redirect him mostly but would love
additional material to read for myself but also to pass on to my husband
and mother. Both of them seem to use No more and don't seem to realize
how damaging it can be. I want "No" or "Stop" to really mean something
in a time when it might be necessary for safety rather than an everyday
thing.-=-
Don't try to train your mother or husband any more than you train your
child. First, see the evidence for yourself in your own child, and
then point that evidence out to them gradually.
You could say to the toddler, "Hey, are you trying to get that open?"
and then if it's a safe thing to open, say "Can I help you?" or "It
has a latch--look. Lift this thing up." Or if it's not safe to open,
you could explain why, but find something similarly interesting that
he CAN open. See it as curiosity and learning.
If learning is your primary goal, and if you are your child's learning
partner, then the "yes" is "Yes I'll help you if I can," not "Yes, do
whatever you want."
If a child is walking ahead of you and there's a street or parking
lot, you could say "Wait for me." That's what we say to our dog,
actually. We don't have to say it to the kids. Our dog stops on
"wait for me" and goes on "okay, let's go." We didn't "train her" but
we did it consistently and she figured it out, because it made sense,
and she was getting to do what she wanted to do, which was be with us
and everybody being calm and happy. Kids want that too. They want
to be able to explore the world in the company of calm, happy people
who know more about it than they do.
http://sandradodd.com/youngchildren has lots of ideas.
http://sandradodd.com/beginning is a better starting place for you
than a general ramble around the site.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
HSLDA has a quick summary of the laws for each state:
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
Other than that page, get out of that site before they scare you with
their political/conservative-religious nonsense.
And do NOT send them any money.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
Other than that page, get out of that site before they scare you with
their political/conservative-religious nonsense.
And do NOT send them any money.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lylaw
the a to z homeschooling site has law info for each state:
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/directory/Legalities.htm
lyla
From: Sandra Dodd
Sent: Friday, October 01, 2010 1:53 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Starting out
HSLDA has a quick summary of the laws for each state:
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
Other than that page, get out of that site before they scare you with
their political/conservative-religious nonsense.
And do NOT send them any money.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/directory/Legalities.htm
lyla
From: Sandra Dodd
Sent: Friday, October 01, 2010 1:53 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Starting out
HSLDA has a quick summary of the laws for each state:
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
Other than that page, get out of that site before they scare you with
their political/conservative-religious nonsense.
And do NOT send them any money.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
aldq75
Is there a similar site that presents the information for all 50 states as neatly as HSLDA? Their clickable map makes it so easy to find the information.
Andrea Q
Andrea Q
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> HSLDA has a quick summary of the laws for each state:
>
> http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
>
> Other than that page, get out of that site before they scare you with
> their political/conservative-religious nonsense.
> And do NOT send them any money.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
I don't mind that page being linked here, but would appreciate it
being marked off as something not really in favor of unschooling. If
you could disclaim it, I don't mind the link. (If you support it,
I'm willing to disclaim it each time. :-))
being marked off as something not really in favor of unschooling. If
you could disclaim it, I don't mind the link. (If you support it,
I'm willing to disclaim it each time. :-))
aldq75
Oh, I will definitely add a disclaimer the next time I post it! I would love to find a site that had that handy clickable map that isn't HSLDA.
Andrea Q
Andrea Q
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> I don't mind that page being linked here, but would appreciate it
> being marked off as something not really in favor of unschooling. If
> you could disclaim it, I don't mind the link. (If you support it,
> I'm willing to disclaim it each time. :-))
>
indywhited
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
http://www.homeschoollegal.com/
It's not a map, but a little drop down list to the right side near the top of the screen.
The site exists, as far as I can tell, to sell their 'how to homeschool legally' workbooks, but there is info there that is free and accessible.
Do they support unschooling? I don't know.
This is in their FAQ section:
"7. Do you have a religious or political affiliation?
