I want to post some positive things that have been happening
Deborah McKee Kelly
I am definitely new to unschooling. I love reading all the posts and
Sandra's stuff and haven't posted much myself. I have been seeing some
really neat stuff happening in our house, though, and I wanted to share.
I have the privilege of living and learning with a 9-year-old boy who is my
step-son. I also have an almost-1-year-old daughter (as of St. Patrick's
Day, next week!). I also have a 14-year-old step-daughter who attends
public school, and I am due with my second baby in May. Whew. My energy
level waxes and wanes.
Julian, my step-son, and I (and Julian's dad, my hubby Darin) have been
deschooling for only a little while -- maybe since December, so not long at
all. He had been homeschooled by his grandmother in a very traditional,
structured curriculum/program since he "started school" at age five. Since
I "took over," as it was termed, we've been working on deschooling. And we
are still going to be working on that for a long time.
Julian has been saying and hearing "let's do school," "let's get done with
school so we can do something fun," "are you/we done with school yet?" "how
much school have you got done?" his whole life. That line of commentary
about "school" had become very stifling for all of us. We had a "school
room" in our house, up on the third floor, that he avoided at all times
unless forced, a room he hated. As soon as I became the "teacher" (another
word we have tossed out for the most part, although Julian still uses it
from time to time), one of the first things we did was to empty the school
room out. I told Julian he could have that room to turn into a play room or
whatever. You ought to see it now. He filled it up with toys and Legos and
race tracks. He's got a cool racetrack set up in there, and spends hours
playing with his cars and other toys that have been sort of packed away and
hard to get to for awhile. I packed away a lot of the schooly stuff in
totes, to go through later. I've kept out many books and stuff and brought
them down to my bookshelves, but since we've been pretty "grade"-oriented
here for a long time, I am putting away text books that proclaim to be
"fourth grade" or "fifth grade," etc.
About the "teacher" word: for awhile, J was going around telling everyone,
"Deb is my teacher now, not Gram." But we kind of talked about that -- he
and I have been having conversations about "learning" and finding things out
together. It's been helpful to have a baby around who is learning all kinds
of stuff, because I can use her as an example. I say things like, "Look at
your little sister learning to walk. I can't teach her that -- I'm not her
teacher. She is learning because she is enjoying the challenge and the new
feel of being able to get around in a different way. There's not much I can
do except offer a hand or a support, and give her a big hug when she is so
happy with herself for walking. Same thing with you -- I don't know most of
these things you're interested in, so we have to learn together." And he's
realizing that I don't do what his Gram did -- make him sit at a desk in the
school room, while I stand up at a white board at the front of the room and
lecture from curriculum books. So, that's what he thinks of when he thinks
"teacher," and I don't do anything close to that.
When Julian asks me his million questions daily, my common response is, "I
really don't know -- let's look it up." He used to hate that -- because it
meant he was going to get a "lesson." But now, if we look something up, we
only look it up long enough to satiate his momentary curiosity. Some things
he spends more time on, but others, he has a fleeting question (as I do
sometimes), and it's good enough to find a definition or a quick blurb on
Wikipedia or something. Also, he asks me the meanings of words fairly
often. I used to ask him to look the words up, but now, most of the time, I
just give him the definition if I feel like I can give him a good definition
or a good, useful synonym. He has a dictionary lying around if I'm not
available or if I can't seem to put the right meaning to the word. Then
I'll look it up for or with him.
Our biggest obstacle is Julian's bio-mom, only because she has a real say in
whether or not Julian continues to be homeschooled. She could come to us
disgruntled and say, "I want him in school," and we'd have to discuss it
with her and come to a compromise. Julian keeps saying, "I didn't do any
school today," or "We didn't hardly do anything today," which, if we were an
intact family and not subject to whims of another parent, wouldn't bother me
at all. We've kind of had to work around that -- talking about how we're
all always learning, and he does some computer-based stuff that he enjoys.
I find this is the most difficult part for me -- having to answer to someone
else about him. There are very few "have-tos," but this is one that I can't
figure a way around. Julian's bio-mom isn't capable of taking care of him,
but she has a lot of say in how *we* take care of him. I don't know if it
will ever come up, but I do keep track (out of Julian's sight) of the
"projects" he does and activities he does so that I can, if necessary, try
to justify the types of learning he is experiencing. Some people, I
understand, have to do this based on the state in which they live. We live
in Indiana -- a very laid-back homeschooling state as far as reporting
requirements (as in, we only have to report attendance) -- but I just
imagine myself living in a more strict state where I may have to answer to
someone at some point, and make notes to that effect.
