Food Issues
Rinelle
I've really enjoyed reading the list over the last few months, and have
slowly been working on saying yes more, and no less. I've had no issues
with it with TV or computer, but am struggling more with the food. Ezri has
been a really selective eater since she was really young, and we've always
tried to respect her choices, while encouraging her to try new foods. We've
had times of cutting out sweets/artificial colours etc, on advice that
allergies must be causing some other issues, but I no longer believe that
(not sure that I ever did, but I was desperate, wish I had found this list
earlier).
My problem is that as I mentioned, she's always been very selective about
what she eats, and since we've stopped restricting food as much, she's
actually started cutting out foods that she previously would eat, such as
sandwiches (she'd only ever have jam or plain bread), peanuts, some fruit
etc, and I'm really starting to worry. The biggest problem for me is that
if she doesn't eat something filling early in the day, she becomes very
easily upset. She will eat fruit, but this doesn't seem to fill her up.
She will eat packets and packets of flavoured rice crackers (only two
particular flavours though, if we buy any others, she isn't interested), but
won't touch sandwiches like she used to.
We haven't had any problems with re-introducing sweets. She'll eat a lot,
then when they run out, she's happy enough until we get the chance to buy
some more. The problem we're having is with KFC chips, which she asks for
constantly. She would eat them every day, which I am finding a little
frustrating. Even if we offer to buy them tomorrow, when we're going out
already, or we'll cook chips at home, it doesn't seem to help. She will
have a massive tantrum in which no answer is acceptable other than us saying
that we're going out to buy them right now.
Is this just an adjustment phase? Is there any way to respectfully
encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods? Anyone who's been through
something similar and come out the other end?
If it helps any, she's nearly 6 (birthday is tomorrow), and has never been
to school. (Though we did try school at home for all of a month.)
Thanks,
Tamara
slowly been working on saying yes more, and no less. I've had no issues
with it with TV or computer, but am struggling more with the food. Ezri has
been a really selective eater since she was really young, and we've always
tried to respect her choices, while encouraging her to try new foods. We've
had times of cutting out sweets/artificial colours etc, on advice that
allergies must be causing some other issues, but I no longer believe that
(not sure that I ever did, but I was desperate, wish I had found this list
earlier).
My problem is that as I mentioned, she's always been very selective about
what she eats, and since we've stopped restricting food as much, she's
actually started cutting out foods that she previously would eat, such as
sandwiches (she'd only ever have jam or plain bread), peanuts, some fruit
etc, and I'm really starting to worry. The biggest problem for me is that
if she doesn't eat something filling early in the day, she becomes very
easily upset. She will eat fruit, but this doesn't seem to fill her up.
She will eat packets and packets of flavoured rice crackers (only two
particular flavours though, if we buy any others, she isn't interested), but
won't touch sandwiches like she used to.
We haven't had any problems with re-introducing sweets. She'll eat a lot,
then when they run out, she's happy enough until we get the chance to buy
some more. The problem we're having is with KFC chips, which she asks for
constantly. She would eat them every day, which I am finding a little
frustrating. Even if we offer to buy them tomorrow, when we're going out
already, or we'll cook chips at home, it doesn't seem to help. She will
have a massive tantrum in which no answer is acceptable other than us saying
that we're going out to buy them right now.
Is this just an adjustment phase? Is there any way to respectfully
encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods? Anyone who's been through
something similar and come out the other end?
If it helps any, she's nearly 6 (birthday is tomorrow), and has never been
to school. (Though we did try school at home for all of a month.)
Thanks,
Tamara
Sandra Dodd
-=-The biggest problem for me is that
if she doesn't eat something filling early in the day, she becomes very
easily upset. She will eat fruit, but this doesn't seem to fill her up.
She will eat packets and packets of flavoured rice crackers (only two
particular flavours though, if we buy any others, she isn't
interested), but
won't touch sandwiches like she used to.-=-
Holly and I both get cranky without protein. Filled up with fruit or
rice crackers wouldn't help a bit with that.
-=We haven't had any problems with re-introducing sweets. She'll eat a
lot,
then when they run out, she's happy enough until we get the chance to
buy
some more. The problem we're having is with KFC chips, which she asks
for
constantly. -=-
Fried potatoes you mean? Buy more than she wants. Buy so many she
can't finish them; save the leftovers to reheat. Abundance is more
important than "portions."
-=-Is this just an adjustment phase?-=-
For you as a mom, mostly.
-=- Is there any way to respectfully
encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods?-=-
http://sandradodd.com/eating/monkeyplatter
There are photos with monkeyplatters with marshmallows and such, but
I've never done that on mine.
Don't "encourage"--don't talk about it, or wheedle, or beg. Just
present a variety of interesting-looking bite-sized things without
making a deal about whether she eats it or how much she eats. Just
put it there a while, replace what she finishes (if anything), and
when she's done, put it away, or finish the rest, or give it to the
dog or whatever.
There's a list of protein snacks here, and if you're meat eaters you
could add more to that. The list has no meat.
http://sandradodd.com/eating/protein
Some kids like boiled eggs, but only the white and not the yolk. The
other day in the unschooling chat we were talking about other things
to put into half a boiled egg (like deviled eggs, but not using the
yolk). Maybe she would like that.
When I was little I used to drink milk through an onion (scallion
shoot--whatever the long hollow part of a green onion is called), and
I liked cottage cheese with salt, and I liked boiled eggs (just the
white part) with salt to dip it in.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
if she doesn't eat something filling early in the day, she becomes very
easily upset. She will eat fruit, but this doesn't seem to fill her up.
She will eat packets and packets of flavoured rice crackers (only two
particular flavours though, if we buy any others, she isn't
interested), but
won't touch sandwiches like she used to.-=-
Holly and I both get cranky without protein. Filled up with fruit or
rice crackers wouldn't help a bit with that.
-=We haven't had any problems with re-introducing sweets. She'll eat a
lot,
then when they run out, she's happy enough until we get the chance to
buy
some more. The problem we're having is with KFC chips, which she asks
for
constantly. -=-
Fried potatoes you mean? Buy more than she wants. Buy so many she
can't finish them; save the leftovers to reheat. Abundance is more
important than "portions."
-=-Is this just an adjustment phase?-=-
For you as a mom, mostly.
-=- Is there any way to respectfully
encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods?-=-
http://sandradodd.com/eating/monkeyplatter
There are photos with monkeyplatters with marshmallows and such, but
I've never done that on mine.
Don't "encourage"--don't talk about it, or wheedle, or beg. Just
present a variety of interesting-looking bite-sized things without
making a deal about whether she eats it or how much she eats. Just
put it there a while, replace what she finishes (if anything), and
when she's done, put it away, or finish the rest, or give it to the
dog or whatever.
