unschoolykids

I am new to this list but have been unschooling my kids since birth. My question is about my ds(almost 7) and my dd(4). When they get upset with each other they start to hurt each other. Scratching and pinching seem to be the most hurtful. I have been inserting myself into the situation to diffuse however it got started. This works, especially when I can *see* it before it happens. But, I am having a problem when it happens in a flash or when I am not right there (like if I have to pee or am across the room). My biggest concern is me. I seem to be at a loss for the right words to use once the pinching/scratching has happened (and it happens fast!) I get pretty internally upset and my brain jumps to the consequence route when I see one or the other hurt each other and am at a loss for words other than "STOP! STOP! STOP!" and then tend to the wounded. I could use some advice on a more gentle approach on my part in order to model to them.

Please let me know if I need to give more info.

Thanks in advance...
Rachel

unschoolykids

I am new to this list but have been unschooling my kids since birth. My question is about my ds(almost 7) and my dd(4). When they get upset with each other they start to hurt each other. Scratching and pinching seem to be the most hurtful. I have been inserting myself into the situation to diffuse however it got started. This works, especially when I can *see* it before it happens. But, I am having a problem when it happens in a flash or when I am not right there (like if I have to pee or am across the room). My biggest concern is me. I seem to be at a loss for the right words to use once the pinching/scratching has happened (and it happens fast!) I get pretty internally upset and my brain jumps to the consequence route when I see one or the other hurt each other and am at a loss for words other than "STOP! STOP! STOP!" and then tend to the wounded. I could use some advice on a more gentle approach on my part in order to model to them.

Please let me know if I need to give more info.

Thanks in advance...
Rachel

Sandra Dodd

This is what I did with my boys. You could make "make a rule" or
rather make a procedure by which they can pinch and scratch.

http://sandradodd.com/peace/fighting

Sandra