Sandra Dodd

Not so much I'm looking, but I'd like to see whether anyone else knows
her and might want to help her out some.

On MySpace there's someone listed as a 36 year old mom from Oregon,
who posts just as "Unschool." Holly had commented over the past few
months that some of those posts were out there, depressed, depressing,
and wondered whether I should say something. I figured at least there
would be people having access to the links on the page, which were
decent. And some of the posts were good. But increasingly they
became strident, and hateful.

If anyone knows who that is, maybe visit her or call or e-mail to see
if she's okay, because she doesn't really seem to be.

Some of the recent negative things:


UNSCHOOL Arguing w/ a 'farmer' on Twitter. Why? 'Cause I can.

UNSCHOOL I'm used to be ignored/unseen. Very familiar. Doesn't make it
feel any better... Oh well.
Mood: fuck it

UNSCHOOL Know what is interesting? We are allllllllll just people -
fucked up in the brain
Mood: no one cares

UNSCHOOL I feel sad :'( Sometimes I wonder - why... do I bother.
Mood: shit

UNSCHOOL That Ke$ha Album Premiere photo is stupid. It looks like she
is about to vomit into her hands.
Mood: f'n ads

UNSCHOOL Spend less, consume less. Live more. And kick your TV to the
curb!
Mood: contemplative

UNSCHOOL Trying to detox. It' hard enough w/ the diet but what do you
do w/ all the toxic people in your life?
Mood: overwhelmed

=============================

First, I'm concerned that she's using "Unschool" rather than her real
name, because that stuff isn't uplifting, it's not helpful to or about
unschooling, and I wish she would just use her real name. I wish
everyone would use a real name, either theirs or a reasonable and
consistent fictitious name, but not to post as "unschool" or
"unschooling."

Second, last night late she wrote something hateful about Holly, in
public. She wrote something stupid in a comment to me too, but I'm
used to that. She's picking on my baby, though, now, so I wondered if
maybe someone here could contact her, see if she's depressed, see if
she wants to delete that hateful nonsense, and maybe change her
username on MySpace.

Sandra

(Here's what she posted about me: Your kids suck. YOU = FAIL

I know; it's MySpace. Jr.-high-style behavior should be expected.
But she's posting as "Unschool," and she insulted my Holly. )

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=- Holly had commented over the past few
months that some of those posts were out there, depressed, depressing,
and wondered whether I should say something.-=-

Clarification:
She didn't post that on myspace, but to me at the house, in person.



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Lyla Wolfenstein

so you don't have a name? is there a pic? i will go look, since i am in oregon....
lyla

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Lyla Wolfenstein

when i search for "unschool" i come up with at teen boy...with a different user name - can you provide a link?


----- Original Message -----
From: Lyla Wolfenstein
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 11:57 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Kind of looking for an unschooler



so you don't have a name? is there a pic? i will go look, since i am in oregon....
lyla

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Chris Sanders

http://www.myspace.com/flyingredmonkies


On Feb 11, 2010, at 2:01 PM, Lyla Wolfenstein wrote:

> when i search for "unschool" i come up with at teen boy...with a
> different user name - can you provide a link?
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> Fr


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-is there a pic? -=-

Not of the poster, but two of one of her kids (or maybe her own child;
not clear)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lyla Wolfenstein

i looked through her whole friends list and don't recognize anyone except "village free school"...

wonder where in oregon she lives

----- Original Message -----
From: Sandra Dodd
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 12:46 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Kind of looking for an unschooler



-=-is there a pic? -=-

Not of the poster, but two of one of her kids (or maybe her own child;
not clear)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





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Jennifer Varela

On Thu, Feb 11, 2010 at 3:47 PM, Lyla Wolfenstein >>><lylaw@...>wrote:

> i looked through her whole friends list and don't recognize anyone except
> "village free school"...<<<<
>
>
I'm on her friends list. I was surprised to see her posts on my wall when I
pulled up myspace after reading here. I don't know her, though. I don't
use my myspace account, I only have 24 friends. I must have approved a
friendship request from her because I figured she was an unschooler. Wow,
she sure is negative! Not only that, but, rude.

