Fairness & apologies
[email protected]
==When someone with a baby who hasn't been honest about her motivations for
being on the list ==
I'm not used to seeing my name associated with not honest. I was going to let it go, thinking that any post trying to set the record straight would be banned. But it doesn't feel right.
On Jan 31, Sandra Dodd and I had an email exchange (about a banned post :) ) I wrote to Sandra that I was doing a documentary. Her response was:
"There have been people who have done documentaries on unschooling before, and newspaper articles, and magazine articles, and when I saw their results I was stunned at how little they understood. I have been thoroughly interviewed many times, and nobody has understood it yet without being around unschoolers for a long time and really seeing it work."
I don't expect Sandra (or anybody) to remember every email you receive or write. But you can't accuse me now of having hidden something from you and I don't feel like i was treated with fairness by being repeatedly called not honest and not upfront when I was, in fact, upfront and honest with you.
Also, the film I'm working on is on Autonomous Learning, not on Radical Unschooling. I joined this list for personal reasons, for my growth and learning as a parent. It's helped a lot and I'm grateful for that.
Yes, the quote was accurate. I didn't botch it, it came in two separate emails. Sandra, and everybody, feel free to email Naomi Aldort if you'd like to check the accuracy of the quote or discuss any part of this with her. Her email is on website naomialdort.com I agree with those who wrote that any conversation with her should be happening directly.
I made a big mistake by posting a link to her article. I will avoid such mistakes in the future by not posting. There is enough info in the archives so that I don't need to ask my own questions. I apologize for any trouble I have caused here.
Best,
Clara
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being on the list ==
I'm not used to seeing my name associated with not honest. I was going to let it go, thinking that any post trying to set the record straight would be banned. But it doesn't feel right.
On Jan 31, Sandra Dodd and I had an email exchange (about a banned post :) ) I wrote to Sandra that I was doing a documentary. Her response was:
"There have been people who have done documentaries on unschooling before, and newspaper articles, and magazine articles, and when I saw their results I was stunned at how little they understood. I have been thoroughly interviewed many times, and nobody has understood it yet without being around unschoolers for a long time and really seeing it work."
I don't expect Sandra (or anybody) to remember every email you receive or write. But you can't accuse me now of having hidden something from you and I don't feel like i was treated with fairness by being repeatedly called not honest and not upfront when I was, in fact, upfront and honest with you.
Also, the film I'm working on is on Autonomous Learning, not on Radical Unschooling. I joined this list for personal reasons, for my growth and learning as a parent. It's helped a lot and I'm grateful for that.
Yes, the quote was accurate. I didn't botch it, it came in two separate emails. Sandra, and everybody, feel free to email Naomi Aldort if you'd like to check the accuracy of the quote or discuss any part of this with her. Her email is on website naomialdort.com I agree with those who wrote that any conversation with her should be happening directly.
I made a big mistake by posting a link to her article. I will avoid such mistakes in the future by not posting. There is enough info in the archives so that I don't need to ask my own questions. I apologize for any trouble I have caused here.
Best,
Clara
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Ed Wendell
But that was a private conversation (email) with Sandra - what about openness and clarity with the other posters on this list?
You simply asked us to read the web site with Q's & A's and asked for our input for your better understanding. Unless I missed something, I don't remember you stating to the group - posters that spend a huge part of their time reading and answering posts - that you were making a documentary. I don't like feeling like a lab rat - when I'm working a full time job AND unschooling my almost 16 year old son. I feel like we were being observed through a one way window with questions meant only to pick our brains for a research project, not questions of a parent trying to understand how to be a better parent / have a better relationship with their child.
Lisa W.
< I wrote to Sandra that I was doing a documentary. >
< I don't expect Sandra (or anybody) to remember every email you receive or write. But you can't accuse me now of having hidden something from you and I don't feel like i was treated with fairness by being repeatedly called not honest and not upfront when I was, in fact, upfront and honest with you. >
Clara
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You simply asked us to read the web site with Q's & A's and asked for our input for your better understanding. Unless I missed something, I don't remember you stating to the group - posters that spend a huge part of their time reading and answering posts - that you were making a documentary. I don't like feeling like a lab rat - when I'm working a full time job AND unschooling my almost 16 year old son. I feel like we were being observed through a one way window with questions meant only to pick our brains for a research project, not questions of a parent trying to understand how to be a better parent / have a better relationship with their child.
Lisa W.
< I wrote to Sandra that I was doing a documentary. >
< I don't expect Sandra (or anybody) to remember every email you receive or write. But you can't accuse me now of having hidden something from you and I don't feel like i was treated with fairness by being repeatedly called not honest and not upfront when I was, in fact, upfront and honest with you. >
Clara
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Vidyut Kale
"I made a big mistake by posting a link to her article. I will avoid such
mistakes in the future by not posting. There is enough info in the archives
so that I don't need to ask my own questions. I apologize for any trouble I
have caused here."
The mistake was not in asking questions. It was in asking questions
elsewhere and linking to the output here. So, in essence, you haven't asked
anything here other than opinions on your conversation with someone else.
Doesn't help to say, "Ok, so you didn't like me telling you that. I will not
tell you anything" variety stuff. Might be better to look at how
conversations can be made to work. After all, isn't that what we learn to do
with our unschooling kids - to move away from all or none?
I can speak for myself. It wasn't so much the asking as it was the way it
was asked, Though the documentary angle explains the 'tell me everything
about everything' feeling I got when asked for opinions on an article that
says so many things. The conversation has already happened. The 'expert'
sounds conclusive and unavailable for dialogue. There are people who hit
their kids in the world too. What can I do? I can only look and shrug and
not do those things myself. So I feel like a child asked to "recite a poem".
I would have appreciated at least knowing anything specific *you* wanted a
conversation around out of that laundry list. If you had quoted what you
found interesting or would like opinions on; the link would have been a
reference rather than an assignment and not offensive at all. You are a
member here, and a dialogue is possible. That changes everything.
Vidyut
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mistakes in the future by not posting. There is enough info in the archives
so that I don't need to ask my own questions. I apologize for any trouble I
have caused here."
The mistake was not in asking questions. It was in asking questions
elsewhere and linking to the output here. So, in essence, you haven't asked
anything here other than opinions on your conversation with someone else.
Doesn't help to say, "Ok, so you didn't like me telling you that. I will not
tell you anything" variety stuff. Might be better to look at how
conversations can be made to work. After all, isn't that what we learn to do
with our unschooling kids - to move away from all or none?
I can speak for myself. It wasn't so much the asking as it was the way it
was asked, Though the documentary angle explains the 'tell me everything
about everything' feeling I got when asked for opinions on an article that
says so many things. The conversation has already happened. The 'expert'
sounds conclusive and unavailable for dialogue. There are people who hit
their kids in the world too. What can I do? I can only look and shrug and
not do those things myself. So I feel like a child asked to "recite a poem".
I would have appreciated at least knowing anything specific *you* wanted a
conversation around out of that laundry list. If you had quoted what you
found interesting or would like opinions on; the link would have been a
reference rather than an assignment and not offensive at all. You are a
member here, and a dialogue is possible. That changes everything.
Vidyut
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