There's a list of protein snacks here, and if you're meat eaters you
could add more to that. The list has no meat.
http://sandradodd.com/eating/protein
Some kids like boiled eggs, but only the white and not the yolk. The
other day in the unschooling chat we were talking about other things
to put into half a boiled egg (like deviled eggs, but not using the
yolk). Maybe she would like that.
When I was little I used to drink milk through an onion (scallion
shoot--whatever the long hollow part of a green onion is called), and
I liked cottage cheese with salt, and I liked boiled eggs (just the
white part) with salt to dip it in.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
Have you seen the studies on marginal utility which means that the scarcer
something seems to be, the more valuable it's going to be to the person who
feels/is limited.
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics
That thought helped me to be more reasonable about limits of any kind. There
will naturally be limits for anyone but too many artificial ones without
immediate danger are likely to erode trust in a child toward
parent(s)/adult(s).
~Katherine
something seems to be, the more valuable it's going to be to the person who
feels/is limited.
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics
That thought helped me to be more reasonable about limits of any kind. There
will naturally be limits for anyone but too many artificial ones without
immediate danger are likely to erode trust in a child toward
parent(s)/adult(s).
~Katherine
On Wed, Jun 2, 2010 at 4:23 AM, Rinelle <rinelle@...> wrote:
> I've really enjoyed reading the list over the last few months, and have
> slowly been working on saying yes more, and no less. I've had no issues
> with it with TV or computer, but am struggling more with the food. Ezri
> has
> been a really selective eater since she was really young, and we've always
> tried to respect her choices, while encouraging her to try new foods.
> We've
> had times of cutting out sweets/artificial colours etc, on advice that
> allergies must be causing some other issues, but I no longer believe that
> (not sure that I ever did, but I was desperate, wish I had found this list
> earlier).
>
> My problem is that as I mentioned, she's always been very selective about
> what she eats, and since we've stopped restricting food as much, she's
> actually started cutting out foods that she previously would eat, such as
> sandwiches (she'd only ever have jam or plain bread), peanuts, some fruit
> etc, and I'm really starting to worry. The biggest problem for me is that
> if she doesn't eat something filling early in the day, she becomes very
> easily upset. She will eat fruit, but this doesn't seem to fill her up.
> She will eat packets and packets of flavoured rice crackers (only two
> particular flavours though, if we buy any others, she isn't interested),
> but
> won't touch sandwiches like she used to.
>
> We haven't had any problems with re-introducing sweets. She'll eat a lot,
> then when they run out, she's happy enough until we get the chance to buy
> some more. The problem we're having is with KFC chips, which she asks
> for
> constantly. She would eat them every day, which I am finding a little
> frustrating. Even if we offer to buy them tomorrow, when we're going out
> already, or we'll cook chips at home, it doesn't seem to help. She will
> have a massive tantrum in which no answer is acceptable other than us
> saying
> that we're going out to buy them right now.
>
> Is this just an adjustment phase? Is there any way to respectfully
> encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods? Anyone who's been through
> something similar and come out the other end?
>
> If it helps any, she's nearly 6 (birthday is tomorrow), and has never been
> to school. (Though we did try school at home for all of a month.)
>
> Thanks,
>
> Tamara
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Su Penn
On Jun 2, 2010, at 4:23 AM, Rinelle wrote:
When my son Eric was about your daughter's age, he loved those packaged individual puddings you can get. Every week at the grocery store, I would buy what seemed like a reasonable amount of pudding for the family for the week, but when we got home, Eric would just eat and eat and eat and eat pudding--he'd eat what I thought was a week's worth of pudding in one day. And then we'd be out of pudding until the next week's grocery shopping.
It turned out, listening to what he said about it, that he felt worried that there wouldn't be enough for him, that other people would eat the pudding and he wouldn't get as much as he wanted. So he was pre-emptively eating piles of pudding.
So, I started buying just insane-seeming amounts of these pudding cups, and I told Eric, "If we run out and you want more, I will take you to the store and we will buy more, no matter what day it is."
He went through a brief period of eating those pudding cups, oh my goodness, the pudding cups he ate. But pretty soon, starting to believe that I really intended for him to have as many as he wanted/needed, he tapered off. And within, oh, a few weeks probably, he was down to one or two a day, and then awhile after that I noticed that they were sitting around in the fridge uneaten, and after that they became something we bought from time to time if someone had a taste for them, or I noticed them in the store and thought they'd be a nice treat.
So, in your situation, unless there was a really compelling reason not to (the nearest KFC is a two-hour drive away, or the family budget is super-tight just now), I would, for awhile, take her to KFC every day, buy her as many chips as she wanted, enjoy watching her enjoy them, say cheerful positive things like, "you really like those chips. They're good, aren't they? We can come again tomorrow if you want. We can come again later today if you want!" as appropriate, and see what I could do to fill up her desire for those potatoes, trusting that, most likely, once she really feels like she's had enough of them, they won't loom so large for her, and they'll become just another food she likes instead of The Food She Must Have Or Else.
You also mentioned the protein problem. Eric sometimes also seems to need protein and not want to eat anything but carbohydrates. Mostly over the years we have dealt with this by offering protein in as many palatable forms as we could. Protein-y drinks like kefer and Carnation Instant Breakfast (a powder you mix with milk; it's chocolate but also has added vitamins and nutrients), for instance, have been really useful for us. (And by "useful," I mean that I don't know how we'd have gotten through the ages of 3 and 4 without kefir!)
Once in a great while, when he was younger and really showing signs of needing protein, I have been pretty firm on the protein issue, and have said something like, "I know you really want to go to the zoo (or whatever), but I don't want to go with you when you're behaving like this. I think eating some protein might help. I'm happy to help you think of ideas of what to eat, but you must eat something with protein before we go to the zoo." Sometimes that meant a CIB, sometimes it meant driving through McDonald's for a burger, or getting a milkshake at a place that uses real milk, or some sweet yogurt. I never "put my foot down" on the protein issue without _also_ offering as many options as I could think of, and being open to his suggestions as well.
As Eric has gotten older, he can recognize in himself the signs of not having eaten soon enough and, if he needs help with ideas, will ask me for it.
Su, mom to Eric, 9; Carl, 6; Yehva, 2.5
tapeflags.blogspot.com
> She would eat them every day, which I am finding a littleI am going to drag out my old "Eric with the pudding cups" story now.
> frustrating. Even if we offer to buy them tomorrow, when we're going out
> already, or we'll cook chips at home, it doesn't seem to help. She will
> have a massive tantrum in which no answer is acceptable other than us saying
> that we're going out to buy them right now.
When my son Eric was about your daughter's age, he loved those packaged individual puddings you can get. Every week at the grocery store, I would buy what seemed like a reasonable amount of pudding for the family for the week, but when we got home, Eric would just eat and eat and eat and eat pudding--he'd eat what I thought was a week's worth of pudding in one day. And then we'd be out of pudding until the next week's grocery shopping.