Jen


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Jenny Cyphers

***i looked through her whole friends list and don't recognize anyone except "village free school"...***

If she's listed Village Free School, then she's in Portland right? Sandra is listed as one of her friends. Other than Sandra, I recognized one name on her friend's list, she's a face book friend. I will ask her. She doesn't appear to have her kids in the Village Free School, as I know others there and they aren't listed as friends, it's a pretty tight community, so I assume she'd have at least one friend from there....

It's a mystery!

I'm sorry about that Sandra, about all of that! Those who really know, know that she's not right about Holly! Holly is awesome!

This goes right in the "cynicism spoils happy unschooling". It really does! It seems this person cares more about animals than being nice to people, which is also one philosophy trumping another.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lyla Wolfenstein

----- Original Message -----
From: Jenny Cyphers
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 1:17 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Kind of looking for an unschooler



***i looked through her whole friends list and don't recognize anyone except "village free school"...***

If she's listed Village Free School, then she's in Portland right?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

not necessarily, jenny - she has lots of unchooly businesses and orgs for friends - could be just interested in freeschools...



lyla


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Jenny Cyphers

Oh, I sent you a message on facebook, you can ignore it then!

***Wow,
she sure is negative! Not only that, but, rude.***

I was thinking about that just now... you know happy people tend to piss off cynical mean people!





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Jennifer Varela

I thought it was bizaare that I was the only person friends with her and
wondered if maybe she knew me from somewhere. I googled her myspace url and
found: http://listorious.com/WaterSkipper That has her name and also a
twitter account of hers. I don't recognize the name at all, but, maybe
someone else will.

Jen


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Sandra Dodd

The rude post about Holly has been deleted, and this was posted a bit
ago:
======================

UNSCHOOL I think my turrets has passed....Mood: embarrassed
----------


Posted 2 hours ago
� view more
� comment


----------



UNSCHOOL Posted 33 minutes ago
I said some rude things about an unschooler and her mom... No matter
how I felt, I shouldn't have blurted out what I did. Sometimes, on the
internet - you write/say things and it doesn't seem like anyone is
listening. Wrong.

=====================================

I didn't understand "turrets has passed" at first, but I guess maybe
"tourette's" is what she meant. I'm sure Tourette's never causes
people to sign onto a website and type and the hit "send." But just
as many people do, it's being used as "king's X" or "time out"--an
excuse for very bad behavior. "It's not my fault, I have tourette's."

And that "I said some rude things" wasn't at all an apology. It says
"I'm sorry I got caught."

I'm disappointed, and I wish she would stop using "unschool" as a name.

I'm sorry this is so off topic for the list, but it does seem a good
example of how much more worthwhile it is to be hopeful and happy than
to be negative and cynical.


Sandra

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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

Sandra I am sorry anyone ever said and wrote something like that about your daughter.
I cannot understand a 36 ear old woman writing about a teen she probably does not even know in real life and saying such things.
I would be really upset of someone said or wrote such things about my teenage child.
Very upsetting and you are right. That was not an apologize but an excuse.
Again I am sorry wrote .



Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/





________________________________
F


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Jenny Cyphers

***I'm sorry this is so off topic for the list, but it does seem a good 
example of how much more worthwhile it is to be hopeful and happy than 
to be negative and cynical.***

I don't know that it's too off topic.  I mean look at how many people over the years have written stuff in anger, only to regret it later.  People DO get defensive and mean.  People who have been on unschooling lists for a long time know that because they've seen it happen many times over the years.

What we write and how we present ourselves are a big part of who we are as a person.  I try to be really careful about what I put online.  There is something on my blog that I've toyed with taking off for a while, but each time I decide to leave it there.  It's me reacting to something, not my best writing, but everything I said was true.  If the person, who it's about ever saw it, she'd be mad.  She might not let her daughter hang out with my daughter anymore.  I talked to Chamille about it and she said to leave it.  I've talked with the woman since the initial incidence that caused me to write, but she has yet to apologize to Chamille for the cruel things she said and the way she said it.  In a way I guess I'm holding onto it waiting for that to happen (and it's an interesting peice of writing that shows how Chamille analytically poured her emotions out).

