Sylvia Toyama

The list description was changed. So though Anne once thought it would be great to have a list for non-typical, out-of-sync, highly sensitive, Aperger's explosive, etc., as the list gained speed and the moderators gained experience, they decided maybe that was not a good

idea after all. Just as others had said before that list was formed.


I find that Anne's list is a good place for talking about non-typical or highly sensitive responses to situations, often from a perspective of both children and parents who are highly sensitive or non-typical.  That list, and Anne's writings, were tremendously helpful to me in understanding myself and my own responses/reactions to my kids and has made such a difference in the Mom I am today. 

I do sometimes find that Always Learning is not a good fit for me in my more sensitive moments (when I'm slogging thru my own personal issues).  Since those are the moments when I'm mostly likely to do something that complicates my kid's life, I need somewhere I can go to get ideas I'm actually willing to hear (sometimes the answers here hit me wrong, and I know that's about me not about the person posting here).  I'm on both lists because sometimes I need stark honesty and I can withstand it; other times I need to hear from people adept at talking about what it means to be highly sensitive, both as a child or an adult. Sometimes highly sensitive children become highly sensitive adults (I did!) and that's okay, too.    

I don't find labels useful in unschooling either. We recently revisited that decision for one of our children, which turned out to be a wonderful conversation starter for us all, and helped us find more solutions as we all grow and change.  Ultimately, we again decided not to seek a label.  But if we'd been completely unwilling to ask that question, we'd have missed a very important conversation with our son.  I think, too often, having a label lets parents off the hook -- rather
than coming up with more creative solutions to really reach and help a
child, parents can just chalk it up to his 'disorder' get some expert
help, give him a drug or two, control his behavior and ignore the
child's very valid needs.

I'm often more sensitive to some situations than most people I know.  Not surprisingly, so are my children, each in his own way and to varying degrees. Looking around my family tree, I'm not unlike other people who came before me.  I'm certain there's a genetic component to it.  I, too, find that when I'm wanting to 'fix' my kids, it's that I'm seeing something in them I don't/didn't like in myself. 


People could join that list and have people deny it was ever intended

to be a special needs list, or they could stay here where people have

been saying for much longer that labelling children causes problems.


Or people could join Shine, and stay here too, enjoying and benefiting from the abundance of perspectives and voices offered in both places.  I think it's like finding more resources for our families as unschoolers -- the more options, the better. 


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