It turned out, listening to what he said about it, that he felt worried that there wouldn't be enough for him, that other people would eat the pudding and he wouldn't get as much as he wanted. So he was pre-emptively eating piles of pudding.
So, I started buying just insane-seeming amounts of these pudding cups, and I told Eric, "If we run out and you want more, I will take you to the store and we will buy more, no matter what day it is."
He went through a brief period of eating those pudding cups, oh my goodness, the pudding cups he ate. But pretty soon, starting to believe that I really intended for him to have as many as he wanted/needed, he tapered off. And within, oh, a few weeks probably, he was down to one or two a day, and then awhile after that I noticed that they were sitting around in the fridge uneaten, and after that they became something we bought from time to time if someone had a taste for them, or I noticed them in the store and thought they'd be a nice treat.
So, in your situation, unless there was a really compelling reason not to (the nearest KFC is a two-hour drive away, or the family budget is super-tight just now), I would, for awhile, take her to KFC every day, buy her as many chips as she wanted, enjoy watching her enjoy them, say cheerful positive things like, "you really like those chips. They're good, aren't they? We can come again tomorrow if you want. We can come again later today if you want!" as appropriate, and see what I could do to fill up her desire for those potatoes, trusting that, most likely, once she really feels like she's had enough of them, they won't loom so large for her, and they'll become just another food she likes instead of The Food She Must Have Or Else.
> Is this just an adjustment phase? Is there any way to respectfullyI don't know that there is an "other end," but with Eric, who is very particular about what he eats, it is a great pleasure to see him, at 9, completely unconflicted and relaxed about food. Sometimes he chooses to try new things, sometimes he doesn't, but he does eat a wide enough variety to get what he needs and enjoy eating.
> encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods? Anyone who's been through
> something similar and come out the other end?
You also mentioned the protein problem. Eric sometimes also seems to need protein and not want to eat anything but carbohydrates. Mostly over the years we have dealt with this by offering protein in as many palatable forms as we could. Protein-y drinks like kefer and Carnation Instant Breakfast (a powder you mix with milk; it's chocolate but also has added vitamins and nutrients), for instance, have been really useful for us. (And by "useful," I mean that I don't know how we'd have gotten through the ages of 3 and 4 without kefir!)
Once in a great while, when he was younger and really showing signs of needing protein, I have been pretty firm on the protein issue, and have said something like, "I know you really want to go to the zoo (or whatever), but I don't want to go with you when you're behaving like this. I think eating some protein might help. I'm happy to help you think of ideas of what to eat, but you must eat something with protein before we go to the zoo." Sometimes that meant a CIB, sometimes it meant driving through McDonald's for a burger, or getting a milkshake at a place that uses real milk, or some sweet yogurt. I never "put my foot down" on the protein issue without _also_ offering as many options as I could think of, and being open to his suggestions as well.
As Eric has gotten older, he can recognize in himself the signs of not having eaten soon enough and, if he needs help with ideas, will ask me for it.
Su, mom to Eric, 9; Carl, 6; Yehva, 2.5
tapeflags.blogspot.com
Jenny Cyphers
***and I liked cottage cheese with salt***
Oh, you just reminded me of something that might work! John loves cottage cheese and BBQ chips. If this kid really likes potato things like fries or chips, she might like it dipped in something like cottage cheese or cream cheese.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Oh, you just reminded me of something that might work! John loves cottage cheese and BBQ chips. If this kid really likes potato things like fries or chips, she might like it dipped in something like cottage cheese or cream cheese.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Marina DeLuca-Howard
Rowan and I invented a dip for yam fries...yoghurt, cream cheese, ricotta
with chives(should be creamy), and spices de Provence. Add a little mayo
and mustard for extra umph!
Marina
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with chives(should be creamy), and spices de Provence. Add a little mayo
and mustard for extra umph!
Marina
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Jenny Cyphers
***My problem is that as I mentioned, she's always been very selective
about
what she eats, and since we've stopped restricting food as much, she's
actually started cutting out foods that she previously would eat,***
One of my kids did that. We never really restricted food, so it wasn't reactionary, but she did get really selective about what she was eating. I watched it and it was uncomfortable for me because I worried. What she did, in hindsight I can see it and Schuyler helped point it out, was that she was giving her body a clean slate to work with. She found out through that process that she couldn't eat eggs at all, something that I made for her all the time. It caused her stomach pain but she liked them and never made the connection, but because of the pain she stopped eating other things and eventually found the connection. It wasn't something that she did consciously, but that is what came out of it.
I wouldn't interfere with the process, but keep adding things here and there and let her eat what sounds good or smells good and let her skip what doesn't. Definitely find more protein things like Sandra says. Everyone in my family crashes from lack of protein and each of us needs varying amounts of it and different kinds of it. Everyone in my house eats fish and loves it and finds it to be one of the easiest and best sources of protein.
________________________________
From: Rinelle <rinelle@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, June 2, 2010 8:23:23 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Food Issues
I've really enjoyed reading the list over the last few months, and have
slowly been working on saying yes more, and no less. I've had no issues
with it with TV or computer, but am struggling more with the food. Ezri has
been a really selective eater since she was really young, and we've always
tried to respect her choices, while encouraging her to try new foods. We've
had times of cutting out sweets/artificial colours etc, on advice that
allergies must be causing some other issues, but I no longer believe that
(not sure that I ever did, but I was desperate, wish I had found this list
earlier).
My problem is that as I mentioned, she's always been very selective about
what she eats, and since we've stopped restricting food as much, she's
actually started cutting out foods that she previously would eat, such as
sandwiches (she'd only ever have jam or plain bread), peanuts, some fruit
etc, and I'm really starting to worry. The biggest problem for me is that
if she doesn't eat something filling early in the day, she becomes very
easily upset. She will eat fruit, but this doesn't seem to fill her up.
She will eat packets and packets of flavoured rice crackers (only two
particular flavours though, if we buy any others, she isn't interested), but
won't touch sandwiches like she used to.
We haven't had any problems with re-introducing sweets. She'll eat a lot,
then when they run out, she's happy enough until we get the chance to buy
some more. The problem we're having is with KFC chips, which she asks for
constantly. She would eat them every day, which I am finding a little
frustrating. Even if we offer to buy them tomorrow, when we're going out
already, or we'll cook chips at home, it doesn't seem to help. She will
have a massive tantrum in which no answer is acceptable other than us saying
that we're going out to buy them right now.
Is this just an adjustment phase? Is there any way to respectfully
encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods? Anyone who's been through
something similar and come out the other end?
If it helps any, she's nearly 6 (birthday is tomorrow), and has never been
to school. (Though we did try school at home for all of a month.)