Luckily, my hubby and I are both pretty connected with the idea of
unschooling -- something I was thinking about last night, and wanted to
mention. He and I are both over-educated, and we both agree that the amount
of formal education we received was unnecessary.
We both left "mainstream" jobs and made lots of sacrifices to live a
family-centered life, growing veggies and selling to restaurants and farmers
markets to make our living. My husband is not attached to any sense of
competition for his children, nor does he care whether or not they go to
college or do anything that mainstream society might expect for them. If
they want to work with us on the farm, great. If they want to do something
else, great. He supports their passions, and has no problem with Julian
deciding he'd rather spend the day working in the greenhouse with dad than
inside reading. We both like "apprentice"-type learning, and try to find
other adults who are doing things that Julian might express an interest in.
As he gets older, we'll probably help him find resources like that for
things that inspire him. Not too worried about it at the moment.
I know this message is all over the place, but I wanted to mention one other
thing. Julian's Gram had placed all of the "age-appropriate" books on
shelves in the school room when she was teaching. And since Julian avoided
anything smacking of school or the school room, those books sat there
collecting dust. When I emptied the room out, we carried a bunch of those
books down to the main living area in our house, where we have all kinds of
books on shelves -- my books, Darin's books, baby and little kid books,
reference books, etc. When Julian was "doing school," his Gram required him
to do book reports -- which he hated and which I thought were incredibly
counterproductive and boring. It made him HATE reading, hate books, and
hate writing. Well, since we quit all that nonsense, and I scattered all
those books among our books, he has been asking me things like, "Deb, can I
pick out a book to read?" I said sure and told him he doesn't have to ask
me. He devoured James and the Giant Peach in two days about a week ago.
Only thing I asked him was if he liked it. There are other books lying
around and I'm not suggesting anything at all. I love reading. His dad is
a big reader. We read a lot to Josephine (the baby). And he reads a lot on
his computer games -- mostly World of Warcraft.
I have also noticed this: he is spending less time on World of Warcraft and
more time doing all kinds of other stuff -- NOT that there is anything wrong
with video games, but I will say that I think World of Warcraft had become
J's ONLY means of control in his world. He used to die to "finish" school
so he could get to his WoW. I don't have a problem with WoW. Nowadays,
though, he'll spend a little time on WoW, then go outside and play a little,
then go up to his playroom, then read for awhile, then watch TV for awhile,
etc. I just think he feels a little bit more in control of his world, and
WoW is just part of it.
He is watching a lot of TV -- mostly PBS because we don't have cable -- and
he watches a lot of shows that are maybe "too young" for him -- but I don't
care. He never got to watch this stuff before because he was so busy "doing
school." He gets something out of these shows, and when he gets tired of
them, he'll move on, I'm sure. He also LOVES to watch M*A*S*H -- his dad's
favorite show -- and he will watch one episode after another from our DVDs.
He has had all kinds of questions about war, and army ranks, and how things
are now in Korea and medicine and ethics (even though he doesn't know that's
what he's asking).
Anyway, I just wanted to post some of our positives as we continue to
deschool and as Julian is getting more control over his world.
The list has been really helpful to me during this process.
Deb
--
_____________________
Deb McKee Kelly | dlmckee@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra's stuff and haven't posted much myself. I have been seeing some
really neat stuff happening in our house, though, and I wanted to share.
I have the privilege of living and learning with a 9-year-old boy who is my
step-son. I also have an almost-1-year-old daughter (as of St. Patrick's
Day, next week!). I also have a 14-year-old step-daughter who attends
public school, and I am due with my second baby in May. Whew. My energy
level waxes and wanes.
Julian, my step-son, and I (and Julian's dad, my hubby Darin) have been
deschooling for only a little while -- maybe since December, so not long at
all. He had been homeschooled by his grandmother in a very traditional,
structured curriculum/program since he "started school" at age five. Since
I "took over," as it was termed, we've been working on deschooling. And we
are still going to be working on that for a long time.