Visitors to www.Home-School-Inc.com and www.HomeSchoolLegal.com and affiliated sites come from all over the United States, and the world, and hold a variety of beliefs. We seek to assist them all and will never prefer the agenda of one group of homeschoolers over another. We share a common passion: educating our children with freedom and integrity. We view that as an inclusive concept, not an excluding one."
>Homeschool Legal has info on homeschooling in each state in the US as well.
> I don't mind that page being linked here, but would appreciate it
> being marked off as something not really in favor of unschooling. If
> you could disclaim it, I don't mind the link. (If you support it,
> I'm willing to disclaim it each time. :-))
>
http://www.homeschoollegal.com/
It's not a map, but a little drop down list to the right side near the top of the screen.
The site exists, as far as I can tell, to sell their 'how to homeschool legally' workbooks, but there is info there that is free and accessible.
Do they support unschooling? I don't know.
This is in their FAQ section:
"7. Do you have a religious or political affiliation?
Visitors to www.Home-School-Inc.com and www.HomeSchoolLegal.com and affiliated sites come from all over the United States, and the world, and hold a variety of beliefs. We seek to assist them all and will never prefer the agenda of one group of homeschoolers over another. We share a common passion: educating our children with freedom and integrity. We view that as an inclusive concept, not an excluding one."
Robin Bentley
A better site is: http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/
Here's the link to Florida's laws and regs, in full. http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/laws/blFL.htm
Anne's site has links to homeschooling groups in your area.
It's free of fear-mongering, too!
Robin B.
Here's the link to Florida's laws and regs, in full. http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/laws/blFL.htm
Anne's site has links to homeschooling groups in your area.
It's free of fear-mongering, too!
Robin B.
On Oct 1, 2010, at 12:11 PM, aldq75 wrote:
> HSLDA has a quick summary of the laws for each state:
>
> http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
>
lylaw
I posted that yesterday:
"the a to z homeschooling site has law info for each state:
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/directory/Legalities.htm"
there's the link to the legal section, and there;s a list of states to the left. I only say this because it seems to me that many of my posts are not making it through to the list? if it's just cross posting without reading, of course, that happens, but I am wondering if people are not seeing my posts?
lyla
From: Robin Bentley
Sent: Saturday, October 02, 2010 11:18 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Starting out
A better site is: http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/
Here's the link to Florida's laws and regs, in full. http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/laws/blFL.htm
Anne's site has links to homeschooling groups in your area.
It's free of fear-mongering, too!
Robin B.
"the a to z homeschooling site has law info for each state:
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/directory/Legalities.htm"
there's the link to the legal section, and there;s a list of states to the left. I only say this because it seems to me that many of my posts are not making it through to the list? if it's just cross posting without reading, of course, that happens, but I am wondering if people are not seeing my posts?
lyla
From: Robin Bentley
Sent: Saturday, October 02, 2010 11:18 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Starting out
A better site is: http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/
Here's the link to Florida's laws and regs, in full. http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/laws/blFL.htm
Anne's site has links to homeschooling groups in your area.
It's free of fear-mongering, too!
Robin B.
On Oct 1, 2010, at 12:11 PM, aldq75 wrote:
> HSLDA has a quick summary of the laws for each state:
>
> http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
I hadn't read the whole thread yet. That's all!
Robin B.
Robin B.
On Oct 2, 2010, at 11:26 AM, lylaw wrote:
> I posted that yesterday:
> "the a to z homeschooling site has law info for each state:
>
lylaw
ok whew. I didn't mean to call you out, just this has happened with 4-5 posts of mine lately so I got to wondering
From: Robin Bentley
Sent: Saturday, October 02, 2010 11:46 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Starting out
I hadn't read the whole thread yet. That's all!
Robin B.
From: Robin Bentley
Sent: Saturday, October 02, 2010 11:46 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Starting out
I hadn't read the whole thread yet. That's all!
Robin B.
On Oct 2, 2010, at 11:26 AM, lylaw wrote:
> I posted that yesterday:
> "the a to z homeschooling site has law info for each state:
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]