Thanks,
Tamara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
about
what she eats, and since we've stopped restricting food as much, she's
actually started cutting out foods that she previously would eat,***
One of my kids did that. We never really restricted food, so it wasn't reactionary, but she did get really selective about what she was eating. I watched it and it was uncomfortable for me because I worried. What she did, in hindsight I can see it and Schuyler helped point it out, was that she was giving her body a clean slate to work with. She found out through that process that she couldn't eat eggs at all, something that I made for her all the time. It caused her stomach pain but she liked them and never made the connection, but because of the pain she stopped eating other things and eventually found the connection. It wasn't something that she did consciously, but that is what came out of it.
I wouldn't interfere with the process, but keep adding things here and there and let her eat what sounds good or smells good and let her skip what doesn't. Definitely find more protein things like Sandra says. Everyone in my family crashes from lack of protein and each of us needs varying amounts of it and different kinds of it. Everyone in my house eats fish and loves it and finds it to be one of the easiest and best sources of protein.
________________________________
From: Rinelle <rinelle@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, June 2, 2010 8:23:23 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Food Issues
I've really enjoyed reading the list over the last few months, and have
slowly been working on saying yes more, and no less. I've had no issues
with it with TV or computer, but am struggling more with the food. Ezri has
been a really selective eater since she was really young, and we've always
tried to respect her choices, while encouraging her to try new foods. We've
had times of cutting out sweets/artificial colours etc, on advice that
allergies must be causing some other issues, but I no longer believe that
(not sure that I ever did, but I was desperate, wish I had found this list
earlier).
My problem is that as I mentioned, she's always been very selective about
what she eats, and since we've stopped restricting food as much, she's
actually started cutting out foods that she previously would eat, such as
sandwiches (she'd only ever have jam or plain bread), peanuts, some fruit
etc, and I'm really starting to worry. The biggest problem for me is that
if she doesn't eat something filling early in the day, she becomes very
easily upset. She will eat fruit, but this doesn't seem to fill her up.
She will eat packets and packets of flavoured rice crackers (only two
particular flavours though, if we buy any others, she isn't interested), but
won't touch sandwiches like she used to.
We haven't had any problems with re-introducing sweets. She'll eat a lot,
then when they run out, she's happy enough until we get the chance to buy
some more. The problem we're having is with KFC chips, which she asks for
constantly. She would eat them every day, which I am finding a little
frustrating. Even if we offer to buy them tomorrow, when we're going out
already, or we'll cook chips at home, it doesn't seem to help. She will
have a massive tantrum in which no answer is acceptable other than us saying
that we're going out to buy them right now.
Is this just an adjustment phase? Is there any way to respectfully
encourage her to eat more of a variety of foods? Anyone who's been through
something similar and come out the other end?
If it helps any, she's nearly 6 (birthday is tomorrow), and has never been
to school. (Though we did try school at home for all of a month.)
Thanks,
Tamara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rinelle
Thanks everyone for all the great replies. Certainly given me something to
think further about.
I'm going to reply to several posts in one, to avoid clogging up the list.
Sandra said:
-=Holly and I both get cranky without protein. Filled up with fruit or
rice crackers wouldn't help a bit with that.=-
I didn't even think of protien. I was thinking it was carbs she was after
(but more filling ones than rice crackers, more like wholemeal bread or
something), but protien would probably work just as well.
Trouble is, while she will happily eat meat, she won't eat most of the other
protien sources. She has never been into eggs (will eat them scrambled, but
only with lots of bacon, and she only eats the egg because it's too hard to
sperate), won't touch cheese or any kind of beans etc. Milk she has only
recently started eating at all (she was suggested lactose intollerant as a
baby, so we never pushed the milk issue), and will have a small glass maybe
a couple of times a week, if that. She won't eat dips of any kind, or
pretty much anything that is mixed with anything else, so no soups, stews,
spaghetti etc. It is very frustrating, as DH and I eat a lot of these
foods.
Su Penn said:
-=So, in your situation, unless there was a really compelling reason not to
(the nearest KFC is a two-hour drive away, or the family budget is
super-tight just now), I would, for awhile, take her to KFC every day, buy
her as many chips as she wanted, enjoy watching her enjoy them, say cheerful
positive things like, "you really like those chips. They're good, aren't
they? We can come again tomorrow if you want. We can come again later today
if you want!" as appropriate, and see what I could do to fill up her desire
for those potatoes, trusting that, most likely, once she really feels like
she's had enough of them, they won't loom so large for her, and they'll
become just another food she likes instead of The Food She Must Have Or
Else.=-
Really good advice, and thanks so much for telling me your story, it really
does help.
I can see that I need to relax the restrictions even further, but the other
issue is that we do really have some budgetting concerns right now. Not to
go into it, but we are living on savings while I get my home business off
the ground, so DH and I are starting to get a little concerned about money
as things get a little tighter.
Jenny Cyphers said:
-=One of my kids did that. We never really restricted food, so it wasn't
reactionary, but she did get really selective about what she was eating. I
watched it and it was uncomfortable for me because I worried. What she did,
in hindsight I can see it and Schuyler helped point it out, was that she was
giving her body a clean slate to work with. She found out through that
process that she couldn't eat eggs at all, something that I made for her all
the time. It caused her stomach pain but she liked them and never made the
connection, but because of the pain she stopped eating other things and
eventually found the connection. It wasn't something that she did
consciously, but that is what came out of it.=-
This has been one of my concerns, and one of the reasons I have tried to let
her choose her own foods (and respected her choice not to eat eggs or drink
milk). As I mentioned, she was mildly lactose intollerant as a baby, though
she seems to be able to drink milk without any ill effects now. DH is also
gluten intollerant, so there are other food issues that run in the family.
Also, with the not trying new food, I mean she really won't try it at all.
She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit it out
if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of food if
there is anything unfamilliar on it. She won't even try things like
cheesecake, or other sweets, much less anything like a new vegetable. Fruit
she is surprisingly OK with, and will try new fruits sometimes (depending on
the fruit), and occasionally she will try a new meat.
Tamara
think further about.
I'm going to reply to several posts in one, to avoid clogging up the list.
Sandra said:
-=Holly and I both get cranky without protein. Filled up with fruit or
rice crackers wouldn't help a bit with that.=-
I didn't even think of protien. I was thinking it was carbs she was after
(but more filling ones than rice crackers, more like wholemeal bread or
something), but protien would probably work just as well.
Trouble is, while she will happily eat meat, she won't eat most of the other
protien sources. She has never been into eggs (will eat them scrambled, but
only with lots of bacon, and she only eats the egg because it's too hard to
sperate), won't touch cheese or any kind of beans etc. Milk she has only
recently started eating at all (she was suggested lactose intollerant as a
baby, so we never pushed the milk issue), and will have a small glass maybe
a couple of times a week, if that. She won't eat dips of any kind, or
pretty much anything that is mixed with anything else, so no soups, stews,
spaghetti etc. It is very frustrating, as DH and I eat a lot of these
foods.