Julian has been saying and hearing "let's do school," "let's get done with
school so we can do something fun," "are you/we done with school yet?" "how
much school have you got done?" his whole life. That line of commentary
about "school" had become very stifling for all of us. We had a "school
room" in our house, up on the third floor, that he avoided at all times
unless forced, a room he hated. As soon as I became the "teacher" (another
word we have tossed out for the most part, although Julian still uses it
from time to time), one of the first things we did was to empty the school
room out. I told Julian he could have that room to turn into a play room or
whatever. You ought to see it now. He filled it up with toys and Legos and
race tracks. He's got a cool racetrack set up in there, and spends hours
playing with his cars and other toys that have been sort of packed away and
hard to get to for awhile. I packed away a lot of the schooly stuff in
totes, to go through later. I've kept out many books and stuff and brought
them down to my bookshelves, but since we've been pretty "grade"-oriented
here for a long time, I am putting away text books that proclaim to be
"fourth grade" or "fifth grade," etc.
About the "teacher" word: for awhile, J was going around telling everyone,
"Deb is my teacher now, not Gram." But we kind of talked about that -- he
and I have been having conversations about "learning" and finding things out
together. It's been helpful to have a baby around who is learning all kinds
of stuff, because I can use her as an example. I say things like, "Look at
your little sister learning to walk. I can't teach her that -- I'm not her
teacher. She is learning because she is enjoying the challenge and the new
feel of being able to get around in a different way. There's not much I can
do except offer a hand or a support, and give her a big hug when she is so
happy with herself for walking. Same thing with you -- I don't know most of
these things you're interested in, so we have to learn together." And he's
realizing that I don't do what his Gram did -- make him sit at a desk in the
school room, while I stand up at a white board at the front of the room and
lecture from curriculum books. So, that's what he thinks of when he thinks
"teacher," and I don't do anything close to that.
When Julian asks me his million questions daily, my common response is, "I
really don't know -- let's look it up." He used to hate that -- because it
meant he was going to get a "lesson." But now, if we look something up, we
only look it up long enough to satiate his momentary curiosity. Some things
he spends more time on, but others, he has a fleeting question (as I do
sometimes), and it's good enough to find a definition or a quick blurb on
Wikipedia or something. Also, he asks me the meanings of words fairly
often. I used to ask him to look the words up, but now, most of the time, I
just give him the definition if I feel like I can give him a good definition
or a good, useful synonym. He has a dictionary lying around if I'm not
available or if I can't seem to put the right meaning to the word. Then
I'll look it up for or with him.
Our biggest obstacle is Julian's bio-mom, only because she has a real say in
whether or not Julian continues to be homeschooled. She could come to us
disgruntled and say, "I want him in school," and we'd have to discuss it
with her and come to a compromise. Julian keeps saying, "I didn't do any
school today," or "We didn't hardly do anything today," which, if we were an
intact family and not subject to whims of another parent, wouldn't bother me
at all. We've kind of had to work around that -- talking about how we're
all always learning, and he does some computer-based stuff that he enjoys.
I find this is the most difficult part for me -- having to answer to someone
else about him. There are very few "have-tos," but this is one that I can't
figure a way around. Julian's bio-mom isn't capable of taking care of him,
but she has a lot of say in how *we* take care of him. I don't know if it
will ever come up, but I do keep track (out of Julian's sight) of the
"projects" he does and activities he does so that I can, if necessary, try
to justify the types of learning he is experiencing. Some people, I
understand, have to do this based on the state in which they live. We live
in Indiana -- a very laid-back homeschooling state as far as reporting
requirements (as in, we only have to report attendance) -- but I just
imagine myself living in a more strict state where I may have to answer to
someone at some point, and make notes to that effect.
Luckily, my hubby and I are both pretty connected with the idea of
unschooling -- something I was thinking about last night, and wanted to
mention. He and I are both over-educated, and we both agree that the amount
of formal education we received was unnecessary.
We both left "mainstream" jobs and made lots of sacrifices to live a
family-centered life, growing veggies and selling to restaurants and farmers
markets to make our living. My husband is not attached to any sense of
competition for his children, nor does he care whether or not they go to
college or do anything that mainstream society might expect for them. If
they want to work with us on the farm, great. If they want to do something
else, great. He supports their passions, and has no problem with Julian
deciding he'd rather spend the day working in the greenhouse with dad than
inside reading. We both like "apprentice"-type learning, and try to find
other adults who are doing things that Julian might express an interest in.