If a person chooses to represent themselves online as "unschool", they should acknowledge that they may have an audience because unschooling has a small population to begin with, and it's largely online.  So if this woman had written about anyone else, it may or may not have had ripples, but she chose to write about Holly, yucky things, while simultaneously having links to Sandra's website and a video of Pam Sorooshian, one of Sandra's good friends.  That makes it even more tacky!  It's thoughtless and unschooling requires more thought, not less!

I'd also say that unschooling requires honesty and happiness to flourish.  In a way, it highlights a good example of what NOT to do.




________________________________
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, February 11, 2010 6:52:46 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Kind of looking for an unschooler

The rude post about Holly has been deleted, and this was posted a bit 
ago:
======================

UNSCHOOL I think my turrets has passed....Mood: embarrassed
  ----------


Posted 2 hours ago
    • view more
    • comment
    •

  ----------



UNSCHOOL Posted 33 minutes ago
I said some rude things about an unschooler and her mom... No matter 
how I felt, I shouldn't have blurted out what I did. Sometimes, on the 
internet - you write/say things and it doesn't seem like anyone is 
listening. Wrong.

=====================================

I didn't understand "turrets has passed" at first, but I guess maybe 
"tourette's" is what she meant.  I'm sure Tourette's never causes 
people to sign onto a website and type and the hit "send."  But just 
as many people do, it's being used as "king's X" or "time out"--an 
excuse for very bad behavior.  "It's not my fault, I have tourette's."

And that "I said some rude things" wasn't at all an apology.  It says 
"I'm sorry I got caught."

I'm disappointed, and I wish she would stop using "unschool" as a name.

I'm sorry this is so off topic for the list, but it does seem a good 
example of how much more worthwhile it is to be hopeful and happy than 
to be negative and cynical.


Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



------------------------------------

Yahoo! Groups Links






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

Aw.



On Thu, Feb 11, 2010 at 9:52 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

> The rude post about Holly has been deleted, and this was posted a bit
> ago:
> ======================
>
> UNSCHOOL I think my turrets has passed....Mood: embarrassed
> ----------
>
>
> Posted 2 hours ago
> � view more
> � comment
> �
>
> ----------
>
>
>
> UNSCHOOL Posted 33 minutes ago
> I said some rude things about an unschooler and her mom... No matter
> how I felt, I shouldn't have blurted out what I did. Sometimes, on the
> internet - you write/say things and it doesn't seem like anyone is
> listening. Wrong.
>
> =====================================
>
> I didn't understand "turrets has passed" at first, but I guess maybe
> "tourette's" is what she meant. I'm sure Tourette's never causes
> people to sign onto a website and type and the hit "send." But just
> as many people do, it's being used as "king's X" or "time out"--an
> excuse for very bad behavior. "It's not my fault, I have tourette's."
>
> And that "I said some rude things" wasn't at all an apology. It says
> "I'm sorry I got caught."
>
> I'm disappointed, and I wish she would stop using "unschool" as a name.
>
> I'm sorry this is so off topic for the list, but it does seem a good
> example of how much more worthwhile it is to be hopeful and happy than
> to be negative and cynical.
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<< I cannot understand a 36 ear old woman writing about a teen she
probably does not even know in real life and saying such things.>>>

Are we sure that this person really is a 36 year old adult, or a very
unhappy teen representing themself as an adult for the sake of having an
unfettered online account? The vocabulary and style seem immature.

Just a guess from these few quotes.



>
>
>
> --
> Robyn L. Coburn
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

That's my impression too, Robyn.