Su Penn said:
-=So, in your situation, unless there was a really compelling reason not to
(the nearest KFC is a two-hour drive away, or the family budget is
super-tight just now), I would, for awhile, take her to KFC every day, buy
her as many chips as she wanted, enjoy watching her enjoy them, say cheerful
positive things like, "you really like those chips. They're good, aren't
they? We can come again tomorrow if you want. We can come again later today
if you want!" as appropriate, and see what I could do to fill up her desire
for those potatoes, trusting that, most likely, once she really feels like
she's had enough of them, they won't loom so large for her, and they'll
become just another food she likes instead of The Food She Must Have Or
Else.=-
Really good advice, and thanks so much for telling me your story, it really
does help.
I can see that I need to relax the restrictions even further, but the other
issue is that we do really have some budgetting concerns right now. Not to
go into it, but we are living on savings while I get my home business off
the ground, so DH and I are starting to get a little concerned about money
as things get a little tighter.
Jenny Cyphers said:
-=One of my kids did that. We never really restricted food, so it wasn't
reactionary, but she did get really selective about what she was eating. I
watched it and it was uncomfortable for me because I worried. What she did,
in hindsight I can see it and Schuyler helped point it out, was that she was
giving her body a clean slate to work with. She found out through that
process that she couldn't eat eggs at all, something that I made for her all
the time. It caused her stomach pain but she liked them and never made the
connection, but because of the pain she stopped eating other things and
eventually found the connection. It wasn't something that she did
consciously, but that is what came out of it.=-
This has been one of my concerns, and one of the reasons I have tried to let
her choose her own foods (and respected her choice not to eat eggs or drink
milk). As I mentioned, she was mildly lactose intollerant as a baby, though
she seems to be able to drink milk without any ill effects now. DH is also
gluten intollerant, so there are other food issues that run in the family.
Also, with the not trying new food, I mean she really won't try it at all.
She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit it out
if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of food if
there is anything unfamilliar on it. She won't even try things like
cheesecake, or other sweets, much less anything like a new vegetable. Fruit
she is surprisingly OK with, and will try new fruits sometimes (depending on
the fruit), and occasionally she will try a new meat.
Tamara
Bob Collier
Whenever the issue of food comes up, I'm always tempted to mention how my son Patrick lived for two years on pasta, rice and water and an occasional spaghetti bolognese or visit to McDonald's for chicken nuggets and french fries and remained healthy, but I don't know if that's particularly helpful.
It's a true story anyway.
Bob
It's a true story anyway.
Bob
Kelly Halldorson
Bob wrote:
Fast forward to today.
I'm 37 years old and a healthy weight. I have never been overweight nor ever *really* underweight either. I eat mostly whole grains, no meat and/or dairy lots of veggies and green tea.
And despite all the candy and sugar I ate my teeth are *not* rotting out of my head.
Kelly
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>Whenever the issue of food comes up, I'm always tempted to mention how my son Patrick lived for two years on pasta, rice and water >and an occasional spaghetti bolognese or visit to McDonald's for chicken nuggets and french fries and remained healthy, but I don't know >if that's particularly helpful.Along the same lines...I ate whatever I wanted growing up. No restrictions. My mother bought me anything I'd eat. The only thing I remember her forcing me to eat was this...she insisted that I at least eat lettuce with mayonnaise or something else. She didn't like me eating it straight from the jar with a spoon.
Fast forward to today.
I'm 37 years old and a healthy weight. I have never been overweight nor ever *really* underweight either. I eat mostly whole grains, no meat and/or dairy lots of veggies and green tea.
And despite all the candy and sugar I ate my teeth are *not* rotting out of my head.
Kelly
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Schuyler
My diet was pretty restricted for a long time. Trying new things made me gag, anything with the wrong texture and I'd be in real trouble with the whole experience. My parents were really disturbed by my limited diet. They would keep me at the table, they would do the just one bite of this and you can have something you like things, they would require I try something before refusing to eat it. I would lie about having tried food before at someone else's home, usually my grandmother. Nothing worked. I just didn't like a wide variety of foods. And I was so uncomfortable with what was clearly a personal limitation, my own stubborness, my own unwillingness to just take what was offered, that I didn't want to travel much or eat at other people's homes. I wanted to stay where I knew my options.
I can remember going to a vegetarian restaurant, the only one in Omaha, I don't think it lasted long and ordering a burger. I figured that was safe. It was so awful. I don't think I ate and that embarrassed my parents. They wanted me to appreciate the new experience, but it was full of onions and other vegetables and it wasn't anything like a burger. It was false advertising in my mind.
When I married David he was a vegetarian and we ate fairly distinct meals. He never pressed me to eat something he liked or he cooked, even. He just let me be comfortable with my diet. Over time he began to offer me food, nothing that pushed my clear no go foods, nothing that made me gag, nothing that made me nervous just looking at it. And the more I enjoyed of what he offered the more I trusted what he was next offering. We've been married for 13 years now and I've had people call me a gastronome. I am fairly willing to try new things, although at times the old me will block the experience, at least for a few moments. I love the whole experience of food and look to travelling as a way to try variations on the theme. Having David slowly widen my comfort zone has got me to a place where I am really willing to expand my comfort zone.
Oh, and the concept of cheesecake disturbed me to no end when I was a child. My brother had one for his birthday and I wouldn't even try it. I was amazed the first time I had it by what it was given what I had envisioned.
Don't push, really back off and let her eat what she is comfortable with. If you have something you thing she might like, offer it, but be so willing and comfortable with a no answer that a yes almost blows you over. Over time she may come to trust your recommendations if you give trustworthy ones.
Schuyler
________________________________
Also, with the not trying new food, I mean she really won't try it at all.
She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit it out
if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of food if
there is anything unfamilliar on it. She won't even try things like
cheesecake, or other sweets, much less anything like a new vegetable. Fruit
she is surprisingly OK with, and will try new fruits sometimes (depending on
the fruit), and occasionally she will try a new meat.
Tamara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I can remember going to a vegetarian restaurant, the only one in Omaha, I don't think it lasted long and ordering a burger. I figured that was safe. It was so awful. I don't think I ate and that embarrassed my parents. They wanted me to appreciate the new experience, but it was full of onions and other vegetables and it wasn't anything like a burger. It was false advertising in my mind.
When I married David he was a vegetarian and we ate fairly distinct meals. He never pressed me to eat something he liked or he cooked, even. He just let me be comfortable with my diet. Over time he began to offer me food, nothing that pushed my clear no go foods, nothing that made me gag, nothing that made me nervous just looking at it. And the more I enjoyed of what he offered the more I trusted what he was next offering. We've been married for 13 years now and I've had people call me a gastronome. I am fairly willing to try new things, although at times the old me will block the experience, at least for a few moments. I love the whole experience of food and look to travelling as a way to try variations on the theme. Having David slowly widen my comfort zone has got me to a place where I am really willing to expand my comfort zone.