As he gets older, we'll probably help him find resources like that for
things that inspire him. Not too worried about it at the moment.
I know this message is all over the place, but I wanted to mention one other
thing. Julian's Gram had placed all of the "age-appropriate" books on
shelves in the school room when she was teaching. And since Julian avoided
anything smacking of school or the school room, those books sat there
collecting dust. When I emptied the room out, we carried a bunch of those
books down to the main living area in our house, where we have all kinds of
books on shelves -- my books, Darin's books, baby and little kid books,
reference books, etc. When Julian was "doing school," his Gram required him
to do book reports -- which he hated and which I thought were incredibly
counterproductive and boring. It made him HATE reading, hate books, and
hate writing. Well, since we quit all that nonsense, and I scattered all
those books among our books, he has been asking me things like, "Deb, can I
pick out a book to read?" I said sure and told him he doesn't have to ask
me. He devoured James and the Giant Peach in two days about a week ago.
Only thing I asked him was if he liked it. There are other books lying
around and I'm not suggesting anything at all. I love reading. His dad is
a big reader. We read a lot to Josephine (the baby). And he reads a lot on
his computer games -- mostly World of Warcraft.
I have also noticed this: he is spending less time on World of Warcraft and
more time doing all kinds of other stuff -- NOT that there is anything wrong
with video games, but I will say that I think World of Warcraft had become
J's ONLY means of control in his world. He used to die to "finish" school
so he could get to his WoW. I don't have a problem with WoW. Nowadays,
though, he'll spend a little time on WoW, then go outside and play a little,
then go up to his playroom, then read for awhile, then watch TV for awhile,
etc. I just think he feels a little bit more in control of his world, and
WoW is just part of it.
He is watching a lot of TV -- mostly PBS because we don't have cable -- and
he watches a lot of shows that are maybe "too young" for him -- but I don't
care. He never got to watch this stuff before because he was so busy "doing
school." He gets something out of these shows, and when he gets tired of
them, he'll move on, I'm sure. He also LOVES to watch M*A*S*H -- his dad's
favorite show -- and he will watch one episode after another from our DVDs.
He has had all kinds of questions about war, and army ranks, and how things
are now in Korea and medicine and ethics (even though he doesn't know that's
what he's asking).
Anyway, I just wanted to post some of our positives as we continue to
deschool and as Julian is getting more control over his world.
The list has been really helpful to me during this process.
Deb
--
_____________________
Deb McKee Kelly | dlmckee@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 3/11/2010 6:56 AM, Deborah McKee Kelly wrote:
aimed at younger kids is really interesting. Rosie, especially, has gone
through phases of watching a lot of kids' shows on tv (and it wasn't
because she missed out on them when she was young). For her, there is
some kind of recentering going on within her when she does this. I get
the feeling of it putting her back in touch with who she was when she
watched those shows - there is some kind of personality integration
going on.
-pam
> Anyway, I just wanted to post some of our positives as we continue toNice update! I think the phenomenon of older kids watching tv shows
> deschool and as Julian is getting more control over his world.
>
> The list has been really helpful to me during this process.
aimed at younger kids is really interesting. Rosie, especially, has gone
through phases of watching a lot of kids' shows on tv (and it wasn't
because she missed out on them when she was young). For her, there is
some kind of recentering going on within her when she does this. I get
the feeling of it putting her back in touch with who she was when she
watched those shows - there is some kind of personality integration
going on.