~Katherine



On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 2:31 AM, Robyn Coburn <dezignarob@...> wrote:

> <<<< I cannot understand a 36 ear old woman writing about a teen she
> probably does not even know in real life and saying such things.>>>
>
> Are we sure that this person really is a 36 year old adult, or a very
> unhappy teen representing themself as an adult for the sake of having an
> unfettered online account? The vocabulary and style seem immature.
>
> Just a guess from these few quotes.
>
>
>
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > Robyn L. Coburn
> >
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-Are we sure that this person really is a 36 year old adult, or a very
> unhappy teen representing themself as an adult for the sake of
having an
> unfettered online account? The vocabulary and style seem immature.
>-=-

I can't imagine a teen would waste so much time on topics to get angry
about--political and dietary stuff. It seems too immature for a teen,
but too scattered and [thinking of a better word than boring...
mundane? Stultifying?] for a Jr. High kid.

Sandra




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin Bentley

> Are we sure that this person really is a 36 year old adult, or a very
> unhappy teen representing themself as an adult for the sake of
> having an
> unfettered online account? The vocabulary and style seem immature.

I thought that, too, but during my "research" <g> on Twitter, etc.,
she talks about her daughter (and her son, I think).

Of course, that could be made up, also.

Robin B.

k

I know from living it and living in it, that a negative outlook *is* boring
and mundane once a person begins to find ways to look at life differently.
It's a little little box to put oneself in. And I think it's naturally
common in a culture that discourages emotion closeness and doesn't nurture
kids. I see it a lot online and somewhat in real life, and I stay away from
it as much as possible. While it concerns me for the people in the lives of
negative folks who must be dodging it or agreeing with it too, all *I* can
do (sometimes ... maybe) is plant of little seed of positivity or happy
thought that might grow (or not). Mostly I tend my own garden, watering and
enriching the happiness planted there by me and others.

Both of those perspectives can come on their own, one can be infected with
it from someone else, or it can even be called into existence and fed, made
to grow bigger and bigger. It's good to know that.

It's amazing the effect of either perspective in a life; positive and
negative. Not that everything is positive but one's perspective can be
generally positive even about negative things. Or it can be negative about
positive things. Life being what it is, things are what they are but that
doesn't mean my outlook need be grim. And for the people around me,
especially for Karl, I remind myself often to stay away from stewing and
muttering over things that aren't always as we might like them to be.

And yes the little little box that negativity is can stupify a person into
all sorts of regressions and inwardnesses, navel gazing in the worst ways.
By contrast, the big wide openness that emotional positivity is can stupify
in a good way in the other direction, toward life rather than away from it.

Go toward the light.

~Katherine




On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 11:33 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

> -=-Are we sure that this person really is a 36 year old adult, or a very
> > unhappy teen representing themself as an adult for the sake of
> having an
> > unfettered online account? The vocabulary and style seem immature.
> >-=-
>
> I can't imagine a teen would waste so much time on topics to get angry
> about--political and dietary stuff. It seems too immature for a teen,
> but too scattered and [thinking of a better word than boring...
> mundane? Stultifying?] for a Jr. High kid.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

My impression, from the scattered, disorganized thinking she seems to have, when combined with her clear mood swings, is she is bi polar and not getting treatment. As bad as I feel for Holly and Sandra, I feel the most pity for this other woman who clearly has no local support system to help her and she seems unaware of how "off" her thinking process is at times. Maybe someone should invite her to attend Life Is Good, I believe that's the closest unschool conference to her area.

In peace,

Annette

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-Maybe someone should invite her to attend Life Is Good, I believe
that's the closest unschool conference to her area.-=-

Not if she's mean and crazy. Even bi-polar people in their worst
moments should be able to avoid really bad behavior. And if a good
moment returns, an apology might be nice, rather than a justification.

I think she should stay home. I just hoped someone here knew her and
could talk to her directly about the benefits to her and her
child(ren) of being more soft and positive.

-=-As bad as I feel for Holly and Sandra...-=- It didn't hurt me or
Holly. I'd like for the woman to stop being destructive, but she's
not "destroying" any of the happiness at our house, just in her own
life and reputation, and the peace of MySpace. <g>


Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]