Oh, and the concept of cheesecake disturbed me to no end when I was a child. My brother had one for his birthday and I wouldn't even try it. I was amazed the first time I had it by what it was given what I had envisioned.
Don't push, really back off and let her eat what she is comfortable with. If you have something you thing she might like, offer it, but be so willing and comfortable with a no answer that a yes almost blows you over. Over time she may come to trust your recommendations if you give trustworthy ones.
Schuyler
________________________________
Also, with the not trying new food, I mean she really won't try it at all.
She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit it out
if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of food if
there is anything unfamilliar on it. She won't even try things like
cheesecake, or other sweets, much less anything like a new vegetable. Fruit
she is surprisingly OK with, and will try new fruits sometimes (depending on
the fruit), and occasionally she will try a new meat.
Tamara
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
keetry
== she was giving her body a clean slate to work with. She found out through that process that she couldn't eat eggs at all, something that I made for her all the time. It caused her stomach pain but she liked them and never made the connection, but because of the pain she stopped eating other things and eventually found the connection. It wasn't something that she did consciously, but that is what came out of it. ==
I think this is a very important point. I think children instinctively know when foods give them trouble if they are allowed to explore food themselves. My brother hasn't eaten eggs since he became an adult. When he was a kid he would only eat the yolk of a hard-boiled egg. He recently found out he is allergic to them. That makes perfect sense in hindsight since the white part of the egg is the most allergenic. He knew as a kid not to eat that part. It must've been so awful for him when he was forced to eat the whole thing.
Alysia
I think this is a very important point. I think children instinctively know when foods give them trouble if they are allowed to explore food themselves. My brother hasn't eaten eggs since he became an adult. When he was a kid he would only eat the yolk of a hard-boiled egg. He recently found out he is allergic to them. That makes perfect sense in hindsight since the white part of the egg is the most allergenic. He knew as a kid not to eat that part. It must've been so awful for him when he was forced to eat the whole thing.
Alysia
Deb Lewis
***Trouble is, while she will happily eat meat, she won't eat most of the other protien sources***
Pam Sorooshian gave a recipe once for peanut butter goodies, made from peanut butter, powdered milk and, I think, honey. Sweet and protein rich.
Maybe you could make little meat finger foods, little chunks of ham or bacon bites stacked up and stuck through with toothpicks or chicken nuggets for morning protein.
***She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit it out
if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of food if
there is anything unfamilliar on it. ***
Don't offer anything unless you're pretty sure she'll like it. Don't offer stuff that looks icky. Don't offer something because *you* would like her to try it, offer it because you honestly think she might like it.
And as others have said, don't press it if the answer is "no." Give her more of what you know she likes.
It is really normal for kids to have narrow food preferences. The kids who eat a bunch of different things and try new things are the unusual kids.<g> Dylan's food preferences were narrow and expanded quite slowly over the years and then all at once when he was about sixteen he was eating everything.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian gave a recipe once for peanut butter goodies, made from peanut butter, powdered milk and, I think, honey. Sweet and protein rich.
Maybe you could make little meat finger foods, little chunks of ham or bacon bites stacked up and stuck through with toothpicks or chicken nuggets for morning protein.
***She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit it out
if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of food if
there is anything unfamilliar on it. ***
Don't offer anything unless you're pretty sure she'll like it. Don't offer stuff that looks icky. Don't offer something because *you* would like her to try it, offer it because you honestly think she might like it.
And as others have said, don't press it if the answer is "no." Give her more of what you know she likes.
It is really normal for kids to have narrow food preferences. The kids who eat a bunch of different things and try new things are the unusual kids.<g> Dylan's food preferences were narrow and expanded quite slowly over the years and then all at once when he was about sixteen he was eating everything.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Su Penn
On Jun 2, 2010, at 10:48 PM, Rinelle wrote:
It's been really interesting being his parent. I was a super-picky eater as a child and my life was made miserable for it (I was heckled and ridiculed at every meal). Most vegetables have always triggered my gag reflex; they still do.
Now I watch Eric and one thing that is going on for him is that he is _disgusted_ by a food he doesn't like being in his mouth. He told his dad recently that he just doesn't know what to do with food in his mouth if he doesn't like it.
Carl, on the other hand, can try a food he doesn't like and he'll chew it up and swallow it and then go, "huh, I didn't like that," shrug and move on.
So one thing that is true is that trying a new food is a riskier, higher-stakes prospect for Eric than it is for Carl. I think Carl would do OK in a house with a "two bites" rule or something like that. It would be torment for Eric. Like me, Eric is also very wary of food if he doesn't know exactly what it is and what's in it, because getting an unexpected bite of something distasteful is revolting, nauseating, distressing.
Sometimes there is no "now" solution to a challenge with a kid. Yes, it's a problem if a kid is having problems of some kind because of not eating enough protein. But it's not always possible to get more protein into that kid without pressuring, nagging, demanding--and turning food into something stressful for everybody. As I've gotten older, I understand that some of my food aversions just seem to be in-born, but I also know that the constant stress and conflict I was subjected to as a child made things much worse. One of our goals for Eric has been to keep eating relaxed and easy for him. So we do invite him to try new things, and if he says no, we just say, "OK, maybe another time." We noticed when he was younger that Eric would often turn down a new food by saying that he didn't want it "right now" or that maybe he would like it when he got older, holding open that possibility that he would eat it someday.
I remember bringing some problem I was having with 5 or 6-year-old Eric to one of the unschooling lists and getting good ideas, but also having a couple of people say that in their experience the thing that helped most was just their kid eventually getting older, and that has certainly been true for him.
You mentioned that wrt to the chips, you do have budget constraints. Sometimes my kids respond well to the game of giving things in fantasy you can't give in reality: "I wish I could take you for chips right now! I wish that I could buy you all the chips you wanted! So many that they wouldn't all fit in the car! We'd have to rent a trailer just to bring them home! No...I wish we could just have a KFC installed in the kitchen, and a person who worked there and whenever we wanted chips we'd just say, more chips! and they'd make them for us!" They like the humor and they like me affirming that I really would say Yes if I could, and that I say Yes as much as I can.
Su, mom to Eric, 9; Carl, 6; Yehva, 2.5
tapeflags.blogspot.com
> Also, with the not trying new food, I mean she really won't try it at all.When Eric was younger, he told me once that he had a superpower that allowed him to tell whether he would like a new food without tasting it.
> She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit it out
> if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of food if
> there is anything unfamilliar on it.
