Focus on your kids
Sandra Dodd
"Unschooling parents need to let go of looking at the path and focus on
their kids. What helps unschooling is supporting whatever kids are
driven to do and not driving kids to do what's good for people to do."
Joyce Fetteroll wrote that. I'm starting a new thread to honor it. :-)
I think it will be a great help to those who are confused about how to
unschool. Look at your child. Don't do what will harm. Do what will
bring joy, and peace, and new experiences, but not at what you think
another unschooler would do so much as how another unschooler would
think about how to interact with children.
No one else had Kirby, Marty and Holly. I didn't have other people's
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me.
Sandra
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their kids. What helps unschooling is supporting whatever kids are
driven to do and not driving kids to do what's good for people to do."
Joyce Fetteroll wrote that. I'm starting a new thread to honor it. :-)
I think it will be a great help to those who are confused about how to
unschool. Look at your child. Don't do what will harm. Do what will
bring joy, and peace, and new experiences, but not at what you think
another unschooler would do so much as how another unschooler would
think about how to interact with children.
No one else had Kirby, Marty and Holly. I didn't have other people's
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me.
Sandra
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Maisha Khalfani
Thank you for this post, Sandra. I definitely needed to hear it today.
Maisha Khalfani
<http://7freespirits.blogspot.com/> 7 Free Spirits
Follow our adventures through life
<http://ladymfitness.blogspot.com/> Lady M Fitness
Health and Fitness for Women of All Ages
<http://earthspiritbooksandgifts.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Books and Gifts
A bookstore for the Open Minded
No one else had Kirby, Marty and Holly. I didn't have other people's
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
<http://7freespirits.blogspot.com/> 7 Free Spirits
Follow our adventures through life
<http://ladymfitness.blogspot.com/> Lady M Fitness
Health and Fitness for Women of All Ages
<http://earthspiritbooksandgifts.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Books and Gifts
A bookstore for the Open Minded
No one else had Kirby, Marty and Holly. I didn't have other people's
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lylaw
"No one else had Kirby, Marty and Holly. I didn't have other people's
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me."
--------------------------------
that reminds me exactly of the quite from steve jobs' commencement speech:
" If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me."
--------------------------------
that reminds me exactly of the quite from steve jobs' commencement speech:
" If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Halldorson
"No one else had Kirby, Marty and Holly. I didn't have other people's
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me."
It reminds me of something I wrote a couple of days ago on a blog. The mother was talking about her child having issues because of his age, divorce all sorts of stuff...nothing about who he was...I wrote this...
+++++
Seriously, read Sandra Dodd's book.
They grow so fast. They really do.you're right.
I would stop equating age and behaviors. It sets you up for making comparisons and gives you expectations.
Focus on him, as an individual. Enjoy him for who he is. ... Love him, for him and don't waste a minute of his life comparing him to his friends or your friends kids.
Even if you're telling yourself it's for *developmental* comparison.it's just a negative practice."
++++++
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me."
It reminds me of something I wrote a couple of days ago on a blog. The mother was talking about her child having issues because of his age, divorce all sorts of stuff...nothing about who he was...I wrote this...
+++++
Seriously, read Sandra Dodd's book.
They grow so fast. They really do.you're right.
I would stop equating age and behaviors. It sets you up for making comparisons and gives you expectations.
Focus on him, as an individual. Enjoy him for who he is. ... Love him, for him and don't waste a minute of his life comparing him to his friends or your friends kids.
Even if you're telling yourself it's for *developmental* comparison.it's just a negative practice."
++++++
MARKETPLACE
Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get the Yahoo! Toolbar now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get great advice about dogs and cats. Visit the Dog & Cat Answers Center.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get real-time World Cup coverage on the Yahoo! Toolbar. Download now to win a signed team jersey!
Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest . Unsubscribe . Terms of Use.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***No one else had Kirby, Marty and Holly. I didn't have other people's
unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me.***
Right, and when things such as personal boundaries come up, it's so individual to that particular set of parents and children. I was talking to Ronnie about that at the LIG conference and she said that she was glad that her kids push her boundaries a bit, but not so much that she can't adapt.
It's an interesting perspective!
If you focus on your kids, clearly, without another lens on, it's easy to see what causes peace and what doesn't. Even if the answer isn't easy and even if you or your kid makes a mistake in judgement in that moment, the focus towards what is peaceful and joyful is what allows us to keep moving forward together as a unit. If my focus moves to what someone else might think or believe, or my motivation is to keep from embarrassment or whatever else, then I'm not focusing directly on my kids.
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unschooled children. Some things are the same. Some are different.
I looked at my own individual children, and one step at a time, the
path showed behind me, but there was no clear path in front of me.***
Right, and when things such as personal boundaries come up, it's so individual to that particular set of parents and children. I was talking to Ronnie about that at the LIG conference and she said that she was glad that her kids push her boundaries a bit, but not so much that she can't adapt.
It's an interesting perspective!
If you focus on your kids, clearly, without another lens on, it's easy to see what causes peace and what doesn't. Even if the answer isn't easy and even if you or your kid makes a mistake in judgement in that moment, the focus towards what is peaceful and joyful is what allows us to keep moving forward together as a unit. If my focus moves to what someone else might think or believe, or my motivation is to keep from embarrassment or whatever else, then I'm not focusing directly on my kids.
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Sandra Dodd
-=-If my focus moves to what someone else might think or believe, or
my motivation is to keep from embarrassment or whatever else, then I'm
not focusing directly on my kids.-=-
Some people have said that they've found it useful to imagine what
they would do if some particular unschooling writer they like to read
were to be there. And that's not horrible, as a temporary tool. But
in those cases it's the person wanting to remember to stick to their
resolve, I think. They're wanting to do something that wouldn't be
criticized in a discussion, I think, maybe. "What would Pam say?" or
some such. Not "What would all the unschoolers in the world vote
together to say?"
It might seem odd to some that I'm thinking one is wrong and the other
is different, but I can see the difference between having a role model
in mind, and in thinking there is The Unschooling Way which does not
waver.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
my motivation is to keep from embarrassment or whatever else, then I'm
not focusing directly on my kids.-=-
Some people have said that they've found it useful to imagine what
they would do if some particular unschooling writer they like to read
were to be there. And that's not horrible, as a temporary tool. But
in those cases it's the person wanting to remember to stick to their
resolve, I think. They're wanting to do something that wouldn't be
criticized in a discussion, I think, maybe. "What would Pam say?" or
some such. Not "What would all the unschoolers in the world vote
together to say?"
It might seem odd to some that I'm thinking one is wrong and the other
is different, but I can see the difference between having a role model
in mind, and in thinking there is The Unschooling Way which does not
waver.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]