-pam
Sandra Dodd
-=-I think the phenomenon of older kids watching tv shows
aimed at younger kids is really interesting. Rosie, especially, has gone
through phases of watching a lot of kids' shows on tv (and it wasn't
because she missed out on them when she was young). For her, there is
some kind of recentering going on within her when she does this. I get
the feeling of it putting her back in touch with who she was when she
watched those shows - there is some kind of personality integration
going on.-=-
Holly watches them with an eye to how they were produced and what the
intent is. She came back with stories about children's shows in the
U.K., especially Big Cook, Little Cook.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNKfTrrJVJI
She watches them just for fun, too, but even when she was little she
would come and say "They're trying to help kids want to go to school,"
or "This is about being nice to old people."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
aimed at younger kids is really interesting. Rosie, especially, has gone
through phases of watching a lot of kids' shows on tv (and it wasn't
because she missed out on them when she was young). For her, there is
some kind of recentering going on within her when she does this. I get
the feeling of it putting her back in touch with who she was when she
watched those shows - there is some kind of personality integration
going on.-=-
Holly watches them with an eye to how they were produced and what the
intent is. She came back with stories about children's shows in the
U.K., especially Big Cook, Little Cook.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNKfTrrJVJI
She watches them just for fun, too, but even when she was little she
would come and say "They're trying to help kids want to go to school,"
or "This is about being nice to old people."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***Anyway, I just wanted to post some of our positives as we continue to
deschool and as Julian is getting more control over his world.***
Wow! Thanks for sharing all of that! I have a question... How's his relationship with his gram now that she's not his teacher anymore? When you first posted a while back I had wondering how that would change.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
deschool and as Julian is getting more control over his world.***
Wow! Thanks for sharing all of that! I have a question... How's his relationship with his gram now that she's not his teacher anymore? When you first posted a while back I had wondering how that would change.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deborah McKee Kelly
Jenny Cyphers said: "
Wow! Thanks for sharing all of that! I have a question... How's his
relationship with his gram now that she's not his teacher anymore? When you
first posted a while back I had wondering how that would change."
His relationship with his Gram (who, for the record, is my mother-in-law)
has not changed, except in the amount of time he spends with her. He loves
doing fun things with her, which has actually been better, I think, because
she doesn't feel forced into this role as "teacher." She really struggled
with the role switch, thinking she had to be this tough disciplinarian as
his teacher and then feeling all guilty as his grandmother. That's what
happened with the older child, my step-daughter, who is now 14 and in public
school. Their relationship deteriorated to the point of tears and fighting
and awful, awful "school" days by the time Caitlin was 11. It was awful.
Which is partly why Darin and I decided we needed to transition Julian
before the same thing happened. He was starting to hate learning and he was
starting to rebel a lot against his Gram.
I think it's been better for both of them.
Biggest issue is that when she comes over or sees him, one of the first
things she inevitably asks Julian is, "How's school going?"
Since Julian's days are nothing like his school days with her, he usually
says, "I'm not really doing much school," and she looks at me alarmed and
starts giving me ideas.
She made a big deal about it when she was giving up teaching, because she
thought I might not be able to "handle everything" with the baby and another
on the way. I continue to assure her that we are handling things and that
he is learning. Of course, in her mind, Handling It means doing it Her Way,
and we're not doing that, so....she probably still thinks I'm not handling
it, but...whatever.
I frankly think it ticked her off when we emptied out the school room -- but
that's more about her relationship with *us* than anything having to do with
Julian. She adores Julian and he adores her.
She has always been really, really involved, and that's been part of our
transition that's been difficult, but has more required Darin to step up and
say, "Hey, this is my kid and this is how we want to live life with him --
not your way." Not that abruptly of course, but in his own mind.
Example of learning I shared with Gram recently:
A couple of weeks ago, our entire family came down with a terrible stomach
virus -- every single one of us, one day after another, got hit. Two of us
-- me and my step-daughter -- ended up in the hospital getting IV fluids
because of it. Julian had TONS of questions about viruses -- how they work,
how they spread, what they look like, how we avoid them in the future, etc.
etc. etc. So, for days and days after our bout, we looked up all kinds of
stuff about viruses. He had questions about soaps and cleaners and if the
virus could live on his toothbrush -- and so we spent as long as he wanted
talking about it and looking stuff up.
When I told his Gram about this, I think she almost felt a little jealous
that she hadn't had such interesting "science lessons" ever with him, or
such involvement or interest by him. I told her about it, because I often
share the ideas I think about learning and "education," and I used that as
an example of how we're "doing school" differently.
She has a lot of anxiety about the kids' bio-mom getting angry and seeking
custody -- we are more laid back about that. For one thing, it hasn't
happened. For another, it probably isn't ever going to happen. Julian's
bio-mom is a lot more reasonable than Gram gives her credit for, and she
knows we're taking good care of the kids. Anytime anything comes up, we all
talk about it. So, I'm really not concerned. But Gram will continue to
worry.