It's been really interesting being his parent. I was a super-picky eater as a child and my life was made miserable for it (I was heckled and ridiculed at every meal). Most vegetables have always triggered my gag reflex; they still do.
Now I watch Eric and one thing that is going on for him is that he is _disgusted_ by a food he doesn't like being in his mouth. He told his dad recently that he just doesn't know what to do with food in his mouth if he doesn't like it.
Carl, on the other hand, can try a food he doesn't like and he'll chew it up and swallow it and then go, "huh, I didn't like that," shrug and move on.
So one thing that is true is that trying a new food is a riskier, higher-stakes prospect for Eric than it is for Carl. I think Carl would do OK in a house with a "two bites" rule or something like that. It would be torment for Eric. Like me, Eric is also very wary of food if he doesn't know exactly what it is and what's in it, because getting an unexpected bite of something distasteful is revolting, nauseating, distressing.
Sometimes there is no "now" solution to a challenge with a kid. Yes, it's a problem if a kid is having problems of some kind because of not eating enough protein. But it's not always possible to get more protein into that kid without pressuring, nagging, demanding--and turning food into something stressful for everybody. As I've gotten older, I understand that some of my food aversions just seem to be in-born, but I also know that the constant stress and conflict I was subjected to as a child made things much worse. One of our goals for Eric has been to keep eating relaxed and easy for him. So we do invite him to try new things, and if he says no, we just say, "OK, maybe another time." We noticed when he was younger that Eric would often turn down a new food by saying that he didn't want it "right now" or that maybe he would like it when he got older, holding open that possibility that he would eat it someday.
I remember bringing some problem I was having with 5 or 6-year-old Eric to one of the unschooling lists and getting good ideas, but also having a couple of people say that in their experience the thing that helped most was just their kid eventually getting older, and that has certainly been true for him.
You mentioned that wrt to the chips, you do have budget constraints. Sometimes my kids respond well to the game of giving things in fantasy you can't give in reality: "I wish I could take you for chips right now! I wish that I could buy you all the chips you wanted! So many that they wouldn't all fit in the car! We'd have to rent a trailer just to bring them home! No...I wish we could just have a KFC installed in the kitchen, and a person who worked there and whenever we wanted chips we'd just say, more chips! and they'd make them for us!" They like the humor and they like me affirming that I really would say Yes if I could, and that I say Yes as much as I can.
Su, mom to Eric, 9; Carl, 6; Yehva, 2.5
tapeflags.blogspot.com
lalow66
> It's been really interesting being his parent. I was a super-picky eater as a child and my life was made miserable for it (I was heckled and ridiculed at every meal). Most vegetables have always triggered my gag reflex; they still do.i was a fairly "picky" eater as a child as was my husband so I think we are approach our "picky" son from an entirely different view point and position than the way i or my husband were treated about it. i have become quite fond of some foods i couldnt bare to eat as a child, mostly due to texture. our son ben has always been particular about foods, even as a baby, and we found out later that he was actually allergic to many of the foods he refused. he eats very very very few vegtables. every now and again he will eat a carrot stick or some guacamole. he told me one day that vegtables make him cold. after some questioning we realized he meant they make him shiver. occasionally he is open to trying a new food, or an old one again and i think it is because there is no pressure. he tried mashed potatoes and corn recently.
>
Robin Bentley
>My 15-year-old still prefers just meat to meat mixed in with other
> Trouble is, while she will happily eat meat, she won't eat most of
> the other
> protien sources. She has never been into eggs (will eat them
> scrambled, but
> only with lots of bacon, and she only eats the egg because it's too
> hard to
> sperate), won't touch cheese or any kind of beans etc. Milk she has
> only
> recently started eating at all (she was suggested lactose
> intollerant as a
> baby, so we never pushed the milk issue), and will have a small
> glass maybe
> a couple of times a week, if that. She won't eat dips of any kind, or
> pretty much anything that is mixed with anything else, so no soups,
> stews,
> spaghetti etc. It is very frustrating, as DH and I eat a lot of these
> foods.
things, but now will eat stews, soups, meat sauce on spaghetti. Those
things were added to her repertoire only in the last few years,
though. The only "dip" she likes is salsa mixed with sour cream.
I remember my homeopath being amazed when she asked Senna (at around 6
or 7 years old) what her favorite food was. Her answer was "meat." The
homeopath said that in all her years of practice, a child had never
declared that to be their favorite.
Senna's favorite thing in the world right now is fish: salmon,
snapper, halibut, anything Hawai'ian <g>. Chicken is a close second,
then beef. She has never eaten a salad and still isn't keen on most
vegetables; she likes fruit or juice in small doses. She has just in
the last few years enjoyed eggs and sometimes just the whites, as
Sandra mentioned (more protein in the white). She loves Mountain Dew,
but drinks milk, water, and hot chocolate. She's around 5'3" and
weighs less than 100 lbs.
All this is to say it's okay for kids to have narrow food choices,
especially when they're little. As Deb said, offer lots of what she
likes. Her palate will probably expand, but if it doesn't, so what? If
she's growing and happy and enjoying what she does eat, it's fine.
>Don't make her try anything she doesn't want to try.
> Also, with the not trying new food, I mean she really won't try it
> at all.
> She won't even put it in her mouth with the offer that she can spit
> it out
> if she doesn't like it, and frequently will reject a whole plate of
> food if
> there is anything unfamilliar on it. She won't even try things like
> cheesecake, or other sweets, much less anything like a new
> vegetable. Fruit
> she is surprisingly OK with, and will try new fruits sometimes
> (depending on
> the fruit), and occasionally she will try a new meat.
You can strew food, just like you strew other things for her. Make a
monkey platter of things you know she'll like. Maybe, (down the road,
when she feels you trust her enough to know what she needs to eat) add
something that's similar, but new. And totally be okay with her not
eating it.
It's about learning for her. Learning what tastes good or bad to her.
What makes her feel good or doesn't. What you don't want her to learn
is that food is something to be battled over, that her parents want to
control her food preferences, or that they aren't sensitive to what
she wants.
No harm in offering. Just take no for an answer and sweetly <g>
Robin B.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Whenever the issue of food comes up, I'm always tempted to mention
how my son Patrick lived for two years on pasta, rice and water and an
occasional spaghetti bolognese or visit to McDonald's for chicken
nuggets and french fries and remained healthy, but I don't know if
that's particularly helpful.-=-
I have a friend who ate only pastries (and cheap grocery store
pastries--not high class bakery stuff) for over a year, when she was
18 or so. It was as though she had gone crazy, but after that 15
month binge or whatever it was, she started eating all KINDS of food--
exotic fancy foods. She married a cook, and got interested and brave.
