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My son is 4 years and 3 months old and my daughter is 15 months old.

Here are the things that bother me.

1. He would grab anything that my DD1 has in her hands.

2. He likes to block her way and she will get upset.

3. He said if she has one thing, he needs to have two. If she has three, he needs to have four. (I did use the opportunity to play with him on numbers. I said, she will have one hundred. My son hasn't learned "hundred". He paused and replied, he would have one hundred and two. I said, two hundreds. he replied, five hundreds. lol...funny to watch he "created" the numbers without being taught)

4. Sometimes, he would push her if we were not looking. And he would report to me like, "mama, she fell on her own". If I pointed out what he did, he would say, "mama, I didn't mean to. It was an accident."

5. He wants to be No. 1 all the time: the first one to wash hands, the faster runner, the smarter one...

But sometimes, he could be very sweet to her. He "babysits" and he could make her laugh. Sometimes I can tell he wants to play and the way he plays with her just upsets her.

My coping strategies:
1. I scolded him. It upsets both of us and it didn't stop him.

2. I stopped scolding him. Instead, I "rescued" DD1 from the scene. It did resolve the issue right there but didn't stop this type of behavior.

3. I explained to him She would like different way of interaction. It doesn't seem to register with him either.

4. I tried to spend time with one of each at a time. So far, this works the best. But we still have lots of time when we are all together.

1. If my DD1 gets a little bit older, will it be better and easier for them to play together?

2. any better ways?

Thanks for all replies.

Joy (DS4.25, DD1.25)

Ana Maria Bruce

If the four year old is responsible to soon for the younger one, that could be the reason....he has learned on his own to dominate.  Playing with them lets the older one see how you relate to the younger and how you care for them and deal with them when they take a toy away from you.  I tried to not leave a under 2 year old by himself to figure out social skills. :)

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