Gram also keeps bringing me school stuff from her house -- "for when
Josephine gets older" -- flash cards and grammar books etc. etc. etc. I
just thank her and pack them for "later."
Julian's relationship with Gram is fine -- OUR relationship with her
continues to evolve. :)
_____________________
Deb McKee Kelly | dlmckee@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wow! Thanks for sharing all of that! I have a question... How's his
relationship with his gram now that she's not his teacher anymore? When you
first posted a while back I had wondering how that would change."
His relationship with his Gram (who, for the record, is my mother-in-law)
has not changed, except in the amount of time he spends with her. He loves
doing fun things with her, which has actually been better, I think, because
she doesn't feel forced into this role as "teacher." She really struggled
with the role switch, thinking she had to be this tough disciplinarian as
his teacher and then feeling all guilty as his grandmother. That's what
happened with the older child, my step-daughter, who is now 14 and in public
school. Their relationship deteriorated to the point of tears and fighting
and awful, awful "school" days by the time Caitlin was 11. It was awful.
Which is partly why Darin and I decided we needed to transition Julian
before the same thing happened. He was starting to hate learning and he was
starting to rebel a lot against his Gram.
I think it's been better for both of them.
Biggest issue is that when she comes over or sees him, one of the first
things she inevitably asks Julian is, "How's school going?"
Since Julian's days are nothing like his school days with her, he usually
says, "I'm not really doing much school," and she looks at me alarmed and
starts giving me ideas.
She made a big deal about it when she was giving up teaching, because she
thought I might not be able to "handle everything" with the baby and another
on the way. I continue to assure her that we are handling things and that
he is learning. Of course, in her mind, Handling It means doing it Her Way,
and we're not doing that, so....she probably still thinks I'm not handling
it, but...whatever.
I frankly think it ticked her off when we emptied out the school room -- but
that's more about her relationship with *us* than anything having to do with
Julian. She adores Julian and he adores her.
She has always been really, really involved, and that's been part of our
transition that's been difficult, but has more required Darin to step up and
say, "Hey, this is my kid and this is how we want to live life with him --
not your way." Not that abruptly of course, but in his own mind.
Example of learning I shared with Gram recently:
A couple of weeks ago, our entire family came down with a terrible stomach
virus -- every single one of us, one day after another, got hit. Two of us
-- me and my step-daughter -- ended up in the hospital getting IV fluids
because of it. Julian had TONS of questions about viruses -- how they work,
how they spread, what they look like, how we avoid them in the future, etc.
etc. etc. So, for days and days after our bout, we looked up all kinds of
stuff about viruses. He had questions about soaps and cleaners and if the
virus could live on his toothbrush -- and so we spent as long as he wanted
talking about it and looking stuff up.
When I told his Gram about this, I think she almost felt a little jealous
that she hadn't had such interesting "science lessons" ever with him, or
such involvement or interest by him. I told her about it, because I often
share the ideas I think about learning and "education," and I used that as
an example of how we're "doing school" differently.
She has a lot of anxiety about the kids' bio-mom getting angry and seeking
custody -- we are more laid back about that. For one thing, it hasn't
happened. For another, it probably isn't ever going to happen. Julian's
bio-mom is a lot more reasonable than Gram gives her credit for, and she
knows we're taking good care of the kids. Anytime anything comes up, we all
talk about it. So, I'm really not concerned. But Gram will continue to
worry.
Gram also keeps bringing me school stuff from her house -- "for when
Josephine gets older" -- flash cards and grammar books etc. etc. etc. I
just thank her and pack them for "later."
Julian's relationship with Gram is fine -- OUR relationship with her
continues to evolve. :)
_____________________
Deb McKee Kelly | dlmckee@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
> His relationship with his Gram (who, for the record, is my mother-in-I wonder, Deb, if she might be open to reading Sandra's book (she's a
> law)
> has not changed, except in the amount of time he spends with her.
> He loves
> doing fun things with her, which has actually been better, I think,
> because
> she doesn't feel forced into this role as "teacher." She really
> struggled
> with the role switch, thinking she had to be this tough
> disciplinarian as
> his teacher and then feeling all guilty as his grandmother.
former teacher, too <g>)? It might help her relax about what she
perceived her role to be and enjoy her grandma-ness now.
It might be a good way to introduce what you are doing now with Julian
and maybe change the kind of interactions she has with him.
Robin B.