Nobody "made" her change her diet. She just did.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
how my son Patrick lived for two years on pasta, rice and water and an
occasional spaghetti bolognese or visit to McDonald's for chicken
nuggets and french fries and remained healthy, but I don't know if
that's particularly helpful.-=-
I have a friend who ate only pastries (and cheap grocery store
pastries--not high class bakery stuff) for over a year, when she was
18 or so. It was as though she had gone crazy, but after that 15
month binge or whatever it was, she started eating all KINDS of food--
exotic fancy foods. She married a cook, and got interested and brave.
Nobody "made" her change her diet. She just did.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 6/3/2010 5:39 AM, Deb Lewis wrote:
a wide variety of foods and let her eat without you paying attention. I
mean - put out a variety of foods and let her eat from them what she
wants. Like a potluck or buffet table, but just little amounts of each
thing. Don't put ANYTHING out that you know already she doesn't like. If
she asks for something, giver her more of it. But if she doesn't try
something, don't even notice. Just clear up when she's done and feed the
left-overs to others or to the dog <G>. Be very matter of fact about it
- hide your concerns. Do this for a few years and then get back to us.
-pam
> And as others have said, don't press it if the answer is "no."There shouldn't even be a reason for her to have to say "no." Just offer
a wide variety of foods and let her eat without you paying attention. I
mean - put out a variety of foods and let her eat from them what she
wants. Like a potluck or buffet table, but just little amounts of each
thing. Don't put ANYTHING out that you know already she doesn't like. If
she asks for something, giver her more of it. But if she doesn't try
something, don't even notice. Just clear up when she's done and feed the
left-overs to others or to the dog <G>. Be very matter of fact about it
- hide your concerns. Do this for a few years and then get back to us.
-pam
Marina DeLuca-Howard
When I was a La Leche Leader mothers agonized about food. No amount of
reassurance that Clara Davis studies in the 1930's showed kids will go on
food jags, but eat a balanced diet if one does a long term study.
My kids happily eating grapefruit and using cutlery as two year olds always
brought questions of "how"? The explanation was always greeted with
disbelief, generally based on the idea that treating your child respectfully
and as a partner in the eating venture was starting parenting off on the
wrong foot. Their perspective stemmed from an idea that one needs to
establish control early and that a lack of discipline or control at this
stage meant more trouble ahead. Expert books on childrearing and nutrition
were certainly creating more fear than helping people. There is no secret
to eating, really. Mostly, I eat when hungry, around my kids, who
occasionally share my food. Other times they eat something else.
I discovered Ruby Red Grapefruits as an adult and bought a bag of ones on
sale as a loss leader one day to have as a quick C-filled snack. Rowan, as
a one year old, noticed how much I enjoyed this food and how abundant it
seemed to be, yet I was offering him apple, avocado and banana. Quickly, he
made it known he wanted a grapefruit. I hesitated thinking he wouldn't like
it, but figured he might enjoy playing with it. This simple act of trust,
overcoming my bias that kids didn't like grapefruit, gave Rowan the
opportunity to discover one of his favourite foods. He began enjoying them
in earnest. As his world broadened he began making other food choices,
always wanting to try things others were eating: oreos, jello, or
starfruits. At first I agonized over the junkfood. But soon I was
following a motto of "not refusing". I offered the protein and vitamin
enriched foods first, but never worried about the others.
My other sons were quite similar. I never strapped my children to high
chairs and spoon-fed them. We discovered food. As soon as they could sit
upright we went on picnics--eating on cloths spread on the ground or floor.
Focus on candles, colour and table setting. Make food fun, and forget what
the child is eating. Eat what you like, and eat what they like and focus on
enjoying one another's company.
For the last few years Martin(10) has lived off meat and what most parents
call "junkfood". But he loves carrot juice and fruit. Lettuce is
overrated--its not exactly a powerhouse of vitamins, minerals or protein.
The only time he eats it is on his burger. The others will eat lettuce,
except with dressing in salad guise. They eat handfuls while I prepare the
salad. I used to make extra large ones, convinced the kids would eat the
whole thing and fight over the last scraps. But they never touched the
salad--though they ate the veggies off the cutting board with obvious
relish. I have found my kids love crudite plates, and often I'm the only
one eating the dip:) Who would have thought raw undressed purple cabbage
would be a kid fav?
Marina
�If you want to build a boat, do not instruct the men to saw wood, stitch
the sails, prepare the tools and organize the work, but make them long for
setting sail and travel to distant lands.� � Antoine De Saint-Exup�ry
Rent our cottage: http://davehoward.ca/cottage/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
reassurance that Clara Davis studies in the 1930's showed kids will go on
food jags, but eat a balanced diet if one does a long term study.
My kids happily eating grapefruit and using cutlery as two year olds always
brought questions of "how"? The explanation was always greeted with
disbelief, generally based on the idea that treating your child respectfully
and as a partner in the eating venture was starting parenting off on the
wrong foot. Their perspective stemmed from an idea that one needs to
establish control early and that a lack of discipline or control at this
stage meant more trouble ahead. Expert books on childrearing and nutrition
were certainly creating more fear than helping people. There is no secret
to eating, really. Mostly, I eat when hungry, around my kids, who
occasionally share my food. Other times they eat something else.
I discovered Ruby Red Grapefruits as an adult and bought a bag of ones on
sale as a loss leader one day to have as a quick C-filled snack. Rowan, as
a one year old, noticed how much I enjoyed this food and how abundant it
seemed to be, yet I was offering him apple, avocado and banana. Quickly, he
made it known he wanted a grapefruit. I hesitated thinking he wouldn't like
it, but figured he might enjoy playing with it. This simple act of trust,
overcoming my bias that kids didn't like grapefruit, gave Rowan the
opportunity to discover one of his favourite foods. He began enjoying them
in earnest. As his world broadened he began making other food choices,
always wanting to try things others were eating: oreos, jello, or
starfruits. At first I agonized over the junkfood. But soon I was
following a motto of "not refusing". I offered the protein and vitamin
enriched foods first, but never worried about the others.
My other sons were quite similar. I never strapped my children to high
chairs and spoon-fed them. We discovered food. As soon as they could sit
upright we went on picnics--eating on cloths spread on the ground or floor.
Focus on candles, colour and table setting. Make food fun, and forget what
the child is eating. Eat what you like, and eat what they like and focus on
enjoying one another's company.
For the last few years Martin(10) has lived off meat and what most parents
call "junkfood". But he loves carrot juice and fruit. Lettuce is
overrated--its not exactly a powerhouse of vitamins, minerals or protein.
The only time he eats it is on his burger. The others will eat lettuce,
except with dressing in salad guise. They eat handfuls while I prepare the
salad. I used to make extra large ones, convinced the kids would eat the
whole thing and fight over the last scraps. But they never touched the
salad--though they ate the veggies off the cutting board with obvious
relish. I have found my kids love crudite plates, and often I'm the only
one eating the dip:) Who would have thought raw undressed purple cabbage
would be a kid fav?
Marina
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